First time sex advice

don't do this. equally likely that you won't be able to get it up due to nerves and jerking off immediately beforehand will exacerbate this.
source: took me a lot of tries before i could reliably get hard with girls (nervousness)

Just slap her titties around a bit, then stick it in her and pee user, it's not that hard.

Pretty much this but make sure you have a wank like half an hour before and if you need to last longer just do some maths in your head make sure the questions are hard to distract you

Why is everyone saying to wank beforehand? That didn't work on the Inbetweeners.

t. virgin

user I think you're on the wrong board for this kind of question, no one here has ever had sex
... is what I would want to say, but since Jow Forums is full of normalfags and traps now, you might as well ask away

apparently you're supposed to Lickilicky her clit for at least 5-10 mins, then thrust in her slowly for 10 mins, then go ham for the last 2 mins if you want her to cum
Don't trust me though, this is just stuff I've overheard from normals
t. 23y KHHV

this does not really work for me. doing maths in my head during the act however does wonders.

3 holes.
One goal.
Aim for the middle one.

>.>"

on back, ass up , stick dick in vagene, stick foot in mouth
if no vageen, go home better luck next time

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very few people go down on someone the first time they hook up with them user.

be gentle, talk things trough, build up slowely and above all have fun, and do it with someone you trust and someone you love.
trust me. your first time will not go great but it will be one of the most memorable times you ever had sex.

kiss her for a few mins, caress her upper thigh, stomatch, neck, breasts and play with her her pussy during it or afterwards (one finger or rubbing clit) before prenatation. just make sure she is not dry before it otherwise its very painful and not as unpleasant for you.

why do women offer such shitty advice?

Foreplay until she is nice and wet, eat her out until she comes, mount her missionary (since it will be your first time together) and enjoy sensual lovemaking. grab her buttcheeks and lift her up slightly while pounding her to get a good angle, dont jack-hammer, focus on heavy, forceful thrusts, wiggle around in her at times so your mons can stimulate her clit.

You will do fine, instincts will take over.

Never go for eating out first.
You'll need to get used to the taste of pussy, it's a very unusual taste, some find it gross, which I understand.

You'll need to get her wet first anyways, though, which won't turn on like a power-button by dry-jamming a finger in there.
First run your fingers up and down her outer lips, and massage the general area where her clit is (her mons) in circles. Not because of the clit being there, my ex said "for some reason this causes getting wet almost always, maybe it's because that's the spot where the hips slam on, which makes intercourse and 'grinding' easier or something...", so whyever, it 'JUST WORKS'. (See that mountain?! YOU CAN CLIMB THAT MOUNTAIN!! BUY MY GAME!!!!)
If she's nice n wet, go easy on it. And remember, the entry is the LOWEST spot of the slit, not the middle.
Start off slowly. First figure out how sensitive and endurant you are.
Going too hard and you'll be empty like a battery before cumming.
Going too soft and she's gonna start wondering why she even let you little fagboi queer undress her.
Never be repetitive or monotonous. Men are just "do a certain strength and speed for long enough and you'll cum", for women it's complicated, they need a lil bit here, lil bit there, bit of nibbling this and licking that, E PRESTO, they cum.
So, find a pace you can hold really well, and always, ALWAYS listen to her body language as precisely as the sensors of the LHC. A bit like petting a cat: don't be too hasty. Watch where you pet her, if you're sensitive, patient and observant, you'll have her purring and melting in your palms in no time.
So if she seems to raise excitement in certain moments or losing the groove in another: those are valuable hints you should memorize. You're currently charting the map of her sexuality, finding out her weak spots, no-go-areas and anatomy.

You done it...
You MADMAN.
You've created a god damned manual...

Well, no point in hiding it now.
Boys. Listen very closely. The answer to the age old question "Does this dress make me look x/y/z?" is that if she has to ask you, you have already lost. You tell her before she can pop that sucker punch.

wtf u have obviously never had sex before

start taking ssri's so that you won't actually be able to cum and it will be even more awkward, but at least you'll last a long time

I take over 30min to cum, women unironically love it.
It sucks for me though, I'll grant you that.

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I always got away with "idk, but you definitely look even better without it" and a wide grin.
Usually throwing the cat into the microwave at max settings and slapping a PPT-portfolio on the TV about why 9/11 is an inside job while making an escape through your neighbour's garden, leaving all your belongings including your clothes in your own garden will have her dumbfounded and silently accept that you have likely transcended to godhood, which explains the clothes and the lack of you inside them.
Really didn't figure she would immediately call Jamal over for Sex.
That's not how you transcend, Rosie! What are you, some type of Allistair Crowley fan?! Ugh.

>cumming with any female
Shameful

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i take priligy