Attached: HarryPotter_in_Iraq.jpg (188x250, 60K)
Why Harry Potter needs guns
Aaron Turner
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Mason Barnes
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Charles Butler
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
James Kelly
None of that was related to a 1911 until the end
Jace Jenkins
Holy autism
Isaiah Kelly
isn't this pasta from like 2013
Owen Morales
Guns don't work in the WIZARDIN' WORL'.
I hate that my wife is a Potterfag...
Henry Cox
oh guns work...
someone please post the pasta of Jow Forumsommandos and Jow Forumsomrades facing off in the castle, for posterity
Jack Hernandez
But they do. Rowling mentions them in book 4 iirc about metal wands called guns that only use death spells
Angel Wilson
hahahaha holy shit that's retarded
Chase Smith
Jesus Christ that's lazy pandering writing.
Luke Myers
Dylan Robinson
Original
Jonathan Wilson
Never have children. Do the world a fucking favor, and by extension the white race, and don’t bring forth any more future capeshit Netflix watching mentally ill drones
Angel Moore
this
Elijah Baker
What do you expect for a bong who also counterintuitively writes the best case for why everybody needs to stay armed at all times and why we cant trust the "ministry of magic" aimed at kids
Isaac Ward
Xavier Baker
Old pasta.
Also I hate myself for knowing this, but NVGs, like other electronics, won't work at Hogwarts.
Nice.
Camden Moore
Your "original" is dated 4 years after mine was saved, and it's missing half the text.
Julian Roberts
I can imagine that being pretty fun and ultra retarded
Matthew Ramirez
Hogwarts was an open carry school.
Jack Powell
Colt fourtyfiveus!
Julian Hughes
>The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Didn't this totally not work in Bird Box?
Ian Perry
Tl;dr a badass one-liner
Connor Torres
Asher Martinez
Put me in screncap
Zachary Bell
It's stale old pasta, fucking r*ddit scum
Blake Bell
They do though. Rowling said gun always beats wizards
Landon Young
I haven't seen this in years
Isaiah Wilson
Are wizards retards?
Caleb Jones
This is the same view as modern-day schools.
Anthony Lopez
While also making the case for racial purity and isolation. Voldermort did nothing wrong
Bentley Ward
This wasn't a gun man who was retarded, this was a woman trying to install a false world view on impressionable children. I .e what happens in our current school aystem
Leo Cooper
I could totally see a sort of John Wick mixed Kickass style of cinematography, choreography, and dialogue. Would be pretty normie and cringe tier but it could totally be Jow Forumsino and stupidly fun regardless
Jayden Collins
It was a wizard badly trying to explain the concept to other wizards, not word-of-god narration.
Grayson Mitchell
>smelly arm this ya sumbitch!!
Lincoln Walker
i think the guns wooould be useless on them but if he got a drop on them with a suppressed gun and shot them he might have won.
just imagine
you shoot at a wizzard they do a bullet protection spell
you shoot them they get hit they just do a spell they get there hands back.
you shoot at wizzards they take cover make a spell that spell then attacks you you dead
Levi Howard
I’m not gonna lie.
I kinda dig it