What Jow Forums gonna do?

>> 3 a.m.
>> you wake up with breaking glass sound
>> your family is sleeping
>> you check out the window and see an individual
>What Jow Forums going to do?
I'd know that I were asleep since this happening in real life would have triggered the detonator at the door sending the pieces of this fine gentleman in the direction of my creek

>3am
>Still awake because nocturnal as fuck
>The moment someone breaks a window everyone else awake because small house
>Dad would would probably just shoot the intruder
I would probably just call the police and an ambulance and help my dad put some fingerprints from the intruder on the gun since nofuns country

based.

Also, out of curiosity, what country would that be?

> > the trigger is mushy, heavy and keeps getting heavier and never shoots
Wtf I've had the same dreams some time ago

I use a bible and convert them to Christianity, then lead them to a life of spirituality where they only meditate, its essentially death

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I feel bad for you upside down fags

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I have a dog that's scared of everything and an Estwing 28 framing hammer by the bed.

God, I love burger king.

Drop my P37 E-tool on their head from the stairs or grab the 1800s officers sabre off my wall

Should mention, I'm a Britbong. The sabre is above my head so I can reach it and still claim "oh well I just grabbed it because it was the nearest thing" can't really with the E-tool.

>you wak wake up

Bitch, Im still up. Before he even unlocks the door, I already got my sights traimed on him.

I'd be surprised if I woke up.

Pretend I’m still asleep and hope he shoots me.

well hes not in the home yet so I cant do anything besides call the cops.

We all do, user, we all do.

Grab my m44, load a stripper, swing the bayonet around and tell him to fuck off while gesturing at him with the point. if he pulls some shit shoot him but most likely he’d fuck off because I’d be naked

Mine are usually that the redguard changes into a family member.

>he’d fuck off because I’d be naked

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get my naked, oiled up body out there while wielding garden sheers while playing this song:

youtube.com/watch?v=BxHNztg0X3s

>3am
>glass breaks
>triggers home security alarm
>105 dB alarm
>individual runs off

I'd probably grab an AR or something but I doubt the person is going to stick around after the alarm sounds.

Fel?

if a country with no guns, then a gladius machete and a kukri or a dagger for closer combat

>but most likely he’d fuck off because I’d be naked
I dunno user. You being naked, the gun and the bayonet....I think I'd be to aroused to leave, would have to take my chances with you ;)

Sauce?

>Hear bump in the night
>Open gunfag closet
>Suffer from crippling choice paralysis
DIE

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>105 dB alarm
in sweden you could be sued for risking the intruder with hearing damage

No I'm still standing thanks

>SKS
>Bayonet: Fixed

I hope to god that's a joke....

Simple, I grab my M4, which is stored cruiser ready with 00, and go to persuade the melanin enriched gentleman to cease his shenanigans.

>cruiser ready
It's like you want to die

>sneak out my other window
>wait until he is inside my crib
>enter his vehicle and hide since 5'3" manlet
>while on a fast road grab steering wheel and veer into tree or off bridge

This is going to be so funny haha

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Hockey mask and machete.

try not to get the glock loaded with snap caps, that would be a real bummer.

>I grab my unloaded shotgun

Hi-Point C9. Whatever I shoot them with has a decent chance of being taken as "evidence" and possibly never returned, so it won't be anything of value.

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>being so much of a jew that you'd rather have the shittiest working gun possible and go through the humiliation of explaining the police you own a hi-point instead of owning something reliable that costs 300 bucks more just because it "might never come back".

Don't let anyone put you down user. You go hipoint-chan

Same thing I did before
>hear niggers
>quietly get up and take off pajamas
>grab M&P9 1.0
>run down the stairs yelling
>"MAH, GET MY KLAN ROBES. I THINK THEM NIGGERS DOWN THE STREETS ARE BREAKING IN"
>he sees me
>white coat is hanging from the wall by the door
>he hears me
>looks at white coat
>looks back at my gun
>he bolts out the door
>call police
>tell them everything except part where I yelled KKK shit
>he's caught breaking into another persons house that night

Roll over inside my hardened steel sleeping pod and wait for the GPS tracking tags on my valuables to stop moving.

>3AM and I wake up to the smashing glass,
>can you help me unravel this latest mistake?
>I am only armed with my shotgun from last season.

Breathe, OP. Just breathe. Then put your ears in and get to work.

>Quietly wake up wife, then get sawn off double barrel
>Wait for him to enter living room and grab TV
>He just as he's about to leave, turn on lights and hold shotgun to his face
>Wink over the wife
>He's still holding TV, stares at me nervously and confused
>Tell him if he moves or drops TV, I blow his brains out as I press the shotty into his temple
>Wife gets on her knees and unzips his pants, start blowing his cock
>He's visibly confused and sweating
>I start masturbating with my other hand, still holding shotty to his temple
>Ejaculate into his pockets
>Let him leave with TV, pants still unzipped, a few million in his pocket

Merry Christmas motherfucker!

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Can we please all raid this guy's house for christmas?

There it is.
There's the Jow Forums I know and love.

>Wife has oral herpes
>Unwashed landwhale
>Guy has aids, TV's broken

Nothing, because I already bought my home security decoy.

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Toss him a couple Steveweisers then help him beat the shit out of DX.

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Chamber a round into AR. Tactically sneak across hallway to secure mom's room. Setup a position over stairs. If I see a head bobbing or peak around the corner I unload on him. Then proceed to call 911.

Grab glock 29 in 9x25 Dillon
Be first person to use 9x25 for self defense

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Hi, Germanfag here.
We gently have to ask the robber if it was possible to stop his doing. We will punished by law if we hurt him or he hurts himself by utilizing damaged ladders, stairs or fences.
Please could anybody take over this fucking country to change the laws..?
PLEASE!!!

I mount suppressor to my licensed rifle, shoot him inside and then have to rent a boat for a weekend.
Given state of UK police I can only imagine how many shallow graves of burglars there are on local farms.

>What do?
Shoot him.

>Best equipment?
A gun.

>Letting the niggers in blue steal your favorite firearm
I bet you let them fuck your wife too

Same here is Australia. The safest thing for us to do is help the thief load our belongings in to their car and wish them a Merry Christmas. Anything else, including them tripping over a chair and injuring themselves, could be cause for them to sue us.

>strap on sword belt
>don my heater shield
>ready my spear

I feel bad for you guys. You used to rule like 1/4 of the earth. Its like if mongolia banned horses.

I’m shooting his ass repeatedly, for sure.

12ga #4 buckshot

>Grab saiga and vest
>Tell them to ID themselves
>Either they run away or engage
Ezpz. Done and done in like 2 minutes, tops.

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/thread

As a Canadcuck, I dont own a firearm (yet). So I train with my BK-9 Combat Bowie... Idk man. Rush the fucker and try to slice him up in hand to hand combat? Id rather shoot him though.

Only one of my shotguns I have slug/buckshot ammo handy for at the moment, and it's not scary and black so that in the unlikely event I actually need it, the prosecution won't be able to label me as an unstable menace to society quite as easily.

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Spainfag here.
Nofun country. What do I do in case of a break--in?
Only weapon in the home is a firewood axe and an unsharpened dagger I got for a birthday.

>in a fight with someone the harder you try and punch, the lighter your punches are
>running away from a bomb
>the harder you try and run, the slower you go

Our brains are faggots convince me otherwise.

>using your favorite gun for self defense
>having such low standards that your favorite gun is a basic home defense pistol
>being worried about a simple, cheap tool

fucking jews.

105 dB peak isn't even against the working safety regulations, so it's 100% because they're a "cucked sweden xD"-fag

I look down from the second story window that over looks my front door, sigh and drop my dummy safe filled with cement on the mans head ala looneytoons. Then call police

Everything going alright user?

This didnt happen.

>not having oral herpes and HPV
Have you ever even had sex user?

Add a flashbang to that arsenal and youre looking pretty good.

Wait until perp is all the way inside the house (because California)
Make sure he is facing me (again because California)
Proceed to unload cucked 7 rd pistol (yep California)
Get sued by perps family cuz he a good boy and din do nuffins to da racist white mans and probably actual lose the case (you get the idea by now)

I think you just have autism, I punch hard when I want to punch hard and run fast when I want to run fast

This guy knows what's up. Hi-Points are solid.

> 3 a.m.
> you wake up with breaking glass sound
> your family is sleeping
> you check out the window and see an individual
>Grab my Self Defense Musket
>Sneak down
>Find nigger
>Shoot shot
>Misses and kill neighbor
>Quickly grab my flintlock and shoot the nig
>.50 ball round goes through TV and kills Nig

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That wasn't a dream, just the average CZ75 trigger.

UWU Well if that’s what you wanted you could of just knocked first

How do you like your Rhino? I really like the look, and I liked how it felt in my hand when I fingerfucked one at a gun show. Any problems with it?

Real situation that happened to me

>be me t. leaf
>00:30 finish vidya head upstairs
>roll into bed and be half asleep
>hear noises, think it's the cats
>hear door getting shook open (!)
>ask gf if she heard it too or i'm wakedreaming
>she confirms noise
>go to office on second floor grab triggerlocked shotgun (Canuck Defender)(SBS for you burgers)
>it's unloaded and still locked
>come downstairs yellings "who's there" and having it ready to club/rack and pray I don't have to deal with anything
>look out window, no one there
>place shotty on table, step outside on porch, street is dead empty
>go back upstairs
>somethingdoesn'tseemright.jpg
>look outside window
>some fucker is in my car with back door open
>tell gf to call 911
>stand downstairs looking at him relaying a description
>turn on porchlight
>he ducks inside my car and pretends not to move for 30seconds
>goes back to robbing my shit
>get phone for 911 in my hand
>keep telling her the description blah,blah,blah
>debate going outside with shotgun
>realize I would get fucked up by the legal system
>wait till car theif leaves with some of my shit
>follow like a rogue, with 911 still on the line
>po-po show up less than a block away and stop him (5min response time, newrecord.wav)
>3 cruisers, 2 vans, must be a quiet night
>give statement, leave out everything about guns
>officer gives me the 150m lift home, grabs my license plate for the report
>we both see skunk crawl under car
>tells me i'm all done with paperwork and good to go
>jokingly ask to borrow glock for skunk
>jokingly offers me rifle
>get inside, watch horror movies cause I can't sleep over thinking I might have had to shoot someone, and knowing legal system would have not backed me
>thank his noodlyness Flying Spaghetti Monster, that carhopper was a retard and woke me up, and stayed so long after I spotted him more than twice

me too , thanks

ummmm sweaty...is that cum on your jacket?

Seconding this. I need to know if trying to find one would be a waste of time.

>3 am
>wake up with breaking glass sound
>your family is sleeping
>check window an see individual
>grab the strapon the wive uses on me
>strap it on
>sneak up on intruder
>welcome him to the next level of hell
>pound his ass into oblivion

Sensible user is sensible.

Yeah I do too. All of my gun dreams I can never shoot. Trigger's are always a 100 lb trigger pull.

This

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