The nostalgia is fucking killing me! I know people say how we romanticize the past and all, but god fucking damn, it just seems like the worse things get the more and more nostalgic I am for back when things were better.
Anons, do you suffer from nostalgia as well? Does the fact that you can't return to those beautiful moments pain you?
no it goes away fairly quickly, stop being such a newfag
Suicide. One year left.
not anymore, I've just accepted that the rest of my life will be suffering, whether that's 1 day or years I won't know until it happens (even if)
Learn to live in the present moment, it isn't going to magically get better without any change to your current lifestyle, everyone suffers nostalgia because years make you polish your memories to these perfect fabrications of how the events went
You weren't perfectly content when you were having your best Christmas ever, your sweater was itchy, grandma was snoring, the carols were grinding your ears and the cake was too sweet, but in your memories it was the happiest moment of your life when you opened that brand new present you really wanted and everyone was in a festive mood
Memories lie to us, make your current life worth living and learn to live a simple life content with simple pleasures and stop worrying what other people think of you.
What bothers me is how objectively shit everything got around me.
My life has remained more or less the same for a long fucking time. I have always been robotic, never had many friends, never been successful with girls, kept mostly to myself, played a lot of vidya, watched a lot of tv, you get it.
But I've watched tv, movies, video games, consumer culture, retail industry, economy, community optimism, general sense of morals, willingness to participate in community events, and so on go to absolute shit in my lifetime.
I want it to stop.
I don't want to go back because I think I had it better or something, I realize I didn't. At my absolute best I was still the weird autistic kid who a few other autistic kids hung around.
But at least then there was a larger culture I could participate in that was fun and engaging.
Now... everything looks so hopeless and bleak.
Everything's closed or closing. Amazon is taking over the fucking world.
Decent video games are so rare I find myself playing old ass games more than anything made within the last 6 years.
It's gotta stop.
It's gotta get better.
>tfw it has hit the point where you're so fearful of people abandoning you that you cut a connection loose the second they even show a real interest in you because you can't stand the idea of them getting 'tired' of you
Nostalgia is something I think I feel towards old internet, but I've legitimate never felt a feeling I could call nostalgia.
That might be because both my parents are horrid alcoholics and every childhood memory I have is ruined by them arguing with each other so everything that could be considered something that someone would think back on in a nostalgic manner was nothing more than an escape from it all for me and my brother.
I only suffered nostalgia when my only company was Jow Forums. My brain constantly pushed up good memories from the past, my crushes, my unrequited love moments.
Facebook was somewhat helping nostalgia - up to 3-4 years ago permissions were absurdly shitty, thus I used to stalk all of my crushes, getting sad when they updated to "engaged" or "married".
One of my crushes died because of cancer. Three fuckin days thinking about her, thinking about how many faggots would have confessed to her (I wasn't able to), thinking how fucking fucked up life is. People may die virgin, kissless, hugless, dateless, literally, because fucking cancer before 35 years old.
I survived - I'm now quickly approaching 40 and still virgin -, but it's been some weeks I got a fucking job and had to literally spend time with a lot of coworkers, socializing because hurr durr nomikai and shit, talking because between two customers requests there are even 30-40 dead minutes waiting, so I have now quite rare depressing nostalgia moments.
stop user, you're hitting too close to home
I don't know man. I've had some moments where I looked around at everyone around me, smiled, and thought "I want this moment to last forever". And even in that moment, it saddened me knowing that that moment wasn't going to last forever.
One of them was when I hiked up with my friends up to some place we hiked up all the time. We were sitting on some rocks, over-looking our city. It was so peaceful. The air was clean, we were laughing our assess off over some jokes, my dog had his head on my lap. Then I looked at my dog and thought "I could sit here forever."
And I felt some pain when we finally decided to hike back down. It pained me then to know that some day, we'd hike back down together for the last time.
Which part, user? I'm honestly curious.
>tfw your parents are functioning alcoholics and that has lead to this weird mindset about them where you simultaneously completely love both of them yet hate them with your entire being because them being sober and them being drunk is literally like interacting with completely different people
>alcoholic father
>insane mother
>poor
>parents divorce
>get thrown around by the system a bit
>drop out of college
>take up the bottle
>start experimenting with drugs
>enter psychosis and depression
>tune it down to weed and beer
>10+ years NEET
>no luck with women
>finally see light at the end of the tunnel
looks like the ride does end eventually
>tired of living in your shell and finally try to be honest with yourself
>everything turns to shit and you lose a friend in the progress
hey at least you weren't the one left behind right, but don't worry life has a way of working out in the end, just might not be the ending you were aiming for but life is a torrent of shit so count each day you don't catch any a blessing
abandonment issues, both my parents neglected me growing up so I am terrified of getting to know other people since I don't want them to leave me, so instead I just never get close to anyone so they can't leav me
>made the mistake of getting close to someone
>let them walk all over you just to keep the relationship alive
Why do i do this to myself
Are you proud of me now father
Do you love me now mother
>intentionally sabotage relationships and myself so I don't find out if I'm truly a failure or not and can tell myself I could've done it instead of actually trying and seeing and being potentially devastated by the truth
>>finally see light at the end of the tunnel
that's a freight train, you faggot
holy shit niggers
ok.
>fear losing the other person due to you being too distant
>fear losing the other person due to you trying to be too close
>fear losing the other person because you're afraid they don't love the real "you"
>act like a statue to not ruin anything while obsessing over ruining it by acting like a statue
all board the sweet release express of permanence
>intentionally do things you know they dislike to stop the relationship from developing so they dislike you due to those things instead of potentially not liking you once they discover the real you further down the line
>try not to be a statue and be overly extroverted
>hate yourself for faking extroversion since it's not really you
>still fail anwyays
>feel afraid of getting close to people because you know it will not last and the closer you were the more painful it will be and you ain't sure if you can handle loss again
>so you end up never making any new relationships to fill the hole that was left when you lost your old relationships
>end up empty and alone
You're not wrong. I remember childhood before the internet. Definitely wasnt perfect but at least I had hope. Now the future is here and Im out of chances
For me it's less
"i wanna relive those beautiful moments"
and more
"take me back, i need another chance, this isnt fair!"
You think suicide can take you back those moments? Only two things worry me about suicide, hurting my family and just coming back to the same life with no memory of it.