Forces of the unknown have caused our world to merge/combine with a typical (or not-so-typical) fantasy world...

Where are the writefags?

writting as we speak

YEEEEEEEE

pastebin.com/gbGGdPSm
>i carefully put the galil back in a duffle bag
>i put up a mental note to check if i can jury rig a better safety mechanism
>onto the rest of the booty
>a styer scout in it's classic gray furniture
>it has a fancy big scope with a long eye relief distance
>i know next to nothing about long scoped but this one is more mysterious than ususal
>it has no markings, no indicators of manufacturing nor are the dials labeled
>i looked through it, it has a mil-dot pattern reticle but no other indicators either
>courious
>the rest of the rifle is fine, it's a scout, i've handled them before but now that i ""own"" this one maybe i can get into long distance shooting
>i open it's integrated bipod and i stand it on my coffee table
>i see the stubby case on the ground next to the duffle bag
>it's siren call tugging at my attention
>fuck it
>the rest of the weapons can wait
>i grab the case and set it on my lap
>i overdramaticaly open it
>glorious piece of wood-and-iron-based german engineering
>if it wasn't for the fact that i've learned to control myself my dick would have propelled the case through the roof
>i lift this entrancing artifact from it's resting place
>i get lost in it's details
>it's almost like it's telling me to worship it
>yes
>YES
>this is MINE
>MY wa2000
>I looted it
>I got to it first
>FUCK YOU DAKO, PIECE OF SHIT, I GOT TO IT FIRST
>ME
>IT BELONGS TO ME
>MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
>i gasp as i come back to my sences
>feel like i was suffocating
>beging to breath heavily
>what in the mother of all fucks was that?
>fucking hell man i think this loot is doing some sick shit to me
>hope it's not cursed and that is just me being retarded
>fucking hell

>mfw the reason that wa2000 was locked up was because it would turn its wielder berserk

Attached: 1547624326868m.jpg (573x1024, 58K)

i better fucking don't user

Outfit
-80s bdus and a vest with no plate
-balaclava and M40 gas mask
-ukraine riot police arm and leg gear
-couple of pouch on the lower back
-a leg holster and a canteen for another leg
Gear
9mm browning hi power
galil no modding

>tfw new neighbors are anti gun Japanese kobolds

Attached: 035DD945-DF42-42E2-8D76-48933AF51945.jpg (391x500, 48K)

>not sedating a few gobbos and dropping them on their doorstep in the middle of the night
you bring shame to the Jow Forumsube, user

>not raping them like nanjing
sad bro

>kobold: kill and hang on wall
>japanese kobold: rape and display for public use

I'm sorry harpy-san, I didn't mean it like that TT-TT

Rape is the ultimate problem solver. You know what must be done.

sell them to slavers, japanese kobolds sell for good money and are very sought after, both characteristics are due to their natural sexual capabilities

>i don't know for how long i was out but it doesn't seem like it was that much
>i noticed that the rifle and case are no longer over me
>the case is on the floor and the rifle is on the coffee table with it's bipod deployed
>the spas and scout are on the floor beside the table
>like if they were pushed out
>god damn
>i thought to myself as i picked everything up and put it back on the bags except for the wa2000
>i leave it standing on my coffee table as i put everything away
>my stomach growls loudly as im closing the zipper on a duffle bag
>suddenly feel like im startving
>i hear a few knocks on my door, no calls, no signals, just knocking
>the fuck? i wasn't expecting visitors
>the knocking intensifies
>oh shit negger, it must be the atf, they must have intercepted my brain signals when i was thinking about the converted galil
>i open the duffle bag again looking for something i can conceal at the door
>the most concealable weapon inside is the golden deagle brand deagle
>fuck
>[knocking intensifies]
>i pull out the magazine
>empty
>i pull the slide back
>nothing in the chamber
>[KNOCKING INTENSIFIES]
>i look through the bag
>there are 2 magazines full of .50 ae
>fuck yeah
>put one in and chamber the gun
>put the other sticking out of my pocket for access
>walk to the door with deagle hiden begind my back
>this thing is uncomfortable and heavy, no wonder it sells only on it's niche cartrige

>haunted guns
Giest time?

They already made GATE

not retarded enough, will fix that with the power of paracosm and copious amounts of autism

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE HARPY MAD?

Bold of you to assume I’m not planning that

>yell as I toss the flaming red flare
>’Harper! Fire at the marker!’
>flare lands several feet away from my intended target
>fuck
>should have just had Drowbro throw it
>LiveAndLearn.Jpg
>road flare smokes for several seconds
>hear a loud, excited chirp
>*poomf* *poomf* *poomf*
>three grenades fly in succession at the marker
>tfw the clearing is lit up by black fire and pink shrapnel
>tfw all the trees and orks begin to burn with a black flame
>that stuff is terrifying
>the screams of the burning are horrible
>the smell of the rotting pinkish sludge is disgusting and sweet
>smells like rotten sugar
>thank the Jow Forumsube the ork back in the canyon didn’t hit me with any of that
>that’s a fucked way to die
>continue firing at the now panicking orks
>rounds aren’t even coming close anymore
>light up another flare and tell Drowbro to toss it into the tree line
>he throws the flare and it sails thought he air in a straight line
>only stops as it plugs up the barrel of a beat up SKS
>...
>fucking Drowbro
>second later the Harpy chirps loudly and flys over
>*poomf*^3
>brilliant magical explosions rip through the treeline
>FortunateSon.mp3
>now I know what the boys in ‘nam probably felt like when they saw the napalm get dropped
>I have a new appreciation for fire support now
>it’s beautiful
>Jow Forumsube be praised

Attached: F00314B9-08AC-4CEE-9AE4-E7880A65B08F.jpg (1024x576, 82K)

Found this little gem in one of the first threads.

>Be me
>Portal guard for USA
>At war with nation specialized in healing magic
>Hippies say tanks are unnatural and angering mother Gaia
>Laugh at them until we fight
>Enemy soldiers heal themselves constantly
>Shoot off limb? It grows back
>Blow their head off? New one grows back
>Slice the bastards in half?
>Now there's two of them
>Higher ups decide to say screw it one day and hire some science fags to mess them up
>Send Green Berets into their camp
>They steal a chunk of meat from every enemy soldier and return
>FF few days
>QT egg head gives me a tranq rifle with a bunch of darts
>Explicitly tells us to shoot them then haul ass
>Shrug and say OK while hiding boner
>Battle comes and shoot random elf nigger
>Bastard laughs for a moment, takes the dart out, then starts screaming when the wound expands
>FF 30 seconds and elf twink is a 40 foot tall lump of infinitely growing meat
>Enemy army is also transformed like this
>Entire battlefield is now lovecraftian
>One guy got an elf in the titty, now she has a super rack
Apparently, the syringes were full of cancerous cells, and they kept dividing thanks to healing magic. Next month we're hiring some necromancers to harvest the meat and see if we can make a meat golem or something from this

>Next month we're hiring some necromancers to harvest the meat and see if we can make a meat golem or something from this
i see no way that could possibly go wrong

How are these shit ass fantasy threads allowed to hit bump limit? Scroll through this thread and the last one. They're nothing but /tg/ larp and ERP. Weapons and militaria are not even mentioned in most posts. They are literally more off-topic than stormfag and tranny discord political shitflinging threads. Mods seriously need to start doing their jobs and pruning this crap since it's pushing relevant content off the board.

Armor depends on what kinds of fantasy critters start roaming about. Im definitely gonna try to nail me some elf pussy though.

Attached: 1538071809034m.jpg (1024x734, 152K)

>there’s a sudden, awful silence
>it’s only accented by the snapping and crackling of fire
>the fights over
>we won
>...
>I FEEL GREAT
>it’s like that after gym euphoria
>completely stomping underprepared foes with overwhelming firepower is amazing
>just what the doctor ordered
>a loud cooing gets closer
>Harpy slams into the ground next to me
>she’s panting hard and has a shot eating grin on her face
>”Jesus Fucking Christ that was amazing! God damn it feels good to be in a proper fucking fight again.”
>this was a proper fight?
>(X)Doubt.Jpg
>Roland is already going around stabbing the bodies
>the skinwalker is whispering to Drowbro
>he smiles at her
>”alright, go ahead! Get one for me as well.”
>she happily giggles and runs off
>...
>I am afraid
>the Harpy looks terrified
>we go and distract ourselves from whatever is happening by looting the ork bodies near the fallen tree
>well, whatever’s left of them anyways
>all that’s left of those hit in the “air strike” is just pinkish sludge with pieces of gear floating in it
>salvage a bunch of knives and beat up guns
>SKS’s, ARs, glocks, Remington 1100s
>it will all fetch a decent price if we can sell it
>which means the Harpy is happy that we have more loot to show off
>HappyHarpyNoises.Mp3
>Jow Forumsube be praised

I wish I knew the context of this picture.

Rolling, rolling....

All you can here are the rumbles in the sand....

The desert trembles with fear...

They come

Attached: tomi-vaisanen-carrier-lowangle-left.png (1920x857, 2.14M)

Honestly, if a carrier is hard to command, a rolling carrier would be a logistical nightmare
It would also require a more powerful energy source and additional maintenance crew

Reenactors just having some fun, most likely.

(Group of local Jow Forumsonscripts assault a fortified ork armored position. The ensuing fight would be a deciding factor in the Jow Forumsubist Ork war, with the Jow Forumsommando forced pushing back the greenskins to the other side of the portal. Colorized, circa -DATE REDACTED-)

There's a video about this by nerdist, pretty cool. But of course this is fantasy so majicks fix everything

how many years would we need to wait to have the necessary technology to make this viable?

At least three.

I was thinking about finding some Goblin tribe and becoming their warlord. Don't have much experience working with Goblins though. Anyone got any advice before I get my hands dirty?

Attached: __original_drawn_by_madjian__c26888d935cc1ceb354a2f3523e1606c.jpg (800x1135, 246K)

oh shit, you're alive
i thought those kids would leave nothing out of you but bones

I thought so too, but some little Ivan bitch boy complained that I made fun of the russians and got me fired. Either way, I'm here now. And that means UPDATES.

Are there any cool stories about operator elf girls?

>we gather up the guns and take them back to the truck
>which means I carry them all as the Harpy talks about how great she did
>as much as I love her, she’s still a Harpy
>which means she’s lazy whenever she can help it
>carry it back to the truck
>throw them into the bed
>there’s a muffled cry of pain
>NaniTheFuck?
>peak into the trunk
>see a bound and gagged college aged kid wearing a leather jacket
>looks like he pissed himself
>who in the hell is this?
>...
>oh shit, the waifu hunter
>can’t believe I forgot we have a prisoner
>”oh fuck, forgot we had this douchebag with us.”
>she looks at him grumpily
>”fuckers probably hungry and thirsty, but I don’t want to give this shitbag any of our food.”
>feel someone tap me on the back while we contemplate what to do
>turn around and meet an ork face to face
>shitbricks as I scream and try to draw my 1911
>ork backs up waving its hands
>Hear Drowbro begin yelling
>”user! Chill! It’s just the skinwalker!”
>stare at the ork
>it’s skin seems off
>fuck that’s terrifying
>Look over to Drowbro
>he’s wearing the baggy skin of a dead ork
>it fits him less well than the skinwalkers
>AbsolutelyDisgusting.Jpg
>hear the Harpy gag and barf
>then she begins cooing
>”fuck yeah, that’s what we’ll feed him.”
>please don’t say vomit
>I have standards
>”Come on user, lets get some of that fucking sludge shit.”
>the sludge?
>from the dead bodies?
>Jow Forumsube help me
Does this technically count as a war crime? Is the fantasy equivalent of the UN going to eat my ass?

There was a story a while back about a bunker buster and an Irish elf who stumbled upon a nazi elf coven. Not sure if anyone has the link.

it may be in the sticky

This is the potato squad Irish elf operator QT.
pastebin.com/hXFymEgt

Here

>Does this technically count as a war crime?
nothing is a crime if you don't get caught

>tfw no minotaur heavy line infantry armed with upscaled swiss vetterli

Attached: 1479835938229.jpg (579x819, 97K)

Hi Drowbro.

6/10
would need to much material to create fatigues and armor for them

don't, they try to butcher you the moment they spot you

Nah, you just gotta beat their asses into submission and then make an example of any who try to betray you.

Attached: x6xchjfxjwv11.png (588x586, 421K)

nice nott art. im actually listening to crit role in another tab rn

>swiss vetterli
A man of culture i see.

You play hunt, dont you?

And it’s a little loud and you should probably go to bed because you have to be up early.

yeah, I do have some advice: don't
those green shits WILL torture and kill you at the first chance they get, unless you're one of those faggots who get off on the idea of that I wouldn't recommend it
with that being said, there are indeed a few ways to exploit gobbos, it's mostly just a matter of making sure they don't outlive their usefulness
not exactly cheap though, you'll have to shell out some dough for the preparations

I didn't men it the way it sounded TT_TT. I meant it as they have nothing to do but slot orcs, so let the wrecking commence.

your gonna end up turning him into some sort of magical bane but if instead of being thrown into a hole he was fed orc sludge

>Fucking nose is broken again
>Fucking robo-dwarves
>Hands are shaky, eyes are blurry, I'm also mildly hungry
>Fuck this job, honestly
>Get up off the floor, give the dwarf a hard kick in the side for good measure.
>Rack shotgun, not sure if I have a shell loaded or not.
>Can hear the sounds of angry pixies outside the window
>Try to blink the tears out of my eyes, still can't see shit.
>Push open the door into the main hallway.
>Can hear the sound of pixies to the left, weird thumping to my right.
>Don't feel like getting lit up by a bunch of meth-powered pixies, so I stumble my way to the right
>Kick open the door, shotgun at the ready
>OHFUCKINGWHY.jpg
>Assaulted by intense industrial techno from inside the room
>There's an elf in a surgical mask leaning over a tiny surgery bed, his instruments buried inside a fairy.
>He looks up, his uncovered face is scarred with modifications, as is his body.
>fleshisweak.png
>As I raise my shotgun, a nail sails into the doorframe, sticking right next to my head.
>Duck behind the door as a volley of high-velocity nails slam into the wall where I just was.
>"Come on out you cunt-faced two-cent dollar general whore!" a small voice cries.
>Fucking pixies.
>I reach for my AN-M14, about to throw it when I remember the fairy on the table.
>Fuck, moral choices, I was never good with those.
>As I ponder the morality of torching an innocent fairy, I can hear angry Dwarf noises and engines revving from downstairs.
>Ulysses' dwarven accent comes out in full as he curses at the offending pixies, "Come on out ye fokkin mongrels! I'll fucking grind your little bodies into this fekkin carpet!"
>Gotta think quick, the elf is going for the window.
>"Hey you fucking Keebler twink, why don't you fight me man-to-man!"
>Silence seeps out from the room.
>"Think you can handle it?"
1. Fuck that shit, toss the 'nade
2. Attempt to shoot him while he's distracted.
3. Fight the elf in traditional hand-to-hand.

Attached: 1544405404911.png (426x439, 165K)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HES BACK

Attached: f8a.jpg (912x317, 88K)

What would be the most ideal choice in artillery for a forward operating platoon?
I think 81mm mortars would be the perfect choice for basically everything...

Attached: bridex04.jpg (650x488, 33K)

Addition: It is likely that the platoon will encounter a large number of Orc forces at some point.

shit, i forgot to take the name of lol

next time you're getting a slavshit strafing cunt

shoot him, no hurt fairy

I havent read this story, need pastebin
Shoot elf, save fairy from being totally fucked up, convince with snacks to become combat robo-fairy companion

But what if whatever you're trying to kill is airborne?

Flak shells can easily tear apart harpies and gargoyles. Might need to get designated AA for Wyverns and the like.

You'll be doing that fairy a favor by offing it

nukem, that fairy is probably already death anyway

i've just realized that what the big one has on it's back is some sort of church or something like that

>NO
>HURT
>FAIRY

FRAG OUT!

she's fucked mate, even if he came out of that gunfight unscathed the fairy is all cut up and shit, might as well give it a mercy kill

This, she's unnecessarily suffering so ending it would be better, besides it's not like user is a magical surgeon that can heal her fast enough to save her

:'(

>"i was born in the orc sludge, molded by it, i didn't see normal food until i was already a man, but by then it was nothing to my but savory"

>i walk up to the door as quiet as can be
>i wait for whoever it is to knock once again
>it does so and i take advantage to look through the peephole before whoever can slam the door again
>i see a familiar black hoodie with an offset white cyrillic text
>it's dako, and by the way he's shaking in place he's getting impatient
>shit i thought he said he was gonna come in the evening
>i turn to my side to see the wa2000 still on the table
>OHSHITNEGRO.jpg
>if he sees it im fucking death
>i try to walk back to hide the rifle
>but as soon as i move my foot i hear muffled from the door
>"hey dickhead, i can see the shadow of your feet under the door, open the fuck up!"
>shit
>shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
>well... as long as he doesn't step inside he probably won't see it
>or atleat i hope he doesn't
>i put the deagle on a stand next to the door
>try to look as calm as possible as i reach for the doorknob
>open the door trying to give a slick glare like i started my day on the right foot
>"hey man, what's up?, how you doing? how's the family?"
>he glares at me, clearly confused "are you okay user?, your eyes are red and watery"
>oh shit they are? didn't even feel so
>i try to think of an excuse but before i can say anything he says "look im here to make the deal, and make it quick, im busy"
>he waits for a reply
>"oh yeah the exchange" i said as i reached for the keys of my rolling piece of scrap
>i step outside of the door with the keys and the garage door controller
>as i close the door i feel something grip my leg
>i look down to see the little harpy chick from yestersay night clinging to my leg
>dako says "oh yeah, she asked me to bring her so she could-"
>the little harpy hushes him and answers "hey, IM gonna tel him ohkay?"
>he nods and keeps quiet
>the little harpy give me the puppy eyes and says "mr user, thank yiu, if yiu hadn forgoten yiur gon yesterday my brother wouln have giben me my fwirst gon"
>aw how cute

That’s fucking cute as hell m80. Love this shit. Keep up the good work.

>she points at her revolver hanging from a thigh holster on her leg
>hopefuly no one is out at this time to see a child open carry a revolver
>is open carry legal here? fuck i should look into this
>anyway, we walk to the front of the garage
>i click the botton and the door begings to rise
>revealing a fucked up old jeep
>yeah it's worse than i remember it
>dako walks up to it and starts to inspect wheels
>he says "the wheels are a bit out of line but it's nothing i can't fix, the suspension looks a bit abused but driveable, now, can you pass me the keys?"
>i do so, dako opens the driver door and pulls the latch the opens the hood
>he gets out and starts to poke around the engine bay
>as he does so i take the chance to ask "um hey, also, why are you here so early?, i thought you said you were gonna come in the evening"
>without turning away from the car he replies "because this is the time of day where everybody is awake and home... unless you go to church which you don't seem like the type to do so"
>i reply "are you sure everybody is awake this early? it's barely gonna be 7 in the morning"
>he turns his head slowly giving me an annoyed glare "it's 20 past 11 retard"
>wat
>i look outside, the sun is shining brightly
>i pull out my phone, it's 11:22
>what
>the
>fuck
>i was out for almost 5 hours
>dake remarks "holy shit user, what were you smoking? weed?!... can i have some?"
>fuck no, even if i had i wouldn't share shit

thanks mate, love your shit too

>Fuck this faggot keebler. He doesn't deserve honorable combat.
>What he deserves is a slug to the skull.
>Whip around into the doorframe again, aim shotgun and fire.
>Slug rips through his throat, decapitating him upon impact.
>Curtains are splattered with oil and blood.
>Feel a triplet of nails impale themselves up my arm.
>Fucking forgot about the fairy with the nail gun.
>Arm is numb and burning, she must have broken the bones.
>This makes me incredibly furious, chuck my shotgun at the fairy.
>THWAP.jpg
>Smear the pixie like a bug on a windshield.
>Getfucked.jpg
>Walk over and grab my shotgun, wipe the pixie off of the side and set it against the main operating table.
>Wait, fuck, the pixie in the middle is still alive.
>Slowly walk over to the pixie on the operating table. I can see the rise and fall of its lungs through its open chest.
>It was a male, right in the process of getting an "upgrade" to his arm as well as his chest.
>I could see his lungs quicken their pace when I leaned over, "Hey, hey, it's alright. You're safe, man."
>He ignores the comfort, "It hurts. It hurts to breathe. Am I going to die? I don't want to die."
>Fucking elf did this shit with the fairies conscious.
>Oughta burn his body after this whole ordeal.
>Don't know what to say to the fairy
>Take his intact arm in my hand, "Hey, buddy, it's going to be alright. Just listen to my voice, okay? You're gonna be fine. You just... gotta relax, man."
>His tiny fairy hand squeezes my finger, "Please don't let me die."
>There's a soft beeping from the life-support machines that were hooked up to the small fairy.
>I hold my hand up, "I'll be right back, I swear."
>Start going through the room, trying my hardest to find what I need.
>Bingo.
>Grab a syringe bottle and a syringe.
>Walk back over to the fairy, "Hey buddy. I'm just going to give you a little something to ease the pain, alright?"
>The fairy gives me a slight nod and I begin the procedure.
>I'm sorry little buddy.

Attached: I+have+a+problem+_17b1f422efbbfebcc986d5b152ee4371.png (136x200, 43K)

>big feels
rip lil forest fren

Attached: pepefeels.jpg (1280x720, 54K)

>me and the boys set up a mortar
>opens fire
>meanwhile in the f a n t a s y land
>none of them have any clue what it is
>must be god
mfw i become god
>

Attached: 5062053b454967e8cdac0d1762ed78c4fbeadafa97980c008abd3eb5f460675d.jpg (231x225, 6K)

what's in the bottle user?
user WHAT'S IN THE BOTTLE?!

Attached: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.png (800x648, 1.15M)

I have a bad feeling about this

Attached: watsinnabox.gif (498x220, 1.12M)

>walk over to the quickly decomposing bodies
>as we go over i talk to her about the idea
>’are you sure you want to feed him the sludge of dead bodies?’
>”that fucker and his douchebag buddies murdered several harpys. He should be happy he's getting fed any shit at all.”
>fair point
>the sludge has become more nasty somehow
>The harpys bends down and pokes at it with a stick
>”yep, thats fucking sludge.”
>She looks to me and points at it
>”alrighty, now get some of that shit.”
>wait
>me?
>lazy harpy
>don't even decide to argue as i fill an old to-go cup from the truck
>once a harpy has decided to be lazy they won't change their mind
>no point in fighting it
>the sludge is weird
>it reminds me of the slime from ghostbuster 2, except a little darker
>AbsolutelyDisgusting.jpg
>fill up the cup and take it over to the truck
>Harpy is chirping with excitement
>get our prisoner up and undo the gag
>’drink this’
>before he can say a word force feed him the slime by pouring it into his mouth
>he gags at the taste
>front of him is covered in the sludge
>he breaths once and then we feed him more of the sludge
>wait a minute
>he looks at as disgusted
>”what the fuck is wrong with you all?!”
>put the gag back on him and toss him back into the truck bed
>it doesn't appear to be poisonous, so that's good
>Drowbro dips his finger into the cup and tries some of it
>NiggaWat
>”wow, it tastes like bubblegum...well, if bubble gum didn't taste like bubblegum and tasted instead like sewage and absolute shit.
>the harpy is too busy laughing, cooing, and saying something alongs the lines of “eat shit” to the prisoner to gag or vomit
>the skinwalker decides to try some as well
>tfw she actually likes it
>tfw she decides to collect more of it
>Jow Forumsube help me

Attached: 72DE4C8B-2C13-41CE-8449-9662E75216B4.jpg (920x834, 113K)

It’s a Jow Forums and /O/ crossover! Multi-board drifting!

>the flavors betray you, because they belong to me.
>i will show you where i have made my home whilst preparing dinner, then i will taste you.
>your gracious pantry greatfully accepted, we will need it.
>oh yes! i was wondering what would break first, your celery, or your crackers!.

>Using my broken arm to steady the bottle, I begin to draw the desired amount
>"So what's your name, friend? My name is user."
>The little fairy looks up, "Wevvin."
>Thankfully there was an IV hooked up to the fairy, which meant I didn't have to stick him with a human-sized needle.
>Take the needle off the syringe and plug it into the IV, "Alright Wevvin, you're gonna feel real tired and really good at the same time."
>Take his small arm in my hand once more, using my unbroken one to push down the plunger.
>"I'm gonna be with you the entire step of the way, alright Wevvin?"
>The fairy nods, "Alright. Thank you..."
>Slowly push the plunger.
>The fairy's breathing is slowing down as I keep pushing.
>His face went from contorted in pain to a peaceful slumber.
>He's gone to a better place than this fuckfest.
>Take out the syringe, and knock the morphine bottle off the counter.
>Take pilot cap off, hold it to my chest for a minute.
>The shrieks of other fairies down below rudely interrupt the moment of silence.
>Grab the shelf with my left arm and tug it off to the side.
>Grab my shotgun and look back at the fairy, "Rest easy, Wevvin."
>Press my right arm firmly against my stomach for support as I descend down the stairs.
>Smells like charred pixie and hairspray down here.
>There's an empty can of hairspray and puddles of fairy spread around the downstairs.
>There's also a lot of fire.
>There's also Ulysses, who is chasing down an RC car with a golf club
>"C'MERE YA FEKKIN FAIRY FUCK, I'M GONNA REENACT BIOSHOCK WITH YE."
>FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE ELF
>Start making my way back upstairs
>Run into the room, snap a quick pic on my phone, run back downstairs
>Ulysses is now shaking the RC car, spilling its passengers over the rug
>"FORE!" THWAP.
>He may be getting a little too into this

>>"FORE!" THWAP.

shit, forgot pic

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rip the homie