So, did any robot got actually laid by doing this?

I don't like going to the gym. Could I buy kettlebells and work out at home for results?

>have like 20 matches and 30 likes
>too autistic to message any of them

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are you sure you're using a flattering photo of yourself and not something spergy? If your face isn't your best feature, make sure your photos highlight your personality or at least look normal enough to show you're not a serial killer

I once swiped yes on someone who was definitely a robot because his bio was just "ask me the name of my sword" (he had a literal katana in his photos)

L O N D O N
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irigami

I don't have a personality. At least trying to "showcase" it like that feels so fake and makes me cringe inside and want to puke.
I'm a real robot unlike that guy you swiped on, ugly inside and out. I'm just confused how I never ran into a bot, I get why no woman would ever want to give me a chance.

he was not very attractive and definitely awkward, but I'm an actual person seeking interaction rather than just going after a set of physical traits so it didn't matter

I think you'll find the right person if you want to, it unfortunately just takes so much extra effort as a male because society is gross etc

>3 matches in 7 months
>all bots

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I highly doubt I'll ever find anyone, at the very least tinder won't be the way, no matches no chance of even trying to talk to someone there it's the definition of pre-rejection. If you're actually the way you say you are you're a one in a billion person

but for this and the question in the op

>go on tinder
>all girls are fat labdwhales, single mothers, thots, or bots.

I found a colleague of mine on tinder, i fancy her. Not sure what she thinks about me, should i like her?

how does one take a flattering selfie

I tried to get into tinder, i'm even pretty normie-tier compared to most of Jow Forums (please don't be mean) but none of my friends take photos, so I would have to resort to a selfie

the problem is I feel like such a fucking faggot tryhard when I try to take one I just delete it and get drunk and kick myself for even considering trying tinder, as if anyone could like me anyway

Do it faggot. Caring about consequences are for losers.

I got laid once with the app not too long ago. She looked really pretty and fit on her photos. Her bio even said she did fitness and jogging.

When I met her, she turned out to be a semi-landwhale, was disappointed, but smashed anyway.

I had to do it too. Just bite the bullet and do it desu.

>Caring about consequences are for losers.
>r9k

I've been using it for a week now. Got two matches both of which stopped responding after the first couple messages. I want to get better pics but need a job buy sunglasses and go to events so I seem "active" or whatever. I guess ill wait.

Shag that slag in the back of her car mate.
She's clearly a slut or she wouldn't be on a hookup app.

this is my problem too usually. tinder is pointless without a decent text-game

I sort of know her, and she not. Shes a nice girl.

Shes got a wonky eye tho, i sort of think she just wants caring since chads dont want "broken goods" and she never had anyone because of her disability.

Yeah but I'm probably a little above average in looks, so its only come from the girl pushing to meet up

Im dogshit at messaging matches so I have no advice

None of them are ever really gf material so don't go into it expecting anything good

Success is 90% about looking good in pictures

Hit it off really well with a girl for like a month, everything was going so well thought it was in the bag for sure. Still managed to blow it somehow and decided to cut it off completely. I was so close fuck

How do you fuck up?
I need this for research purposes since i dont even get replies.

Gonna kill myself if I don't get a match by the end of the month

Met my gf on it. Well, I already knew her when we were kids, but we had lost contact in elementary school when I moved.

just use the front camera (the one facing you) on your phone and watch what your face looks like as you move the phone around at different angles, until you find one you like.

a lot of e-girls have youtube tutorials on how to get a flattering composition if you really need guidance, but personally I think all you need is 1. good or at least clear quality and 2. a neutral, but approachable facial expression (don't force a smile, don't look straight into the lens)

I feel pretty tryhard doing it too so my personal trick is to look sideways or way off-camera. Sometimes it makes me look bored/impatient but I think if you're cute enough it looks endearing and more interesting than normal smiling selfies.

All this advice doesn't matter if you look like a robot though. If you're not blessed genetically you're better off never trying, remember this robots, women judge very harshly and even harsher on tinder. If you're below an 8/10 then give up, you are not meant to be loved

>but none of my friends take photos
you literally just press a button. how do they not.

If you're ugly your friends don't want photos of you

you ask them to take a picture with your phone

I don't want to start an argument because I accept that women are fickle and we have it much easier in this field of life and subsequently many others, but
>If you're not blessed genetically you're better off never trying
>you are not meant to be loved
is just inaccurate and defeatist.

Everybody deserves to be loved, and I wish I could show you what some of the guys I've matched with or crushed on irl look like. Even if you're hideous and overweight I guarantee you there's an equally hideous and overweight girl for you out there (and yes, she is probably receiving offers left and right from other guys, but that's just how it is on this bitch of an earth)

It's not inaccurate you only believe that it is because you're a woman and it's true for women. Everyone is born with a set value and then increase their value by doing things in life, men start with zero value, but women start with a lot just by being women. That inherent value in the social marketplace is what makes women deserving of love.
Men on the other hand can have no social value very easily, these men like me deserve nothing, as we have no value to give in return. The equally hideous and overweight girl is dating up based on her inherent female value, that leaves her male equivelent to date down, but at the lower values of men there is no down to go to.

tinder is used so women can have sex with chad. sub 8 males have no business using it

>look at profile/bio
>pick anything to make a comment on

i've never gotten laid or met anyone on tinder for that matter but I get replies most of the time and extended conversations maybe 40% of the time

>I get replies most of the time and extended conversations
that's why you don't get laid beta boy, alpha chads use tinder for logistics only

i'm aware of that, I have mega anxiety meeting new people anyway I just like the occasional ego boost

I don't tend to match with stacies anyway, they're usually girls with a little more going on upstairs

>you literally just press a button. how do they not.
I don't know, because it's kind of lame to take pictures desu
I'm really not ugly. I'm not a model, but I'm pretty ok looking
Also, I have objectively attractive male friends that slay, and our friend group takes the same amount of pictures of them as me--none at all.
Thank you for the actual advice; you're a real pal. I'll try again soon maybe.

WHAT THE FUCK IM SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT WITH THEM?

you are supposed to make a shitty pun and set up a date technically

it doesnt matter, the only thing that matters is minimizing the amount of time from first contact to setting up a date/sesh
if you can say something witty or funny that has to do with their profile you're gucci

Swiping right on everyone makes the algorithm think you're a low value user (a bot) and as a result shows your profile to fewer people

>low value user

Well it's not wrong there. I didn't always swipe right on everyone I got no matches when I was very selective too.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT WITH HER DURING THE DATE?

any dumb shit can come up with. the more frivolous, the better.

women want emotions, as long as you tease them and they are having fun it's ok

Don't give up hope yet. I had been using tinder since it first came out, and I met my girlfriend through it this year

Talk to her like you would talk to any of your male friends. Keep it light and casual

shirtless pic yay or nay? i'm fit with a nice chest and a 6 pack

Yeah, but were you getting no matches at all? I mean my time isn't worth much, but it's still a waste to swipe for nothing.

I was getting a few, but not a lot. Certainly not an amount I would brag about

I lost my virginity to a guy on Tinder.
>Talk for about a month daily over the phone
>Finally got over my fear and met in person
>Had a coffee date and drove to the lake
>He made a comment, "This is perfect,"
>Noticed he had the seats in the back of his truck down
>Realized he thought we were gonna have sex on our first date
>Talk my way out of it but we do have sex about 2 weeks later

I ended up dating him for 4 months but I learned my lesson to never meet anyone from there and think it would be something really legitimate. It's a hookup app thats all

Keep your shirt on. It does nothing for women and makes you look greasy and generic

>any of your male friends

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>the more frivolous, the better
>tease them
this person has it right, teasing and inciting a sense of competition are a good way to keep somebody's attention/interest

a really simple opener that has worked on me in the past is "what's the best (piece of media in a genre/subject i like) and why is it (their favorite)?" as long as you're not patronizing, this can set up for friendly arguing banter

You're already worthless though, that lesson cost you everything

Sorry. I didn't mean to rub anything in. What I meant is that you don't have to talk to women any specific way. Just talk to them like you would any other person

you sound like a woman so i'll ignore you opinion

Sorry, but I'm male. You can still ignore my opinion if you want, but I have that on good authority. I am curious as to why you would trust a man's opinion on this since they seem to think that women are turned on by them posing with dead animals fish

because women ARE turned on by them, it's just that silly girls don't know what they what/say one thing and do another

Still better than nothing. Giving up is the only logical thing in my situation

the girls you are talking about are trashy "feminist" thots who will tweet slutty shit about six packs and dick prints or whatever but then act really mean and "ew creep" towards the actual guys because they think they are sex goddesses that deserve to be rude to you

if that's the type of girl you want, go for the shirtless pic

i'm talking about all the girl who have a vagina between their legs.

>then act really mean and "ew creep" towards the actual guys
because the guys are clingy and cringy usually. if they met a "hawt" guy they would go along very happily

you still sound like a woman

this

I would've been a sad, lonely virgin if not for tinder. Now I'm just sad and lonely.

I'm not sure that the ones who are turned on by it will be the kind of girls that you're looking for, but hey it's your tinder. Lemme know how well it works out for you

I'm a different poster and you should listen to women if you're trying to fuck women, you ingrate

You don't know what real loneliness is

Think you replied to the wrong user there.
Women say the opposite of what they want. So yes listen to them, but to the opposite of what they say

>you should listen to women if you're trying to fuck women
spotted the virgin whiteknight. how that soy diet's going?

women don't know what they want, if you listen to woman you will end up frienzone at worst or simply dumped at best

you sound like a woman again

Oh I did. Whoops. That was meant for

tinder is fucking scammy, I used chad pics and still got 10% matches at most here in northern germany
using my own pic I barely get any matches and those I do get, they dont reply to me
But it feels better knowing a lot of those profiles are dead

Here you go. This is just for you

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Top Kek -- I never installed it on my main phone. I live in a wasted town of a fuckedup eurocountry and I'm somewhat of a public person, thus I cannot risk anyone finding out I resorted to tinder because I can't get sex (worse, I never had sex, but whatever).

On my throwaway phone I created a quite elaborated fake female profile and never swiped anyone - not even females - because I love to think people wasting their time craving for this delicious educated 9/10 girl wishing for a good relationship. Basically I'm catfishing people craving for more than casual sex. I guess I "birthed" a number of MGTOWs because AWALT - all women are like that.

Anyway it's been the evolution of my previous hobby - on a dating site I used to chat pretending to be a gentle cute female wishing to quickly settle / LTR, humiliating and destroying guys as soon as they made their first move. I remember shattering in pieces the heart of a guy who pretended to be a Hurr Durr Helicopter Pilot and didn't know anything about JP8, JAR, floaters, and shit he mentioned (he's still smashing his head on the wall telling himself "why did I have to fall for a girl whose former ex was a chopper pilot?")

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Relationships aren't these fairy tales where you fuck and cuddle for hours on end and play your favorite songs for each other. It's being dragged along to meet her friends that you can't connect with because you have social anxiety, having them look at you like a freak because you're quiet the whole time, and then seeing that indistinguishable look on your girlfriend's face when she's realized she's dating a loser. That feeling sticks with you. Makes me wish I'd stayed in my bubble.

You're a fucking cheeky cunt aren't ya.... cunt.

>the absolute (and original) state of Jow Forums
baka

That's still 100% better than sitting alone all the time with no one to speak to as you slowly rot away into nothing. Im not a virgin either I've felt both and one is way worse

i wish more of r9k was capable of this kind of thinking. i met my gf on tinder almost three years ago but sometimes i feel lonely even when she's around. i like math and physics and programming and stuff; at the beginning of the relationship she loved to listen to me nerd out over something i learned, trying to explain it to her. now i just get "sorry, i don't really get it" or "i'm not really in the mood to hear about that" and then she goes back to browsing pinterest

>sitting alone all the time with no one to speak to
I still do that though, difference is now I have someone whose constantly disappointed in me when I do it.

Those are actually intelligent and useful interests though. I'm usually sympathetic to most of the "normie" girls that people describe on here, but if she isn't interested in learning something interesting then that's on her; that doesn't make you boring.

i don't feel boring and i don't feel my interests are either. the lonely feeling comes from her being clearly uninterested in me talking about the things i love. she's into photography (and is actually good at it) and i like hearing about the different ways she edits and composes them.

the point is, suffering isn't a competition and one person's loneliness doesn't negate another's. feeling alone because of no gf is just as valid as feeling alone because of apathetic gf (or gf who judges you for being a loner)

>people itt complaining about having gfs

Fucking really? Guess you'll complain to some starving people about how food gets you bloated sometimes too

I feel especially distant when I get into relationships actually. When I'm single, I'll stick to my interests and don't have to think about what other people think of me. Being in a relationship brings out all the bad, because I realize how much I don't belong again and have to face all the insecurities I bottled inside.

Wouldn't you want a woman's opinion or are you a faggot?

Don't fall for the myth of "hours of cuddling and sex".

She will be talking about a lot of stupid things and never cutting to the chase. She will always be demanding your attention about moronic details and she will instantly notice you wasn't following her speech. She will misunderstand every single one of your remarks, especially goodwilled ones ("why does he compliment me NOW and HERE? does it mean three minutes ago he noticed some MINUSCULE detail?").

You will have to cope with her jealousy about anything, yet she will think she's entitled to spend a night at her ex's place because "hurr durr lost the last bus and he lives nearby". She will make you pay for every single one of your wrongdoings (real, virtual, and literally non-existent ones as well), yet she will feel entitled to your

And all of that will happen -albeit in a slightly different way- even with totally submissive girls.

I bet there's a solid 1% of women not showing that kind of shit. Yet I saw perfect personality girls going apeshit for some small details (and that's why my friend who married one of them enjoyed the prenups he wisefully demanded when he laughed at her subtle escalation meant to divorcerape him).

>tldr, romance only exists in fiction, sex+cuddle only exists in fiction, happy marriage only exists in fiction -- the only reason a woman is wife material it's she being totally and definitely devoted to husband, house and children, and yet prenups are absolutely required to avoid any whim escalation

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>wanting women's opinion on anything, especially about what they want
kek, hello roastie

You still get hours of sex and cuddling with all that bs too. Me and my ex-gf spent most our time together cuddling even if she was talking my ear off. She has no contact with her exes either

Are these the ultimate roastie pants? The only thing missing is the pantyhose with the big net.

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I played around with it when I was living in San Diego. Got three dates in my first couple of months before I moved overseas and deleted Tinder so I don't wind up in an orange jumpsuit in the desert somewhere.

Anyway, here's the rundown.

1st date(s): we go do your typical coffee thing at mid-afternoon, decide to go out to a movie that night. She shares a ride to go back to our respective places and asks if I want to come in but whoah this is my first tinder date and I'm a lil bitch so I decline and she's legitimately disappointed. Doesn't seem interested in seeing each other any further.

2nd date: short, cute blonde girl. A little on the chubbier side (not fat though), but at 4'11" it accumulates a little easier I guess. We go grab a drink and I rub her the wrong way because she leans a little more to the right than I do, so we wind up calling it.

3rd date: go see a movie. Hit it off really fucking fast and go back to her place. We see each other and I sleep over multiple times over the next month or so, but eventually it comes out she has quite a nasty pill habit and I'm about to be leaving so we call it off. We still talk and she's engaged to a guy I knew from beforehand.

In short, there's nothing really special about Tinder.

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Fucking normalfag piece of shit, like getting a date with anyone isn't a special thing. I hate you

Nani the fuck
Also why isnt Nani the fuck original?

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well, at least she's honest with herself