The weeks finally over /aus/bros, how're you holding up?

The weeks finally over /aus/bros, how're you holding up?

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Fuck mate, terribly. This job man. I got an Arts degree and now I'm in front of a computer every day, just every day the literal same thing. State government so I just deal with trivial bullshit. Anyway today I fantasised about suicide for the first time in my life, yeah I know probably babby steps compared to here but fuck me man.

>have actually been in a good mood lately
>was feeling fucking amazing actually
>have a shower
>get out to my parents arguing
>something clicks in my head and it's like all the negativity I normally had came rushing back
I'm worried, the things I was thinking about earlier while in a good mood I can't even comprehend me doing now.
Plans for tonight are trying to push it back down with alcohol and hoping for the best.

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Not bad I just took my estrogen and feel good, my penis is feminine (6.4 inches) and have 2 cute guys who want to fuck me

Missed the dropout date for uni because parents forced me to not quit. It is so much worse than school I know no one and can't mentally conprehend any of the work given to me

Yeah we all relapse and for seemingly no reason. This may not be news to you but invasive thoughts come from the limbic system, which is arguably kind of different from what you consider to be "you", and it's kind of underdeveloped and retarded. Which is why so many of our thoughts are irrational.

This sounds like a meme and some people get frustrated but I can honestly give you the answer: when the thoughts come, when you feel the negativity "switch" - just observe it. You actually, quite literally, can't control the thoughts. And not only that, thoughts are more than just the sentences you put together in your head, thoughts are the sounds you hear, the images you see in your mind, and those very vivid, keen and strange feelings of being in a different "state", that's actually just a thought as well. So again, observe it.

The thought comes, you watch it. Don't chase it, don't judge it, and *don't* get angry, upset, sad or disappointed with yourself for thinking it. It works off that. The thought comes, you see it, redirect your attention back into whatever it was you were doing.

This is honestly the only way. It's annoying to hear because it can almost take months, fuck, years, for it to work properly, but you will find relief in the short term as well if you commit to the practice.

u r all fags.

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>Stable government job with no heavy lifting
My heart bleeds for you.

U 2 matey

Wow, great post. Will be taking your advice.

Nice trips roo rubber

Shabalabba doo razza ding don catxhwow

Gonna smoke a couple cones of bud and then watch the movie Sunshine, anyone got any good sci-fi movie recommendations?

Which ever movie inv9lves you killing yourself is a good one

Finished jury duty... Now back to being a NEET. Gonna get my "happy ending" massage tomorrow too.

what degree are you doing mate ?

Neet fuckwit. Go kill yourself, bitxh.

Had an interview with woolworths today.
I managed to get through the whole thing without sperging out.
Kinda hope I get the job but I'm gonna miss the NEET life.

Also I'm thinking of getting into IT since I don't want to spend the rest of my life stacking shelves, can anyone with experience in the field give me some tips?

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Before I seemingly dismiss it all, I just want you to know I've read the whole post and I wont forget it. It was informative to me, so thank you. I'll read into the limbic system tomorrow because I don't think the info will stick if I read it now.

The problem I've got though is the fact that this good mood (more or less absence of negative thoughts) and happiness I've been feeling are the intrusive thoughts in comparison to the way I've felt for the last 6-7 years or so. I've been feeling "good" for a few weeks now, but I think it was brought on by the fact that I realized I had never once really tried in my life while I was on the verge of actually killing myself. I quite literally just woke up the next morning having changed in mentality towards everything. The click in my brain made more sense as me returning to the way I was instead of just intrusive, negative thoughts. I guess I'm just being a whiny bitch about it in the moment instead of seeing how I feel later, so I guess I should actually try and ignore those thoughts/feelings and see if I wake up with them tomorrow instead of dwelling.

Again, I really appreciate your post. Thanks.

I jerked off for 14 hours today

How much would do those massages cost? Asking for a friend.
edging for that long seems like it would be really unsatisfying, I get bored if I go longer than an hour.

No problem mate. I still get them myself, but when you see them for what they are they stop having power over you.

Just remember to redirect your attention. You will find that having these issues will actually benefit you in the long run. Your mind, your attention, it's like a child, or an adolescent - it honest to god just wants some guidance. So practice moving it where you want it. This starts at the micro level and moves all the way up.

For me it started when I was watching tv (when I started the method myself). I would be watching The Sopranos and the thoughts would come, immediately I would think "fuck! no no! I was happy, I was watching the sopranos everything was fine, fuck!". So let it happen, think the thoughts, feel the feelings, observe it. But then -- just go back to watching the Sopranos. I liked to remind myself first: "Okay here's Tony. Why is he here again? Oh yeah that's right, his lawyer told him to lay low for a bit. Oh shit and now his friends found a bunch of WW2 gear lol he loves that shit". Boom, in seconds you're back in the trance, happy, doing whatever.

Now I use this example to make a point. You begin this sort of discipline even while you're doing something really unproductive, watching television. But you are actually building a skill. Eventually you can apply this very same principle to everything. Like I said, the mind is like a child, it just wants guidance it is **receptive** to guidance. And in the process of fixing your mental health, you begin to train yourself and your attention.

Now I do it for everything. At work I notice whenever my attention strays, if I'm daydreaming I go back to task, and it's as simple as that - just go back to the task. "Wait what was I doing? Oh right, finishing this report."

And like a child be gentle with the mind. Just tell it. Just rest a hand on it's shoulder, turn it the way you want it, and give it a nudge. If it misbehaves, you don't get angry, it's just a child after all.

>rest of family went out to bumfuck nowhere in the QLD gemfields for a week, leaving the house to me
>had all the time in the world to shitpost, jerk off, and play vidya
>came back today, reminding me of how much they annoy and piss me off with their presence
>school resumes in a week and 2 days, with the colder months coming in so I can now sit in a cramped classroom where it's nauseatingly quiet to the point I sweat in anxiety.
Feels fucking bad. If only they stayed out there forever, because the week I had with them gone was one of the comfiest weeks I've ever had (minus the ex-tropical cyclone threatening to bash down my windows with a tree)

Well I've got $150k sitting in the bank but chilling at home playing video games is more fun :)
Depends what you want. Baseline is like $50 for 30 minute massage + happy ending from an asian chick. Most places are just old roasties but you gotta enquire about the young girls. Also they have different styles etc. so try find the one that suits you.

>27
>live with parents
>got first job 2 months ago in warehouse
>casual position 35-38 hrs a week
>on days off don't do anything productive at all even though i want to get back into web dev

need to make more money.. what extra work could i do on my days off? either online or in real life. i'm terrible with people and don't have a driver's license.

What position did you apply for? I did night fill for a year and the money was excellent.

Yeah this can be common. You almost want to forget feeling good, because the fact that you are feeling good, reminds you of how shit you felt, and it actually scares you that feeling good is still a real possibility for you and you don't want it to slip away or whatever.

(I think that's what you were getting at).

And if you were, you have the exact idea. These are just thoughts too, let them come, they are a totally natural fear. They, while not being completely negative, have the same effect on you. They get a reaction. Reaction trains your brain. So fearing the return, being aware of where you are now, these are unproductive trains of thought as well. And they are patterns too, you will begin to notice which thoughts lead to which thoughts, and you will realise how funny it actually is that your brain will play routines for you - thoughts come in sequence like anything else.

see pic related by the way.

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how old are oregano you

>I've got $150k sitting in the bank
no need to lie, user
we all know you're barely making ends meet with your cenno bucks :)

Applied for night and day fill, hoping I get night fill though, sounds comfy and like you said the pay's great.
I remember one of my old teachers telling me about when he was a manager at a supermarket some of the nightfill guys went home with more money than he did.
19.

Would you finger hex?

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yes by god absolutely

>doing drugs
Get outta my country fuckhead

Yeah its pretty comfy. It is very full on work, physically speaking, but the endorphin hit from the 6-hour workout is pretty good. That, and you'll get some nice muscle after about a year.
Plus, yeah you can often make more than the manager if they are only the office types. Generally though, nightfill managers have to do the same work as the grunts, plus run the operation, and they get paid a whopping 50c an hour more. At least, thats how it was where I was.

Ive heard from someone who met her that shes a bitch

Jesus, how old is she now? I feel like she'd have hit the wall pretty hard.

>50c an hour for way more work
That's fucked, guess I won't be chasing any promotions if I get hired.

True dat! Original

I can finally sleep. Weekends are the only time i get any sleep these days, weekdays it's bed at 2am and up at 6am every fucking day.

You'd think that would be soul crushing, and it was for a while. These days i don't feel much f anything, it's almost like there's something magical deep inside me that allows me to get up every morning without a second thought. It's hard to explain but i think this is what being normie feels like.

Goodnight cunts.

Nighty night fuckhead