Borderline Personality Disorder

Can you guys explain what bpd is and why it's so destructive to the person suffering it and the people around them? What's it like having bpd/dating a borderline/having parents that are borderline? Tell stories if you got them.

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Too many things to list. The short version is that they are incapable of having a real identity, they just latch onto a fake one like for example whatever anime character personality they like recently and then behave like that, their emotions are all fucked up and intensified but short-lasting, another side effect of not having a real "self," and the result is that they don't really see emotions as "real" most of the time, except for when they are feeling them, so what they felt 1 hour ago can be invalidated and completely forgotten. Same goes for feelings of love, they can swear undying love to you and then five minutes change their mind and cut you out of their life and literally not care at all.

They also have no sense of moderation, everything is binary to them, either you are a wonderful perfect angel (not for long though) or you are literally the worst person they've ever met. Because of this they are hurt very easily, if their perfect person says the wrong thing at the wrong time it's like their world ending and they'll fly into a horrific rage. Could be any little thing, or even NO thing at all, because of their constant fear of abandonment they might just make something up if they find themselves feeling too happy in a relationship. It'll just make them fear losing it and then they decide that it's no good to be in a precarious situation like that so they act out either for reassurance, or more commonly, to just end it. With no remorse at all.
Honestly man I could go on but it's just so much shit. They aren't human, really. They're just hollow demons.

This post is pretty well put, for the most part.
I'm a diagnosed BPD. Ask away.

Your actions can get pretty impulsive. Might go to measures like self harm, reckless behavior and etc... You become a really, and I mean really, angry person.
The constant fear of abandonment will be all you think about.
I think the reasons mentioned above are why it's destructive, it can reflect really easily on a relationship, they might be too clingy, too controlling, too anxious and hard to be around.
About parents, I truly can't tell, must be shite though.
Also worth mentioning, the bpd might not affect all of the persons relationships, so some of them might seem just natural, others not so much.

BPD user, how do you feel about all the people who call you guys monsters/ evil etc? Is that how you feel about yourself? What about others with bpd? And what about 's post do you think is not put so eloquently?

Because of how extreme my emotions and views are, I can see why I would be called a monster. I can be extremely empathetic, take a hobo off the street and buy him some food one day; or extremely violent and sadistic (not edgelord) by doing something like slicing someone's tires, pissing on their car, getting into a fight, etc. There's no grey area. And I wouldn't say I have no personality, but I have many personalities I adapt for use for different audiences. I don't have a singular style, but adapt really well to situations based in how I present myself. And when I get into a fight in a happy relationship, it isnt to end it, because I don't want to be abandoned, it's to create a problem and fight then come back and have them tell me how much they love me. It's like makeup sex. If things are stagnant you fight and revitalize and see that they love you

Typical BPD whore trickery and manipulation. There's a whole lot more to it than that. Even if someone were to accept your behavior, and stay with you despite having such fights, it would just make you lose respect for them and be upset that they cannot stand up for themselves, and suddenly you want "someone who can put me in my place."
You even have sick and delusional thoughts like, "Wow, if he's willing to put up with this, it just means he has incredibly low standards. It's not that he likes me, he would accept literally anything."

There is no way to win with a BPD, they will always convince themselves that you don't actually like them, and use this to justify whatever despicable behavior they're currently displaying, or just invent some retarded reason to ruin everything.

>they will always convince themselves that you don't actually like them
This is the key part, BPDs are fully and absolutely incapable of accepting love, they will demand it infinitely from you but it can never ever be enough because they inherently believe they don't deserve love (and they are kind of right) or that they cannot be loved, and therefore they convince themselves that it's not real and no one actually cares, because being cared for would be too awful anyway because then they might abandon you.

In fact, most things are not real for them. Another talent they have that comes with the affinity for manipulation is that they can generally see through most of all human behavior and it becomes something akin to acting for them, everyone just playing out roles without any real meaning. That's why they can do the same thing themselves so easily and deceive someone like it's nothing. It's all they know.

First off I'm male, you seem to think I'm not by the way you're talking. And also, yes, I do manipulate people. But I don't do it to harm them, I just know what's better for them and mold them to be better or happier. The way you say that I want to dominate and be dominated is an odd one though, I'll agree. I really love having power over someone but the thought of a girl who could just totally control me also gets me going; another one of my extremes.
Forgot to mention OP that our self esteem is extremely low. I get called handsome and 10/10 by girls, but I'll never believe them. I feel like a 5/10 at best and have difficulty thinking I can measure up to anyone. Yet at the same time I'm better than anyone. I'm a self hating narcissist

>BPD male
lmao die tranny

Acting is a great way to put it user, I do act quite a bit, and everyone is a seperate audience I try and entertain. Most people around me are just like vidya NPCs, only people I love or despise break away from that image for me.

>tfw aspergers with BPD gf
fuck, have I made a mistake?

I'm seriously a male.. no tranny.

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i have the same shirt, it's warm and comfy. good job user

Actually the real reason I hate BPDs so much is because they are just the purest form of human, all their disordered behavior is just typical human behavior intensified, especially female behavior, and put into great clarity because they lack the filtering that lets normal people function with each other. Regular people are just more blurred or subdued in comparison, so it's not as noticeable. Normal people are also far less aware of how any of these things work, whereas BPDs have a sort of innate understanding of what is going on, which is why they have a talent for manipulation. And because of this they are also forced to be more subtle and elegant in their acting, which is why they are exceptionally charming.

Yes.

I suspect I may have bpd because I match up with all the symptoms except I don't act them out. For example I go from really hating someone's guts and wishing they'd die to thinking we're fated best friend soul mates or something but the whole time I internalize it. From their perspective I'm the same person. Also I get urges to harm myself or others or be completely reckless but I still have the judgment to know I shouldn't actually do it. I also dissociate almost everyday and feel like other people or myself aren't real but still am able to control any impulses. I lock up my feelings so well that no one around me even notices. Could I just be a rational(?) person with bpd or is this not bpd at all?

How do you feel about schizophrenics?

I don't care about them. They're just loopy and weird.

That's me apart from the weird thing, i'm definitely a bit loopy though.

Well have fun with that I guess. Sucks for you not having the personality disorder that is associated with being intoxicatingly charming and just a loopy one instead.

My mom is BPD and sometimes she's hell walking on earth and other (rare) times, she's super nice. When she's nice, I'm always cautious and anxious about what's gonna flip her back to hell. It could be literally anything.

Schizophrenia is a curse not a cool disorder. The only good thing is I hallucinate and see shadow demons among other things when i'm having an episode. I don't think i've met one schizophrenic who enjoys it so far. I'd love to be BDP.

I have BPD + psychotic depression.

AMA.

I was diagnosed about 5 years ago by 3 doctors.

My brother actually dated a BDP girl. He cheated on her about 20 times and she was so in love with him she put up with it and when he broke up with her because he couldn't be faithful she stalked him for like 5 months. We got on though as she also had psychosis once upon a time and could relate to me.

(me)
p-please respond. i'm lost

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Don't self diagnose. Talk to multiple doctors and get a therapist. If you're going to make believe, pick a SMI that doesn't totally annihilate any chance of normalcy you ever had.

if you dont act on them , it means you are aware of those urges . for someone to be truly bpd , he/she has to act on them.

yeah yeah i know not to self diagnose. i stopped going to the therapist/psychiatrist some time ago due to some other reasons. i probably can't go to one for at least another year. i've been diagnosed with ptsd and an eating disorder among other things so maybe i'm confusing all of these for bpd. also smi? i couldn't find what that meant sorry for bein a brainlet
yeah, that's what i suspected too. i've had these urges for years though, and it's only been recently where i read about bpd that i feel all the signs describe me. i met girls with this in psych wards but i didn't think i could have it because they always lead a certain lifestyle that was very different from mine. i go from suicidal to homicidal quite easily and although i feel like a threat i don't want to go back to the psych ward again. any ideas about what may be wrong with me?

so what if you are self-aware enough to know its wrong but still sometimes just fuck shit up and end up doing it anyway? i.e being physically violent, manipulating others, narcissism

do these urges stop when you take your medications ?i think thats normal

SMI is a term most people know when they are clinically diagnosed, it's a good litmus test for faggots who get on here and LARP. SMI - Serious mental illness, it's a clinical / legal term.

Bpd here.

My personal life is a trainwreck. I hate the weekend. I want to go back to work, I don't do retarded shit there.

i used to take meds for depression, anxiety, ptsd etc but they didn't do anything for me (probably because all my problems are caused by ongoing circumstances) so no nothing's ever stopped these urges before. i cut people out of my life if i feel like i'm going to do something that'll hurt them. i'm not the same user as the second guy btw
cool, thanks. i've never heard them use that term

Not him but I'm not physically violent at all. My rage moments aren't even directed at others, it's always myself. For the manipulation, I'm not sure that's really the right word? It's more like you just react and then immediately wonder why the fuck you did or said what you just did. Manipulation implies some kind of machiavellian 4D chess which trust me, I'm too dumb to do.

I'll give you narcissism though. I've got great Affective Empathy where I can tell someone is hurt and want to help them but I'm completely shit at Cognitive Empathy where you try to imagine yourself in others positions. I'm too self-centered, though I am trying to be more mindful of others.

BPD for me is complex. I'll try sum up my shit as concisely as possible.

-I developed BPD from being abandoned and abused for 18 years from a mom who was on a LOT of amphetamines from her psychiatrist.

-I struggled for a very long time with friends and anytime I join a community or meet a person, I warn them that I am 100% going to just disappear one day.

-No IRL friends to speak of, I live with my dad currently and my only friends are on Discord cause you gotta compartmentalize.

-I lost a daughter through her mom's neglect, because of this and my mom and sister, I absolutely hate women.

-BPD has made me strangely charismatic and people are drawn to me because I very effectively communicate with my actions that I do not want to interact with them and people like this trait.

-I have had 6-7 "best friends" that I would tell 'I love you.' to every day. I ghosted on each one, I don't feel bad about it, but I know they are angry.

-I don't view myself as a human, I basically read Jow Forums and play vidya all day, I don't even like walking in front of family I live with.

-I have been entirely unsuccessful trying to be anything to anyone up to this point and frankly have given up. The risk of suicide is less thinking about it and more like holding in a sneeze.

-I have moments of clarity where I see other people as humans and it's very disruptive to my thought process and I realize how far away from everyone I am, but quickly forget about it when I get busy again.

BPD is a death sentence, by the way. It's not cool. Being a psychotic depressive is also not cool. Hallucinating is disruptive as hell and it's very difficult to get used to even after a long time. Last night, I saw someone crouching in my floor and reaching up to touch an anime statue of mine from the floor. All the time, I see hands reaching around doorways or windows to touch things, every time I turn around I see ankles or elbows as if someone left the room just as quick as I turned to see.

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Some other oddities, I masturbate to emotions more than sex. Because I hate women so much, I will also just find clips of when women are beaten or raped and just fap to that. Sometimes I'll watch hardcore BDSM on pornhub or something but I am 100% looking for that mixture of terror, fear of death and regret, it's all in the eyes.

I'm like the other user in here, I'm not violent with anyone because I had a dog when I was 16 or so and I beat the ever living shit out of it. It was a big German Shepard, it would piss in my carpet and I would beat it until it laid in the floor and just screamed. As an adult, I realize how extreme this was and why everyone wanted me to get rid of him. I only had him a month before I gave him away to spare him what I was coming to terms with at that time.

Music, certain characters, other peoples emotions are the only thing I can identify with, I am totally incapable of feeling love, only manic idolization and dreadful despair. Little things ruin friendships and I drive those things off cliffs at the drop of a hat.

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>every time I turn around I see ankles or elbows as if someone left the room just as quick as I turned to see.

that's fucked

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I'm kinda in shock. I handle my issues way better than
does and yet I still cannot maintain a friendship.