Jow Forums Fantasy Thread

I think /meg/ or /msg/ would be pretty decent battle buddies. /arg/ and /akg/ would be after that. /ak/ and /gqg/ would be last

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This

>hey guise welcome back to /fg/
>here's a shitty greentext about my orc gf where we genocide le knive ears
>give me yous while I go dilate
Fantasy niggers kys. Nobody wants another general thread.

REEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEE
MUH NO FUN ALLOWED
REEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEE
>if I say no fun allowed, it protects me from criticism

>be me
>wake up
>elf gf what do?
Give me yous guise I worked really hard on this one. I work so hard on these just so you guys can jerk it.

I've always wished that wow had more rifles in it. I've been playing since the beginning and cant bring myself to stop. But I love guns too

It's a damn shame that vidya doesn't really explore the urban/modern fantasy genre all that much. The closest thing I can think to fantasy creatures and Jow Forums is The Masquerade: Bloodlines

hey you are back!
i thought you had left after not seeing you here for the last two threads

go home and be a family man

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>implying it's one person
Everyone on Jow Forums who isn't part of some faggot general hates this faggotry.

youtu.be/jhGX7xwidYE

pastebin.com/G6GGKm1p PASTEBIN is updated
>make it to the near the shooting range
>the telltale crack snap of firearms is like music
>it accents the sound of construction and metal clanging in a lovely melody
>it’s a very welcoming sound
>especially since it drowns out the lovey dovey harpy sounds a good bit
>we get off the boat right next to the Bismarck
>as pissed off and sad as I am, I can’t help but be a little bit overcome with awe
>it’s a damn nice ship
>dwarves and gnomes are scurrying everywhere with tools and supplies
>important looking harpys are bossing them around, cussing, and randomly pointing at things while yelling
>from what Harper and Derek say, the harpys hired them to reconstruct the Bismarck after it nearly smashed apart their whole city with all the other naval ships that fell through during the Jow Forumsonvergance
>and the dwarves and gnomes painted the name Bismarck on the ship to keep harpys from calling it “that giant fucking metal piece of shit”
>it didn’t work
>actually am a bit surprised they gave me the history behind it
>+respect
>massive amount of beaches behind the Bismarck
>miles and miles of shooting range
>beautiful open scenery of the ocean
>can have your own private area and not worry about anyone else
>Hell Yes
>Private beachside shooting?
>Jow Forumsomfy as fuck
>I WILL have a good time here
>multicolored feathered fuckwad talking to my harpy or no
>Jow Forumsube be praised

>year is 2025
>Jow Forums is filled with so many offtopic generals that actual military and weapon discussion is limited to only 2-3 threads
>98% of posters never shot a gun in there life, spew fuddlore and mythos like its fact
>mods do nothing, view it as "the Jow Forumsommunity"
>any attempt to increase or encourage more ontopic discussion is quickly shut down.

>fastasy fags mass reported us
lmao

Can you cite that

Amazons. Good bushcraft skills, strong lifters, tough as hell. Only downside is that anything under .50bmg doesn’t have enough kick for them.

They might also look down on you and try to show off because you're a guy

>learning the dark arts
>can’t even step it into sunlight now
>just a bunch of bones
>don’t even have the proper strength and mass to hold and fire a gun
Way to go fag.

Well you better start drinking your milk you onions faggot.

ah, the memories

the fats on milk would make it a bad choice for healthy muscle development if taken alone, it should be limited and complemented with a dietary plan costum made to your needs and activity

>be you
>be innawoods
>the Jow Forumsonvergence just happened and it seems like you find yourself a portal
>you end up in the marketplace of an important city of a big kindom
>your sudden appearance and gear catches the attention of everyone in sight
what do you do next?

run for my fucking life because I'm about to get jumped and mugged for my shit

Join the local arena

Realistically, maintain composure, hope the locals speak a language I can understand and hope I can find and afford to have a wizard send me home.. If they don't have gunpowder or such maybe theres something very valuable to trade besides the items I have.. From advising on politics, military matters, combat tactics to chemistry, medicine or being a hired gun

they speak russian

I can do hello, order hands up, tell I love them, say 'It cannot be helped', know what the mud season is called, know names of couple of traditional soups and thats about it

FRIED

CHICKEN

how about I just forge a male species equivalent to amazons from humans vs eugenics

CYKA BLYAT CYKA BLYAT CYKA BLYAT

Whenever someone tries to approach you say that at the top of your lungs

>Only downside is that anything under .50bmg doesn’t have enough kick for them.
75mm personal hand cannons when?

Manners, you don't want to cause a scene if you don't have an exit

oops I meant, using eugenics, scrambled brain right now

Do you guys think fantasy land has unique natural disasters?

Do dragons and skeleton armies count as natural?

actually if what you want to do is repel people it would be better to scream IDI NAHUI

Is it nature bringing back the dead or a necromancer?

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i mean, it's in the necromancers nature to bring back the death so maybe it counts as a natural disaster who knows

Not soon enough.

It would be a shame if Derek were to...have an unfortunate accident at the range. Nah mean?

Seconding Amazonians, and adding wolf girls/demi-wolves depending on what you wanna call them for excellent tracking and loyalty. And warm cuddles in the cold times. Easy to train, fierce, awoo, and reward them cheap and easy with headpats.

Seem friendly? Act friendly. Seem hostile? Open fire.

>Be me innawoods when portal opens
>Suddenly in marketplace of some fantasy city
>Be skyclad and covered in woad because I'm praising the old gods
>Well this is awkward
>HAIL ODIN
>Start foaming at the mouth and screaming in Finnish

what...?

>behind me, I hear a wet, gagging sound
>it takes a few moments to realize the thing is laughing
>”Never… find… us.” it says in a gargling rasp
>it laughs again, and screeches an incantation
>the medallion around its neck glows, and the creature bursts into flames
>the fire is green and black, the flames looking oily
>thick smoke billows into the air as the thing laughs
>I can’t help but get flashes of the headless man from looking at the column of billowing black smoke
>the flames warp my vision, like when you rub your eyes
>after a few moments, there is only a charred husk leaning against the pole
>the medallion melts and trickles into a puddle on the cobblestones
>that was fucking metal
Deleted a written section to replace it with a less cliche sequence

Naked, covered in blue paint, screaming BENIS and FUGGG:DDDD

Centaurs offer the load bearing abilities, endurance, and speed of a horse, all the while still being able to operate and utilize weapons. Really only downside is their size and inability to go prone.

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>Get our section of the beach for range shooting
>which is fucking massive
>nice
>harpy range shooting is hella fun
>”pull motherfucker!”
>screaming goblin gets launched into the air from a catapult
>operated by a goblin who is sobbing about launching his friends to their deaths
>MetalAsFuck.jpg
>as they get launched in the air shoot the shit out of them
>blood and goblin chunks litter the beach
>Smell of gunpowder is in the air
>ThisMakesMyIronTheBigIron.jpg
>when not shooting goblin skeets take potshots at targets that are being reset by goblins
>occasionally one will get splattered by a stray round
>NothingOfValueWasLost.jpg
>with all the target shooting I’m able to keep my mind off Harper and Derek
>...
>mostly
>occasionally have to suppress the urge to “accidentally” ND into Derek with my whole mag
>have to sight Harpers guns for her every so often
>Derek is complimenting her on her accuracy
>”yeah, well, this fucker here helped me be not shit at shooting.”
>Feel a small swell of pride at that
>Derek yells pull and fires at a goblin with his AK-12
>which is an ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING gun
>full polymer
>lazer sight and scope
>hand grip
>sawn off stock
>pistol grip
>it’s awful
>Harper compliments it
>...
>who the fuck are you, and what have you done with Harper?
>blasts a goblin apart and the gun makes an awful sound
>”mother fucker! Damn shits always jamming.”
>NiggaWat
>HOW
>he looks at me and then to Harper
>”I’m going to use this fuckers gun while he fixes this.”
>EXCUSE ME?
>”yeah, that’s fine.”
>WHAT
>CHOTTO MATTE HARPY-SAN
>he takes my AK and looks over it
>”you use this piece of shit? Don’t you have a fucking shotgun or something?”
>Harper looks over
>”yeah, where the fuck is your shotgun user?”
>mutter ‘I forgot to bring it’
>Derek shakes his head
>”fucking dumbass. get to work. Want that shit fixed before I head home.”
>...
>just when I thought I could have a good time
>Jow Forumsube, PLEASE help me

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Sneak nuclear loads into one of his mags

Speaking of shotguns, what shotgun does user use? I don't think you've ever specified.

>never resolved the headless man
>was going to wait until after this arc
>it’ll all be part of one giant plot
>mfw I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with the plot

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Didn’t even realize that picture was an edit. Though I do suppose it does kinda fit with how I’m Frankensteining plot points together. Might take a break to do some lore writing and to figure the story out. No more trains.

Yeah, never specified that. Personally, I picture it as a Remington 870 police shotgun from the 1990s

user is going to end up as hobo with a shotgun

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He ruined an AK-12, he needs to die even more now.

We don't want to kill all the harpies, just Derek. And I'd hate to destroy an AK

We need to put it out of it's misery

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>tfw

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Let me make it up to you

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>it doesn't look that good

>>full polymer
>>lazer sight and scope
>>hand grip
>>pistol grip
ok, so like, a normal ak 1-
>>sawn off stock
absolutamente asqueroso

>still begging the fucking Jow Forumsube for help when you have a fucking gun
the Jow Forumsube has already given you the means to solve your problem retard

this, don't ask for help, pray for the strenght to carry your holy duty on that faggy parrot

>implying he isn’t already

Dwarves have some great engineering skills. If you want to build an invincible fortress then they're your best bet

>Holding it by the end of the barrel
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>The gun was fired recently

>Hot barrel
>Bends more

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don't worry he has gloves to get around the heat

>implying I'm worried about the human

Picky one aren't you

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man, what i would't give for a couple of mint condition bakelite mags

Centaurs, lad.

Thinking about commissioning some Neumagh character art when I get paid, any suggestions for a good character guys? I’m thinking Ding.

your self insert and elf slave wat do

My fucking dick. Maybe I should pick up a guitar case for my AK.

Kalcium and lightskin

Ding staring at a .50 cal round and drooling.

kalcium on a ju-87

This, or the ring a ding ding art on Neumaghs arm

Ding in a reloading workshop, and Lorelei in her Western outfit with maybe a octagonal barrel levergat.

>my day ends with fixing the AK-12
>poor abused thing had never been cleaned and was filled with a strange black goo
>SOMEONE never cleaned out the CLP
>...
>why did he coat a full polymer gun in CLP?
>ConfusedAnonSounds.mp3
>a different gunk was keeping the slide from closing and was gumming the firing pin
>smells like monster energy drink
>had to clean out bits of drywall from the inner mechanics
>god damn this gun was a mess
>poor thing
>by the time I finish fixing the AK-12 and give it back to Derek they have used all the ammunition and goblins
>including all of my ammunition
>...
>fuck
>wait around looking at the scenery and ocean as Harper and Derek keep talking
>at least the ocean looks nice
>whole bunch of cool boats
>lots of repurposed ww2 vessels and sail boats by the looks of it
>very nice
>...
>I was supposed to be spending a nice day with my harpy…
>and instead I’m depressed and looking at boats…
>...
>today was fucking awful
>didn’t even get to shoot much shit at the shooting range
>after a bit it gets dark and the range attendants kick us out
>it’s a long, chatty boat ride home for the harpys
>I just want to go to bed
>ItsAllSoTiresome.jpg
>make it back to harpers home
>they spend nearly a full hour out front talking
>my only solace is that once we go inside, we are going to be away from HIM
>it can’t get any worse from here
>”this was a damn fucking great time, well have to do this again.”
>”how about tomorrow? I’m free all fucking day.”
>”hell yeah! That sounds fucking great! Just leave the fucking shitebag slave at home ”
>”yeah, he won’t fucking mind that.”
>...
>yeah, that’s what I get for speaking too soon
>Jow Forumsube fuck me

pastebin.com/gbGGdPSm
>some time passes
>we’re shooting the shit while shooting shit on the woods
>talking in between reloads about calibers, how different guns behave, gear, etc.
>even though she doesn’t seem very interested on the fighting part about firearms
>she’s clearly enjoying herself while shooting at nothing in particular
>man, this feels good
>I’ve never thought I’d bring somebody over to fuck about in the woods
>let alone that it would be this comfy
>after some minutes we cease-fire and sit down for a bit
>I pull out the HAM radio out of its bag
>I start to explain to her how the radio helps on long distance communications and shit
>she inspects the radio and says “yeah, I’ve heard of this things before, I thought they were massive in order to do something like sending a message for so long”
>I tell her about how those are the towers and transponders that can get big and how the radio relies on them
>”how about I show you how it works?”
>Lucy nods and shuffles closer to me to see how I operate the radio
>I start to move the CTAF frequency knob at around 122.7 to hear the communications of the nearby airport
>it’s awfully quiet today
>but it seems like a Beechcraft baron is coming in to land
>Lucy seem oddly amused to the pilot speak coming through the radio
>with a hint of confusion on that amused face
>I don’t blame her
>hearing all that kind of shit pilots and tower spew at each other, might as well be speaking their own language, shit’s uncomprehendable
>she gets close “um… hello?”
>I chuckle at this
>”they can’t hear you Lucy, not yet, I have to press this button to connect the microphone” I said as I pointed at the button at the side of the microphone
>”ooooh” she reaches to grab it but I stop her hand
>”wait, I think interrupting in air traffic frequencies is very illegal”
>she puts on a pouty face “aww dang”

kill the fucker

why are you such a spineless faggot? ever since you started writing you've ended every fucking story begging the Jow Forumsube to help you do some gay interpersonal shit like getting a gf, keeping the gf your autistic ass somehow got
can we get the story of the waifu hunter instead? that guy might have been a no fun allowed faggot for killing cute fantasy chicks but at least that guy knew how the Jow Forumsube wants you to solve a problem

keep in mind that user is undercover and lashing out agains a harpy in HARPY CITY would probably get him burned on the pyre, but why is harper suddenly so enticed by that parrot faggot's wretched musk? that's whats making me concerned

i just realized that i said he should kill him, but that was out of reflex, what user should do is isolate the fucker, make sure he can call for help, then kill him, not leaving a trace

his spineless faggotry was around long before he went to a harpy city, the only difference is now his spineless faggotry will result in him getting cucked

maybe our standars are different, so could you please describe to me what you considered as spinesless before he arrived at harpy city?

>all of his early posts begging our god of firearms and bloodshed for a gf instead of asking whatever the fuck Jow Forums worships or instead of not being so Jow Forums and going just out and getting one

really? you see it that way? i saw it as something like a leitmotif or something distinctive, like "hehe i'm gonna make all my post end similarly", a silly joke to denote user's mood at the end of a post, not something to take seriously but if you see it that way then ok, literature and writting are subjective and it's good that we have different opinions