Forces unknown have caused our world and a fantasy world to combine. Dragons, Orcs, Elves and the like now roam the Earth. Magic now, inexplicably, is a thing.
Tensions between modern humans and the denizens of the fantasy world have reached a point of open hostility towards one another. While the World governments are able to secure major city centers, the suburbs and rural areas range from fragile peace to 'fire on sight'.
What does Jow Forums do?
Previous Thread:
Tactical broadsword time!
>it's another noguns fantasy thread about elf/furshit/orc smut faggotry
Yikes.
God I wish I had a MP5N
More elfette stories?
Someone hates fun.
At least its just the one thread
Elfette user here, keep em coming boys. I need my tactical knife ear art
>Elfette is over fondling her FR F2
>says she hears about a show for guns and wants to enter hers in it
>roaring_human_laughter
>'w-whats so funny user???'
>explain what gun shows actually are
>[heavy elvish breathing]
>'you HAVE to take me user!!!! PleasePleasePleasePlease'
>ok ok fine
>maybe ill find a non bubbad Nugget and make an unwise purchase
>lets being orcbro, he loves that shit
>get over there, elfette is super excited
>decided to go all out, open carrying her FR F2 and a remington 1859 repro
>minimalist plate carrier
>woodland (its the BEST camo user!) Bdu pants cut into short shorts (lord have mercy)
>coyote brown T shirt, very tight
>PASGT helmet with elf ears drawn on the sides
>im in my jeans an Navy boot hoodie
>orcbro is in his polo and well pressed slacks
>cant an orc dress nice?
>get inside, shes in awe
>the jerky vendor has hired various goblins to peddle his wares
>elves selling bows, elfette goes to chat them up but they are off put by her guns at first. Warm up to them when she denounces polymer
>orc selling maces
>several dwarves with shoddily made tasers
>elfette is bounding everywhere, thirsty virgins following her ass with their eyes
>fuck off ya cunts
>she comes back, me and orcbro just spent $60 on goblin jerky
>worth every coin
>shes making her sad eyes
>fuk
>'th-they didn't like selling to elves at some of these...'
>i ask her what she wants, and ill get it for her if she just gets the the cash
>she perks up and thanks me, drags me over to a vendor
>orcbro laughs as he steals my jerky
>ok elfette which one do you want
>'THAT one!'
>m1 carbine
>fuuuuuggggg
>'it would go PERFECT with my Garand user! They were made for each other!'
>walk up to Boomer McFudd
>'eyup that theres an em whun carbeener, best damn sniper rifle we ever made'
>wut
>'lucky you came along, had some knife ear whore askin bout it'
>do.
>NOT.
>BULLY.
>MY.
>ELF.
>got a problem with elves?
1/?
I grab my Bible, my AR-15 and Glock 17, bring as much 5.56 as I can, and look for some fantasy creatures. The goal is simple, spread the word of God until I die first, and try not to die second. I think I'll try preaching to the Giants first, then moving on to the Fairies, then the Elves, then Dwarves, and moving on until no one is left. If the SHTF and hostilities break out into open warfare, I grab any followers I have gathered, hide up in the Appalachian mountains, and use our happy faithful paramilitary to shoot any creature, human or otherwise, who tries to fuck with us.
This absolutely must become a regular thread.
I'm going to need some more information.
>How long ago did the merge occur?
>Do the fantasy races have their own nations or are they squatting?
>Have any of them adopted human culture or do they cling to theirs?
>What sort of magic are we dealing with? Is it something anyone can utilize or is it specific?
I suppose the biggest question is what flavor of fantasy you're going for. Is it Tolkien-esque? D&D-style? Warhammer? Similar to the movie Bright?
Cry some more, faggot.
>'hmf! One of them new age kids i reckon... damn kids dont know whymuts whut'
>[boomer ramblings]
>'ah never served muhself but i know damned well they attacked our heros in uneeform!'
>ahaha
>i have you now fucker
>well when i was deployed gramps we had a few elf units cover our flanks. Outstanding scouts, saved alot of lives
>lmao as if
>elves werent even in our AO
>but boom doesnt need to know that
>boomer_.exe_has_crashed
>'oh uh well ah uh didnt know'
>'t-thanks for yer service'
>no hard feelings gramps
>sells me the m1, dont even look at the price because elfette has so much damned gold it doesnt matter
>still make him give me a military discount though
>lmao
>elfette is bouncing up and down, hugs me as soon as she sees me
>boomer_stares.run
>elfette cmon people are staring
>crestfallen
>her ears actually droop
>'o-oh, i guess you dont wanna be seen hugging an elf huh... sorry user'
>fuck.
>fuckfuckfuck
>ah cmere
>hug her and wrap my arm around her shoulder
>she nuzzles into my side and blushes
>go find orcbro
>fighting goblins for jerky
>help him get his jerky, kicked out of gunshow
>w/e elfette got her gun
>orcbro says he has a date qith his sister, wishes us good night
>elfette stays at my place, we LARP American GIs with her M1s
Come to find out orcbro nabbed me some jerky from his tussle with the goblins
You have it good with your innawoods totally-not-girlfriend. I'd kill for what you have. At least the dwarves are bringing back the local economy by reopening the coal mines and starting six gorillion new smithy shops.
No, I hate faggot redditor deviantart trash taking advantage of the retarded SJW degenerate cuck jannies and using this board as their personal porn dump.
This board is for WEAPONS, not your faggot knife ear nigger fantasies. KYS. I may have come here in 2015, but I have a far better concept of this board.
>This window will close in 3 seconds...
Learn to cope with the Jow Forumsulture you fucking queer. Having weird fantasies like this and LARPing innawoods is half the fun.
seeStory revolves around bonding over guns.
i use the magic to turn 556 into an actually good combat round
Truth
My partner is a tactical witch
Buff Orc Amazons are hot as fuck you commie basedboy cuck.
You know we used to have a thread just like this a few months back before mods started deleting it because faggots spammed thread after thread instead of spreading it out.
This nigga knows what's up.
>>How long ago did the merge occur?
Let's say 1-2 years, enough for people to settle in, yet tensions are still high
>>Do the fantasy races have their own nations or are they squatting?
Squatting as all land on Earth is already claimed
>>Have any of them adopted human culture or do they cling to theirs?
Good question.
>>What sort of magic are we dealing with? Is it something anyone can utilize or is it specific?
I was under the assumption this was D&D-style magic.
>mfw where I live is on the edge of something the locals call "The Deadlands"
What's a good anti-undead weapon Jow Forums? I've got a Ruger Security-9 (inb4 >9mm) and a couple Fudd bolt-actions but most of it doesn't really do the job as well as it could. The town has a wall now and that's helped a lot but there's still some flying shit that comes around sometimes and every now and again something will manage to climb through the barbed wire. I see bigger stuff off in the distance sometimes but it doesn't seem to want to come too close to the edge of where all the plants die.
There's some urgency to this question.
More elffette stories please
>the comfy/cute is through the charts
See if you can find a cleric to bless your weapons or teach you turn undead, or learn to use fire-based magic, buy incendiary rounds, or just shell out hardcore and buy a magic weapon.
Make a couple of Molotov’s with your left over jars/bottle and lob them over on occasion. That should help out with the ones getting through.
>bonus points if you can get a priest to bless the Molotov’s
Questions, assuming total war were to break out.
1. How does their armor work, is it just like real medieval armor or does it use magic™? Because I'm thinking green tip 5.56 might be handy to keep on hand.
2. Assuming there are now dragons and shit, are they boss tier where they can take many missiles before going down like a video game or something?
3. Have the fantasy niggers learned to use guns yet?
4. Can we use magic on guns? I want an infinite ammo Stoner 63.
5. Do the fantasy niggers have overwhelming numbers?
If only you knew what type of Jow Forumsube blessed shit we're coming up with boi. Pic somewhat related...
Anyone wanna parachute into the Northern Orc Forests with me? These orcs have been ruining our crops for long enough. We can look for elf pussy after.
Let's fucking go m8.
Answers (if I can remember) from what was established in last thread.
>1. How does their armor work, is it just like real medieval armor or does it use magic™? Because I'm thinking green tip 5.56 might be handy to keep on hand.
That wasn't established, but I'd assume knife ears, dwarves and orcs would figure out the merits of body armor real quick, nevermind fantasy armor. Magical armor is a possibility.
>2. Assuming there are now dragons and shit, are they boss tier where they can take many missiles before going down like a video game or something?
It was established by a few Anons that, while dragon scales may be able to hold up against arrows and swords, it probably wouldn't hold against modern SAM.
>3. Have the fantasy niggers learned to use guns yet?
Maybe, depends on the individual.
>4. Can we use magic on guns? I want an infinite ammo Stoner 63.
Elves make stupidly elaborate and fragile guns, but make up for this by enchanting them, so yes.
>5. Do the fantasy niggers have overwhelming numbers?
Depends on the tribe and region; there seems to be feral and "civil" orcs.
Thanks bros. Too poor to buy magic kit unfortunately but I called my parish priest and apparently he's already learned and he's been blessing weapons for the militia, and he agreed to do mine too. I'd probably do magic too but the only magic users around here for the most part are degenerates trying to take advantage of the local climate to make necro shit easier and clerics trying to root them out. I'm not operator enough for that shit.
Does this mean I can finally fulfill my dream of being duck taped to a jet and one shotting dragons with my enchanted FUDDY FHIVE with it's superior stopping power of a napalm strike?
don't know about that, the anons talking SAM were talking about sabot and HEAT missiles, from an SPAA designed for aircraft and tanks.
ADATS is what was mentioned specifically.
tfw even in a fantasy world with magic your retarded ideas still won't work.
Can I at least make my FUDDY FHIVE shoot SAMs?
You could also talk to the monks. Ki is a form of magic energy found in all living things. You could go full Goku on some undead ass.
Just how fucked up is Orc hunting as a job?
Literally every single Orc hunter I've met is absolutely fucking insane, dudes disappear in to those no-go tribal lands looking normal at first, then they come back a few months later absolutely torn to shit, wearing entire suits made out of orc scalps. Thousand yard stare doesn't even begin to describe that fucking gaze, like they got the eyes of death himself.
Tribal orcs do some pretty fucked up shit. I hear THE PROVING is a real mess in and of itself- and then they fuck their sisters.
Sure, can't take that from you user.
If Napalm can hit with an equivalent energy to a SAM missile it may still work; just make sure the dragon is an Ice dragon or not resistant to fire; 5.56 rounds also have more pen than arrows, so there's that.
KILL. ALL. ORCS. No chances, no survivors, they are scum. You need to burn their """villages""" to be sure. They try to bum rush you. Sounds easy, just shoot anyone that tries to karate chop your ass right? OK but now there is fucking 200 of them. You run out of ammo and your body armor is torn to shit. Also they try to eat you.
Time to save up and find me the most skilled mage. If it's a fucking elf I'm going to need to sell my kidney though. Fucking long ears.
Me nigga
>I may have come here in 2015, but I have a far better concept of this board.
Every other board has been ruined by actually applying some of the shittier global rules. So fuck off.
Guys, lets just give a bunch of guns to the dark elf tribals, they absolutely fucking hate orcs, we'd basically start a genocide without even having to fire a shot.
>Let's say 1-2 years, enough for people to settle in, yet tensions are still high
I don't know if that's enough time for all the races to settle in. Ten years seems more appropriate if you don't want the merge to affect anything historical.
>I was under the assumption this was D&D-style magic.
Makes sense. Anyone can do magic, but it takes time and dedication to get it right and build yourself up.
Dark Elves are hedonistic savages. They'll sooner point those guns at us and force us into sex slavery than help us fight Orcs.
Is the joke that’s what the west tried to do in the Middle East?
TFW you realize sand niggers are just the dark elves of our world.
>Just replace ash with sand and Arabs are basically Dunmer
Shieeet
Incoming bros, keep the thread churnin
>take elfette out to go hiking
>shes losing her mind, excited to go out in nature, asks id we can turn it into a camping trip
>fuck it why not
>spend a weekend out there
>shooting funs and bullshitting, peeking at her cute elf butt when shes not looking and jerking off in shame for my race traitor ways
>anyways
>3 mile hike in, elfette decides to do that weird tree jumping shit they do
>im just humpin the ruck like a mortal
>eventually we get to a nice spot on a ridge, set up camp
>she goes out to set up traps, cradling her FR F2
>my AR goes innatent while i get the pot and ingredients ready
>hear giggling
>elvish giggling
>O FUG-
>blunt arrow hits me in the ass
>THE FUCK YOU TREE HUMPER
>shes rolling on the ground laughing
>'aah ive nabbed the evil human who dares attack my forest!'
>compliment her on not shooting the cookin pot this time
>get another arrow shot at me for the trouble
>dick
>she sprints at me and tries to tackle me
>lmao elfweight
>literally just runs into my chest and stops
>'youre SUPPOSED to go down user!'
>fine ill play along
>oh noooo the elven maiden has defeated me in battle
>'the BEAUTIFUL elven maiden user'
>wut
>ok, the beautiful, wonderous, kind and sexy elven maiden has defeated me with her charm and grace
>[elvish blushing]
>elves do not understand sarcasm
>'y-you think im graceful?'
>uh sure, arent most elves?
>deflates a bit at this but perks up
>'hah! G-guess thats why elves do it better huh?'
>lmao sure
>she sits down and pulls the rabbits out of her pack, whispers a prayer of thanks and hands them to me
>'be grateful the forest has given us these gifts ano-OH SPIRITS YOURE BUTCHERING THEM!'
>skin and dress the rabbits, shes shaken as i guess usually they use magic spells for that
>whoops
>throw them in the pot and comfort her
>peter cottontail you will be remembered
>'hey sorry elfette, i forget sometimes how you guys do things'
1/?
Also might be a while, gotta drive
I thought the Dunmer had more of an East Asian influence.
>be middle schooler
>quiet qt3.14 elf, in restrospect, hangs around me in all our classes
>too retarded to realize feels
> ffw next year
>no classes together, never speak
>tfw lost elf gf/waifu
Dunmer draw most heavily from India, particularly Hinduism, with a few dashes of East Asia, the middle east, and Kirkbrides cocaine fueled ravings mixed in.
These stories and these threads make life worth living. It's fun to imagine about this stuff.
same tb h
God bless these. They need to be saved in the WFG pastebin
>Not writefagging and driving
This fucking guy...
We'll be here waiting for part 16 user; keep 'em coming
>'i-its fine user, ishould get used to how you cook anyway...'
>wut
>she looks ready to cry
>'i-im sorry user! I read about the cupid myth you have and i thought it was cute and there was this spell...'
>suddenly elfette is gorgeous
>not just pretty
>gorgeous
>i know only two things
>the AR platform is superior to the AK
>and i love elfette
>she is my wind and my air
>'.....and we have to find orcbro to reverse this... user? You ok?'
>nod my head dumbly
>o
>fug
>this bitch love spelled my ass
>the fug
>desperate packing of our gear
>there is no way im making it out without jumping her cute little bones
>resistance slipping
>i want to breed the elf
>tell her we need to hurry up
>'ok user i need to do something... close your eyes...'
>anything bby ily
>*click*
>slave collar is back
>should be pissed but i like it
>alot
>alot alot
>elfette is panicking and ties my leash to a tree, leaves my AR and sprints into the forest to find signal for her mind messages
>2 hours later comes back, says orcbro is on his way with a traditional orc ward that disrupts spells
>ok bby
>she sits down and laments how its all her fault
>she sits too close
>target aquired
>send it
>poince and grab her, pinning her to the ground
>her eyes make me stop
>shes afraid. Theres arousal in there but she is definalty afraid of human rape
>my body demands the elf
>replace lewd thoughte of elf breeding with wholesome thoughts of elf cuddling
>itll hold for now
>gently kiss her, her eyes widen in shock as her ears buzz
>eventually she relaxes and wholesome make out ensues
>light over the clothes action
>lets get that out onto a tray
>nice
>willpower is at max, cuddles and kisses for hours
>rustling in the woods
>skinwalker_take_me.exe
>elfette is moaning into the kiss and smiling
>orcbro bursts through the treeline, carrying what looks like massive beets
>'oh shit user i didn't know you were rutting, ill come back'
>NO
>'oh you need me to hold her down for you? I got you man'
2/???
>>'oh you need me to hold her down for you? I got you man'
Orcbro makes my fucking day for the third time.
>>orcbro bursts through the treeline, carrying what looks like massive beets
>>'oh shit user i didn't know you were rutting, ill come back'
>>NO
>>'oh you need me to hold her down for you? I got you man'
Fucking orcbro is hilarious
May the Jow Forumsube bless you with many gats and no jams.
>AR platform better then AK
>He thinks it's wrong
>fucking orcs
>Elfette loses her shit and sputters, crawls away
>no bby come back
>you taste like pine and raspberries
>explains the situatuon to orcbro
>so... you were rutting him?
>i mean i can hold hik down while you rut him i guess
>[elvish facepalm]
>FIX ANONS SPELL
>o yea
>ok user this is a traditional root of my people, itll bring you out of the spell
>w/e just give me perfect elf grill
>he boils the beets
>ealls up to me muttering prayers in orcish
>proceeds to beat me with the beets until my face is bruised and covered in root mush
>pisses on me
>suddenly love is gone
>a desire for cooked boar and to raid is slightly present though
>Ha! It worked! I thought youd die
>elfette is fuming but happy we fixed it
>orcbro decides to join us
>have competitions, elfette wins, i come in second with my AR
>orcbro refuses to use anything less than 12 guage so he doesn't hit
>still has fun shootimg clays
>even if the clays are live rabbits
>[elvish curshing]
Id be honored user, id like to keep this going
More incoming anons, gotta help g-ma for about an hour move stuff in the garage. Keep the theead movin
Idea: What if a Jow Forumsommando or Jow Forumsommandos got dropped into a fantasy world? I'm imagining a combo of DOOM, Army of Darkness, and Goblin Slayer. But with like 69% more gats.
Or GATE but with 10000000% more elf-rape.
Got all the parts capped so far in .png format, as well as the original thread up to it being archived.
Forgot pics or didn't happen
I got you man. Saving all of these in a doc so I can send the to Polybus to archive if you want
Will we finally get ammo fairies to hand us grenades when we need em?
just leave. Nothing but garrison forces should be there.
>Jow Forumsommando's get dropping in the middle of orc tribal lands
>By the time they throw together a rudamentary town they call "Cordon" one of the most powerful tribes sends a raiding party
>Despite superior weaponry, the Jow Forumsommandos still survive only by the skin of their teeth
>Reputation of the Jow Forumsommandos spreads to the entire world, how only a few hundred men managed to kill thousands of orc warriors in a single day
>Jow Forumsommandos become the single most sought after mercenaries there are, their guns pretty much seen as holy objects by the locals
>Likes guns that shit where they eat
Long stroke gas pistons are the end all be all for conventional layout assault and battle rifles. FN FNC is the most modern incarnation of it.
>but muh weight
less than half a pound.
>but muh accuracy
There is no difference. None, from shot to shot, absolutely none, since in single shot, you are readjusting your aim every time anyways, or just rapidly pulling the trigger. Autofire? What, you aren't trying to cover an area with it?
Nothing is worth a gun that will, guaranteed, jam up within 5,000 rounds. It will always jam up by then, because of carbon build up.
>But muh cleaning
Every rifle can be cleaned
>but muh regular maintenance replacement parts
Fuck off.
Ww2 exploding ammo for your nugget
If you've got the stones staying in places like that can be pretty lucrative. There's always someone who'll pay big bucks for stuff taken out of them.
>tfw I wanna be a skinwalker so I can do spooky shit around the office
Thanks user, id like that. Typing up another as we speak
No problem! Always gotta help out the good writers here on Jow Forums.
Dump the images for the newfags
>I may have come here in 2015
Opinion discarded
I can’t count how many chances I’ve lost due to my ignorance and later fear of rejection
I'll work on getting a link or something, but I'd like to wait until the man is done posting for the complete thing
Or as near to it as we can get
So hypothetically, if someone found an enchanted elfbow during an orc hunt is there a requirement to try to return it to its former owner's family or does it fall into the plunder laws and can be kept?
Me and some Bros are gonna go innawoods. What should we do to make friends with the knife ears? I hear they like human tea, but I'm not so sure.
>elfette wants to make her traditional dish
>homesick or some shit idk
>me and orcbro chilling, elfette making food and singing elf songs in the kitchen
>'boooooys! Who wants the finest elf cuisine!'
>orcbro wordlessly gets up and walks out
>just straight up leaves, no explanation
>dick
>elfette rounds the corner in an apron that says 'kiss the ears!' And a picture of elf ears
>'user and orcbr-oh! Well more for you user!'
>o fug
>fuuuuuug
>go to the dining room
>elf feast is laid out
>human middle sized meal
>salad of wild tyme and berries
>rabbit cooked on one side
>salt piled on the plate apart from the dish
>mashed berries and roots in a bowl
>random assortment of rabbit organs on a platter for the thankfulness ritual
>elfette is beaming
>t-thanks elfette it looks.... it looks like food
>'well.... try it!'
>o-okay
>sit down
>shes staring
>her elven eyes staring into my soul
>be strong user
>be strong
>bite into the rabbit
>its cold
>it twitches
>elfette smiles
>'.... well... do you like it?'
>literally choking down vomit
>[painful nodding]
>oh! We almosr forgot the ritual! Its important to be thankful for our natural world for providing our life!'
>i cant
>i fucking cannot do this
>as she spreads the rabbit intestines on my plate i vomit
>all over the fucking plate
>even her elvish culture knows this is a sign of disgust
>'a-user... i thought.. oh user im so sorry!'
>no its ok elfette just... just give me a minute
>i need water
>she gives me water, looking crestfallen and defeated
>fuck
>elfette look im sorry but i think some things between elves and humans just dont quite mix
>she looks devestated
>'b-but you LOVE elves! LOVE THEM! y-you cant get enough of me-US! OF US!'
>'elves... i thought you wanted elves in your life user...'
>the fuck
>elfette i love you ya little forest running shit. But the differences are what makes it fun between us
>'y-you love me? YOU LOVE ME user?'
>uh sure elfe-
>massive slap
>THE FUG
Never befriend an elf, never.
Oh sure they'll pretend to be all friendly at first but the moment you let your guard down there goes your scalp.
Tea works but make sure it's at least looseleaf, apparently they can really taste the paper and will make them laugh at you more for not being able to taste it.
Honestly bros no idea when/if ill be done, might be a thing i pop in and keep going so feel free to dump/post
>'user!!! We havent even made love under the blood moon after our first kill!!! Y-you cant say such... l-lewd things!!!'
>'y-you may as well have rubbed my ears... softly... s-sensualy.... with your fingers twisting the tip just a bit...'
>[elvish panting]
>wut
>explain thats not how humans see it when we say we love eachother like that
>and elfette the ear thing was a little detailed man
>she blushes
>'o-oh...'
>laugh and hug her
>[elvish muttering]
>elfette how about i make you a human meal?
>'o-oh! Okay user!'
>make her spaghetti and meatballs
>she seems extremely eager to try it
>first bite her pupils dilate
>she shoves as much pasta in her tiny elf mouth as she can
>elfette calm down ma-
>murder in her eyes
>o-okay
>now demands i make her spaghetti every time shes over. Even if its just for half an hour
Apparently elves dont normally cook their food or season it. Take them to a burger joint and theyll legit orgasm
I hear Otis Liam going by the name of...zeppelin?... Zeppelee? Ah, I don’t know. Any ways, I hear this guy is teaching a form of Kung-fu that uses sunlight magic to melt vampires.
GODDAMN THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER-COASTER
>Apparently elves dont normally cook their food or season it. Take them to a burger joint and theyll legit orgasm
Can confirm. Something about processed foods making their sensitive senses go haywire. Keep them away sugary foods, knife ears still can't understand the concept of a 'sugar high'.
Alrighty then, here's what I got so far
Make sure you guys can actually get at it.
HELP
An orc tribe just set up only a couple miles outside of town and the military says they won't do anything until they "show hostile intent" (aka, after they kill us all).
What the fuck am I supposed to do, there's gotta be a few hundred of those fuckers no doubt getting ready to just fucking rush us and butcher all of us and there's only so much one guy with a battle rifle can do against a charging horde of orcs. You ever see a charging orc Jow Forums? They can go at least 30mph and can shrug off one or two rounds of 7.62x51 like it's fucking nothing, takes at least five rounds to put one down. Trust me, I had a run in with one while innawoods once, thankfully he didn't notice me until I already put three rounds in its back. Whole fucking raiding party though? I'm fucked.
Different user, I have a typed version out that also includes this thread and the last. Will update whenever new chapters come out.
docs.google.com