Wipe sitting or standing?

>not dunking your ass into the toilet bowl when flushing it
fucking plebs.

Brace yourselves, the angry stand-wiper retards are about to arrive

>not squatting while you shit
>not spreading your asscheeks over the bowl for a smooth and noiseless exist, followed by a pristine wipe and wash

If you wipe sitting down, you're a disgusting freak. How are you supposed to get ALL the turd out? You wouldn't have the proper positioning while seated and would leave poopy bits behind.
Sitter genocide when?

I shove the sink up my ass and turn it on, then shoot all the water and poo poo out into the sink

I have my tranny, cougar, skat fetish gf suck it off.

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>so dumb he literally can't comprehend the simple proper way to wipe his own ass
About what I'd expect for a stand-wiper. The only reason you stand to wipe is because back when you were a small child being potty-trained, your parents would have you stand up so they could wipe you. It's too bad you were too dumb to ever figure out you don't need to stand to wipe yourself and it's more efficient in every way to stay seated

Dummy

nigga what? if you whipe standing, yo booty cheeks together, how tf you not just gonna spread shit all over your ass like nutella
this nigga willingly walk around with swamp ass lmfao

Doo-doo head McStanky-ass confirmed

A combination of sitting first while wiping, then standing, and I finish with a moist wipe while standing.

whatever, using shit like mortar between two bricks headass

This. You will never properly clean your ass after shitting if you use only dry toilet paper to wipe. If you don't own a bidet consider at the very least wetting toilet paper or going for a quick rinse in a shower if you can.

Ol muddy butt skidmark jr. over here

Standing. It is the most efficient way.
>durr poopie will get stuck on your ass cheeks
Just fucking wipe one extra time then you dumb nigger?

Man, if you're standing, you have more leverage to pull your buttcheeks apart by squatting and pulling.
Day of the flushing is coming for you sit-wiper.

You can wipe your ass just fine either way. Even so, standing seems a bit silly, it's unnecessary and just a remnant from your early childhood when you were out of diapers and your parents had you stand up so they could wipe

got my drawers lookin like realtree camo ass nigga

Lil doodoo boy with the Jackson Pollock stained whitey-tighties lookin like they got a melted burnt sienna crayola in them nigga

BOTH, sitting at first, so you don't drip poo in the floor, then standing when you're dry

heard they be callin you daytona with all them skid marks, call your ass oklahoma with all the prairie doggin you be doin

Does it really matter? At the end of the day we all wash our ass right?

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>Wipe sitting or standing?
Sitting.
>at mcdonalds
>take a shit
>stand up
>turn around
>reach for paper
>piece of shit falls on to floor
>spagetti out of there
>never go back
>never wiped arse my either

And now I always sit to wipe.

Fun fact, I never actually washed in between my cheeks in the shower until I was 19 years old. It just never occurred to me. Now that I do, I have no idea how I didn't for most of my life

lmaoing this golden
You aren't suppose to stand up right away or else that happens. You are suppose to squat a little bit up wipe a couple times and then wipe once fully standing

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I stand because my ass is too big for me to get my hand underneath it

>r9k
>anyone washing their ass

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Damn you must have been that kid that smelled like ass when you were sweating in summer

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Yeah I was. Literal autism is no joke, simple things like that that everyone should just know how to do need to be explained

I'm surprised your parents never smelled you and told you to wash your ass

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y-you're supposed to do this?
im 20 and dont know

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>Wipe sitting or standing?
both.

Yes, make sure to get your butthole and ass-crack all nice and soapy every time you shower

wew guess ill start tomorrow
i get swampass bad in the summer as well

If you wipe standing you're first smearing the shit all over your asscrack as you stand up and then trying to get it off afterwards. Sitting is the only logical answer.

Wipe with one leg raised up and resting on the counter. Now onto the real question:
Wipe until clean enough, clean, or blood?

How do you feel about the fact that when you shower the water is going between your ass, dissolving shit and then carrying it all over your taint, balls and legs? You were walking around with shit particles all over you your entire life.