What's the best way to repel a SWAT assault? I'm holed up somewhere and need to know rn...

Strip down and start masturbating furiously, when they breach you maintain eye contact to dominate them.

He isnt at your family Thanksgiving dinner

I like this, hope you have a gas mask handy

His loss

Literally this. Ill be there in 20 as soon as you post. Unless you're a nigger. Fuck niggerers

SWAT here, thank for the tip. Hope you have a gas mask.

Like this:
youtube.com/watch?v=jQvDn9MEtNo&list=PL1pIyuM4OttPjhtXhq0XUGgn1fzEQcRTX&t=45s&index=2

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Im a cop, but this was satisfying.

Just start blasting around a corner after they breach

OP here
Ive already starting blasting hundreds of rounds through the windows and pre cut fireholes nothing has happened also far.

>combat zone

I swear to god swat teams are pussies

where you at OP were gonna see you on the news soon or its a hoax

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This- fill the house with gas and then set it on fire. you're gonna die anyway, take these bastards out with you.

>around a corner
You can shoot through walls you know

>You can shoot through walls you know
Especially american McWalls

Dragon dildos

Too much drugs bro

>What's the best way to repel a SWAT assault?
Rule of law.

Install a bunch of discrete surveillance cameras, use your superior situational awareness to shoot them through your walls.

Dragon dildos and a 55 gallon drum of cum lube

they found out about the children huh?

If so, its surgery time..
Make an incision sideways around the stomach area and plant remote explosives, dont bother sewing it back up, duct tape works just fine.

release the children as hostages to buy time, about 15 minutes after release detonate.

explosive lolis, gets em everytime.

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>How do I inflict maximum casualties?
The most efficient way is to intercept them while they're are in their vehicle.

An iphone and an army of brainwashed twitter followers.

This is WE needs cum on scent gun laws.

Based

You sick fuck.

This might actually work.

so he stole a sweetroll and those dumbfucks bust down his door.... how smart, other places you just get snatched on the move is safer for everyone involved

The real answer is to barricade yourself and have your friends attack the cordon they establish from the outside. No one wants to hear this because it interferes with their one-man-army Rambo power muh guns fantasy,

>this also requires friends

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When they bust down your door, start shouting about how asuka is best girl. They will be immediately repelled by your shit taste.

Full auto at a door way. And tell them you have bomb but escape through an underground passageway.

Follow them from police hq’s or police ranges to where they live... house fire and gun fire at 3am

use some trickery or recorded noises to make them think you're in the basement. Fill the basement with Carbon Monoxide gas.

Hide upstairs.

they'll mostly be dead by the time the space is cleared.

hold your breath, go downstairs, kit up, and come back upstairs.

"I have a machine gun & body armor now."

>europoor balistics

Sand bag fortified fighting positions I would guess?

>viagra
>grease
>strip
>meth

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aim for the head, place home made or explosives in a perimeter around your pos, good luck larp or not

I wanted to fuck the women in that movie so bad, even as an 8 year old

one way in, one way out but they are gonna grenade you so i think rambo style forest guerilla fight would be swat team's nightmare unless they just snipe you

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>op is in middle of coke binge and just randomly shooting from his hut into the forest all alone

that is some podesta tier shit right there

get a bunch of cups and other simular containers, fill them half way up with bleach, down a case of water and piss it all out to fill the containers to the brim, spread around property and house
godspeed lad

IED's + being looooong gone before they get there. Anything else is last stand shit.

Your only chance at living and not going to jail is to run. Sometimes they don't have great containment around the perimeter. It's either run, go to jail, or die/get paralyzed at this point.

Yeah have fun shooting the front shield man. There literally won't be an opening for a shot other than the ankles and you're not going to incapacitate anyone with that. You'll just knick someone and end up getting bombarded with rounds and killed/paralyzed.

Just fucking sprint for your life. Strip butt ass naked too so they have no justification to shoot and don't want to touch you. Covering yourself in feces is also an option to deter them touching you.

I speak from experience

t. Have rubbed shit all over myself

Funny these guys train over and over and over for this shit and it failed them. I can only laugh at all you LARPer's who have similar fantasy's!

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This is literally the only way to maybe win but has them set off in a chain. The door goes then the walkway then the road bomb you buried 4 weeks prior

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fpbp

Kek!

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Head
Neck
Groin
Upper thigh

Shoot through the walls on the sides of your door, they wont stand front center. If you can get to a elevated position that would be good too.

There is no best way. If, by some miracle, you manage to frustrate and even incapacitate a fully equipped SWAT Team, you will just have the National Guard come in with greater numbers to push your shit in. You are not Master Chief, your best bet is to avoid having the SWAT come to plug up your ass in the first place

head shots are for video games. Use light, smoke, and sound. If there's more than 2, evade and fight another day

he right you know

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If I wanted to fuck with a swat team I'd have a cell phone in a room speaker to mic with another cell phone while I was 200 miles away as we negotiated

deflect their bullets by swinging your dick in a helicopter fashion while clip dumping your nugget raifu

Just have a few of these really to throw at an intruder.

The SWAT team might just just burn your house down instead.

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Side bonus:any women nearby will be impressed.

>get Alexa
>command set “alexa home intruder”
>actions: play recording, turn on light
>recording: “you don’t have to do this, leave now and you can go home to your families and see your children.”
>the light is a photoeye sensor about knee level in the wall in front of the door
>hook it to a relay timer set 30 seconds
>hundreds of pounds of explosives detonate

>gas mask
This won't save you from suffocation

If SWAT is en route already, you can run and that's about it.

If you had months/years to plan and execute, you could hold them off long enough to run, but that's about it unless you were looking to become an hero anyway.

That... is not completely retarded.

Nice work, user.