Femanons, why don't you just get an experienced grandpa bf?

pls originally do this bampity bamp

Because they have erectile dysfunction.

more like eREKTile dysfunction amirite lads?!

lmaoooo

I'm not going to get into it, but basically I graduated a couple years early, and was offered a pretty prestigious job. However, one of my coworkers (who was, by pure coincidence, a family friend I had not seen in years) massively fucked me.

>be 16
>my dream job just blew up in my face
>one of my closest friends just fucked me and our mutual friend over
>said friend was institutionalized, his wife left him, his life was a fucking mess and he was now a country away so I couldn't help him
>in New York
>have no money
>parents don't know where I am because I ran off to do this job and obscured my location from them
>know my dad's friend lives in New York
>I don't know his exact age, but he was about ten years older than my father, who was 25
>so we're looking at least 50 years old
>he's not home
>wait outside
>it's raining
>I get mugged (I stupidly flashed my remaining cash while getting food)
>go back to his house
>break in
>he comes home

what is her name?
I need to know she looks cute

i have one and he never has a boner and never wants to

Gosh, how do I get a slut gf like you? Pls

>i have one and he never has a boner and never wants to

maybe you're just ugly lol

>he ends up being cool with it
>I steal some booze from his fridge
>we chat, he encourages me to keep trying at work, talks about a similar shituation he was at 24
>we play guitar for a bit, he gives me pointers
>watch a movie
>i lean my head on him
>totally turned on, and really drunk
>he's actually pretty handsome
>he's like a perfect Aryan except skinny fat
>had the biggest crush on him when I was a kid
>start sitting in a way that my breasts are sticking out
>I'm already wet so my nipples are popped out

>keep nuzzling neck
>we talk about the movie but stay in place
>he's playing with my hair (I used to have it down to my ass)
>trail my nose along his cheek
>kiss his cheek
>he starts gripping my arm super tight, enough that it hurts
>he asks if I have a boyfriend
>I was a virgin
>honestly, I was a frumpy nerd back thin
>say no
>honestly admit that my only friend in high school dumped me during the after party for prom
>I didn't even go to prom
>he says he didn't either
>not because he wasn't invited
>but because he thought it was lame
>we laugh
>I suggest we dance

I sort of have a grandma gf.

>we play music on his record player
>we dance
>we both start air guitaring on each other's backs
>I let him play lead and I tap out the rhythm guitar
>I push myself flush against him
>he hugs me
>we stop dancing
>he has an erection
>I can feel it on my leg
>immediately feel horny
>mumble, "I think there's something between us."

>we both start air guitaring on each other's backs

LOST IT
O
S
T

IT

UNIRONICALLY KYS

>he pulls away
>I trail my finger along his arm
>"I used to have such a crush on you, when I was little."
>keep staring at his erection
>lean in
>kiss him
>accidentally hit his teeth
>he laughs
>"you're terrible"
>chaste kisses on the lips
>longer ones
>he holds my arms
>pulls away
>"You can't let your tongue lay flat like that."
>our tongues encircle
>he says I have a funny quirk of going "ah" after I kiss like I'm drinking a bottle of coke on a hot day
>grab his erection
>he sits down on the couch and pulls me on top and starts bouncing me

SHUT THE FUCK UP

STAWP POASTING!!!

>be 16
>than my father, who was 25
Your father was 9 when you were born

Attached: 1519932040540.jpg (720x687, 67K)

One of you be my gf

You are nauseating fuck off. We don't want your greentext we want you to leave you nasty whore

No, he was 25 when he had me.

Hey, I was just doing what those other anons asked. Sorry my OC was disappointing, anons.

No you were being an obnoxious fucking whore. Those anons don't matter, you should have never even asked. Now leave norman

Where did you get this air guitaring on people's baxks idea? Honestly it killed the whole fucking story. I've never heard of that. Where did you even come up with that idea? It's not even technically air anymore if you are plaing on a dude's back. It is more like a skin guitar. Or a skin paino. JUST GROSS MAN.

They hate you because you're female not because of your story

You're story is ok other than the fact that it makes me jealous

>not because of your story

What? "Her" STORY sucks.
KYS. You're a freaking beta suck up fucktard/

Disgusting

I hope he gave you a yeast infection

>obnoxious
>asking and obliging
Hey kettle. Name's pot.

>leave
>norman
1. Probably been here longer than you.
2. You realize I'm going to just go post in other threads, right?

Haha, I don't know why this upsets you so badly. I was just tapping out the chords as they came along.

>female
Well, obviously.
>makes me jealous
Haha, don't be. Literally everything preceding that (the job thing) was absolute trash.

I don't give a flying fuck about anything you have to say. Just leave whore.

>don't give a fuck
>keep giving me yous
>clearly upset
Uh huh. Sure.

Hey now post a throwaway and be my gf

>you've been here a while
>you still get mad when autistic robots get triggered over the fact that you're a woman

it's not exactly unexpected behaviour from him

Being out of touch with today is a good thing. Today sucks

>Literally a disgusting grandpa cumguzzler

massive kek, imagine having such a massive failure for a daughter

>mad
Now that's some projection.

If you had a bf would you tell these dirty little sex stories to him?

too fat and ugly desu

Hey ignore him and be my gf

>if
I can do you one better - I have a husband. And yeah, we're talked about this stuff. That guy at the beginning of my greentext? I ended up dating him a few years later.

>little
>as if I don't ramble

Your father was 9 when he had you? Lying roast spotted kys

Do you have a way to contact you please

cuckd by big grandy cob BGC

pic is particularly related

Attached: 1523006351604[1].png (1000x1502, 1.41M)

>I have a husband
GO AWAY

Oh, cool, I'm glad for you and your hubby. How does he feel about it? I'd think it's hot if I were him,

why? i just said old men are fat and ugly

samefagging this fucking hard lul

>feel about it
Flippant. It's like how I feel about his ex-wife.

Sure it takes one to know one.

Attached: sorry you're mad.jpg (612x575, 69K)

A silent generation boyfriend would be much better than today's closet gays and men into cucking fetishes

>pic
I was considering suicide, but if that's the kind of virgin awaiting me in Heaven I'll just start bankrolling immortality research instead.

you're a fucking whore and a slut

>A silent generation boyfriend would be much better than today's closet gays and men into cucking fetishes
Wow rude

You're a fem, I'm a robot, and I'm not old fat or ugly

Tina Blade

>Flippant

You think that.

Deep down he knows you're a fucking whore and he can do better. I know this cause my fucking whore gf fucked an older dude when she was 15 and the guy was 28. I pretend it doesn't matter but it does. Shes worthless to me just like you're worthless to your husband. I don't give a fuck about her ex-boyfriend but that older man fucking her infuriates me.

Fuck you for doing that to your husband you dumb cunt. Hope you remember this post when you find out he's been cheating on you.

>was divorced and remarried by the time you were 16
Wait, how old was your husband?

Ten years older. He got married super young. Actually, I sort of lied in my previous post. I feel flippant about the other women he's been with. I really hated his wife and so I have a sort of smugness about the situation since the reason she left was because his life did a tailspin - and then it got way better after she left.

Nice effort! I'm sure the fact she left you has zero to do with why you're this bitter.

Young doesn't mean pure anymore. People look at graphic porn at age 11

>anymore
Oh please, people in your parents and grandparents generation were fucking more than people nowadays. They probably had less freaky kinks because of porn, but you're so wrong (and probably super young) if you think that people weren't always horny.

Parents generation yes because they were post sexual revolution. Grandparents generation no because they were pre sexual revolution. The kinks today do make it less pure. Let's not kid ourselves.

And fucking one spouse more all the time is purer than having mmf threesomes once a month

>sexual revolution
It wasn't even a cultural thing. There was the pill, and there was a time when there wasn't. And even before that, people were still having dry or non-penetrative sex.

>less pure
Violent sex was always a thing. I find that way less pure than some teenager with a giantess fetish.

lol what the fuck man

What's with all you Al Bundies on r9k? Go play bowling or golf or whatever it is you old guys do

Yeah, but porn literally warps people's brains, makes them more likely to believe in violent ideas.

I never understood why some men get so angry to see an older man with a younger woman. It has to be jealousy. There's not a man alive that would deny he wants a girl 10+ years younger than him. You're just mad you don't have the charm to get one.

A girl ten years younger than me is a literal child

Any single fembots that would like a bf? No girls with exes pls

Okay, well don't deny you would want a 15 year old when you're 25. This was the norm back then and it worked better than today's single mother roast-infested society.

I am so confused by this post.

I'll concede that. I just find people (especially if they're young) going on about the good old days to be a bit naive.

To be fair, I think there are people who do object to May/December romances on grounds of power imbalances, etc. But you're right about that other user just being mad.

Why won't normalwhores just leave our board?

you're a pretty cool femanon, if it's not bait. pretty good.

No she's not, she's a typical /soc/fag that is shitting up Jow Forums, just like you.

>that older man fucking her infuriates me

Let the butthurt flow throw you, as they say

I wish I could kiss her feet tbqh

>some dude under the age of 22 ruining a thread

So TLDR what happened?

>some normalfag ruining the entire fucking board

Thanks!

TLDR? We made out, he made me orgasm via grinding/titplay, and I sucked his dick. Then we passed out, he made me breakfast, and then my friend/future hubby's sister got into contact with me so that I could reach him, and then I went home for Christmas.

Cheat on your husband with me you old whore

are there even people 50 or older that use Jow Forums?

bump for single slutty fembots

uh no user we can't let women post anything fun because the underagedbans will reeee

But I want to talk to qt fems

nope, sorry anin, women who try to post OC on a board dedicated to OC need to be ree'ed at until they stop posting

I don't care about the OC just fem