congratulations, subject: Kommando, due to your slightly above average competence you have been awarded with an aperture science sentry turret.
what will you do with it?
Congratulations, subject: Kommando...
Ryan Baker
Jason Gomez
I'mma fuck it
Nathaniel Thomas
That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Liam Harris
>that only thing that i can picture is it screaming and sobbing in that electronic child like voice
...
Parker Ortiz
>"Why do you focus so much of your time and energy upon me? I am an object. A weapon. I cannot marry you, bear your offspring, or perform nearly any other function of a biological mate. I worry for you as much as my programming allows and would rather see you happy with a proper mate."
Jace Watson
[Is that from something specific?]
Turrets are great. Protect your family (Or if they're protecting only you then they are protecting their family), calm you with a song, inflict misery upon your enemies.
Nolan Torres
bolt it down on the front yard so nobody can knock it over
Joseph Stewart
Jack off on it's big gay head.
Hunter Ross
Adapt it to launch dildos, obviously
Christian Richardson
What if the dog killers have a portal gun?
Carter Edwards
Oh man, I just violated the reddiquette rules by announcing me reading this in the voice of the turret from the game!! You gotta drink this, it'll fuck you up: I am an object. A weapon. Nobody put me into a potato, or fed me to birds, I had a pretty good life. That's Glados' line, you should have already read it in your internal condescending female tupla voice.
I got you in the mood, the train of thought. Listen to all the tapes, You're a sissy, porn is everything, you need porn, Do findom, I don't care if you children are eating their own shit. Don't you love women now? If I'm the controller and center of happenings, then I can use the disgust response from people stepping over their bounds or not in their subdominant porn plastering, all the stomach shots, all the first person cuckold hallucination proprietary obsession causing rage to all others, and encouragement of antisocial female behavior, FOR FREEE DOING IT FOR fREEE You got had janny.
Pic related is Jow Forums, all they ever do is use opioids and convince themselves everyone who sees problems with their addiction is a le normie, and they're the mastermind controller. They also need toilet paper rolls and sweatshirts to deal with their lack of heat from no money for heating oil, and lack of anal integrity because of sexual deviance. Don't you feel so warm? They continue on their self-destructive path, hopefully no HIV infection, otherwise we can mulch the LGBTQ community like a dump truck pouring it's gravel out
Ethan Perry
Terry A. Davis lives on.
Charles Butler
/\^^^this^^^/\
The glow in the dark CIA niggers are using modern polybius through vidya to seduce and pervert the youth. The jannies reading this are faggots who stand idle and watch as Rome two sticks them three or four(?) in the gay while they drink pinneal calcifying tap water from sissy plastic bottles.
Fucking unbased hiroshimoot is bringing about a false rapture to split the nigger into two homunculi groups of faggot trannies and Greek advertisers, but he isn't the lizard person I was promised. I'm trying not to be niggerlicous about it, but I still see the same blue circadian fuckers that the Three letter alphabet agencies put in fucking anything. The nobel prize was given to neocon-luddite yuppies for bringing the real rapture from gallium nitride, but it doesn't matter because every retard is eating from red packaging and eating hormonal imbalance. Fucking mental illness normalfags pretend schitzo is natural because they can't handle any level of complexity in a "scary and difficult" world. Jow Forums is the new normalnigger paradigm in every urbanite shithole this side of parallel. Some way they end up splattering like the low-test slugs they are, mostly with slugs if they can get a Remington, but probably with a ballistic dildo. Either way they eat out everybody's rights with retard statistics and Greek debate and deception.
These niggers are the Persian Greece of the middle east in the neo-west. No boundary pushing, no worship, just equality over freedom, and all equally shit. These people are strangers to everyone else and themselves. They're anthills: you just step on them and their entire lineage dies. If you stick your face in the dirt you get bitten, but you can just fucking step on over and around them. That's no reason to play with ant-people. Be happy and stay unniggerlicous, believe in personal thought and question every narrative you see, even the ones you believe. Use Satan tech to fuck the devil with vegetables you make yourself.
Hudson Lee
You monster.
Paint house in non-portal-conducive material.
Juan Ortiz
Mr. Rattmann, this is your final warning. Please stop using company computers in this manner and report to the medical wing for your pills.
Juan Powell
Schizoposter, you are my new favorite Jow Forums user.
Adrian Morgan
>kommando
>competence
Gavin Rivera
He's the one who got banned for saying anime doesn't belong on Jow Forums too
Jordan Bailey
Use it to guard my stuff and provide simulated friendship.
Isaac Carter
Mail it an unmarked box to someone on my naughty list
Lincoln Sanchez
Take it apart to learn the secrets of 65% more bullet, per bullet.
Jayden Butler
Wake up at night and trigger it
Anthony Price
We fire the whole bullet, that's 65% more bullet per bullet!
Nathan Taylor
Let my kids play with it
Robert Wright
What the fuck are you talking about, lad? You alright?