Can we get a that uncle thread?

>That uncle who is a great dad
>while your a no dad loser
>and your mom never want to admit how bad things really are so you only see him at birthdays

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That's pretty much going to be me OP. Sister is going to have a kid very soon, and she pretty much pretends I don't exist. So I figure the kid may know of me, but doubt anything outside that outside short visits to our parents.

I'll share my uncle
>That rich Uncle with the big house
>Always showers everyone with gifts
>Generally pretty cool laid back
>Turns out he was a serial rapist and had been for decades
>Raped his own family, sister, daughter, basically any female he could get to
>His daughter got tired of his shit and finally was the first to break this dark family secret.
>He now serving a life sentence and never heard form anyone else in his family ever sense
I miss my cousins, I'm so sorry he hurt you all so much and I never knew.

Hows it feel knowing your mom took your uncle in but won't let you

>that other uncle who's your fathers brother and realizes your dad is a fucktard and offers to talk and be a help
>tfw your mom think its dumb and "we" don't his help
thanks mom. i hope you die soon.

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>that uncle who was in a shitty rock band and thinks he's a private eye now who sends you custom guitar picks and shit even though he hasn't seen you for years now
>that uncle who is clearly dead inside, works in marketing, and looks and acts beta as fuck
>that uncle who's still a hippie
>that one uncle who was actually successful and cool but his kids wound up pieces of shit

You some kind of faggot?

>that uncle who was super cool and brought me and my brother to the movies
>that uncle who would speed, slam on the breaks and honk random people to make us laugh
>that uncle who made dirty and extremely funny racist jokes
>that uncle who got married to 3/10 bitch and moved
>that uncle who now is a snowflake and has 2 spoiled brats

For some reason sexual abuse is common in my family. My dad was sexually abused as a kid by his dad. Mom was abused by her brother, and of a few other guys growing up. Sexual abuse either just for some reason rampant in my family, or it's far more common in everyday society then we can even imagine.

>That uncle that smokes weed
>That uncle that's in jail
>That uncle you wish was your dad

>that uncle that used to steal boomboxes from niggers
>Had a run in with a belorussian gang at a gas station (we're Russian), there was one particular guy that wanted my uncle to get on his knees and plead for his life
>Pulled out his rifle and shot the belorussian's car
>Bullet ricocheted off the engine and hit the main dude in the leg
>Uncle fled to Canada and then to Russia to not get thrown in prison
>Grandma has to hire a lawyer
>Apparently the father of the guy my uncle shot knew his son was a piece of shit so they didn't really try to press charges
>Uncle now lives back in the States, his wife is a bitch, and he's a flat earther who thinks HIV and AIDS are made up

>that uncle who got arrested for burglary and is now ignored by family

>that cool uncle who always bought you video games and consoles
>that cool uncle that always invited you and your dad fishing or hunting
>that cool uncle who gave you awesome presents every holiday
>that cool uncle who your mom and dad invited over for every holiday
>that cool uncle who gave you a bunch of money
>that cool uncle who wrote you in as his sole beneficiary in his will because he was unmarried and had no kids, and you were his favorite nephew
>that cool uncle who killed himself

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its far more common than people admit to, specially incest in general.

You keep at it big fella, show 'em who's boss!

same here
not only am I that uncle, I also have to consciously avoid hobbies and doing other stuff that my own "that uncle" did to appear less like them

I was referring to my girlfriend's brother, he made an advance on me once so I headbutted him. He ran off crying, bear in mind he is 31. I can understand the confusion.

>that unlce who you always thoguht was the coolest
>one of the nicest guys you knew
>had a job where he would sit home and work on computer programming
>was pretty well off to. Owned a nice house and car
>decided that was what i wanted to do for my career
>start going to vocational school during high school
>planned on going to the college he went to
>one afternoon mom calls me in to the living room
>"user, we found out that your uncle has cancer"
>it was some form of tumor in his esophagus
>was upset but optimistic at first cause he was a pretty big guy and had a lot of money
>the doctors removed it, but he lost so much weight and it made eating a huge pain for him
>mom and i would help out at his house and bring him his medicine with some food all the time
>as time went the cancer came back a few months later
>at this point he was a walking skeleton basically
>he could hardly eat at all
>his lowest point was 90 pounds
>almost 2 years had past since he first got the cancer
>he was struggling to get past 110 pounds when we found out the cancer came back again
>everyone knew that he wasnt going to make it
>i didn't care and thought there was still a chance
>he got pneumonia one day and sent to the hospital
>last time i saw him was in his hospital bed asleep
>heard he got septic the next week
>came home from school and my dad told me that he had passed
>all i said was "oh" and walked into my room and cried my eyes out

I still miss him anons

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>that uncle that used to straight up bully me when I was like 9 to the point where I wouldn't hang out with my my if he was home
>that uncle that wears a cowboy hat unironically
>that uncle that watches a Christmas story 14 times on Christmas
>that uncle that called the dog a nigger at thanksgiving
>that uncle who isn't really my uncle at all because before me or my cousins were born my aunt got divorced and they never told any of us, but I found out through a photo album
>that pseudouncle

I had an aunt that passed recently from cancer, septic got her too.

It's surreal, I remember getting off work and coming back to her house(worked with my uncle) and seeing her be so sluggish and exhausted all the time. I asked her if she was alright & she kind of just gave me the "oh its just something-mumble mumble." This was about a month before the diagnosis. I didn't dwell on it too much because I had convinced myself that she would get better. The cancer was contained in a growth, there was no reason for her not to. She was having a hard time keeping weight & eating too. Then about 3 weeks later I got the text at work from my dad.

what the fuck is wrong with being a literal nazi
did those little jews get to you?
don't believe everything those libcuck media fags tell you.
being white is okay, user. you can be proud of your race.

Being a nazi is stupid, being proud of your race is different

>Global unification of the white race is stupid
well yeah, if you're not white you probably won't like it.

>that uncle who joined a cult in India and disappeared

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>global unification of people with separate cultures, languages, and vendettas isn't stupid
k

You sound like such a drone lol

>older version of you
I know this feel.
>that uncle whos really smart even though everyone else in the family is a dumbo
>that uncle whos eccentric and funny
>that uncle who can make anything into a hilarious joke just because he has a funny voice and tone

>that uncle who was like uncle Rico in Napoleon dynamite
>except he had kids and theyre more successful than you

>unironically Black
Look at this dood

He got what he wanted and gave you what he had to give you a leg up.
Don't be sad for him, his life was too painful to carry on.

wait what the fuck did I miss something here

>that uncle who's an Elder Gay
>that uncle who always lived with his sister and mother
>that uncle who's given up on life because his "lover" (as he called him) died 20+ years ago
>that uncle who moves in with your parents after his mom and sister die because mooching off other people is all he knows
>that uncle who never pays rent or for the fucking ridiculous amount of electricity, gas and water he uses
>that uncle who is fucking obsesses about you because you're trans and he has a "connection" with you
>that uncle who brings out the abusive, lazy, shitty parts of your dad that hadn't been a part of hom for a decade
>that uncle who is literally driving your mom insane but can't be gotten rid of because "he's family"
>that uncle who has repeatedly asked your mom "uhh...what kind of underwear does user wear?" and other far worse shit your mom refuses to tell you
>that uncle who your brother nearly beats up after hearing the pervy borderline incestuous shit he says about you

>that uncle who's the reason you never go home anymore

Are you a cute tranny girl or a handsome trans man?

>that cool young uncle who was always the most succesful one among his siblings and became a millionaire but you never get to see him or any of his money because you have been ostracized by your family

im am gril btw

>>that uncle who is fucking obsesses about you because you're trans and he has a "connection" with you
Mental illness people stick to those of their kind

well I'm sure as hell not sticking to that fucker

Idk maybe not to him maybe hes sticking in you

>I feel so close to you right now, we're like kindred spirits
*starts rubbing your shoulders*

>that uncle who's an alcoholic
>that uncle that lived with my grandparents for a decade after getting divorced
>that uncle that takes your grandparents for granted
>that uncle who turned his life around and bought a house
>that uncle who always picks damaged girls
>that uncle who seems cool but you've never really held a conversation with him because you have social anxiety around everyone including your family

post discord bby

don't use discord so don't know what this means

ill be that uncle in a couple of months

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then download it.

>that uncle who was 18 years younger than your mom
>that uncle who introduced you to video games
>that uncle who became a software developer
>that uncle who got you work experience in his web development company in the city
>that uncle who lives happily in a big house with his beautiful wife and son with a daughter on the way
>that uncle your mom says is exactly like you

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why do you want me to do tat

so we can talk to each other duh?

I'm that uncle. Do five year old girls like dublos?

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>that uncle that loved you and would have done anything for you until you became a teenager and decided you wanted to be a wigger

I'm that uncle and my nephew is dead to me and he was pretty much all I had

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Uncle 1
>that uncle who accidentally left his vintage VHS porn tapes in the VHS player when my brother and I were trying to watch TV
>that uncle who was abusive to his wife and it was only the three of you in his car
>that uncle who is jaded and bitter and throughout your entire life made you feel uncomfortable, but you never knew why
>that uncle who undoubtedly led a 2nd life and cheated on his wife

Uncle 2 (technically great uncle)
>that uncle who fought in Vietnam and only dated Asian women once he returned. Family suspects it's because of the massive guilt he felt
>that uncle who smiled through his teeth but you were quite certain that he didn't care for you or your brother whatsoever
>that uncle who acted differently and was always serious when mom (his niece) wasn't around
>that uncle who was cheap and never gave nice presents
Jesus. Remembering these small stories from my childhood really dampens my memories...

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I guess on my father's side I had only one uncle who wasn't 'that uncle'. My father belongs to those uncles.

Why are you here?

>>that uncle that always looks sad
FUCK THAT WILL BE ME IN 4 YEARS WHEN MY NIECE STARTS TO ACTUALLY NOTICE

me too once my siblings start having kids

i have a niece and she's so fucking antisocial for a 2yo kid only shows affection to her mom her dad and rarely to any other people. fucking hope she doesn't have some form of mild autism or some shit and that it's just a phase don't want her to be as miserable as me

I had an uncle that i really liked he was super chill and he always made me do fun stuff. But then he got cancer and I hadn't seen him in a while and one day my mom decided to take me to a family gathering where he was aswell. I didn't recognize him, I just looked at him the same i would've looked at a stranger. Then he said " It's me ,uncle, aren't you gonna come and say hi" and then he did what looked like a forced smile. It destroyed me, seeing him so disappointed by the fact that i didn't recognize him. To this day i still feel bad whenever i think about that moment, because it was the last time i saw him, alive or dead. Didn't even attend his funeral because i had important exams that week. Fuck man... fuck...

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>That uncle who posts news of a much loved relatives cancer on Facebook for 15 minutes of fame
My stupid bitch auntie did this TWICE. Fucking narcissistic cunt.

>that uncle who made a lot of money working every kind of job
>that uncle who never married because "women are just scam and If I need to get laid I can pay a bitch to do what the fuck I want and after a few hours I can kick her off without fear"
>that uncle who is fit for being 50
>that uncle who treat me and my brother as his own sons
>that uncle who brought me to a night club for my 18th birthday
>that uncle who brought me and my brother to fishing, hunting
>that uncle who settled a camp innawoods because "that little bitch of father you have is probably more feminine than my sister (my mother) and you need to be teached more masculine things"
>that uncle that always smashed me and my brother at playing vidya
>that uncle who I wish could be my father instead of my failed soyboy of a father
Why can't you be my father uncle?!

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>that uncle who lived in the same house as you and clips his fucking toenails/nails in the bathtub
I still have bad realizations of the times I've stepped into the showers only to step on his piece of shit's toenails. I always wondered why something was jabbing my soles.

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>just remembered that uncle
>im turning into him

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Probably something in between

>that uncle who lives in america when the rest of the family lives in yurop
>that uncle who smokes weed a lot and runs a medical weed company
I smoked with him and my father once lol, weird but fun times
>that uncle who is a nice guy but acts a little juvenile sometimes
Not really immature or anything, but for exame when you show him something he's never heard of he acts all amazed like a little boy would, not a bad thing though
>that (grand) uncle who is a low key alcoholic and who's favourite hobby is hard work
He's in his 70's now but he doesn't act older than 50, the guy is indestructable
>that grand uncle who never moved out of his parents' home which is not that weird since it was a farm that he would be taking over
>he never married or had kids and lives alone on a giant farm with 4 cows in the middle of nowhere
Its really sad, only my grandpa and grand aunt visit him every once in a while, i joined my grandpa once on a visit and it looked so depressing.
>visit with grandpa and siblings
>dust everywhere
>house is barely heated since that's expensive
>serves tea in dirty cups
>have some smalltalk
>at some point he says he threw away his life
>grandpa tells him ''no you haven't, you've done great things with your life, right user? Looking at me
>all i can say is yeah off course and laugh awkwardly
He spent his entire life farming and according to my grandpa he is sitting on a massive inheritance. The rest of the family doesn't want to visit since he isn't really a social guy and the lack of female contact over the years has made him a bit touchy whenever he meets our female family members and it seems like most people are more or less waiting for him to drop dead so they can get their share of his supposed riches.

Testing desu senpai I'm just glad it's over

>that gay uncle that used to gub on two dicks at once

>that uncle who would tell the kids he was going out to get ice cream and just go home
>that uncle who drove his son home from the airport drunk
>that uncle who dropped ribs on the ground and got so angry he trashed the fridge
>that uncle who was basically buster from arrested development

>that child hating, misantrophic uncle who doesn't have a shred of human warmth or humor in him
>grinds his teeth every time you speak to him
>makes a shitton of money but never helps out any of his family, even when they ask
>doesn't spend any of it either, lives in a small apartment he barely leaves and has a totally ascetic lifestyle
I can only dream of every being that much of a schizoid asshole. Honestly, I kind of love how blunt and stubborn he is, most of the family deserves it anyway.
>uncle who used to smuggle drugs
>spent some time in a third world country prison, and a regular prison
>fucked a lot of third world whores
>somehow dodged aids from both
>drinks like a fish
>probably still on cocaine in his sixties
>so fat he can hardly walk
>can't stop fighting with everyone and making and ass of himself
>occasionally goes clubbing despite his age and physical condition
>recently got into legal trouble over biting some thot's tit in a club
Don't know how he's still alive.

>that uncle that offered sexy underwear and a vacuum cleaner to his wife for christmas
What a guy.
>that other uncle who said in front of everyone during dinner that his wife was a whore
>no one said anything and I don't know if would have said anything if I was there

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