Jow Forums Stories

I have yet to see one of these hidden armories but I've heard a local Dairy Queen in my area has just a basement full of fucking gucci guns. keep searchin man

Le Mao user.

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Early Jow Forums memories:
>be little 8-year-old user
>Thanksgiving dinner at grandparents' house
>aunt is trying to sell my mom on some frozen food pyramid scheme
>Grandpa walks into the room with an SKS and yells, "This is what the Gooks were shootin' at us in Viet Nam!"

Also
>be 14
>Scout troop is working on the Rifle Shooting merit badge
>learning about firearm safety
>all the dads in the troop use it as an opportunity to swing their dicks
>they bring in Saigas, tricked out AR's, 10mm Glocks, a really nice Colt 1903, and a bunch of other shit that a 14-year-old would cream himself over
>spend 2 hours fingerfucking guns with my friends
Shit was so cash

I've only got one that I can think of.

>be me, last year
>parents and sister out of town for cousin's wedding
>got to stay home because first job
>anyway
>finally have house to myself for several days
>realize I can engage in maximum overtism
>take dad's Mossberg, clear house
>spend every evening watching generation kill with the mossy snuggled up next to me in the chair
>eat leftover steak for supper
>attempt to sleep with mossy in bed, say fuck that because the bitch is too damn cold
>settle for leaving it next to bed instead
>still haven't finished generation kill yet, tho
>someday

Pic is semi-related. I crafted this in paint a while back, just to visualize what the mossy might look like if I was a criminal and obrezed it without going through the proper channels.

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>full stock
>obrezed
nigr u wat

Im a gun cuddler. If Im 100% alone. I will cuddle the shit out of my rifles.

I'm tired is what I am. I gotta go to fucking bed.

Based.

>Grandpa walks into the room with an SKS and yells, "This is what the Gooks were shootin' at us in Viet Nam!"
Your grandad was fucking awesome

>talking to dad about my recent rifle purchase
>he mentions he used to have a SKS ("or something like that") but sold it
>turns out my dad used to have a small arsenal of pistols and rifles that all got pawned off to pay debts when I was too young to remember it
>remember my dad almost made it through olympic selection in college
>get a little misty eyed thinking about how my dad sold off a bunch of stuff he was passionate about to help our family
>decide to make a point of going shooting every time I visit him

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Wholesome as fuck

Went camping innawoods the other day with a friend, we both slept with our guns

Nice copypasta

You can outrun him, but not his bullets

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shit dude, I'm a minnesotafag and I thought you guys had it good in wisconsin, none of that gay permit to purchase shit

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buy a shockwave my dude

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Good one, but I'm pretty sure everyone has seen it half a million times by now lol

>be me, 8 years old, onna family cattle farm
>grandfather was apparently some high speed Nam vet, but is the most easygoing man ever. 5'8", small, softspoken, and cheery
>watching movies on couch really early in the morning, he steps outside for a smoke, and almost immediately walks back in and grabs his 10/22
>walks outside and shoots a few times
>mfw the dude bodied 4 rats out of his crabapple tree 60 yards away In the dark
"Papaw how did you do that?"
>"Either you shot the gooks before they shot you or you died"
I've also sat at cookouts and watch the mf drop crabapples off of the exact same tree by the stem from the porch.
He's never talked to anyone about his mos or anything in Vietnam, but I've never seen a better shot in my life

Also
>be 2017, innaparamedic clinical
>get phone call that same grandfather is in hospital near the ems base I'm at for heart probs
>go there at 0700 as soon as my shift is over
>he's already had his troponin checked, and they ran a slew of other tests including an xray
>he had 3 rounds in his right shoulder from 1969ish and has told absolutely nobody in our family
>"Oh those? Hell, I forgot about them. "
Dude is an absolute chad

Man I wish I knew more Nam vets

>everybody! shut. the. fuck. up. lemme show y'all this gun here.

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user here’s a red pill for you: women don’t want other people to think that they are sluts, but they all want to BE sluts.
So they say shit on fb/tinder/ig that say “not looking to hook up,” but then they do. Do not listen to them, they don’t even understand themselves.

Similar story
>be me
>13 yr old with family during deer season
>we see buck on hill a ways outs
>Nam get uncle takes out 30-06 and lays it across back of pick up
>squeeze, pew, deer drops
>on the way we step it off and it's just under half a mile
>bullet more or less cut the spine
>when told, Nam uncle just says "yep"
Never did find out if he meant to do that.

Well she actually wanted something but she was also really fucking easy, like easier than a 4-piece puzzle. we only hung out in person 3 times and she still used the L word in the breakup call.

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>"This is what the Gooks were shootin' at us in Viet Nam!"
Audibly kek'd

>be me
>be in highschool Vietnam war class
>class is completely bullshit and the only fun parts are the fact that me and a bunch of guys are loud and biligerent
>teacher is so stupid 20 something girl who is kinda cute, got fired later for smashing some student
>eventually we have these vets come in an talk to us about the war
>first two guys are really lame because they didn't have combat roles and pontificated about how bad war is and other faggy shit
>third guy comes in
>the dude is named Vinny
>Vinny was a doorgunner
Tells the greatest war stories all class, literally everyone is dead silent listening to every detail
>talks about blowing up the forest and smoking and doing drugs and getting with prostitutes
>absolutelegend.jpeg
>some retard kid straight up asks him if he killed anyone
>I mentally facepalm because that's such a cringe question
>"hell ya I killed people, I was a doorgunner hehehe"

Vinny was the best

Based grandpa, chad indeed

How about a rage story? Not a long one tho
>be grandpa
>spend life collecting guns
>tons of vintage hunting rifles(bolt and lever actions)
>tons of handguns(WWII 1911 and an original Colt Python as notable)
>pre ban AKs
>more fun stuff that I don’t remember
>have guns picked out that your going to leave your kids and grandchildren
>die
>your douchebag son swoops in and sells everything to buy pills
>your other kids and grandchildren get nothing
It’s been more than a decade but I’m still SEETHING and I haven’t talked to my uncle since

Most likely.

Oh no niggerman, more fish people are afoot.

>Be my dad
>Mexico, 1970's
>Be on the beach shooting the shit with his buddies after doing innawoods stuff
>A patrol of maritime police (Marines doing policing) checks in on them
>Marine sees my dad's 10/22 in the trucks console
>''Yeah we're gonna have tot ake that sir''
>Dad is seething
>When I ask if he ever got his rifle back he says
>''That faggot probably would end up arresting me if I set foot on the base to get it back, I had another rifle anyways''

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Nam was a fucking crazy time. My grandpa was on a mortar crew, and he told a story of how they were originally radioed to use white phosphorus, but after the shell was loaded, they got orders to switch to high explosive instead. Grandad doesn't want to fuck with switching the shells, aims WP anyway and gives the order to fire, said he could hear the screams of the villagers all the way up to the ridge they were on. From what he says, they never got in trouble.

based

I still like this pasta, gets me every time desu

>son selling historical guns for pills
your grandpa failed.

I'm sorry user. I have druggies in my family too. I had to sneak my grandpas class ring out as well as his old army stuff. Fuck my uncle. That fucker even showed up as my grandfather was sick and said, verbatim,
> "We're all getting equal shares, right?"
Fuck him. Now that I think about it, my grandpa was relatively/k/. He never bought ARs or anything but was full SHALL, explicitly stating that ARs are good despite no ownership. Carried a p38 as well daily for 60 years. Also, I have a quick story about him decking my druggie uncle in his youth.
>Be my grandma
>Be divorced from my grandfather
>Son comes over asking for money
>Tell him no, hes going to spend it all on drugs.
>He doesnt like that
>He takes jewelry and leaves
>You're distraught, so you call your ex husband, Wally.
>Wally shows up and waits with you.
>Son shows up again
>Where the fucks the mo-
>Son gets cut off
>Wally, this 6'4" fucking unit of a man k.o.'d him with one punch
>Drags him outside, says, "Respect your mother" and walks away
I fucking love my grandpa, Jow Forums. He was more of a dad to me than my father. Thanks for reading my blog post

>be me
>just got a good deal on a Ruger Blackhawk
>show it to my grandpa, because he has the Western channel turned on 24/7
>his face darkens
>"I knew a guy in Vietnam who had one of those."
>"He had a big mustache and thought he was John Wayne."
>"They needed me to come in and ID the body, it was messed up so bad."
Sorry Grandpa

Wholesome thing about him too is when we went shooting around last Christmas I found out he was really into milsurp as well. He talked almost nonstop for 40 minutes about how he wished he would've brought back a Chinese ak and an sks he had gotten. I'm gonna surprise him for his birthday in September and give him my unfired sks, and hopefully save up enough to get him a nice norinco mak90 or the like

>Wally, this 6'4" fucking unit of a man k.o.'d him with one punch
>Drags him outside, says, "Respect your mother" and walks away
based

I hate faggots that do that. My shitass cousin pawned off an heirloom MA revolver my great great grandfather carried in wwi, and the old heirloom Richmond muzzleloader that has been passed down since the civil war. Bastard pawned them for dudeweedlmao and shitty basement tattoos when we were in high school

*m1917 revolver, plz forgib phoneposting

it's not murder if they deserve it

Obrez doesn't actually exclusively refer to obrez style mosin pistols even if it's damn near the same. Obrez is the Russian word for sawed off, hood rat connotations included.

>tfw my HS gym teacher broke his legs jumping 4 feet off the ground out of a heli

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Oh no we're pretty cash here. That bill would have been great though. Make no mistake we got it pretty good here

The snow-monkey just wanted to have a snowball fight and some food and you shot at him

>"Hi, Im autistic and people with autism act a bit weird, so they will be the first to be shot in schools"
As they should. Ideally though we should be able to do prenatal screenings for autistic fetuses and abort them.

dubs of truth

It wasnt the absurdity of the claim alone that made me want to jam my thumbs into her eye sockets, it was how seriously everyone took it

>> "We're all getting equal shares, right?"

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detected, prepare to be penetrated

Always been a favorite

Which part of WI do you hail from broski?

Something like this happened to me.
>Be me
>9-10 years old
>Dad sells crate(s?) of 7.62x39 to hole in the wall gun store
>Gets me Heritage Arms .22 revolver
>Fell in love
>Cleaned it methodically every time even a single round went through it
>Polished it too
>This continues for a couple of years
>Along with Dad's collection growing
>Everything from Mossberg 500's to FAL's
>Especially AKs
>Dad has 1 Saiga he loves the most
>He converted it from a sporter himself
>Nice furniture, trigger, everything
>Called it his "War Machine"
>Everything is nice
>Suddenly
>Divorce
>Dad has to sell all of his guns and ammo
>Including his War Machine and my .22
>Shit sucks
>Rumor has it, there is an AK and a couple of mags still hidden in the wall in our old house
>Slowly build collection back up together
>My first rifle is a Nugget
>Keep going
>Bond over shooting
>feelsgoodman.jpg

That came out way longer than I planned.

>What the gooks shot at us in Vietnam
I know this is a pasta. I remember participating in a shitpost chain making edits of it years ago. Disappointed I haven't seen it since

Fuck you made me remember a story about my grandpa and my aunt
Little back story grandpa was a navy vet from the Korean war served 3 and half years and was discharged due to getting hit by shrapnel all down his back when there ship was hit and then contracted TB while in the navy hospital his wife was a peice of shit who he divorced long story but he was right and rasied my dad and aunt alone and supported them aunt was a bad kid growing up did alot of drugs ran away alot stole my grandpa's stuff for drugs ran away alot got pregnant at 13 grandpa made her give it up for adoption cause he was a single parent dad even told me she would feed lsd to my dad when he was 8 cause she thought it was funny
>grandpa had some nice 1911 as he describes guess it was engraved and high polished nickel
>he cant find it for weeks and his daughter also ran away again recently with her adult boyfriend
>" wait a fucking second where's my purple heart?"
>confront daughter and ask where my fucking 1911 and my purple heart
>"lol i gave them to my boyfriend and he gave me some drugs"
>grandpa flips his shit Proably beat her for it and tryed to get his name but she wouldnt tell didint go to police cause i dont think he wanted her to get in trouble with the law
To this day she denies she ever took them even though my dad and grandpa heard her say she did and it wouldnt be like my grandpa to lie about her cause in his eyes shes still his little girl and he loves her to death
It just pains me to think his purple heart is out there and he never gets to see it again and how much he loves the navy and how he holds everything related to his time in the navy so dear to him I just wish i could get it back for him

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Toast to your pa user

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This was compelling and rich.

Y'all never wanted to go and grab that AK out of its foxhole?

Twist: she was from Innsmouth

Im from the South Eastern part of the state, I like it here but I dont have any good places to go innawooods

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It's not a pasta. That was probably me in that thread.

Based pops.
I got to meet the grandfather of an ex gf of mine who was a flamethrower operator in the Pacific front. Dude melted 5 foxholes full of people in a day

copypasta, but still good.

its for the boogaloo against my mom

Underrated post. ILY

yeah I got a range buddy who formerly did training for a JSOC unit and was a federal air marshal for a few years. he gained a lot of weight because of injuries and walks with a cane. he's an insanely good shot with either hand. he'll do shit at 50 yards that I can't do at 10.

Shit man, I'm from SE Wisconsin. I didn't know we had a constitutional carry hearing tho. That's disappointing it went poorly. But not surprising with Evers

This was back under Walkers reign. this all happened in 2017. I didn't know we had it either until the professor said we were going to the hearing. shit was surreal

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Underrated poat anons

Had a run in with the bird god one time.

>sitting at home, chillin
>I'm home alone one fall evening, kentucky backwoods
>I look out the window and see one of those black headed vultures.
to preface this these bastards had already gotten a few calves and a friends small dog
>cunt
>grab rifle, shoot its head off at couple hundred yards or so, far enough away that it couldn't hop to me with its head gone
>sit out on the porch just looking around
>start hearing this noise, pretty distant at first.
>its this dry raspy clicking noise best description is that it's like the sound a car makes when its turning over but very organic and very guttural.
>half ignore it because it's a vulture right
>wind picks up
>bull in the next field starts making attack noises
>lolwut
>I hear him ram a fence and jump around all crazy
>grab bigger rifle and my shotgun and my shotgun vest
>as I'm walking out I can hear the clicking noise again, this time much louder
>bulls going apeshit, then the whole hillside.
>cattle going ballistic
>all that same distress moo
>hello
> all the while the clicking persists off and on slowly growing in intensity.
>bulls paddocks empty
>hes still goin crazy
>I begin to notice couple vultures flying around and some sitting in trees
>look in the distance and every tree is full of vultures
>look up
>massive ring of them flying over me. Directly over me. Like there's so many its casting a fuckhuge shadow.
>super high too
>wind is still crazy
(1/2)

>clicking still growing
>I take a few potshots at them with birdshot, fuck all happens.
>more and more start joining it
>ignore it for the time being
>cattle are still going apeshit so I've gotta go check on them
>I'm walking through this like service road on the side of a hill, tall grass and brush on either side of me
>cattle stop
>wind dies down
>clicking noise is crazy loud. Sounds like it came from behind my head
>and again
>vultures still flying directly over me
>clicking noise again but this time its unbearably loud, it sounds like its coming from my ears
>shoot the brush for some reason
>began doing rapid fire at the bird niggers
>even with the wind gone birdshot has minimal effect
>use one or two buckshot out of anger
>nothin
>clicking stops
>the ring slowly begins moving down the hill, then down the valley and as it does it slowly thins out

Still shoot em when I can.
(2/2)

madison doesn't do a good job at representing the rest of wisconsin, its very bluepilled atm

>>Grandpa walks into the room with an SKS and yells, "This is what the Gooks were shootin' at us in Viet Nam!"

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>own moist nugget with bayonet
> bayonet adds 1 and a half feet onto an already long rifle
> stabs ceiling while larping alone
>mfw

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Thank you very much for that user.

Wholesome

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5/5 pretty good

>be me around 8-10
>Go to visit ol granpappy in Indianapolis
>dad and old man are gonna go to bar
>Say I can go
>fuck yeauh.png
>hop in 1966 Chebby Impala
>Arrive at bar and get left out in the car cause lolkid
>Dick around and sit for about two hours felt like forever
>Dicking with the radio, running heat
>See a gaggle of nigger all going into the bar
>Dad and old man are based
>imagine the whole bar was based
>a few minutes go by and I hear music stop
>old man and dad come out of bar with a few guys I don’t know
>all the nogs come out and it’s immediate chimp out
>old man pulls switch blade and stabs nigger in the gut
>hand slips off knife and leaves it sticking out of nigger gut
>dad pulls out small revolver and proceeds to miss all the niggers
>they all get in car whilst fight is dying down rapidly
>they get in car and gtfo
>talk about spooks getting ballsy, old man wants to move south too cause he’s too old to fight niggers all day
>we drive to industrial part of town
>get out and help them unload an ungodly amount of .25 pistols/.38 revolvers out of the trunk into a scrap bin
>get home and cops are waiting
>old man gets arrested
>I get good pork chop sandwich the next day before we go home to TN
>Old man died in his sleep two weeks later
Dads let a lot go about why we moved down here and what he used to be like. He gave me the revolver from that night a few years ago.
Mfw I’m just happy my family’s based af

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is the second part out yet?

Good ol wendigos

That was 2016 user...dude probably died

Mountain lions often sound like kids/baby's.

The weight of my SKS on my arm is probably the closest to a gril sleeping on it, which I'll never have. :(

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>browsing Jow Forums
>hear chewing nearby
>see a glimpse of something run by
>it's a fucking mouse
>get a wooden board and smear some peanut butter on it
>put it near my computer and wait
>mouse peeks out in a couple minutes
>goes over to the peanut butter and starts chewing
>pin it to the board with one of my throwing knives
>it thrashes around and sprays blood everywhere
>spend a half hour cleaning up mouse blood

If this is true fuck that cunt

This was really anticlimactic

The species you’re describing is a black vulture. Not black headed vulture. I’m assuming you live in the USA. Anyways, they don’t kill anything. They’re literally scavengers so if you saw them on a cattle carcass or something it wasn’t the vulture that killed it. It was just doing what vultures do. By the way shooting them is a violation of the migratory bird act. It is also retarded.

Retard.

Does anyone still have to story about a guy at his grandpas house in the woods, decides to go hunting, but finds the gun cabinet locked? He then sets a snare for a deer, goes up to it, and fucks it.