Normies don't work on themselves, normies don't practice social skills...

>best self
It is never enough. No matter how good is a knife if you need a hammer.
> fear and desperation
Some people are just serious and find conversations about science stuff much more entertaining than about sports or who fucked whom.

Keep in mind most normies aren't even sentient. They're basically NPCs. It's only natural they'd be programmed at a sub-conscious level with the social skills to keep from getting killed by mobs.

>And if in the second place you decide to improve in such a way that ALL the possible definitions for these aspects are satisfied, still nothing happens.

If you made a million dollar a year income, I guarantee you would have friends and women. There is a point to where people will start to like you, you juat have to be willing to put in the effort.

>Some people are just serious and find conversations about science stuff much more entertaining than about sports or who fucked whom.

Then find relationships that meet that standard, or lower them. If you can not put in the effort to be "genuinely" interested in a person's thoughts and interests, then why do you want to be with them at all? Why would they want to be with you?

They won't like you, they'll like your money. I made 250k last year and nothing changed. I decided to pursue my dream so I quit the job. I could basically find the same job anywhere anytime, but it would be """only""" 120k-150k/y if I did. By all accounts that should still create a minor version of that effect.

>lowering virtually nonexistent standards
>possible
Fuck off normaltard.

>If you made a million dollar a year income, I guarantee you would have friends and women. There is a point to where people will start to like you, you juat have to be willing to put in the effort.
You have no idea what you're talking about. I don't have a million dollar a year income, but I have significantly more income than the average American household despite being a single male friendless loser

hey user, i can give you a real answer.

social skills are essentially interpersonal skills, meaning: it's about dealing with another person. it's something that employers like to hear about, because you could be talking about how good you are with working with your coworkers and such.

if you would like an actual method of building these skills, you should try visiting /soc/, or the occasional discord threads that pop up here.

what you want to do is "reach out to people"- that just means take the opportunity to add contacts. after that, offer sincere conversation, that's all! present yourself as a good friend, and if the other person does the same, then you have met someone valuable. but if they don't, you can call them out for being an asshole when you didn't deserve it. that's pretty much the basics of socializing.

an important skill from reaching out to a lot of people is getting an idea of how people function. like "normies" for instance, they're still complex human beings, and you could get to the bottom of why they act dumb if you took the time to understand.

but it's true that being yourself is important, though what flows from that might not always be appropriate. try to put a filter on yourself, and think about your most glaring flaws, correct them afterwards. normies don't mean "act like an autist", what they should really tell you is "look for people who appreciate what you see in your interests". so if you like video games because they're "interactive, visualized stories" then you can find someone who shares that view, and maybe they'll be more or less like you. if not, just keep them as a friend, and build your contacts further.

sorry for all the text but hopefully you find this useful for yourself. if you have any questions about love or something, just ask.

Thanks for the good reply user, I guess there must be some hint of truth to it. Everyone I reach out to just ghosts me though. I've never been able to make any friends especially girls.

I made 7 digits off bitcoin last year and I still don't have any friends or women.

You should look up schizoid personality disorder and try to come up with a solution that don't break the rules of that disorder. To help socialize.
Otherwise good advice.

you'd be more successful if you spent less time worried about everyone else/pondering all the ways life isn't fair

>They won't like you, they'll like your money.

Then the trick is to find people who like you, and your money. Now that you have external value, people have an excuse to justify their feelings towards you.

Then you havn't accumulated enough value. Continue to work on yourself in other areas.

Winning the lottery isn't value, it's luck. What are you doing with that money now? Are you being generous with it towards improving your life?

>Then you havn't accumulated enough value. Continue to work on yourself in other areas.
LMFAO

What the fuck does this mean? Stop saying vague bullshit like this, honestly we've all heard it a million times

What the fuck do you want me to do? What the fuck do you think I need to do?

I'm a professional engineer, I make well over 6 figures, I work out regularly, I read and study lots of different topics unrelated to my field of work, I've traveled a decent amount and am physically fit to a reasonable degree

What the fuck do you want from me? No, seriously, when the fuck will I be good enough?

Fact is I'm better than a lot of these loser normies who somehow manage to be very socially successful despite never "working on themselves" and despite having no real talents.

You literally don't even begin to comprehend even the first thing about robots. It's amazing. Every post you make you demonstrate that you don't belong at fucking all. Jow Forums was completely right about your ilk.

>Winning the lottery isn't value, it's luck
He had the foresight to invest in Bitcoin, that's not winning the lottery, you degenerate brainlet

>You should look up schizoid personality disorder and try to come up with a solution that don't break the rules of that disorder.

If you actually were schizoid you wouldn't give a shit about social shit and you be way less emotional . Youre just avoidant.

if you have a good heart, look for someone else who seems to have a good heart as well, then matches you in desire to express it.

it's a good idea to intentionally foster a few online connections with people who may be right for you, see if anything develops.

you wouldn't have crushes unless you were ready, so it's a message.

but please, don't freak out about the "friendzone" and shit. you really need to know someone for a long time to decide if they're a good human being. that means your future bf/gf will once have been your best friend. you don't need to make advances either.

the two of you will come to a simple conclusion: "this person is constantly making me feel good, and it would be wise to keep their company and see where things go".

online relationships are weak in regards to fostering a relationship, but it's still doable. ideally, you want to find out how that person behaves as a real person. outside of a relationship. have they shown themselves to be compassionate? have they spoken about the shitty people they've met, and does that include ghosters? have they expressed disgust for ghosting? because then it becomes very simple- you'll know they're as alive as you, and they wouldn't just ditch you. (much easier when you meet in person)

one more thing-

don't be too focused on meeting someone new with the intent to date.

it might not work out anyways, but you'll still have a great friend, and a community of great friends makes great people to talk to. you deserve to use all your resources available to grow as a person, and friends are one of them.

>Fact is I'm better than a lot of these loser normies who somehow manage to be very socially successful despite never "working on themselves" and despite having no real talents.

So what do you think you are missing? Have you tried working on that?

If you don't want to change, fine, but don't expect things to get better.

It isn't about the money, it's about the exercise in showing that you have value. That you earned it. Unless that user is now a successful investment banker, and continues to be, then having the money means little. Especially if you do not use that money to its proper potential to meet other people.

1. most people take years of practice every day for at least 4-5 hours of just straight talking before they become even slightly comfortable socially. anyone who says it was easy for them is lying to you.

2. if you want to be a normie, you should leave now. this board is for gay cuties.

You mean wasting money on bullshit like normies? Thanks, no thanks. I'm not a materialistic consumerist drone, I'd rather live frugally and use my money to invest in a safe and stable future for myself and retire early

If normies want me to waste money on flashy cars to attract their attention then they're failures

See, you don't even bother to read the posts you respond to. Because you can't even comprehend the first word you read. Because you're a disgusting, clueless, incompetent normalfag. You are weaker and fatter than us, and you make pennies on our dollars. But we have to change because clearly that's the only possible explanation, that you're superior in every controllable way. It's not possible that the exact opposite is true. I repeat what I said before: with every post you prove you have no clue what you're talking about.

You're a liar, back in preschool the normies were already making friends and talking regularly

Nobody has to practice anything, this is such a deluded viewpoint that I can't even comprehend it

Yeah and I want a new Ferrari. Face it its not gonna happen. Youre better off just getting a waifu. At least waifus are loyal

Fuck these normalfaggots. I don't care anymore, their advice is useless

Once I'm a millionaire like the other user in this thread and once I've lifted for years and have the body of a Greek God I'm going to come back and show these fuckers who was right all along, that I'm better than these normalfaggots, and I still can't get a girlfriend

As an autistic chad-lite who has no style and dresses like a grandpa, girls offered me sex/said they'd date me despite knowing literally NOTHING about my personality.

All that bullshit advice about being yourself is only relevant if a girl is attracted to you physically in the first place. If she's not, it's over. You can jump through the hoops like a monkey with your "game" and "confidence", but those only work towards sealing the deal after she's already attracted, not the other way around.

inb4 "but I'm a circus freak and my 9/10 wife loves me for who I am!"
Congratulations, you're an exception to the rule.

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because you've never really paid attention. almost nobody at that age fits in anywhere. some are louder than others but literally none of them are "normal"

i get that you chose to stay at a certain age mentally, but there are no shortcuts in life. especially socially. if you don't go through the process of learning cues and gestures and language at a basic level, you won't be able to communicate properly. now i say that it takes years for normies, but normies are actually not that big of a group of people. tons and tons of sheltered losers and awkward career focused people only go halfway. you can fit in with almost anyone you meet at a cheap bar, hobbyist circle, or concert. they're all awkward and slow and you'll have long silences for no reason.

>Only by surpressing all your negativity, laziness, and ugliness, will you be considered "yourself."
Everyone is self-conscience on some level unless you're entirely vain, so we all carry negativity
Most people (as if I actually know) don't enjoy the facade that everything is not perfect in their life but we have to choose how much we show people depending on how much we think they would want to see

The best answer I have is that we need to learn to approach people with a facade and engage them enough to see if you can both open your masks a bit
If you ever are lucky enough to have someone you can actually be entirely open with at any time you must cherish that friendship (even your lover can be that friend and should be)

>tfw I've had a couple of those friendships
>tfw I try to keep them emotionally close but we live far apart now
>mfw I have no idea how to build another friendship like that again, it just 'happened' before

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Absolute bullshit. Normal people develop these skills through their childhood. The fact you didn't learn anything in the numerous years you had and they did doesn't mean they just naturally acquired the things you failed to achieve.

the rule is that looks don't matter for guys. money and sense of humor and some level of confidence are important, sure. but if you can get anywhere with women on looks alone, you're the exception.

>normies don't practice social skills
right, so you're claiming that you were born understanding English and how to use a computer? want me to tell you how i know you're a lazy faggot?

>If normies want me to waste money on flashy cars to attract their attention then they're failures

Normies don't want you to do anything. Interesting how your autism automatically equates value with materialism. Says a lot about you fundamentally.

Being fortunate, having a good life, it usually isn't enough. People want to believe they deserved it, too. It was all just and right. That's the only way for them to complete their peace of mind.

>he says this, as he sits in front of his personal computer in 2018 with all the time in the world.

That's another standard you're holding onto. Value is not worth anything if you won't share it with others.

>Congratulations, you're an exception to the rule.

Most people on this board will have to become exceptional, because they have nothing else to offer, like physical attractiveness. Everyone understands attraction is largely physical, but there is more to it than that.

You're right, that's the next step in a good relationship. You can let go of "yourself" and be yourself, that's the ultimate goal. As is incorporating parts of that facade into yourself for the better. However, no one will want to see the face behind the mask from the start, which is where most Robots fail.

If nobody is normal, then nobody is abnormal either retard. That's how they get ahead. They're normalfags and it starts immediately at this stage.
All my life I've cared only about facts and truth, which is why I got buttfucked on the whole social learning thing, because it's a massive-scale snowball effect and you can't actually know what's going on until you're too old to be able to rectify. Neural plasticity is starkly reduced in adulthood which is believed to be the intelligence-wisdom tradeoff that enables being significantly more efficient in using learned knowledge. As a result, learning social relationships as an adult is harder than if you autistically studied it all your pre-adult life, except you're on top of that already expected to have it, and without being at least 'this good' at it, you can't even start to train it because you can't approach people.
Pavlovian effects still apply. If you try and try, but everytime you keep being punished for it, what the fuck do you think is going to happen? Your training is LITERALLY going to go backwards.
And that's not even taking into account genetic factors like social anxiety, not to be confused with timidity.
It's not like normalfags don't have their own problems. In fact it can be shown that most normalfags are significantly worse at social situations than a certain class of robots (for example how their idea of 'socializing' is going to starbucks and sit in silence while posting on their phones to facebook, while robots would enjoy discussing science and philosophy in-depth). Yet society changed its definition of these concepts. Normalfags are already bootstrapped, are dumb as fuck and only care about muh fee-fees. That's why they can keep going and stomach that crap. If a trend happens they can follow it because they already have a social network. Introduction basically doesn't exist for robots.

>wall of text
see this is lame dude. try again later.

>>people have flaws
>you're a person
whoa what dude you blew my mind
that must mean...
!!!
wooow
what a twist man

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>Excluding good information.
As expected of Jow Forums.

True, there's many aspects to attractiveness. It's just sad when the majority of people have to settle down with their looksmatch, while both parties secretly fantasize about chad/stacy that they will never get.

By exception I didn't mean betabuxxing and other forms of settling down, I meant people who love each other unconditionally which imo is relatively rare.

Ok, first put on a mask, smile and speak only when spoken to or if it's necessary. Don't make super edgy jokes (it's awkward). Don't open up. If you make a joke that is akward don't make it again and move on. Fake your feelings and act as if you're interested to make it look like you care about them.

This will go on until you realise every one does this., pretending.

I did this and nothing changed at fucking all.

> tfw you have went through it all, mentally. You've looked into all beliefs, every philosophy. You've believed in religion. Then you may have looked into agnostic or atheistic views. You can look into politics, race, virtue. You can become enraged. You can become elated. Then one day you realize, nothing matters, just as you originally may have thought. The world's completely chaotic, people are inherently violent, often foolish. We're sentient animals. We probably serve no purpose other than to exist. The normies can cry, and claw, and fight against nature. The normos existence is futile, though. I wouldn't want that artificial life. I became much less frustrated, when I accepted that i don't want, what normalfags want. Find things that you like, that interest you. Make a life for yourself that you love. Everything else is a lie.

That's because it's bad advice.

Speak when you want to speak, engage others in a polite and considerate manner. Don't make edgy jokes, but laugh after your own jokes, people will find you funnier. Open up, but only in small harmless ways. Dont open up about your weeb interests, or other potentially alienating things. Open up about that time you wore your shirt backwards for a day, or how that the Notebook made you cry like a bitch, people enjoy hearing degrading stories, but only if you take them in stride. Be interested, but don't fake your feelings. People can sense fakeness, and will appreciate honest interest over blind agreement. Realize everyone is pretending, but you don't have to. This will attract people around you that you want to be around you.

Except I have also tried this and it was even worse than the previous stance, so I regressed to it.

Are you fucking stupid? Why do you people do this? Why do you ALWAYS assume some negative characaturization of the personality of anyone who complains about experiencing this?

I don't "make super edgy jokes" and the issue is that I already only speak with spoken to you fucking RETARD

FUCKING KILL YOURSELF WHY DO YOU EVEN POST

Thank you user, I know you're right but it doesn't make me stop wanting a girlfriend. Just a nice girl to spend my life with like what is supposed to happen.

This is really accurate tbqh user

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It takes practice to really excel at those things, to become natural at them. If you regress, then you regress literally.

Yet more literal nonsense from a normalfags who has precisely no clue what he's talking about. What a surprise.

Exactly. Why is this too much to ask? And yet, never ever.

>I want to win the super bowl, but I don't want to practice playing football.

Just keep being angry, I'm sure that's working out fine, right?

>Biological imperative that the vast majority of people do without ever having to train or practice
>Equivalent of winning the Super Bowl
Kill yourself idiot

And answer me this: did Billy Bob Farmingdale in the trailer park down the road work on himself and his social skills and find his one true soul and love himself before wanting others to love him, when he had 8 kids with 3 different women? What did he do to earn that, as you seem to continually imply we all need to do with increasingly large standards no matter what we do?

>I tried everything I could think of and everything everyone has suggested I do and nothing has even so much as changed the situation, let alone either improve or deteriorate the situation
>equivalent to not trying
Normalfags everybody

What are you supposed to do in life when you have no interests or passions and hate working intensely and can't see yourself in any kind of career but aren't satisfied with being a forever alone NEET?

Frankly speaking, the social skills that normies possess are skills that they've honed since preschool. Literal decades of practice allow them to unconsciously do what you can only pathetically imitate after immense practice.

Some people are inherently born with the ability to socialize, to build relationships, even to the extent that they can work jobs normally and fit into society. Others like robots are not able to do this. They probably realize it early as their life slowly slips downward.
I've found that you have to treat socializing like a science. It's all a game of give and take where you have to test the waters and fail a million times and still have the will to go on. If your will is broken then you will never succeed. But if it is alive then you will continue to suffer until you succeed or die again.

t. never met a kid in his life,

children are retarded.

Exactly. And due to how they acquired it, they have no clue whatsoever how it works or how they do it. Thus they end up dealing their infinite asspull wisdom on the unwashed masses. My, how generous and magnanimous they are. Truly paragons of virtue, how can sad, pathetic, virgin robots possibly compete?

They are, but they "fail" upwards. And then you get the kids who fail so hard they never recover or catch up.

not really. if you isolate anybody they will cease to develop those skills. some people are mentally deficient, but that goes beyond social skills. autistic people literally hit their heads against walls because they don't understand physical boundaries or why they feel pain.

>fail so hard
they would never end up on Jow Forums. they would be drooling in a wheelchair. what you're talking about is "not trying at all"

This, spoken well. They did it subconsciously, it's just built into their brain, so they can't describe in autistic detail the process they used to acquire this social knowledge. Firstly because they are generally incapable of describing anything in autistic detail, and secondly because they just don't even know - it just happened to them similarly to how they can't explain to you how they learned to walk. They didn't struggle and apply any real technique, they just eventually learned naturally.

So they say "just be yourself" because that's literally what they did, and it worked. They say "just be confident and don't be awkward" because that's what they did, because that's just how they naturally are and they don't even need to apply effort

As such their advice doesn't apply to us because they have NEVER done and never needed to do what we are trying to do - to learn how to socialize from a blank slate when we literally lack the ability to naturally learn how, like they have

Their advice is useless

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That's just the thing. You're exactly right, most people are already good at "football." But you? You're crippled. You have to train, and twice as hard. You might not even make it. But maybe you might. You won't, if you don't at least try.

Billy Bob at least played the game. I can guess, that since you're on this board, that either you have either high standards, and aren't willing to date the toothless, broken, drug addicts Billy Bob is. Or, you're so afraid and insecure to even talk to women, that you don't play the field at all. Billy Bonlb though? He doesn't care. He's honed his don't give a fuck attitude his whole life. He's partied and socialized every weekend, while you're here shitposting. Billy Bob has spent all his free times with friends and family, and they have introduced Billy to all their single friends. Billy has crafted a social circle, and entwined himself on the outskirts of others. He may be a hillbilly, but by putting himself through hundreds and hundreds of situations to meet women, he finally found one who tolerates him. Lowering standards and audacity guarantees relationships, but that isn't what Robots want. They want someone to lift them up, to save them from themselves. To be ok with who they are, but that isn't how life works. No one is going to save you, or save Billy Bob. Billy Bib just found someone who is just as broken as he is.

>But maybe you might. You won't, if you don't at least try.
Not worth it.

It certainly is possible to try, but realistically speaking, how many rejections would it take before they manage to see progress? With each rejection another burden on the soul (remember, they haven't learned how to not let these things affect them yet), how long do you think it would take before they decide that the toil is endless, and the reward entirely out of reach?

What I'm trying to say is that it isn't easy, and even a person who turned out sociable might struggle immensely if he was in that position.

PIease respond. This was a serious question.

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How old are you? Do you have a college degree? Savings?

20 years old, first year of college but I will probably end up dropping out, about $10,000 savings and a bunch of student loans taken out

What's your major? Current GPA?

that's the meaning of life, sweetie. the problem in your thinking is that there is some ultimate goal that anyone reaches.

people who you consider successful get rejected or fail all the time in situations that they value. it's hard to even define a single standard for quality of life; a bad marriage or losing a child may be considered worse than living alone.

dealing with failure is the most important part of any process. idly comparing yourself with people who are nothing like you is a silly thing to do, but even that is a learning process. you probably made tons of shitposts that got 0 (You)s at times and now you are more comfortable about how you complain here.

Whoa.

Trip trip dubs. Beautiful. Checked.

This.
>>>/normiebook/

checked
but you wasted it

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Push yourself to try new things out to make new interests. When you finally find something worth putting effort in, everything will become so much easier. Just finding that passion is the hardest part. But it is possible even if you don't thing so.

Undeclared, like a 3.6

Okay, a 3.6 is pretty good. If you can keep it up you should do fine. Since you're undeclared you're probably agonising about picking a major. If I had to make a recommendation without knowing anything about you I would say either finance or compsci. Both pay well if you have good marks and can get good internships. Remember this: you are in college in order to find a job. You want a prestigious high-paying job, because then you can make money and, if you want to change jobs, can downgrade using your higher qualifications. Without money you can't do shit.

How does that sound to you?

>As such their advice doesn't apply to us because they have NEVER done and never needed to do what we are trying to do - to learn how to socialize from a blank slate when we literally lack the ability to naturally learn how

You say this like it is too late. It's not too late, you just have to put in the effort. You have to be persistent. If Chad gets rejected ten times, you have to be willing to be rejected a thousand. You have to play catch up, and really get out there and look, learn to have fun, and learn your place in the world. You've already analyzed the problem, good job, noe get out there and fix it.

WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO THIS AND GIRLS DONT HAVE TO DO THIS

ITS BULLSHIT - THEYRE GOOD ENOUGH

WHY ARENT WE FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH

OMFG

I told my therapist through email
>I've also learned that most of my rationalizations, explanations and conclusions about my behavior and actions are after the fact and often wrong. I could be wrong about every single thing I've said so far and it wouldn't be unprecedented for me. When I say I'll do something it's (much more often than not) because I sincerely believe that I'll do it, whenever I don't I'm almost never sure why. Sure I'll come up with some way to explain it after the window of time to do the thing has passed but these are just deep introspections are fantasies of nothing. I don't know why I really do the things I shouldn't do or why I don't do the things I know I should do and it messes with me.
and she didn't respond beyond saying my reflections were insightful and that I should get on depression meds. Normies literally don't know how to respond to the realization that most human action only seems to be done by a conscious actor beyond humoring you and telling you to get on meds.

they rarely are good enough. most are a shit.

FUCKING RIGHT!
Life is unfair. But you know what? At this point I don't care about any pain and suffering anymore. I'm just accepting anything coming my way because desu: I can't do shit about it.

That's obviously a sound plan in general, but I have a lot of internal roadblocks

1. I don't know if I could keep up in any sort of course that leads to a high paying job. Mathematics, finance, compsci, etc
2. I'm extremely shy and introverted and retarded and can't network and I worry about ever being able to find a job or internship or anything
3. The idea of working a job for the rest of my life is agonizing to me, especially if it's something I couldn't give a fuck about or don't like or understand

also I really wrote that poorly, think it was late at night, still, the meaning was there.

this is trash advice. it doesn't really work at all.

She's just a girl who decided to major in psychology and ended up going into therapy because it's an easy job that lets you make lots of money for just sitting and listening to losers complain about their lives

I used to have this attitude that I should try to find an intellectual and philosophically inclined therapist who would help me work out my issues, but there are none. They're all just dumb roasties who happened to go to school for psychology.

You're learning a valuable lesson in futility. It's an important skill to learn, if you accept it. Raging against the machine will accomplish nothing. Accept life as it is, and then beat the game.

All of these things only apply to men. Women live life on easy mode. They live in a fantasy world quite literally created by us

1. It's just a question of working hard at it. Take things slowly. Have you done any of those types of courses before? Are you sure you're not just self-sabotaging yourself out of anxiety?
2. Join clubs. Force yourself to try to talk to people, and when you do find yourself in conversations learn to keep them talking by asking questions which makes you seem like a good listener.
3. If you don't like anything, then by default you should choose the job that pays the most (for tolerably moderate effort). Sure the idea of working for the rest of your life sucks, but trust me, being unemployed for long stretches of time feels terrible.

Anything else?

I am a woman and I struggle with these sorts of things

>I used to have this attitude that I should try to find an intellectual and philosophically inclined therapist who would help me work out my issues, but there are none.

They are out there, they are just rare. I find that men are more likely to be this type. They also understand men's issues better as well. Finding a good therapist is pretty much just as hard as finding a good woman. So good luck.