Prostitute is coming for me

oi mate, you got a permit for that phone

Do you think if I CALL back and explain that I have severe anxiety she will be OK?

this is either really good b8 or has never actually talked to a girl in his life

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Nah, you gonna get a proper beatdown, like you deserve. Enjoy.

Guys just put me in the screenshot

Get someone professional sounding to say you're retarded and don't know any better

Top knotch OP. Absolute unit.

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This thread is pure fucking gold

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Her handlers are coming now and they're quite ripped, guess you should have had binned that script.

And thus a legend is born.

OP, can you please post pics of yourself after you get your ass kicked? Thanks in advance.

Tfw I might be in a screenshot on le reddite
Feel so fucking famous now

M Y S I D E S A R E I N G E O

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>when you take the posts that say that women love a man that takes what they want so seriously that you threaten to rape a prostitute

this cant be real. you fucking moron

Kek good bait

Go where she lives, kidnap her before she calls anyone and rape her until she becomes a mindless sextoy desu

i really want this to be originally real

this must be fucking fake.
jesus christ.

>prostitute is coming for me

As though that title on it's own was not enough (protop: it had me in tears of laughter on its own), your script at is one of the weirdest fucking things I've ever read. Can you fucking imagine listening to your voicemails and hearing this spoken in some autistic retard's voice trying to sound seductive, when in actual fact he sounds threatening and perverse as fuck?

OP you absolute madman, you've made my day. And I've had a shit day up until now.

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Why is r9k not interested in this thread?

This is the best thing to happen in years

Jesus fuck dude. There's no coming back from this. Sit down, cross your arms and prepare for the beating of a lifetime.

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OP and his script are a gift to humanity.

I want to believe
rip in piece

I know this is fake but it's still pretty funny

I would honestly suggest that you unironically pack your basic necessities, lock up your house and leave and go and camp out in some sort of a wooded rural area out in the countryside for a few days to a week until this all blows over and they hopefully forget about you. If you live alone independently I would also attempt to move house and start your life all over again somewhere else far away.

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wait outside a hospital incase you get stabbed user, or call the police

Hi Amy, my name is Ron, and I am going to be the best client you never had.. because I am not going to be a client because clients pay and you won't get money from me, and I am still going to fuck you so hard.. I am going to punish you for the following misspelt words
You spell 'First' an 'Firts' on your profile.. well I'll be the FIRTS man to get that tight cunt by sexual force

Someone do the rest I can't bring myself to fucking do it

Put me in the screen cap. Some good content now that the trap shit is gone

user call the police dont end up like this guy

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Nigga what
Put me in the screencap pIs

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Can you even function in real life?

Prostitutes are tired of sex mostly
You just were autistic and annoying kek

Freaking great pasta has been born

PIease be bait, this can't be reaI

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Include me in the screencap pls.

Hi mum, I finally made it!

>adultwork
>expensive
No it's not. I'm in the UK too and the average price for an hour is 80 or 100 pounds.
How broke are you?

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>You like Pole dancing well the telephone pole better get put to use when you call and accept my dick
What

holy shit this face KEK

Congrats, OP. No idea what you've gotten yourself into. But then again since she didn't hang up on you immediately, she's either just fucking with you to make you scared or you just messed with one of the mafia's whores or something. Holy shit my sides. Good luck, Tommy.

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Hi Amy, my name is Ron, and I am going to be the best client you never had.. because I am not going to be a client because clients pay and you won't get money from me, and I am still going to fuck you so hard.. I am going to punish you for the following misspelt words
You spell 'First' an 'Firts' on your profile.. well I'll be the FIRTS man to get that tight cunt by sexual force
Youspell Minutes as MINUETS an I will not make it last minutes, what I do will last the rest of your slutty life
you are mine you slut and I know you love it, you have 'pussy pumping' listed on your profile, well pussy can be pumped and eventually burst through your door and take the pussy that is rightfully mine, you live to spank and I like to YANK, YANK your shorts off by force an take what is mine
I am sexy and you know it babe, you will give me what I need, and I won't pay
You won't take card, or take standing order but you will take nice cock, thin and hard you slut
You better call me back. You like Pole dancing well the telephone pole better get put to use when you call and accept my dick

there you go lads

Please don't be real
put me in the screencap as well

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The entire point of prostitution is to make money by giving people sex. What you did was threaten to fuck her without paying her, that would be robbery and rape.

apex laugharoo

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i don't think i can finish reading this. what the fuck OP

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Best thread on Jow Forums right now

OP you absolute fucking autistic retard

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It cant be real but at the same time I can totally see it happening.

Hahaha holy shit this is hilarious
How did you ever expect this to work? Her pimp is probably coming after you if this whore is serious.

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This.
Usually worth forking over 120 for an hour, much better girls usually.

Also stay away from romanians, they do a half-arsed job. Try to go for fully independent girls who work on their own from their own flat, they're usually a lot nicer and the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed.

holy shit, this is brilliant
top stuff

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OP, you learned a valuable life lesson: whores act whorishly. They live in a world where they are constantly threatened and she heard a brobot on the phone and probably thought you sounded like someone she could finally turn the tables on and be the aggressor with. Or, she figures you might be a stalker and wants to scare you off.

Just go to one of the Chinese massage places in industrial/strip mall type zones, and the girl will be the one who asks you.

xvideos .com/video33769785/chinese_massage_with_happy_ending_hidden_camera_-_watch_more_on_www.asianfetishp

remove the spaces for xvideos

OP may not be Indian but, is anyone else getting serious Indian vibes from this?

posting in epic thread, include me in the screen cap

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>vocaroo.com/i/s1dOV28XGpMM
Took me about 5 tries to get through it without laughing. I highly recommend that you all share a recording of yourself attempting this masterpiece.

>Leaving a rape threat on voicemail

Who told you that was a good idea

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omg this has me in stitches

i wish i could make an animated youtube video of this guy getting ready to call her, your call, the whore listening to the message and her pimp kicking the shit outta this guy

post her phone number&profile. We will take care of her

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

You're not dying

This desu sampachi

INCLUDE ME IN LE REDDIT SCREENSHOT EXX DEE

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good almighty fuck

congratulations OP, you're going down in Jow Forums history for being the autistic faggot who threatened to rape a britbong hooker.
good luck trying to explain to NHS staff what happened when the ripped goons who beat you within an inch of your live drop you at the steps of a hospital.

>you live to spank and I like to YANK, YANK your shorts off by force and take what is mine
>I am sexy and you know it babe
>accept my dick
This can't be real

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Grab an assault spoon and attack them all autisically

OP... why are you like this

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Post the script gayboi

you complete fucking cavefaggot

it's literally the first post you fucking faggot

Too bad you don't have a knife license not that it matters, assault knifes are being taken away anyways

>minu-ettsss
I completely fucking lost it there, gj man

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Yeah no, sorry

if op gets laid by this i'm gonna an hero

There's very little risk of that

Top kek. You'll make it OP

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Holy shit, two dubs in response to this post? Nice.

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oh wow you're gonna fucking die dude jesus

OP probably put on his best suit before calling

OHNONONONOUUHHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah so this is the mindset of the speg nazi grammer fag's off reddit, Go hang yourself with some ramen noodles

>well, pussy can be pumped and will eventually burst and I will burst through your door and take the pussy that is rightfully mine
KEK.
You can't make this shit up! OP, how did you NOT find this creepy at all?!

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too bad, as an americunt, i can't try something like this anymo

Holy fuck if this is real we've reached nuclear levels of autism

OP hasn't replied since his 2nd post which was hours ago. Most like bait for rebbit gold

put me in the screencap

originollio

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