You can have any guns and all the ammo you'll ever need but in return you will never have sex ever again

You can have any guns and all the ammo you'll ever need but in return you will never have sex ever again.

DEAL OR NO DEAL?

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Can I still beat my dick at titty bars though?

>never have sex again
>implying most of Jow Forums has had sex
You must be new here.

Huh. Loophole. Yes, you can still jerk off.

kms if i had to give up either one

>need
Really though, as a celibate user, I'd trade off my ability to buy more guns (not ammo) if I could have a gf forever.

Absolute deal. I can get myself off better than any girl has ever been able to, and making out would satisfy all my needs for intimacy. And I could still have kids, since you said we can jerk off.
Out of curiousity, are you counting oral sex/handjobs as sex?

The way things are going I wasn't going to have sex again anyway. What does "need" mean though? If it was all the guns I could ever want, then yes.

I'm married, so I'll take one of everything please.

I'm literally an actual faggot who's fully natsoc and hates himself. My two options before were chemical castration and suicide. Thank you for this blessing op

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>have sex ever again
This implies that I'll have got laid at least once.
>Mfw Howie must provide one case girl to take my virginity
>Mfw Howie then has to give me unlimited guns and ammo
>Mfw I smash that deal button fast enough to break the sound barrier.

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Yeah, we'll call that the Titty Show loophole...no Fed background check required

Sure.
I'm 40 and married.
That is coming down the pike soon anyway.

I'm already not having sex so I'm down.

Deal bitches are assholes anyways.

Do Bill Clinton rules apply?

I'll take the guns since I already own like 8 bad dragon masturbators so I'll be fine.

Deal.

Are we talking benis in the vagoo? Can I still suck dick or get pegged?

We’re going to need some definitions here.
What is and isn’t sex?
Is getting a BJ or HJ considered sex? If I put a fleshlight inside a woman’s vagina and fuck it, is that sex?
What about the guns?
Are existing guns magically transported into my possession? Are they copied or are they new creations with unique serial numbers? How would this work with one-of-a-kind experimental firearms? Is there anything precluding me from opening up shop and flooding the market with a never ending supply of pre-‘86 FA machine guns?

I’m taking the deal either way but my inner Jew wants to game the system.

Life continues as usual but with more guns and ammo.. cool.

Deal.

t.virgin

Is it terminal? I'm only 9 months from getting my wizard powers.

No deal. I'm willing to work for both

Thing is once you've hit the trifecta of no condom, uncut and in love you'll realize there's literally no better physical sensation. I love guns and shooting but I'd rather have to pay for it all myself than never feel that again.

how do you know that uncircumcised sex feels better?

I'm jealous. I threw away my shot at wizardry and it was not worth it.

Lol was looking for this response. Sounds like marriage to me OP. Sex dries up and you go DEEP into hobbies. Why do you think most men hang out in the garage?

SOLD

Can I still fuck my tulpas?

>again
>need

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>all the ammo you'll ever need
>he give you 1 bullet

Can I have sex with my guns tho?

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Does oral count? Because if not, without a second thought. Sex is pretty overrated.

>implying I have sex in the first place

Rape doesn't count as sex. Deal.

Of course!

Can I still do a Bill Clinton?

Sex is normally defined as penis+ vagina

So I'm fuckin her in the ASS!

OP never deal with the devil...you will always lose.

*Him

FTFY

kek

Sex implies consent.
Can I rape? Asking for a friend.

Just a guess, since I've still got all my nerve endings and the head of my dick hasn't karatinized. The procedure was designed to reduce pleasure after all.

Her(male). You forget where you are.

Yeah, thats correct, sorry

>need
I don’t “need” anything. Shit deal

Well then fuck yeah I'll take it, tulpa sex is 10x better than any fucking roastie