>Hello user welcome to the range.
>Today we're running a special 20% off for singles day. >Tomorrow fees to use the range will go back up to +40% for singles as usual.
>We just can't risk another "incident" like what happened last month.
>You understand right user?
Hello user welcome to the range
Jose Myers
Jace Evans
>tfw local range won’t even let single shooters rent firearms unless you already have one you own with you
Alexander Cruz
Fuck you Robert, I pay the singles tax on the day that you restock the fucking crab legs and clean out the brass jews cage. Until then, we have nothing to discuss.
Jayden Rivera
Unfortunately user we haven't restocked the crab legs since last months "incident". You know the one? We had a birthday party for a girl named Stacy and her friends, who consumed most of the crab legs that day. We had a regular user that day we waived the singles fee for, and he was very agitated that day he when he couldn't get his legs. At one point while he was shooting his CZ P-10 one of the girls from the party whispered to Stacy and the other girls and they looked over at Mr. user and started to giggle, then began indulging in their birthday crab legs, while flinging the shells at Mr. user with one landing on Mr. user's brand new trilby , and....well....we all remember what happened so I'll stop right there... Sorry for the sudden changes we've just had to take certain security measures to ensure safety
Samuel Richardson
I'll never forget the birthday party for Mae, where the party goers sprayed her with pepper gel and smashed her face into the cake when she blew the candles out. She was hit so hard, she was knocked out, and no one realized she wasn't joking until 15 minutes passed. The doctors took a blue lipped mae to the Emergency Office, and one worker was arrested for drinking the birthday cake flavored milkshake in her lungs after she had gone to the youtube video in her lungs, in a house in a heartbeat (got you), to the sky of youtube videos and fame brevity. Oh yeah, we can CUSTARD GEESE QUJARRK
William Gomez
Yes, yes user. Mae is a portly little good and she absorved that cake quite well. She can really take her blows, if you catch my drift
Nathan Brooks
Real talk would you rather be able to shoot at any range public and private for free as long as you want during their business hours. If all lanes are filled they will literally kick someone out of one so you can get in there.
Or; unlimited free garlic butter on demand, delivered within 10 minutes for life. (Note you cannot use this delivery for transportation; e.g. lost in the mountains? They will fly a helicopter to you and drop off your garlic butter; you can't get on the helicopter to get out of the woods though
Mason Bailey
Do you still have those nacho cheese smoothies? My buddy said they're like the best thing ever and I really reeeeaaaally wanna try one out.
Carson Edwards
I'm single because of my status as a pre-operation transsexual and I will sue you for gender discrimination if you try to charge me extra.
Jacob Richardson
Is there still a fee at rental ranges to rent out a gun? I've got a backyard and and land so I can shoot whenever I want.
Cooper Lewis
The fuck happened last month? Did someone sperg out and try to fuck a crableg because their seasonal depression hit an all time low?
Thomas Lee
>Did they replace the black sillihoute targets after reporting that you were uncomfortable with them?
>Well, those blue targets behind you are actually a piss take
>Now, I may be single, but I have enough dignity to not put up with this place. Sorry you can't say the same for yourself
My walk out of there was accompanied by applause and cheers that day
Blake Lopez
Ahhhhhh yes we remember you. You were shooting one of those Tanick TP9s and kept loudly talking over everyone about how it's just like a Glock and it's better than Glock, you were even unintentionally spitting a little bit and it made everyone feel a bit uneasy if I say so. Also make sure you come back we found a Rick and Morty wallet with your ID in it user, come back and pick that up anytime
Asher Williams
Bring your own then
John Collins
We're trying some new things including a Kambucha and Basedlvent™ Smoothie, that has a variation of super hero themes you can choose from to change it up.
Jason Barnes
I will drown israel in a sea of garlic butter
Nolan Nelson
Why not just build a shooting range in your basement?
Dominic Ramirez
No basements where I live, too close to seal level. Now an attic range? Patent it, let's get it rolling
John Reed
>be me
>penis inspection at range
>range jester points at me and calls the range trap over
>"Hey Ash, looks like you might be out of a job if we can user into a skirt and some leggings!"
>everyone laughs
>haven't been to the range since
Eli Perry
>new grabgun law passes in all of US
>every range is mandated to have at least a single clown active during its buisness hours
>the clown walks around the range, drops banana peels, honks at people trying to aim
>if you shoot him you get a life sentence
>you can shoot for free at any range and get $5000 a month, but you can only shoot at a range with a clown
>if you build your own range your clown will be government issue
Would you?
Cameron Thompson
>Glock and cheese
>Not mac-11 and cheese
Well, the popcorn and irl gun-eagle mascot was cool, but I think I'll have to pass on this range.
Henry Richardson
>Gun Eagle
>Not... Range Falcon
Nolan Martinez
I understand. Suppose I’ll just have to take my business elsewhere then.
Matthew Ross
Yes, what kind of question is that? Who would say no to this? I'd bring my government issued clown shooting out on BLM land too.
Blake White
>do you want a clown?
Yes, nothing else needs to be said, a range clown can only be a good thing
Nicholas Hughes
Robert where the fuck are my beans? I checked the locker room and someone took my fucking beans, out of my locker.
Joshua Cox
>Go to the range
>Get 2 extra boxes of 9mm they had on on sale
>Only $34.99 a box, great price
>Order a bucket of crab legs w/ garlic butter
>"Sorry user, the kid's birthday party just got the last ones"
>Whatever
>Pay my entry fee
>$79.99 +tip
>Turn to head on down to the pistol range
>"Excuse me user, are you trying to go shoot without getting the mandatory penis inspection?"
>Range trap comes over to inspect me
>His hands are cold and my dick shrivels up a little
>He giggles at me
>The kids at the birthday party laugh at me
>Pull my pants back up, finally I get to go shoot
>Pick a lane, tip the lane attendant $10, and start shooting
>The range jester keeps honking his horn and making me flinch
>Brass goblin keeps scurrying between my legs snatching all my brass and distracting me
>My groupings are terrible
>Kids start laughing at me again
>Fuck this
>Pack up my things and leave
>Still have to tip the jester on the way out
Honestly I dont know why I keep going there. I should just go shoot on some BLM land or something.
Christian Jones
>Pullz up to some hwite cwakas wange
>Got dat muffikin Draco and Glawk 40 on me
>"E-Excuse me sir, you have to pay your entry f-fee!"
>BITCHASS NIGGA I AIN'T GOTTA PAY SHIET
>bust a cap in dat hwite bois ass
>Hahaha shieeeet he ded nigga
>Walkon over to da layne
>Hwite boi havin a party
>Theys didnt invite Tryone?
>Fuckem up with da draco
>BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
>Fukin clown ass nigga runs to open the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
Jace Howard
Bump