/britfeel/

cotswold probably

Managed to get a girlfriend last year, though I definitely settled. She's short, fat, ugly, and hairy. I only got with her because I was hoping to lose my virginity but we still haven't had sex. None of my friends talk to me anymore because of her. What should I do?

m-measure it hard desu

Last time I went to America, I got triple the amount of matches on tinder than I do back here. Ended up getting off wit a qt too. Can't wait to go back in August.

originally end yourself

>I was hoping to lose my virginity but we still haven't had sex.
how old are you? Have you at least got a handie?

the fucking size of this cunt

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My 11 year old sister just brought home her first bf, he's a 57 year old Pakistani gentlemen. We're so proud of her

I've been considering it, I've lost everyone. Literally only talk to her now, her friends don't like her anymore either so we literally just spend our days in my room (live in uni accomodation)

Which state did you go to, user?

>spoilers
this is mado

I put it to you Karen and Cotswold are the same poster
*puffs on his pipe Sherlock holmes style*

Yeah managed to get one of those, it was very unenthusiastic mind, at the end she laughed at me because I came on my poster

>this is mado
nah. Mado is a tiny lad his hands are lil mitts

tbqh lad, you did gf-ing wrong. you shouldn't cut yourself off from your friends just for some bird

keep your feet safe tonight lads, never know when one of these might shoot across the floor ready to bite

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British as fuck, lad. Well done

They're all cute and karen has beautiful eyes

Damn crona looks like THAT??

My guess is Goose has a tiny pecker and is afraid of penetrating her.

She sounds a bit shit lad. Straight up tell her you want sex and if she's not up for it ditch her

you really must post the new thread three times, i often dont see it if you dont.

Florida. Super hot and tacky but I had a good time.

hes a cheeky blinder i'll give him that

This is Crona actually

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I know lad, too late to go back now though. They staged an intervention sometime last year just asking what was going on because we disappeared into my room and did nothing but play overwatch, but this year it happened again

Should be easier to get a new gf now you already have one. But you technically aren't welcome here despite being a virgin, I'll give you a pass for this thread only.

spiders don't bite you nutter, they inject venom then dissolve their pray and drink the soup

It's not, hair isnt nearly long enough

>Why don't Britbots just go to America?
for sex? if I wanted sex I would brush my teeth and comb my beard.

turn the magnifier on grandad

I thought that was Goose?

That's some young boy Crona was grooming over discord.

>pray and drink the soup
new album title

Crona said it wasnt, its just some random lad on discord

I suppose an eye isn't exactly compromising plus the camera being literally in my eyes cuts off the detail if anyone was so auts to pick up on those

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fuck lads really need some money, its really starting to wear thin on me

That's even worse, imagine being so much of a cunt you'd groom someone and then post their picture on here. Crona never fails to be a utter deceitful rat.

I really don't think I could, I'll completely honest I don't even know how I got this girl, guess she's just as gross as me. She's pretty much the best I can do physically

Gosh lads, all this spider posting sure is making me feel super comfortable and relaxed

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alright scoochey non night pal

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>cronas head looks like an airship
>tilde has 40 year old builder hands
>cotswold is a nonce and an eyelet
>karen is a rapist and 6'7

stop orbiting trips

>blue
lucky bastard

Feels good to be Aryan.

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>karen is a rapist and 6'7
>tfw he's literally the fella from the Green Mile only he actually did it

Jesus christ, he looks fucking haggered.

Left four slices of pizza lads, I'm stuffed.

Anyone want a slice?

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>guess she's just as gross as me
well, are ya fat?

Lads don't worry spiders are your friends and they actually protect you from the real nasties out there. They just pop out every now and again and we won't hurt you.

This thread is very sad.
I always see it floating across this already sad board. There's the same people posting day after day about their inane lives repeating the same jokes without really trying to be hilarious or original. You can feel the depression off every post, and the same circle of autists are always posted - that one mentally ill Tim man - seemingly so that the pathetic people here will have someone, just one person they can look down on themselves for a change.
I check in every once in a while because I share a nation with you guys but in all this time i've never seen anything of worth being posted. Occasionally something interesting will happen, some attentionwhore manages to pique everyones interest for a little while before burning up. But i really fail to see why anyone would come here day in and day out.

>if I wanted sex I would brush my teeth and comb my beard.

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You'll be ok lad, just be sure to keep your feet off the floor. Even if you are upstairs spiders like to find their way too you somehow.

Yes pls lad what toppings?

He also looks greasy as fuck. What a moist nightmare of a man.

>cronas head looks like an airship
lmao

This. Spiders are based and just like to give a cheeky hello sometimes

I am, I don't know if it's because I've grown up with dogs but before they abandoned me my friends used to joke saying I stink too.

What's the limit in terms of ugliness in a girl for you? For me it's pic related

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>just one person they can look down on themselves for a change.
Um no, we actually look up to him.

Fucking retard.

This is a very original thread lad and also tfw no gf

Show a pic of yourself, lad.

I miss her so fucking much it's killing me and I can't sleep

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Ok well stop being fat and buy some aftershave

wow that's a cute kitter

Got the beers in boys

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you first studmuffin

She's too ugly for me. Imagine waking up and seeing that orc looking at you.

I'd have to think about a suitable pic but quite often I look back and think 'man...I should have had sex with that ugly girl'

OH LOOK IT'S OUR FAVOURITE OVERWEIGHT ESTONIAN SCHOOLBOY
HAHAHAHAHA

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>mfw

where is she?

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Tilde this looks absolutely terrible.

all the talk of people popping to the shop and getting beers in is getting me down

I tried going to the gym before, I would only go with one of my friends but he went too often for me so I stopped going. I don't want to go alone.

Shes a right qt lad.
>orriri

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dmanon SEETHING

I don't know my limit. I would date this lass from Crystal Cafe though.

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Where's the erect measurement bitch?

What beers you drinking lad

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How did Scoochey bears jumper get so dirty?

You can work out at home. Lads here have done it no problem.

Fucking creepy. How is she overweight? She's cute as heck.

I wonder is dm has plundered this booty

Why so laddo?

Nice trips

it's one of those shitty cotton jumpers that is just a magnet for filth

It's not the cat that I miss. The cat is on my bed right now.
I miss the girl that I cuddled
Affection is like drugs
Literally painful going cold turkey

I miss him so fucking much its killing me and I cant sleep.

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>tfw never cuddled a girl
cuddle me pls

Wasn't dm pushing for homeless to move in with him?

>Crystal Cafe

Glad this got posted the other day because it's fascinating. It's like if /cgl/ was the whole of Jow Forums

I suppose so, is it normal to work out in front of a girlfriend. She never leaves my room.

Is it bad that the only reason I haven't gotten rid of her is because I don't have an alternative? Like I'd rather have shit hand jobs than nothing

why does timmy have that sweaty sheen to him?