Tfw my only friend is my grandfather

I'm already used to having one irl friend. I don't mind it that much if I spend most of time online and have niggas at some gay ass discord servers to talk to

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN
And I thought witnessing predicted trips on b two days ago was something

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Not too bad yourself, kid

Oh shit I accidentally got dubs while checking on quads
Maaaaaan I'm feeling like mom added some chloroform to the soup

Is my brother my friend? We spend 24/7 together, granted it's because we're lazy pieces of garbage who refuse to get up but still.

who else /absolute zero/ here

>no friends, online or offline
>family is extremely distant
>people at work dont even know my name

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I'm
I used to be that way. I still sort of am. I only talk to him on weekends.
I never thought it was terrible as long as I could distract myself.
Either this place or Football Manager.

At least you have us. Are you socially anxious/autistic or is there another reason for you having so little (0) friends?

Mostly this. Being honest.

>people at work dont even know my name
How is that even possible?

I moved around a lot when I was young, and suffered from depression and more or less became a shut in. I then worked a labour job in an extremely isolated area (camp of 60 people). I have nobody, really. After working for 4 years Ive finally saved up enough to go to university this fall. My dream is to have a job in the city where I can meet and talk to kind people.
I'm over my depression now, and I'm a kind person who can make conversation, but I'm nervous since I dont really know how people socialize beyond that. I'm really excited for the opportunity to finally speak to people, but I'm scared since I dont really know how to make friends, or what that entails. I've been alone for so long that letting people in to my life makes me feel.. naked, if that makes sense.
Even now, I feel like I'm saying too much. After having nobody, I feel like I have a tendency to spill my heart to anyone who cares.

He's living in Stanley Parable

Just experiment with people. Chances are you'll fail multiple times before meeting someone with whom you'll vibe with on deeper level. and, It's good that you got over your depression, keep a positive attitude, things with get rough sometimes, but it's okay.

>only friend remaining has the face of a neckbeard
still a very fun dude

I'm curious how u got over the depression things? how it happened?
and what sort of people do you try to converse with? is it just anyone let's say you meet at a bar?

>Even now, I feel like I'm saying too much.
You're completely anonymous, no need to worry at all.

I feel like you have a bit of a warped perception of what making friends involves. I'll try to give you a quick rundown;

When making new friends, for the first month or so you will need nothing else but the skill of making conversations. Find people who share your interest, and generally people you feel the most comfortable around. You don't immediately have to open up, intimacy will form though shared experiences. Honestly, if you are capable of sustaining conversations and doing stuff with them in your free time, that is enough to make some friends. The world is full of people, and at a university it is very likely you will meet like-minded individuals.

On our infrastructure project, we were all specialized equipment operators. Since I have nothing to do, I'll greentext what my day was every day for 4 years
>wake at 5 am
>walk to mess hall for breakfast by myself
>meeting trailer at 6 am
>everyone gathers around, foreman gives the plan for the day
>i am the only person who runs a special piece of equipment, so they refer to me by my title, never asked my name
>7 am drive to work area
>im on a seperate section of the site, working alone with my machine
>work 12 hours
>drive back at 7 pm
>supper alone at mess hall
>shower
>sleep
>repeat

i would do this for 40 days, then have 10 days off. i have a really cheap apartment that i just kept my things in since i was never around.
the crew at camp rotated more than i did so nobody ever got to know me, let alone speak to me. im surprised my mental health is still okay. i think its because i read classic literature so much that i have a bearing on reality. still trying to break my habit of talking to myself or narrating everything i do though, because at the time it made me feel less isolated.

The area I worked in way 210 km away from the nearest town of 200 people. No cell service, no internet.

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>i think its because i read classic literature so much that i have a bearing on reality.
>i think its because i read classic literature so much that i have a bearing on reality. still trying to break my habit of talking to myself or narrating everything i do though, because at the time it made me feel less isolated.

Dude, this is heavily crushing. idk but somehow this what I want my life to be like after moving out of my parent's and getting a similar tedious job. I wouldn't describe my life then as negatively as you did. But, I'm not sure, I have to get there to know.

>You don't immediately have to open up, intimacy will form though shared experiences
>Honestly, if you are capable of sustaining conversations and doing stuff with them in your free time, that is enough to make some friends.
This.

Thank you, it's kind of you to take the time to explain things to me. I suppose I'm overthinking this.

Looking back, I'm not sure how I did. I kept spiraling deeper and deeper from the time I turned 13 to until I was 18. I can't really condense 5 years, let alone the 4 after that. In November of 2015, I tried to kill myself. I was all alone in a bleak and threatening world. I failed, because I was didnt hate life. Only those who truly hate this world can kill themselves. I was just afraid. Afraid of how powerless I felt in such a big place with no one to help me.
While I can say that one event was the turning point, it wasnt one thing that changed my perspective. I actually feel embarassed because I cant provide any solid advice outside of philosophy. Ridding yourself of depression and melancholy and the feeling of impotence takes a long time. I've come to realize that most things in this world arrive at least 2 years after you deserve them.
In this world, you have to have a passion. You have to have something to life for. The job I did was dangerous, but for no good reason. In the blink of an eye, families lost their fathers, for no reason at all. Seeing people die for absolutely nothing is... I still dont know what to call it. Disheartening isnt enough, and motivating is sickening. I had a weak grip on life until I realized that life doesnt care what you think of it. Life has no meaning, but you can give it one. You can't just float forever. Avoiding problems isn't a means of solving them.
Embarrassing as it is, my motivation is love. All I've had over these past years is stories, and the ones of love spoke to me the most. To have someone who truly cares for you, who gives themself to you, and you give yourself to them in turn. A feeling so powerful, yet so gentle. I can't think of much that is more beautiful. I'm sorry for rambling, but I just feel like for the first time, my life has potential.

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Thanks user.

>I actually feel embarassed because I cant provide any solid advice outside of philosophy.
You can try. I try to read some classics and phil too. Would be nice if you rec some good reads.

>Embarrassing as it is, my motivation is love.
Glade is worked for you. It didn't for me. I just can't trust other people. Everyone is in constant change including myself, If i can love something/someone today and change simply my mind tomorrow then everyone can do it. what I'm trying to say is that if I'm not capable of love how could I trust anyone to be.

Like I said, I feel guilty that I can't provide you with any substantial advice, however, advice is merely a trick that worked for someone once, and seeing how everyone is different, it's not always useful.
I do see that you are self-aware, and willing to work on yourself. Based on that alone, I will say that you have great potential. Few people are brave enough to reflect, and find it easier to blame their problems on what's around them, not within. Knowledge of oneself can be the most valuable of all, if used correctly. Periods of asceticism and introversion can be very useful, if you actually use it to ask the important questions, and not just wallow. Just know that they cannot last. I believe Jow Forums calls it cocoon mode. If you dont emerge at the end, there is no use in it.
As for literature, I won't recommend anything. I mostly read 17th to 19th century classics, not pure philosophy. I enjoy seeing the action, then interpreting the reasoning behind it, than debating the implementation of the reasoning. It may be base, but I find it more engaging and accessible.
Good luck user, all I can say is not to give up. Everyone has their reason, you need only to find it.

I didn't know siblings could be friends. My little brother is my only friend then. My elder brother is too busy being a normal shit to pay attention to me anymore

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Wait your only friend married your grandmother?
What the fuck is his problem?

Alright, Thanks again. Good luck to you too.

Ikr what a prick getting free gilf pussy.