Have you ever been shot, Jow Forums ?

Have you ever been shot, Jow Forums ?

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No lol

Wife shot me with a nerf gun on our honeymoon

did it hurt?

Not immediately, but meant she decided what we did that night which hurt.

Look at the YouTube of a guy shooting his wife with a nerfgun like every day for a year.

>be me, plainclothes aussie cop
>at maccas
>gettin a fukken brekky burger
>love me muh egg and sosszag brekky burger
>most australian burger ever
>some fucking druggy homeless fuck is standing around charging his phone on a powerpoint
>I stand half facing him at all times
>"Ayy m8 you ever done [random fucking aussie slang for some street drug]"
>"Nah m8 I'm only on the prescription stuff, good shit I tell ya"
>he steps towards me, half threateningly
>"Ya got any on ya?"
>"Nah m8, it's all at home, how ya doing? Want me to grab ya a bite to eat?"
>he pauses, then steps back
>"Nah m8 all good, enjoy ya brekkie cunt"
>"Have a good one then!"
>get mah burger, never turning away from the druggy
>someone walks in, wakes up other druggy lying down
>"AYYHYEAAA GOT ANY FUKKEN MONEY ON YA CUNT?"
(Not sure if you can tell, but this is even more slurred Australian slang, like a mix of being half asleep and on meth, because he probably was)
>guy who walks in does a 360 and fucking skedaddles back out the door, holding it behind him
>druggy 2: methamphetic boogaloo turns to me, holding my burger
>cunt's holding a knife
>not even 10 feet between us
>fuck
>jump backwards up onto the counter, slide across it over the other side while grabbing my sidearm
>druggy's already at the end of the table, starting to swing his knife
>don't have enough time to get off the back of the table I point my gun at him, point blank, perfect sight picture, and fire
>"AYAAAUUUuuuUGGFUCGGGHHH FUKKEN DOG CUNT YOU SHOT ME"
>he goes down
>breathing at 100 breaths/min
>can't even feel my heart beating
>first thought "Fuck me, I can't believe this piece of shit actually fucking fired when I needed it to"
>second thought "Well now I'm gonna be "That cop who actually got to fucking shoot someone"
>third thought "Better radio for backup"
cont

>go to grab radio, realise I'm already holding radio, am finishing a call for backup, and am starting to yell "DON'T MOVE! DON'T FUCKING MOVE!"
>guess Dave Grossman was right all along
>get up, usual shit, cuff him, other cops show up, don't really know proper debrief procedure because shootings never fucking happen, eventually chief shows up, nicks my gun, and asks if I wanna sit down in the back of his car
>go to sit, still hyped as fuck, I'd done simunition training but fuck, this was something else, this was 100x the intensity
>this shit was to simunition what simunition is to paintball, which is what paintball is to fucking nerf
>he points at my left hand
>"You been holding that the whole time, or did they give you a freebie?"
>look at hand
>holding mah brekky burger
>kinda relieved, been holding the burger this whole time, or must have picked it back up without knowing
>breathe out a sight of relief, finally start relaxing
>chief's face goes white
>looks me right in the eyes and yells
>"FUCK!"
>"What?"
>grabs his radio
>"Send me an extra ambulance, an officer's been shot, wait, fuck it, I'll take him to the hospital myself, FUCK"
>he grabs his tourniquet and tells me to take off my pants
>"Now chief? People are around!"
>"Just do it, and stay calm, fuck"
>he cuts my pants off on the right leg and puts the tourniquet on my calf
>look down
>bottom of his car's covered in blood
>there's a fucking hole in my right foot with blood gushing out
>"WHAT THE FUCK? THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED"
>"It's alright buddy, stay calm, you know I drive like a sick cunt, I'll get you to the hospital in no time"
>drive there, still confused
>can't even feel the pain, never felt anything, leg's just kinda numb, but not even really that numb
>later kinda figure what happened, but security cam confirms it
>I shot right through my own fucking foot
I shot right through my own fucking foot
I SHOT RIGHT THROUGH MY OWN FUCKING FOOT

butt stuff?

I guess it hurts either way, but really, depends who's butt

Coppers coppers punch em in the face

There was a little bit of butt stuff but that wasn't the source of the pain.

It was my butt.

Yeah. Some asshole in Reno shot me.

Druggies druggies shoot 'em in the dick

on the draw?
is there any lasting damage?

Fuck me, what a cunt. Any idea why he did it?

are you saying that in the same night you got shot by a nerf gun and pegged in the ass

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It's reno, I'm assuming drugs are involved.

Aye ya fooking cunt. Don't shoot through your feet, fag :-DDDD

I was not pegged, I only had a finger up my ass.

I only fired one shot, it went right through my foot and into his lower torso, perfectly on target.
Retrospectively I should have aimed higher, but I was at a rather strange angle, and couldn't (or didn't) see my own foot. Some officers tell me it could have been tunnel vision or selective optical exclusion or something.
It was a hollow point, the hole it made going out of me was a fair bit larger than the one going in, and it made a fucking mess of the guy I shot, almost like being hit from close-up by a shotgun, but I only lost a little bit of movement in some of my toes. It mostly did damage to tendons, but there was enough of each of them to make a decent recover.
This was years back, and I'd be hard pressed to point out the scarring.
If you're gonna get shot (or shoot yourself for that matter), do it while you're in your early twenties, still full of stem cells and cum. There's no way in a million years I'd heal this good nowadays.

GG m80

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What happened to the guy you shot?

Considering that every time I've fucked up for the last half decade, someone's made a "Well, you really shot yourself in the foot this time, didn't ya?" joke, and rather than being known as "That badass who shot someone while he was getting brekky", I'm now known as "That dumb fucking cunt who shot himself in the fucking foot in maccas", yeah, I'd really advise against it.
I've used the drive-through ever since. If a civvie's gonna get stabbed by a druggie, not my fucking problem

Dead as a doorknob.
A single 9mm hollow point to the lower torso probably wouldn't have killed him, but it already had a good five inches of airtime between my foot and his body to spread out with.
I heard someone ask "Did you shoot him or punch a golf ball through him?"
Made a real fucking mess
And this is only speculation on my behalf, and may have just been shit someone said to make me feel better, but there's a rumour that the ambulance that went to pick him up, after hearing not only that it was a druggy, but later, over the radio, that an officer had been shot, decided to pull over and have a ciggy break for a few minutes until they could clarify if the "scene was safe yet"
>"We're not coming until you've found the bad guys gun"
>"HE DIDN'T HAVE A GUN, IT WAS THE OFFICER WHO"
>"NU-UH POLICY SAYS IF AN OFFICER'S SHOT WE AIN'T DOING SHIT TILL YOU FIND THE GUN"
Guy bled out on the scene.

I harbor a grudge against law enforcement, and it pleases me to see them in pain.

Just to watch him die.

Was it in Reno?

How many druggy cunts have you got to shoot in life, eh?
And, as I said, I literally did not even feel pain. Adrenaline's a stronger drug than whatever the fuck he was on, he seemed rather upset about the whole "Being shot" thing, while I literally walked it off without even realising.

You shot that user? What a cunt.

So what caused the pain?

Two hours of handjobs. She didn't stop when I came and by the 5th or 6th orgasm there want anything coming out and I was in tears when she went faster as I was cumming.

And this was all her choice?
Fuck man, that's one hell of a wife you got
>"Anytime you complain about me not jerking you off, remember this, and that I'll happily do it again, all night, while you try to sleep before an important meeting"

No but my ex stabbed me in my sleep

Congrats on actually doing your fucking job and not revenue raising

Yeah. Whoever shot the other first could do whatever they wanted.

Yes. Was shot in the face. Was slowed down by my hat. It was a ricochet. I survived with only a little ding.

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>Wife gets to do whatever she wants
>"How about a nice handjob, for my sweetie?"
>she says, smiling deviously
>starts normal handjob
>not bad
>you've never seen her smiling like this before
>"You enjoying it, sweetie?"
>TWO HOURS LATER
>She's still smiling
>You're nearly fucking dead
Wat a gal

>"Can you just fuck me in the ass instead? I'm tired of this hand job."

>"Oh, you're tired of the handjob, are you? Fine. I'll fuck you in the ass, only if you promise to never complain when I tell you my arm's getting tired and you need to cum faster"
>"No, well, maybe another hour..."

No, only shot at as part of basic training.

Post feet pics

>Aussie is so Jow Forums he couldn't help but shoot himself since he's a cop and deserve a bullet too
Fucking based.

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didn't your momma tell you not to play with guns?

>Cops are bad
Lol incel

So did you finish your brekky burger or no?

>cops are good
have sex

>collectively judging all cops as the same
not all cops or feds are bad anons. Unless they're ATF. Then they are complete scum

>Asking the important questions

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Bumping for feets

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this is so unbelievable it must be true

>foot vs gut
I mean it’s not really a comparison

I was never shot but I got zinged by shrapnel twice in Afghanistan. Pic related was were a piece about the size of a penny got me in the inner thigh(its faded a bit and bad lighting but you can kinda see it). An RPG impacted about 15 meters to my left while i was kneeling and the piece went directly into my thigh. Not gonna lie, I freaked out a bit at first. Thought for sure I was hit in the Femoral and was gonna bleed out. The SAW gunner next to me calmed me down and put a tourniquet on me. After I got my wits about me I realized it wasn't a serious wound and took the tourniquet off. Doc pulled the piece out of my thigh when we got back to our patrol base.

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damn, did you get a purple heart?

No i didn't need a casevac which seemed to be the de facto standard for getting a PH. I've heard of people in my situation petitioning their congressmen to get a PH but I wasn't about to do that when I have buddies who are permanently maimed and missing limbs for the rest of their life. I don't deserve the same recognition as them.

Did the dude that got the 2 hour handjob/torture job get a purple heart?

Nah he just got a purple dick