Weird things you used to do thread
>be 12
>first time fapping
>scared of staining something and getting discovered
>not sure where cum would be coming out of
>thought it came from around the dick
>wrap my dick in toilet paper and start stoking it up and down
>barely cum on toilet paper
>did it until around 21th birthday when I realized where cum came out of and gained confidence to catch my cum with the toilet paper
what a fucking retard
bcb
you haven't realized that for 9 FUCKING YEARS??
>21th birthday
Also, where the fuck else would it come out from?
>drank apple cider like it was bourbon, rum, or some alcoholic beverage
I can't be the only one
My glands or some shit, before masturbating my only interaction with my cum was the smegma left around my dick head so I guessed that's where it came from
You know those rubbery plastic lego tyres that came in sets with cars, well I'd often slip 'em off when I was a kid and just chew on 'em like a stress relievant.
I just stole from my dad's liquor cabinet. He had gallons of Popov vodka on hand at all times.
I used to hold every glass like this and act drunk but it was always orange juice or some shit
When I was 22 I went through a phase of trying to eat the family horses shit (we are richfags)
I was big into bestality at the time and there was a film I found of a fucking hot girl eating horse shit so I wanted to feel like I was kissing her. Luckily my parents caught me the first 2 times, and started installing alarms in the barn so they could beat me if I tried.
I used to catch those weird flying ants and wrap them in toilet paper then put the toilet paper ball with the living ant inside in my foreskin and leave it for some time to see how long they would survive.
2 tbsp 3 times a day with lemon and cranberry juice and mostly water before meals is good for health user.
Well at least you weren't banging the horse like that other user.
I use to be able to suck my own dick but I got fatter and now its like 2 inches from my mouth at most
>heated a cup of apple sauce and fucked it burned my dick still have a scar
>sprayed axe on my butthole and it burned
>fucked the crease between the couch cushions
>wore my ugly fat stepmoms panties and jacked off
when I was 7 or 8 I used to put my finger deep in my butt to feel the turd and take some pieces, never ate it or anything I just liked to do that.
I used to play with my own shit as it came out.
Now I just watch girls pooping
I did that axe thing but with orange citrus air freshener and on my dick and balls too
it was horrrrrible
I use to do that but I would suck my finger off so it wouldnt be covered in shit
Lol what was worse was the complete confidence i had that it would be fine
I thought it was just going to make me smell good I went into it like it was genius
Koakuma kunny
uwawawaaa
I just told this to my gf and she found it weird
Pic related, is her
>be me
>middle school
>first time masturbating
>don't know how to look up porn
>look up "vagina" on wikipedia and masturbate to that
Jesus Christ how the fuck did any of you live this far?? Smh
crease between the cushions is something we've all done
I put broken dry spaghetti noodles in a matchstick container to snack on instead of eating dinner.
I was super fucking ritualistic with eating them too.
>used to fap in the middle of the class, daily
You people don't know weird.
never did that but if I got hard in class I would grab it
In fourth grade there was this British girl in my class who would always be rubbing her pencil on her pussy
major boners
>when I needed to fart I would lay on back, feet up and gape my ass, spitting on my fingers and filling my asshole up
>putting breast enlargement cream on my dick
>It burned for 2 hours
>Imagine myself ass a souncloud rapper
>piss in the sink at 3AM
>fapping in my garden when everyone else left the house
>fapping on my roof (two story house)
>would go into my dads car in the heat (backyard) leave all the windows closed, basically an oven in there and take off my clothes, sweat like a pig and fap, the sweat acted like a lube for my entire body. Almost passed out
>When I was 22
Holy shit lol
i once put a kitten in my underwear, it felt so comfy
>grab sandwich baggie
>grab Vaseline
>put vaseline in baggie
>grab dicc
>put dicc inside lubed up baggie
>put diccinbaggie between box spring and mattress
>turn on some porn in front of me
>go at it
>actually feels like real sex
>shot loads
>feelsgoodman
put a glass coke bottle up my ass
Same. Except I used to do that to my grandma's bed
>used to have higher self esteem
I still wrap paper round my dick. I haven't actually tried catching it. Thanks OP.
This is probably the worst one in this thread
Ahhhhhhhh Fucking kek my sides!
>shaved my pubes because i had sweaty balls and thesweat got caught i there and i smelled like shit
>got super fucking irritated and had to go to the doctor
But did you ever get caught and keep going? I thought so normie
>used to rub phlegm on the bottom of school desks whenever i had a cold
>used to fap straight into my underwear and continue wearing it for multiple days
>grabbing a toilet paper or paper towel roll, lubing dick up, and going to town on it
>go to my cousins' house to play video games somewhat regularly
>aunt is a single mother who spends all day playing WoW, full on poopsocking NEET mode
>has a computer for herself in the living room and two more for my cousins set up right next to it
>cousin whips out his dick one day while he's on his computer and starts jacking off with my aunt sitting right next to him
>thought it was weird, but decide to join in circlejerkin with my cuz while my aunt sits two feet away
>end up doing this almost every single time I go over for the next year or two as if it was completely normal
I also used to do this
Really??????????????? Og
>cried when I left the beach because I had sand in my pockets
>my dad said I'd get arrested for theft
>Haven't yet been hassled by the cops about it
Mfw dark past hasn't yet caught up to me
fucking burgers,
cider is alcoholic like beer
>21th
you're a truly a special boy
Fug I automatically read Apple cider vinegar
>actually feels like real sex
how the fuck would you know?
>tried to fuck a brickwall for a few years
>still hump walls occasionally
>cut skin on dick with blunt scissors
Beat that fags
>twentyfirth