Earliest memory of autism

mine
>be 8 years old or so
>watched lots of youtube poops after my older cousin introduced them to me
>watched a spongebob YTP of the episode where gary gets kidnapped by the old lady
>they edited the old lady to tell "I WILL RAPE YOU!" to gary
>no idea what rape is, think this is the funniest thing ever for some reason
>go up to my mom
>yell "I WILL RAPE YOU!"
>she asks why I said that and bans me from going on youtube

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Why the sponge hurt pepe?

>3 Years old
>First day of preschool
>Kids and shit running around
>Must escape this normie prison.
>idea.mkv
>Jump up to door handle but can't reach it.
>I get seen and a teacher puts me in a corner and holds me there.
>Ask to go to the toilet.
>Teacher comes with me and watches.
>FeelsWeirdMan

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>be about 7
>at school
>some kid walks up to me in the school playground
>says "when you see your dad when you get home, call him a bitch. it's the french word for 'cool person'
>think it'll be a great thing to call my dad
>when i get home, father is in kitchen
>yell at him "dad you're a bitch"
>he roars "what did you call me!"
>i respond that it's the french word for cool person
>he slaps me hard enough for me to fall onto the ground
>start crying and piss myself
>dad boots me in the back
>autistic scream ensues as i run to my room
>don't go to sleep the entire night and just lie in bed in my piss stained pants

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Damn your dad seems fucked. No way to handle a child especially since you were obviously misinformed.

Still it is funny to imagine some little fucker walking up to his dad calling him a bitch for apparently no reason and getting slapped so he pisses himself and runs away reeeeeeing.

your dad sounds based. Is he physically imposing too?

My dad's basically like a bully at home. When i do some extremely minor shit like eat too fast, he'll start a long ass argument with me and it's not even worth it. He wouldn't do anything physical like that anymore since when i turned 16 i was already a lot bigger than him. Not meaning fat.

I mean at the time he was quite imposing and didn't have a gut or anything like that. Probably could have punched my head through 2 walls if he wanted to

Start telling him to file a written complaint instead of orally criticising you so you can analyse the problem and come up with an optimal solution.
Or start taking notes of his complaints and thanking him for his constructive feedback.

>8
>YouTube
fuck me

>8 yo
>youtube
>ytp
So, now you are 13 or what?

Why can't old fucks do math?
>Youtube created in 2005
>OP could've been born in 1997
>he could be 21 now

YTP wasn't a thing in 2005, brainlet.

that's nothing
>be me in preschool
>never shit at school before but really had to go
>never wiped my own ass at this point
>don't know what to do
>open the door with my pants still down and ask my teacher to wipe my ass (the bathroom is attached to the classroom)
>mfw she actually does

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forgive him fellow YTP scholar

fucking hell user, that reminds me of a similar story. back in middle school or early high school, my autist gang and i saw a spongebob parody or youtube poop or something in this vein, and we used to just scream dumb quotes from it, before we got sent to the office for sperging.
the video was of the episode where squidward goes to boating school with spongebob, and i specifically remember spongebob asking squidward to "cross swords after school." it might be more grandma's kisses-esque than poopish, actually. does anyone know what i'm talking about, and if so, can you link me it? i haven't been able to find it in years.

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You think that's bad?
>be me in kindergarten
>on two separate occasions I shit in my pants and carried it around the whole day until I got home

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Your mom sounds like a responsible lady.

>go to school as a 5 year old
>follow some kids around
>they don't want me around so they tell me to get lost
>go be alone
>see another kid who is alone
>it's the extremely autistic kid who doesn't speak at class
>becomes my only friend for a while
>eventually buy a board game from school
>go see guys who told me to get lost
>they kick me in the stomach really hard.

nigga wut? how do you unironically shit your pants? surely you just sharted a little

No I pooped actual logs that I carried around the rest of the day. I'm amazed I wasn't sent to the special ed class.

what did you do with them when you got home? just place them in the toilet?

I can't remember except that my mom helped clean me up.

she sounds like a nice lady

>be me 9 years old
>really into superheroes shit like any other kid
>wanna fly like superman
>jump off the 5th floor
>fall down and die
Not my best experience so far

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this is funny :) my man :))

Your dad seems to be dumb trash. I hope you distanced yourself from his violent ways.Its not your fault or something autistic. Its your dad behaving like a nigger.