How can I get military training without actually joining the military?

how can I get military training without actually joining the military?

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Pay exorbitant fees for civilian training that you'll never use.

You can't.

Download a bunch of Sexual Harrasment and Equal Opportunity powerpoints and spend about 6 hours a day going through them with a smoke break every hour

This guy gets it. Computer based training on not raping people. All day everyday

join militia

Don't forget PCMSing the same faults on the same vehicles because the mechanics will literally never do their job and fix it.

And who could forget all the mopping.

Get a gas mask and haze yourself in a parking lot at 0200 hours.

While hungover, or still drunk. The choice is yours.

I still remember the first PT test I ever took while still drunk. It was below freezing outside because it was mid winter but I felt great thanks to the vodka. I killed it on the run.

It's amazing how you can IMMEDIATELY tell who's actually served in these threads.

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just join the military if you want to do military shit

Also hire a bunch of Mexicans to stand around and be useless while you do.

Just do a lot of sweeping and vacuuming. Also attempt to find soap for a mop bucket

More like stand on the second floor and watch the romands get hazed. I swear, these guys are the Mexicans of Switzerland.

Join a reservist organisation and do voluntary training? Start SRA/Practical and do training (courses)? Compete with vets?

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This, how could I forget PMCSing shit

Take all the shit in your room and lay it out in the driveway and end up never having it be inspected but delayed till the next day when you do the exact same thing.

I will provide OP and all anons in this thread some free military training.

OP
Get a canteen and fill it full of water.
Do not, under any circumstances, introduce the orange flavor drink mix from your MRE in the water.
Warriors do not drink koolaid,
Stand at the end of your bunk and yell,
PREPARE TO HYDRATE.
The yell
HYDRATE.
Drink all of the water in your canteen
Suck on canteen to make sure no water remains, because Marines don’t waste water,
After Hydrating turn the canteen upside down to see if any water drips out.
If no water drips out then you are done.
If water drips from your canteen, refill the canteen and repeat

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You never find the soap, just start by going to the supply people, submitting a request, getting it signed by the hazmat people, then wait a while, about the time you get new orders and are ready to PCS the floor can actually be moped with soap for the first time in forever.

This real lol

>Get friends to check up on you randomly at all hours of the day and night somewhere between twice a week and once every two months then drive in to work to be mustered and proved alive. (simulates the POG life with stupid recall tests)
>whenever you realize you need something put it on a list and then put that list in a drawer and have a coworker ask you every day why you haven't gotten the stuff yet, then three months later go get, but get the wrong size, or wrong variety, or whatever for at least 5% of the items (simulates the supply chain)
>Go shoot a few targets once every year or so with a horribly maintained weapon that is prone to malfunctioning (simulates all POG weapons training)
>Go to a meeting room once a month, stand at attention for 30minutes then sit down and watch a bunch of power point presentations including ones about how not to burn your house down while cooking (simulates monthly training and awards)
>at least once a month show up at work with a rifle around 0500 and stand at the gate checking everyone's ID keep doing this until 1700, do not leave the gate until relief arrives, for maximum realism stay there until at least 2000 to simulate your relief doing the stupid and getting into a wreck or getting told by an officer to go do something other than relive you.
>Navy edition set alarms to go off at random while you sleep at least once a week, then wake up and count everyone in the house to make sure they are accounted for, also go grab a fire extinguisher and LARP putting out a fire in your dryer because Seaman Timmy didn't get the lint out of it before using it.

Realize you would have more fun, and be way better off just going to the range every week, and if you have land maybe run some high speed drills.

I havn't seen that one, and those are Type3 uniforms which are fairly new, so if it was a thing I probably would have been yelled at to get it by now, so my hunch is that it was a joke someone slipped into a real training, probably SAPR, or Sexual health.

PMC groups offer pre boot camp training and I’m sure there are vet run classes that can get you the rest.

prEPARE to hydrate ay sir

>30 second to hydrate
>six pack
>down
>up
>down up
>down....

No shit, I know a guy who graduated Army basic training and AIT and then chaptered out by simply saying he didn't want to be there anymore. He's even eligible to reenlist.

You are correct
I forgot that part.
But tell the truth, did you put drink mix in your canteen?

Fuck that I would always just have the privates snatch soap from A Co

10 hours straight of Call of Duty every day after PT.

Finding soap part fucking killed me man. Especially since when supply had soap I'd sign for it and it would be gone within 2 days, look a like no more soap for a month

>join military
>pass basic
>smoke crack
>??????
>profit