Makeshift Environmental Weapons

based and redpilled

I appreciate you

Play football quarterback with a durian. If it breaks open, they smell like rotting meat, so you win either way.

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uma delicia

youtube.com/watch?v=T8XeDvKqI4E

If its a proper grocery store, vault my sorry self into the deli or butcher section, all kinds of sharp objects and probably some nasty imported sausage that's harder than 50 dicks

open a can of something and you got a very sharp object

This. The only knife worth using in a chain grocers is the knife the butcher brought from home

How much time do you have? A Molotov cocktail is a trip to the liquor department away.

What the hell is going on in your .webm?

ironically, jugs of milk with handles on them seems to have some application. You can cause an instant slipping harzard. I don't know how well do the containers hold up when you swing or throw it at people, it's a stunning face full of liquid when it breaks, a plain heavy object when it doesn't.

I think it might be what zoomers do when they're not eating tide pods.

Only retards bring their good knives from home. Commercial knives are sharpened weekly. Smart guys stash a freshly sharp one so nobody else can fuck it up when they aren't around until the new batch comes in.

If you're going for slippy clown time fun, those big jugs and cans of vegetable and olive oil are going to be hilarious
Bonus points if you manage to set it on fire too

Go to alcohol section, find long necked bottle and break wide end.

Bleach and ammonia cleaners, just open and pour all the bottles out onto the floor and cause a shit panic Since usually dish cleaner and laundry sauce is in the same isle, just pour those chemicals on the floor too. Grab a full bottle of CLR and just give them the good ol' London Broil.

Beer bottles. You can use it as a shitty club, you can chuck 'em at people, and you can break 'em for the glass.

Grocery store chemical war!

Based grocery war wmd

This is the perfect provision.

>can be thrown (projectile weapon)
>can be sharpened into a knife
>can likely stop a small caliber bullet (many can be made into a bulletproof vest or salmon suit)
>can be thawed out and eaten when starving in survival situations

Invest now, don't say you weren't warned.

youtu.be/FXK1RSk1kR
Assault beans, obviously

>I don't know how well do the containers hold up when you swing or throw it at people

I've dropped gallons of milk on the ground by accident. they tend to explode on impact. they're not that strong really

>That webm

But why?

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The serious answer is a broomstick.

Buy a broom, remove the 'broom' bit and make the cable into a spear.

Why are kids so fucking stupid these days?

fpbp

Nobody beats the fuck out of them for doing dumb shit like this. Our generation is a problem too, we let foreign entities take over our society and cuck us beyond recognition with no retaliation whatsoever. Who the fuck is more despicable?

>Who the fuck is more despicable?
Definitely the kids smashing gallons of milk in super markets.

Sosgi

Spray can of Pam and a bbq lighter.

first, go to the kitchen aisle, and find jay clothes (pic related), then proceed to the alcohol aisle, and find sambuca, or any other flammable drink.
now, you have molotovs.

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If they've got a tool/auto/garden section, head there for sweet tools with handles if there's any left. Brooms and whatnot in the cleaning supplies isle could also work but some are made of flimsy hollow material.

Just recently saw a Macgyver episode featuring something like this....

youtube.com/watch?v=Ll58JVJYMuw

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Probably alcohol, matches, and rags if you aren't worried about collateral damage

BBQ section has some long knives, make a spear

Fire extingushers are located around the store for convenient use in an emergency.

>his grocery store doesn't sell guns

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Go to the back and get the pallet jack. Run those motherfuckers over.

>t.grocery store lifer

Also we keep hammers and shit on hand for repairing stuff. Locks and chains, knives, the produce and meat knives are great for stabby stabby.

Our store keeps bleach and ammonia on opposite ends of the aisle, however the Comet bleach powder is directly above the ammonia cleaner at our store. Always got a laugh out of that.

They're basically an unguided munition
>I swear my 3 year old can reach 50mph in a time that would shame a supercar, take your eyes off them for a split second and wham, just fucking gone!

Attached: ow my balls.gif (488x259, 402K)

all that wasted fucking milk

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Toilet bowl rust remover is acid.
Strong acid.
If you want to go farther get a glass bottle and combine the works and aluminum foil.

Enjoy your grenade that will go off in 10 seconds.

I thought all people on Jow Forums were suppose to be loners with an unhealthy obsession with anime tiddy.
Im just pulling your leg Dad user. You planning on taking him to the range when he gets old enough?

Trust me on this, people were stupid then, there just wasn't that many cameras.