Autistic Jow Forums

>be fat autistic 14 year old
>dad buys me Mosin one christmas
>wipe off cosmoline with an old sock
>later wear said sock to school
>changing in gym class
>somebody points out "yo why are anons socks so dirty hahaha"
>look down and see brown/orangeish streaks that look like shit
>everyone laughing at me while I try to stammer out "i-it's grease from my rifle..."
>forever be know as the kid with shit socks

>thanksgiving
>family has story about neighbors shooting at someone breaking into car
>marine, fired warning shot
>"so we won't let user run at night with a hoody on"
>"ackshually, you can be held liable for further escalation of violence by firing a warning shot"
>gf instantly blurts out that I have like 30 guns
>everyone starts talking about how they're coming to me when the zombie apocalypse happens

Didn't go too badly

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Here’s an odd, coming of age story involving guns.

>Dating a girl in high school.
>Product of a single mom. Dad not around.
>Has an uncle who acts as her father figure.
>Think he’s pretty cool at the time.
>He’s into guns.
>Looking back now the best way I can discribe him now is “Nutnfancy sheepdawg guy.”
>Go to the gun range with GF and uncle.
>Get handed a shitty Taurus 9mm and half a box of ammo. Told to go to my own lane.
>Uncle goes full on chad mode with his niece
>All kinda of instruction, different guns, lots of fun.
>I’m done shooting in less than 5 minutes. Just stand around for the rest of the hour.
>Whole situation felt odd.
>Leave when finished.
>Weeks later argument about stupid juvenile relationship stuff leads to her breaking down and crying.
>Uncle has been making her blow him since she was 12.
>16 year old me does my best to handle it and be a good supportive boyfriend.
>Break up a week or two later.

>be me shooting my M9 for first time
>guy with another beretta asks if mine shoots to the left too
>"idk im still sighting it in"
>"but the sights are fixed"

mfw

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>everyone starts talking about how they're coming to me when the zombie apocalypse happens

Tell them that shit ain't free. Anyone who comes a-knocking after SHTF gets shot or enslaved.
No exceptions.

Are you a nigger or spic by chance?

Food, water, gas or ass. Bring something to the table at least

This one time a sweet bbw held a gun to my head while I sucked on her juicy clit.

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My friend got drunk on New Year’s Day, ended up developing a bad habit of fucking around with his pistol while black out drunk, ended up accidentally shooting his mother, and is now spending the rest of his life in prison. Definitely embarrassing if you ask me.

Not my autism but i was there
>like a month ago
>decide to invite friend clay shooting
>never shot with him but know hes hasguns
>he has a maverick 88
>his turn up
>goes 0/10
>dont think hed be missing that much since he claims hes done it before
>go to pick up hulls
>huh, slug hulls
>hey mike whatd you bring
>has stevens 20ga
>im shooting handloads
>james..
>yea?
>you shooting slugs
>yea, its all i had, adda a little difficulty but thats fine
>not just woods behind where we shoot
>pack up shortly after, leave, hes not invited back
>mfw dipshit could've killed someone to avoid pickimg up a box of shells

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Are you me?

>go to pay for thing
>reach into pockets
>bullets spill out like spaghetti
>bullets for my beretti

>be a se/k/ret santa
>keep forgetting to send my package so i hand it off to my brother to send
>postmaster refuses to send without a search of the box because of a fucking gondala
>post master opens the box to find one roumd of 7.63x54r
>postman goes crazy threatening to call the police on my normalfag brother.
>brother freaks out and heads home
>both parents, my aunt, my grandma and my uncle at the house with my brother freaking out thinking hes going to jail
>Ma and Pa sort through the box trying to see what the fuck i was sending with all this ungodly shit on the outside
>pic very related.

Long story short. I had to explain to most of my family
>what hentai is
>why i addressed my target as Faggot in the letter i wrote
>why i threatened to bomb his house if he grinched someone
>why i was shipling ammunition
And most importantly
>why was there a swastika made out of SKS stripper clips on the bottom of the box.
Just saying fellas. Watch what you send through the usps

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youre a pussy dude holy fuck me and my friends would just go to state land and rip thousands of rounds wherever the fck we wanted

>at a gunshow
>like 17 years old
>dude is talking to a person at a table and getting a quote on it
>walk up and interject "I'll buy it from ya"
>vender says "How about you just get the fuck out of here?"
Years later I realize that the the guy wasn't actually selling the rifle, he was asking the vender, who was a friend I assume, what it was worth

I'm a little drunk, by it I meant to say a Finnish mosin

No edit, no greentext, I am lazy and inept.
Italanon.
I live my entire life around guns, my father has (a legal) stockpile of them, brother is a maniac in the airforce.

One day brother came back home, I was (14-15 maybe 13) and I was indeed clumsy and autistic.
Brother decided Its time to me to shoot.
I am quite sure he is gonna take me in the woods and kill me.

So we go in the woods and he has my fathers's 98 (a beretta 92 in 9x21, the 9x19 was illegal) he shoots couple of rounds then it is my turn, I had to reload and shoot.

Put the mag in and try to put a bullet in the chamber, the skin between my thumb and index get stuck between the barrel and the gun,

I got literally bitten, and deflored by a Beretta.

Then I try to shoot the target. I shoot, and suddenly my ears get all "WEEEEEeee"

I try to cover my ears having dad's beretta still in my hand, basically I almost shoot my brain out.

>that boomer in the background on a scooter

Yesterday I went to jersey mikes and when the lady rung me up she said my total was "seventeen seventy-six" and I muttered out loud "Merrica!"

jesus

jfc dude. shoulda called the cops. if for nothing but the actin chad on your girl at the range. fuck that guy disrespecting right if front of you

>spending $17+ dollars on a meal at a sandwich shop
you greasy fat fuck, I can smell your virginity from here

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not him but them sandwiches are hella expensive and you can get like 3-4 meals outta one. i mean i can accomplish the thing in one sitting and im a skeleton. but if you dont be a slob a half for dinner and 1qtr in the morning and 1qtr for lunch and you wont be hungry at all

Well Jersey Mikes is very expensive for one, but also I generally only eat one meal a day, so they do tend to eat big meals. In this case it was a giant sized philly (~14in) and a brownie.

ive tried jersey mikes one time in my life. the sandwich/meat was dry as hell so ive never been back. i should give them another chance

You gotta get it sloppy with oil and vinegar. I guess the roast beef is kinda dry sometimes, and the fact they put so much on there makes it seem way drier. Get the club or whatever. Roast beef and Turkey + bacon. Add mayo and you're eating 4 animals at once.

Based and redpilled

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I'm so tired of living on this piss earth. God save us.

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Natural selection will pay him a visit one of these days.

Dude I fucking love you

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yeah i saw the swastika on a book in someone's house and got in trouble for drawing it at daykare

this is why you don't delegate important tasks to morons.

Aside from the fatness, I was the exact same

The time I bragged about my illegal AR to an LAPD cop despite him obviously being some kind of law enforcement.