Tfw when i want to open my self to someone and tell everything how i feel...

Tfw when i want to open my self to someone and tell everything how i feel, but i dont have anyone who would understand me or even listen to me. Even Jow Forums doesnt want to talk with me or relate to our problems while being lonely. Im so desperate of simple contact with an other human who i could talk to and who is not my family member.

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One minute im happy and think everything will be okay with me one day and an other minute im already sad and ready to cry about how everyone hates me and ignores me. I feel like empty place to others. Like they cannot see me. Like they look at me right througth me. Literaly anything distracts them from being with me. Why this happening to me.... I never asked for it

see? i told you. People like me are doomed to be alone. Here is no way you will find someone in your life no matter how hard you try. You will never be confident. You will never have friends, girlfriends, kids. Nobody will ever love you. If you wasnt social human being at 6-8 years old. Then you will never be. Accept your fate. If you are 18+ and still virgin with less than 2 friends. You will never change. I dont think its possible to find happines when you were growing like that since early childhood. You cant train old dog new tricks.

I personaly dont even know where it all started. I was depresive all the time since middle school. First time i was humiliated in my life was when i was like 8-9 years old in primary school. I really had crush on some girl. I really fcking liked her even before i went to school. But at school she hated me, she was laughting at me and she probably knew that i like her and i will not tell her anything back when she makes fun of me, Eventualy all school girls were making fun of me. My crush had rich parents who were good friends with school teaches (both teachers was females and yes it was only 2 teachers). My crush was always lying to teachers how bad i am at something. Both teaches started hating me too. I remember one of teaches was always screaming at me. As kid i was so scared i couldnt even tell a word from that schock. Then they used to call my parents to ask them wtf is wrong with me. My parents never fought or tried to protect me. I used to cry atleast few times a week before sleep. . Maybe those bitches made me some sort of trauma back in primary school. Back in primary school i only had 2 friends from that school who were my cousins (both males). My crush used to tell my cousins that im gay and some stuff like that. To this day i feel like all women hate me and there is no way some woman would like me,

I'm pretty good at relating to people with whom I disagree.

Try me.

My problem started when I was 7. I loved that girl so much but she pinched me and laugh in front of my friends. Hard times. I never recovered

After primary school i moved to other school. There i found really cool friends. But i already couldnt talk to girls. Classmate girls was never laughting at me tho, they were coolest chicks in school or maybe they were just understanding. I was so shy, i couldnt even say "hi" to them in the morning. I used to just smile instead. Students and teaches noticed that i smile very often (i only smile when i want to tell something, but i dont know what or im just too shy to say that). They used to ask me why im smiling so often. They were making some jokes about it, but not insulting ones.
Years were going, my friends got girlfriends.They used to ask me more and more why im still single. We finished school, im still single. I finished school 6 years ago and im still single and even havent seen my friends since. Im literaly alone now. No chance of finding new friends. Not even talking about finding girlfriend.

She just pinches me. My crush broke me mentaly. She used to call me names infront of everyone. She used to lie things about me behind my back. She made everyone to hate me.

its really depresive to remember what happener to me back in primary school. I really wish i could go back in time and smack that bitch in the head with a metal chair.

I just wish i would have someone to talk to... even just on internet.

I'll be really frank with you: where I live is already nighttime and right now I'm too tired to have the mental capacity to be a decent listener, so I can't be the person you seek for.
I reply to you, though, to bump your thread and keep it up.
I hope some user with an honest heart and more time and energy to dedicate you will help you express your pain and even help you a bit.
In the meantime, I only want to tell you that if you try hard enough, day after day, I'm sure you'll find a way to be progressively less lonely.
Don't give up, user

you are this depressed because you are holding on to this memories , i had a similar experience in my childhood. Crush always telling lies behind my back, turning everyone over me, i was lonely and got over my depression only in my 10th form. And now looking back over this moments the feeling off hate is trying to capture me and i need to remind myself over and over "there is no point to hate her now, its only making me feel like shit". This sounds cliche but, try to get over it, this memories is only weighing you down. Like there is no point hating no one. Imagine this:
>You have an enemy
>You hate your enemy
>your enemy doesn't know you are hating him
>enemy living a normal life
>You with your feeling of fury and revenge sit and boil your mind with all this bad thoughts and feel like shit
And now who feels depressed you? or your enemy?

tell me about it .
origimani

to be honest. i just want to punch her in the face if she would do it again. But honestly i dont really care about that any more. I have forgot that long time ago. Now im just naturaly depresive all the time. Not becouse of what happened to me in the childhood. I just today recalled that thing what happened to me in childhood when i tried to recall since when i started being this depresive. Im apolosise to her. i hope she's fine. i know she wouldnt do that now. But that doesnt change me. i was depresive introvert shut in my whole life, i dont think i can somehow change and be social again like i was before primary school

It's not over, you can still be social and live a great life. I know that for sure, because I was in a relative similar situation as you are. I read a lot of self-development books, have done psychogenic drugs and left my comfort zone very often. It's not easy, it was the hardest time of my life, but eventually I made it. I am somewhat social, have many real friends, less self-hate and I am about to fulfill my dreams. I can't give you a step-by-step guide, but what really helped me was to find a goal. Find out what you want to do with your life. It has to be something challenging and fill you with fear and excitement at the same time. Find out what your destiny is. What your purpose is and dedicate your life to it. I can't tell you how to find it, but here is a small hint: Imagine what you want from life, forget how hard it is and how impossible it seems. Find something that you TRULY want to do. Doesn't matter how unreachable it seems. And then learn how to get that. Read books, listen to podcast, read blog posts about people who have done similar things and become the person that you need to be to fulfill your dream. A lot of people will call this advice "plebbit", but it's the true. The only way to find out of the dark is to search for light and follow it, doesn't matter what happens.

I see that you have massive mood swings. I also had them in my teenage years and i got over them by doing sports and making a eating routine. Before this i was really shy and scared, when i came home from school i was siting on my computer until late night, didnt get enough sleep, and, maybe this is just me but when i dont get enough sleep the whole day im pissed off, every movement, every sound makes me burst. Then my PE teacher said that after the lessons we can come and play volleyball, at first i was really anxious but somehow i get determination too go, i was interacting with my classmates and they explored and understood me better. Sports made me less shy, eating regime stoped the mood swings and i could concetrate on my homework.

condense this shit op
im not reading a fucking book for every post

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to be honest, im okay being shut in anti social autist, im not okay being lonely. I just want someone be arround me from time to time.

nobody is making you to read, just move along if you dont like it. You dont need to attract attention to yourself like that.

So you are lonely and looking for friends? That's a hard one. Finding good friends isn't easy, you have to meet a lot of dicks until you find someone decent. I had the luck to change myself, when I was in the last year of school, so I made friends and met people from their circle. Don't know your situation, so it's hard to tell you how to proceed. Do you have any interests that could help you meet people? Sport, hobbies, vidya, cousins?

this is part of your problem.
you expect people to deal with your long-winded spiel when you could just condense it so people would even be willing to deal with you.

you're selfish, and because of that you won't find anyone.

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how can i condence what i wrote? thats not something you can explain with 5 words ffs. If you cant even spend 2 minutes to read the text, i dont expect any help from you then.

isnt thats typical when someone who is lonely is looking for companionship?
At the moment i dont really do anything besides going to job, playing video games and making food. I dont even like making food, i just make it for my self, cus i eat healthy.

Honestly I can't give you a good advice, but as someone who read a lot of self-development books, I can recommend you to read a few books regarding this topic. It can't hurt.

cut out the whining

so you read it?

then kill yourself
your pathetic mindset will already make your life a living hell
even if you do accomplish something youll forever be haunted by the fact that it's all down hill from there.
not to mention your mindset will always devalue your accomplishments and highlight your flaws.
lol

i dont have many accomplishments, theres nothing to devalue.

good you're ahead of the curve atleast you know that even if you do something it will be worthless.
i dont see you refuting to kill yourself do you agree with my statement?

I didn't bother reading your thread or even entirely your post, since I just want to masturbate asap, but I'll tell you this OP: DON'T! If you are a smart rational man, like me, you will realize this won't help you at all. You will just feel so vulnerable and little bitch afterwards that this opening up would have done more harm than good. And trust me, people don't forget the things you tell them and they'll forever change their views on you, even tho you might not notice it at first.

It won't help you, at fucking all. It does more harm than good. Just keep to yourself and keep going. Trust me, there is no other way. Or there might be, I don't know, but this one isn't. Please don't.

well, maybe i told it wrong. I dont really wanna cry out about how i feel, i just wanna have someone to talk to.

And you don't even have to cry about it. Just stating that shit will be a very bad and retarded decision that will influence your life for the worse. Trust me man, after the brief relief you'll feel short term after opening up to someone, only shit will follow. I say not to do it, and that's it from me. You choose what to do in the end, and you decide which random autist from a latvian moose riding blog you listen to.

We all know the answer OP, but only a few dare to do it.

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just say you have a vagina, and a bunch of thirsty fucks will listen to whatever you say.

i didnt read the post but i feel like the jews have something to do with this

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