I want to fuck an F35 so much
help me Jow Forums
I want to fuck an F35 so much
Angel Rodriguez
Brandon Butler
F22 has two holes
Lucas Kelly
but they're flat and weird
and I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky
I like 'em round, with something, something
They like my sound, they think I'm funky
William Myers
>he doesnt know about the hidden extra hole in the F-35b
Robert Foster
Fuck off Moto Moto
Brody Brooks
I just want to rub my cock and balls on its windshield after is been sitting in the sun for a while so the windshield is warm. I want to hump it until I cum and my cum rolls down its sleek clean surface
Oliver Cruz
that would probably void the warranty, be kind to the tax payer.
Cooper Morris
>wanting to fuck this whale
Whew lad
And I bet you think the F-16 is ugly
Hunter Adams
It's too late user, just embrace your planefucking fetish like the rest of us have. Just imagine rubbing your cock allover her sexy serrated thrust vectoring nozzle after a flight when it's still a little hot, or running your hands over her glossy smooth wings. Imagine looking straight through her like it's an Xray hentai to see all of the battle data she's dutifully collecting for you so you can ask another cute plane several miles away to shoot a missile at some towelheads. Imagine straddling her 25mm gun while it fires and feeling the vibrations rattle every bone in your body.
I M A G I N E
Ayden Cooper
the F 16 is old and busted
the F 35 is the hot teenager doing it for the money
Logan Watson
Only after she charges you $1.5 trillion
Noah Sanchez
why am I alive in a time where I can't VR fuck a fighter jet
time to make my dream a reality
Justin Perry
rumor is there's a jet draft in NAVAIR
Eli Ramirez
>whale
But nobody posted X-32 here
Jace Lopez
Delet this she's cute.
Matthew Taylor
F-35 is anorectic in comparison
Angel Stewart
Isn't it all worth it though?
Grayson Barnes
cancel the budget
Jonathan Russell
childhood is the skinny skank whore f-16, adulthood is the mommy tier curved f-35
Zachary Long
1990:
>You: 'I want to fuck a plane'
>Everyone: 'Straighten yourself up faggot'
2019:
>You: 'I want to fuck a plane'
>Everyone: 'Here is a link to the forum and some porn'
Fug
Sebastian Gonzalez
F-15X is the Stacey of the skies.
Easton Edwards
the future is now, old man.
Jaxson Watson
No need to. The F-35 program fucks itself up, and I bet your life is already fucked up.
Jackson Wilson
f-15x is stacy at age 50 having been cummed inside by millions of foreign men and covered in 1,500lbs of makeup to hide this fact.
Jason Smith
Cougars are the best
Luke Adams
no, the real stacy is the F-22
>fit and formed
>air superiority that everyone wants a piece of
>tight holes, internally stored weapons like a loving mother would
Adam Peterson
Fap-in-Whitney dominates that PAWG, little GE waits in the cuck shed for roasties that have hit the wall.
James Clark
how does my planefu compare?
>those intakes
hnnng
Landon Murphy
russian pilots look like sanitary workers sent to clean out portable bathrooms
Sebastian Richardson
>only two holes
Adrian Morales
I M A G I N E
Hunter Morris
Cutie
Brody Edwards
I make the outer cases at work.
Oliver Russell
Wasp user here.
Pic related.
I ran the storeroom (and mountain space) for them. So...I guess you could say I've seen every part of it before it was even inside it. Sexy? Or creepy? Hmm....
Brody Russell
ITT: Yall either need Jesus, or to speak to a mechanic.
*sucks air through intake*
he cute
Jace Baker
JF-17 combines the best bits of the F-16 & F-18 with the MiG-21 on the cheap, looks okay doing it
Anthony Torres
Cameron Peterson
>no rockets
Brayden King
I once licked an f-35 right near its stbd intake that was on static display at an air show, barely anyone noticed, worth it.
Easton Campbell
I also licked a Hornet, MiG-21, and an F-111, but that was years ago
Robert Turner
storytime?
Leo Sanders
Put me in the screencap
Charles Ramirez
>be me
>at an airshow with other Jow Forumsommandos
>we decide to walk around and look at the static displays
>see MiG-21 next to an f-4 Fantom on display with ladders leading into the cockpits
>"just $2 and you can sit in the MiG, $20 to sit in the Fantom"
I Guess Communism decided to work for once
>sit in MiG because it was the end of the day and I was running out of cash
Prettycool.veg
Whatisrearvisibility.ogg
>get out and regroup with Jow Forumsommandos over at the Fantom
>someone says "I wonder how the paint stays on at mach 1.5"
>another one replies "they probably have some special heat resistant paint"
>new to the group so I decide to out chad all of them and I chime up
>"lemme find out for you guys"
>walk up close to the MiG on the opposite side to where the ladder and people are, pretending to just be looking around
>friends are confused and ask me what I'm doing
>"answering life's greatest questions"
>look around for staff, none spotted
Missionisago.bzg
>give the fuselage right in front of the wing a big lick
>turn around to see the stunned faces of 4 Jow Forumsommandos and call out to them
>"tastes like regular paint to me"
>apparently the tour lady on the ladder heard me and gave us a weird look
>nope our way out of there
>tfw I am now the weird licking guy in the group
>tfw I am chad
>tfw these guys now try to make me lick every fighter we get up close to and ask me how they taste.
Every other story is pretty similar except for the F-35, I had to use my friends around me to block the line of sight and be pretty sneaky for that one.
Jonathan Morris
How many types of cancer has this hobby given you so far?
Also what did they taste like?
Kayden Harris
greetings from /aceg/, you're our new mascot.
Eli Murphy
>and ask me how they taste
And you're not going to share?
Anthony Gutierrez
Did it taste like salty milk and coins?
Liam Bailey
Each aircraft had it's own slightly different taste, the MiG was pretty dusty from the weather but mostly tasted like old (hopefully not leaded) paint.
The Hornet was slightly more metallic and felt really cold, I guess because they have a bit of RAM applied to them.
The F-111 tasted like shit (though I did lick it right under the elevator, just forward of the engines)
And the F-35 tasted like ass, literal ass, apparently asshole tastes like coins and that's the vibe I was getting, but it also had a mix of other indescribable tastes, all while somehow leaving a dryish powdery feeling on my tounge kinda like flour, even though it didn't actually leave anything in my mouth.
Kevin Ward
It's an honor.
John Gutierrez
reminds me of that one time some guy from Jow Forums actually asked a girl to fart on his face and he threw up, despite being a braapfag himself
Joseph Miller
>apparently asshole tastes like coins
can confirm, rimjob fanatic here.
>the F-35 is literally rimjob flavored
no fucking way I'm licking one right fucking now
Nathan Lewis
Stealth aircraft have special anti-radiation coating on them, which means you're probably radioactive as fuck or have a really fucked up tongue right now
Robert Flores
That probably explains the weird feeling.
Asher Wilson
First the gun fucker now the plane licker, never change Jow Forums
Dominic Thompson
Nigga you gonna die
Ryder Reyes
It's just some kid making shit up about how cuhraaazy he is for attention.
Michael Hall
I don't believe you got close enough to an F-35 to lick it.
Robert Rivera
a magical place
Lincoln Bailey
put me in the screencap
Dominic Myers
F-35 Crewchief for USAF here AMA
John Bennett
but a dog in the fighter jet
Austin Gomez
You degenerates who sexualize everything under the sun need to be burned at the stake.
Zachary Smith
Most static displays at the airshows I go to allow you to get as close as you'd like, licking them is just a matter of waiting until none of the ground crew are looking.
Logan Miller
you are on Jow Forums, you realize that right?
William Robinson
Radar is not radiation in the way youre thinking.
Levi Ross
That ain't no whale, lad. That bird is T O N E D.
Owen Gomez
hnggggg the rippling muscly tummy
FUUUUUUUUUUCK
Leo Hill
Never change, Jow Forums.
Jackson Garcia
...
Andrew Scott
>t. African hippo
Charles Perry
>not wanting to fuck an f35
pretty gay desu desu
Kayden Jenkins
All F-35 displays are roped off nigger
Lincoln Cox
shit even the F-15E at oceana last year was roped off
Jackson Bailey
this one was too, but about half the length of fencing was within touching distance of the plane and so were basically just there to stop people from going under the aircrafts.
Owen Kelly
Basically you could reach anything forward of the wings.
Alexander Jenkins
this thread makes me want to inhale a bottle of mustard
Adam Bailey
She's all mine...
Jaxon Stewart
Implessive
Nathan Scott
I guess so since no one will wanna take it from you.
Jason Hill
Ian Moore
Bullshit on all counts.
Also, I just showed this thread to my coworkers at the factory and they are laughing at you cringey faggots. Also, OP, how does it feel to know I've had my hands inside every one that's come down the line over the last two years? Touching all of their internals? Knowing you'll never get to do the same?
Gabriel Morales
actualization period is realizing that the F/A 18 was always best girl
Ryan Richardson
>he shares Jow Forums threads at work
>b-but only the people who made them have ever touched them... r-right guys?
how does working in a factory make user's story untrue?
William Ortiz
what does it taste like I wanna second opinion
Samuel Moore
I am VERY jealous. What were the prerequisites in applying for it? I'm a /m/echanical engineer and aeronautics get me rock solid
Kayden Richardson
This was great but you have not layed your tongue on the 35, no way. They don't let civilians up close because you could feel your way into the grit size of the radar absorbing coating. A kid raised on his father shoulders touched the underwing as it was taxiing and it made the fucking news.
Jesus Christ you're fucking retarded
Wyatt Davis
Do you work at the 61st, 62nd, or 63rd? :^)
Zachary Walker
doubt.png
even the fucking f22 was parked 30yds. away from the civiie barriers at oceana, with 2 armed guards between the crown and the plane.
Jordan Walker
Source? I couldn't find the article, but either way a child managing to touch any jet while it's running, let alone fucking taxiing sounds pretty newsworthy to me.
Also I'm pretty sure these days just using a good camera with a good zoom would be more than enough to capture grit size if someone really wanted to.
Camden Miller
Here, even Googled it for you
Nicholas Green
I guess that shows how possible it is for civvies and autists to touch it.
Adam Allen
Because he has this retarded idea that different airplanes have different "flavors" and said "flavors" are memes.
Jace Brown
This, radar does not equal gamma/xray/neutron radiation.
Asher Morales
Ew. keep it
Colton Ortiz
>Dat sexy contoured belly
Brehs....what the fuck is wrong with me
Brody Lewis
What airshow
Brandon Gonzalez
Some Jow Forums drawfag needs to draw flight highschool's F-35chan with a nice toned belly
Christian Martinez
I saw that thing in the museum, it's ENORMOUS
Ayden Hughes
I'd turn her FWD MASTER LATCH if you know what I mean.
Lucas Ross
I've farted on F-35s more times than I can count.