My brother caught me sniffing his dog's ass and might be throwing me out tomorrow morning. Let me back up and give you the full story.
Recently, I've fallen on tough times after losing my job and girlfriend of 4 years. My brother let me crash at his place while I get back on my feet. He's my eldest brother, so he's been married 7 years and has two of the sweetest little girls you could ask for (my nieces). So I've been staying with them for a year and a half now and everything has been going great.
Anyways, his wife has been a "dog-person" all her life and my brother finally let her bring a dog into the house when they had their youngest (we never had pets growing up). To my credit, I wasn't comfortable with the dog when I moved in and asked them to get rid of it. Apparently that was out of the question. If I wanted to stay, I had to deal with it. So, I did. The more I was around the dog, the more I grew affectionate towards it. Maybe golden retrievers are just friendly, or maybe he just took a liking to me from the start. In any circumstance, the dog quickly swapped my sister in-law for me as its new favorite master. Being around the house while they work allows me to take the dog for walks and spoil him with treats all day.
The trouble started one such morning in which my brother had adventured on a business trip and my sister-in-law had driven my nieces to school as is her custom on weekdays. Having not a room for myself in their abode, I, having obtained the blessings from my dear hosts, fashioned my sleeping chamber within the living room upon my first arrival. It is by which during these mornings I frequently dress and ready myself within these chambers, this being of no grand concern as I assume the role of sole human inhabitant of the manor upon their departure. It was in conducting such activity that the beast, my playfellow of many months, had caused a distraction that ceased my activities and unwittingly bound me to my misfortunes and woe.
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Jow Forums humor
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So I'm standing there butt ass naked when this fuckin dog come up to me and starts sniffing my ass like we've never fuckin met before. And I'm thinking to myself what in the fuck is this fuckin dog doing sniffing my fuckin ass? Well Fido is having the time of his life but I can't even get my pants off the ground without this dog's snout tappin my tooter. And you know what, I say fuck it and get down on all fours and start sniffing this dog's ass. I mean we're friends ain't we? I'm going in circles with this fuckin thing laughing my ass off dying laughin. So we make a little game outta this any chance we get. Who'd-a thunk I'd be sittin on my fuckin brother's couch for a year and a half crawlin around on the floor naked, sniffin a dog's ass? But I mean hey, that's life.
So I mean, yous guys know where this is going. I got pinched. Whaddya want me to say? They went out for ice cream tonight and my fuckin idiot brother forgets his fuckin wallet. I'm doing circles naked on the floor sniffing his dog's ass like some kinda jerkoff and he kicks me right in the ass before I even know he's back. He wants me fuckin gone. Hey I mean, whaddya gonna do? We'll see tomorrow I guess.
Post some Jow Forums humor in the meantime to help cheer me up.
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you're just hoping i say something funny so you can post all this on reddit
nigger
Why is Jow Forums the strangest fucking gayest board on Jow Forums?
/thread
>My 2015/16 garbage memes are still floating around here
Please stop
where is this pic from?