If you had to live in NYC for a month, what would you use to defend yourself?

Stay in my apartment for the entire month with a wooden ball bat. I'll probably get arrested though, because they wouldn't consider the bat "environmentally friendly (fabricated statement)".

I’ve lived in NYC for 19 years, you just have to not stand out as someone worth mugging

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>I'm not old enough to buy a handgun

Okay. Good to know.

>Brooklyn “BBQ”
Jews really do fucking destroy everything they touch don’t they? What a bunch of cultural fucking wogs.

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Anyone have that story about the dude that drove in from out of state to visit his GF in NY but they got into a fight and broke up so she called the cops on him and told them about the handgun he had in his glove box and they arrested him and was sentenced to 20 years?

Legally*
Doesn’t stop me from taking a visit to jamal’s Coke den and grabbing a glock for half the market price.

As an european, I can relate to that

wow user you sure know a lot about barbeque i know who house im going to during the meat apocalypse :D

Why does Jamal sell to you under market? Do you give him sexual favors?

It's a jimenez brand .22lr glock

It's okay, the amount of money you'd need to pay me to visit new york would pay for a bodyguard

The meat is actually wonderfully tender and not loaded down with sauces and spices to cover up the taste of the meat.

you're mom

I live in Brookyn and what the fuck is this.

women need to hang

They are worse than niggers

Too bad they only give you 3 bites of it and cook it to hell.

I would take a glock 40 with purple bullets
But then again, I am a sick bastard that gets off to paralyzing people

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The food of your (((people)))

>brooklyn "barbecue"
>few measly slices brisket that look dry as fuck
>two kosher pickles
>two fucking hawaiian rolls
>no corn bread
>no sausage
>no sauces
>no slaw
>no pulled pork
>no smoked turkey breast
>no attempt to load the tray down with food
>was probably prepared by some hipster who wouldn't know what good barbecue look like if it smacked him in the cock like
I really wish hipsters would stop LARPing as Southerners. I visited my sister who lives in NYC recently and hopped the bridge to Brooklyn one night. All I saw were slack jawed faggots wearing flannel and shiny boots saying "y'all" like they were the salt of the earth. It's just pathetic.

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>and not loaded down with sauces and spices to cover up the taste of the meat.
But that's the entire point of barbecue. It's garbage meat that needs to be tastified.

If it makes you feel any better, shitlib journos are getting laid off like crazy. They will have to learn to code

You forgot the beans made with all the drippings of everything and all the little left over meat scraps and trimmings chopped up and thrown in
And they coulda just used white bread and been better off
Picrelated is what we use around here

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Willing to bet all of that is easily at least $30.
I didn’t see anything of the sort when I was up there lately, but that is probably because I was there to see a Broadway show a day or so before New Years with my mother. Spent the entire night just walking around Brooklyn and Times Square, had some hispanic dude call me the terminator, guess it was because of my jacket and blank stare.
Doubt they could make ends meet regardless for the pennies they make doing that stupid shit.

glock 19

>what would you use to defend yourself
A nuke. Its the only way to fix New York.

I can already hear the hipsters now

>OMG they serve it on a tray with butcher paper
>so rustic and authentic
>this place is legit, best locally sourced urban microfarm grown organic antibiotic free BBQ there is

>getting worked up about what the liberals in your headcanon might say

fucking sad

I've met several of those types during my urban escapades in DC and NYC, I can assure you'll they'll fuck that up too. There is a reason they advocate for socialism, they suck so hard at managing their own lives so the government could do a better job.

True, we can add fried okra and mac and cheese while we're at it. White bread or corn bread are the only appropriate options.

I went into a few bars with some buddies of mine. Beer was good and the band was great, but holy fuck the people were obnoxious. Rooms full of previously described hipsters, couple wealthy asian dudes throwing money around, air headed girls that can't hold a conversation if you tried. I told one girl I was hitting on I live in Georgia and she immediately asked if I own any guns. You can probably figure out how that went. Might as well have told her I'm the devil.

Daily reminder to never stick your pecker inside a crazy bitch, let alone even talk to them.

I have a friend in Montana that has a medium sized ranch. How much would NYC customers pay for "directly sourced sustainable organic family grown microfarmed aged certified black Angus?"

No user, they are the devil

If it becomes the trendy, exclusive thing to do, there is no limit

I went to a bbq place when I was hiking the AT in Georgia, brought out a bag of white bread and asked how much we wanted, it was beautiful.

They also provided KJV bibles for mealtime prayers. Place was great.

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And that's why I clean toilets for a living. Because these whiny shitstains took over the white collar industry in my area and purged everyone who didn't agree with them. I'd rather not deal with their drama, no matter how much you pay me.

but what will you do if they've stacked poison immunity or worse have a charm of freedom of movement?

>this place is legit, best locally sourced urban microfarm grown organic antibiotic free BBQ there is
This isn't an issue. Mutilating a brisket and calling it barbecue without the decency to hand out some sauce is an affront to God.

A fuckload depending on the restaurant and if the logistics make sense. Many people in large cities eat the "rustic" marketing up like you wouldn't believe. Remember, the buisness owners market to their clientele and are generally more shrewd and level headed than their clientele. The clientele on the other hand are gullible as shit and will pay an absurd ammount of money for food and drinks.

Not him, but I agree. Why do you think there are no more rhinos in Vietnam (no joke)?

Someone should tell them this is cultural appropriation.

Nigger that shit just paralyzes you
JUST. PARALYZES.
PERIOD.

Then we balkanize and create our own enclave, complete with border walls and helicopters

>I clean toilets for a living because the shitlibs won't hire me

Because you're a retard.

A knife or a gun.
My answer doesn't change just because a city is run by fags.

Because Asian weenies are weak and anything that might make them powerful is gobbled faster than pizza at Planet Fitness on Mondays

You jest, but now I want to get a shitton of grants and hipsters to volunteer to help me start an urban microfarm only to plop down a cow and have it stink up the block, just so I can counter every attempt at them shutting me down by pointing to their documented prior support.

fashionablecanes.com/91910.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrLDKtPyO4AIVmFYNCh01mwb4EAQYAyABEgJtEPD_BwE

Remember to get a top hat for you Irish potato masher

>brooklyn """"BBQ""""
>that pathetic attempt at barbecue
You stupid fucking yankees have taken it too far this time.

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Not him, but I am a NEET (planning to do Uber) because I dont want to be exploited by a bunch of shitlibs

I've heard of purple bullets and snapcaps in general but paralyzing people? Can someone explain?

And its somehow better than smoking quality meat for 12 hours only to slather it ins sweet baby ray's, ya inbred mountain shitdick?

Suppose that is the difference then, I just went to some Italian restaurant. Great place, packed but great food and we got a nice little corner table and lots of food, pretty expensive though.

You haven’t heard of purple bullets then

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I have heard of people talking about purple bullets, I've seen pictures of purple bullets but never have I ever heard of them paralysing people. Now if you would be so kind, explain what these purple munitions do to paralyze people.

what kind of backwards heretical cult needs a bible to say their prayers?

>not knowing about dry rub
>not making your own sauce
What kind of window-licking retard are you?

On the contrary. Retarded people point fingers. Smart people always look for the bigger picture of things.

Southern hospitality and an accent. Yankees are terrified of me. If I'm wearing a country hat then I make eye contact with everyone and shoot my finger pistols at everyone that smiles back. Women, children, old men in suits, Jews, blacks, greasy Italians; they're all scared to completely look away from me but keep a safe 15 foot distance. If more than 2 blacks are congregated I shoot them a shit-eating "I've lynched people" grin and slap the closest one on the shoulder. "Hawdy Partna!" They either say what's up, nod, or shrink away because they think I'm on the way to a gay club. I do not get followed. Occasionally I do a 180, walk backwards for a second, and say "HOOO-EEEY" just to make sure people aren't starring at my backside. They don't ask themselves "if" I have a gun, they think "how many?" and "oh god I don't know what fighting words are to this lunatic, act casual." One person called me Boss Hog through the other side of a gate and I winked at them.

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Pepper spray

Every time I see that picture it pisses me off. So I guess the answer would be Brooklyn BBQ

Black face paint

Let me spoon feed u user
youtu.be/w0RuqLBQyG8

Asp baton when out and about, 12 ga shockwave when at home.

>The meat is actually wonderfully devoid of flavor and tastes like kosher sandwich meat

>Praying

You're already retarded, just go full retard.

Thanks daddy
>here comes the aeroplane
>wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>uh oh, I missed the baby's mouth
>shit, some raghead sandniggers took control
>right into the twin towers

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Nothing.

I lived in Manhattan for a year and Brooklyn for two. It's statistically one of the safest cities in the nation.

Much more dystopian police state where the rich live in a glittering theme park for adults and the poor work 60 hours a week, commute on trains that break down once every other trip, and do it all just to afford a 6 by 7 foot room where they sit in the box and watch Netflix for their 3 hours of lesiure a day.

But shit, I grew up in one of the top ten most dangerous cities and I never had a gun living there. It's called don't be a retard.

I swear some people are the biggest pussies. They need a gun just to get gas in a shitty neighborhood. Like, live a little bro, there is plenty of dangerous shit you do out of convenience. When I climb I don't rope up for an easy scramble, carrying a gun to walk down a street is the same thing.

>Remember, O LORD, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem; who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
>O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
>Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
>Amen

>cheap meat
>dry as hell
>tender

This unironically.

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>t.oni

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meat apocalypse
people coming to your house
>This reminds me of when I watched spirited away, during the part where the dad was munching on a sack with sauce on it. What if someone created a human meat trafficking business. Boneless back ribs would be a top hit. Also, nudity would be the norm. Get it? I don't even like nudity, I just acknowledge how retarded proposed fantasies are. God I hate custard shitskins and their fucking mouths, I gotta go crack a cider open with their teeth as a bottle opener, and trace the face so I can make more epic jannyvspepe memes
XD he switched the quotes le meme chevrons around get it gedditors?!?!
>I kill trannies for fun, and I kicked a smug pregnant until it's face mouth inverted and strobed, causing it to squirt barbecue sauce out it's cunt. Watch your mouth.
>Any other words?
>Picture related is my ego-stroking redux of worthless garbage. If I'm going to be reduced by pain to childlike and undesirable waste producing activities, I'm going to be so passionate, that I get a visit from the FBI.
>And they're gonna be nice to me, or else their faggot heads are gonna get domed by fat pad fucking boomers who I have hypnotized into believing Hillary's president, so they actually fucking do something about authoritarian dicktators instead of cucking out.
>Fuck you

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I liked that part where god commanded Moses to genocide two different tribes then steal all the lolis for summary rape. Except for 32 lolis, who were then "given" to god, aka sacrificed
I wonder why that was left out of Sunday School

high powered lawyer

i cant wait till the bridges get dropped and all you useless nigger loving faggots eat each other

Most of the time. Central TX tradition is based off of rich german immigrants showing off that they could buy so much beef, and that the beef was smoked so well no sauce was necessary. Contrast to the poverty BBQ tradition in other parts of the state & outside the state where the cooking method made shitty meat edible, and the excellent taste was a welcome side benefit.

On the other hand, I doubt these jabronis know or care about the nuance of regional BBQ variations, and are following some youtube recipe and selling it to other new york assholes for premium prices.

Based

you citidiots and absolutely insufferable faggots

based

I'd pay to see that. Watch them on TV looting a Starbucks or music store.

>that moment I remember on Jow Forums someone said you shouldn’t need spices and if you do it’s cause your food tastes bad

NYC is heavily monitored as are forum posts relating to it.

FYI.

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This is how mental illnes looks like

A copy of the United States Constitution.
Holy Writ such as that burns those fucking chuds to ash on sight alone.

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Nothing. NYC is safer than Disneyland.

That's what we keep hearing, all right...

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Here's an idea:
Stay in your subhuman city and build a giant wall around it so nothing can get in or out. Never leave the city. Subsist on dead rats and dogs if you want meat so bad.

>that photo
WHAT ARE THESE. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKING IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND CUZ I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW WEIRD THEY ARE

pussy faggot jew yorkers better march on the capital open carrying.
if not they deserve it

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thats what they call bbq WOW brooklyn can get the fuck out along with commiefornia.
>to defend myself
>i would use
>a glock 17
>full auto conversion
>and carry a switchblade

>If you had to live in NYC for a month, what would you use to defend yourself?
ftfy