Looks like I won't be needing this place anymore

Just got diagnosed with stage IV cancer.

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How did you miss the other 3 stages?

Goodbye. Better luck next life.

You might be fine, user. I was almost there, and I made a full recovery some fucking how. It was like God spit in my face and told me to suffer.

Oh shit my dude, that blows. Hope you saw some feels in your time here, good or bad. Have you looked into experimental treatments? Stanford is looking for test subjects if I remember correctly

I really worry about getting melanoma because I am pale as fuck and have been sun burnt way too many times. Screw dad for making me go outside when I was a kid and making me get shitty jobs outside as an adult.

>stage IV cancer

what's that? a tumor?

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let us know if the afterlife is worth it or not

Sorry to hear that friend, what kind of cancer?

Do you know how long you have until you're dead?

Meme cancer. It's already spread to my feels.

Sounds like a great way to die.

rest in original peace my friend.

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Did you just fucking prank me? sonofabitch

lucky for you user, it's unironically your ticket out.

>tfw so terrified of this happening to me

IT'S NAHT A TOOMAH

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You are mentally ill get help or do what you want

Does this mean we can expect an r9k deadpool?

Might death take you quickly.

I want to die, take me instead of this user.

I really hope youre not who I think you are

It's been an honour serving with you user.

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At least it's not stage V.

i'm so sorry user
I'll be praying for you

sucks m8, if you're well enough, get started on that bucket list

chuckled (sorry OP)

Well, look at it this way: you might be checking out of this shitstorm and having peace. Some people work their whole lives for that, and still end up suffering to the bitter end. Nature will fuck every one of us, everyone commenting will one day be dead. There is little need to panic. I'm so sorry that life has done this to you. Nature is a cruel bitch. Don't give up the fight. No matter what she does, no matter if you live or die, you still win, because you existed and had meaning. I believe in you user.

Did you go on reddit recently ?

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Remember user, you should never go out with a whimper when you can go out with a bang.

Godspeed gent.

BRO!
WHY'D YOU LET THEM DIAGNOSE YOU!?!

I was diagnosed with renal failure this week OP. My liver is in pretty bad shape too. I'm only 30 years old. I probably won't die any time soon but I'm not going to live anything close to a happy or full life. In short, I might as well be dead. I know how you're feeling.

Also, don't drink, kids.

>OP dies
>OP in heaven in front of god
Op - why did you kill me god ? I'm too young, I had a good life :'(
God - ssssht OP don't worry, you are in the nicest place I ever made, nothing can hurt you from here exept your memories.
Op - can I go back to Earth ?
God - you can't, this your destiny and I decided it.
Op - that was planned all along ?
God - No, I bring you here to tell you something important.
Op - mh ok, tell me, I can't deny my destiny I guess.
God - *kof kof* YOU ARE A FAGGOT !

OP got a new life in heaven, he bought a house and he felt in love with an handsome man.
God continued is usual life.

END

That many stages and you still haven't unlocked all of the secret characters.

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how much did you drink, user?

i drink fairly often