/cripplingdepression/ general

>feel depressed
>try to remember happier times
>realise I've always been depressed

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I only applied to university to make it seem like I had plans besides suicide after school...

I got accepted for 4 universities.. JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY

maybe you'll be happy at uni...

I'm currently talking to a therapist, it's okay I guess.

do you like them? i switched therapists 3 times before i found one i liked

hey me too
arent genetics fun

hey nice
what are you gunna do in uni?

I said that at first but I just won't

my physical health is shit, I'll need someone to help me do stupid things like get socks on, I won't be able to walk in 4 months and I am shit at socialising..

plus it's gonna cost alot of money my mom doesn't have..

Depressed as fuck, wanting to off myself, and forcing myself to do meaningless busywork for my trade school.
If I could, I'd walk out, flipping off everyone here, drop out, and stay at home playing vidja, being a happy NEET, but I'm not on bux or anything, and leeching off of my best friend from high school and his family because my parents kicked me out because I couldn't pay rent.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the life of a lower class autist. Remind me why I shouldn't neck myself again?

computer science

robot pls

>28
>been spending the last 2 years getting fit
>trying to get to brad tier at least
>been feeling happy and healthy lately
>shits going good
>noticed a bald spot in the back of head today despite having nice thick hair and a good hairline and nobody in my family going bald
HAHAHAHA JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS AND THINGS ARE GOING GOOD LIFE SAYS FUCK YOU
FUCK THIS

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I dont think getting rid of the depression will help at this point if thats even possible

I don't know, it's only been 3 sessions so far. It's not bad

I wish I could get therapy but I don't know how

Ayy lmao op we want the same things man. I''ve been unemployed for like three weeks man but I have an interview tomorrow so hopefully I can escape this hell save some money and move out of my parents house.

Ever since my heart broke, this is the highest I can hope for. Its been three years. Strong desire to end it. Betrayal replays hourly sometimes hundreds of times a day. It never ends, this is torture, he'll exists and I'm living it.
No matter where I go, no escape

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God i kind of know that feeling
work keeps me busy and makes me happy but id like to just be home forever

CS made me want to kill myself

shaved is hot desu

i dont think it ever goes away, but you can mitigate it to a certain extent

well i hope it keeps going well for you

>you can mitigate it to a certain extent
To what end?

to where not every day is a miserable hellhole of suffering
to where you have good days
feel happy
feel better

How can i help you user?

i want to move out
im so old and ready to move

Keep in mind that ultimately you will have to make the changes. Therapy wont just majically fix you

I'm not even sure if I feel the malaise that comes with depression, or the emptiness. I feel like the world around me is losing it's definition and because of so I no longer stress out about it. I have no dreams or plans, no libido or impetus to hang out with people, no enjoyment comes from doing so either; I show symptoms of derealization, but I still feel oddly complacent.
Anyone here know of these schizoid feels?

I can relate to that. Although for me, my autism is my main issue. It causes me to be drained just doing normal everyday things that normies tend to gloss over. Even making basic small talk is an ordeal. Trying to work a social job, like a cashier or something like that, might as well be torture, especially if someone doesn't follow the script. And then there's looking for work when you're unemployed like me, and that entire process is bullshit to boot.
I just hope that I can get on disability asap. That way I can stop trying to force myself to fit into this world and just stay at home, order food to my house, and play videogames until I die.

I'm completely fucked...

> 29
> no skill set
> associates degree in history
> been in between neetdom and shit jobs and community college my whole adult life

People really do start treating you like your a lost cause. I'm completely alone... At least I still have my health and fitness I guess.

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sounds like depression my dude
but im not sure
i relate to those feelings desu, not all of them but especially the dreams or plans part

Good luck dude, im rooting for you
we need universal basic income like, yesterday to be honest.

The best thing I ever encountered in my life is having a boyfriend who isn't depressed. Everyone around me is depressed or anxious including myself. It's suicide memes, "kill me pls" or depression shit everywhere.

So having someone at your side who isn't gloomy, negative and depressed is very pleasant. Someone who was able to keep their light and didn't get corrupted by this disease or the world.

I don't give a shit what other people say that's what is helpful. Depressed people just shit up your depression even more.

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I've been depressed before, and this feels different. I don't feel lonely which is strange, nor do I feel guilt or regret. I think I'm getting into my own head a lil too much, might be bad for me.

Thanks user. I hope that I get accepted. I'm even going to hire a lawyer for this shit, since they only get paid if you win. If I don't get accepted, though, I'm pretty much fucked. My brain/mind is literally incompatible with this world we live in today. If I don't get on disability, I might as well off myself, because I'm not going to be able to get a job at this rate. I've been looking for a solid year with no luck. Not even fast food or high turnover jobs will hire me.

That sounds really nice user
i'd love a non depressed bf

I feel a little lost too user
wish i had good advice desu, i dont know what to do

Take some time away from thinking about it, it might help

Good luck user, i super hope you get it

Anyone here ever go out to see friends and family after a long time of isolation ? I did so the other night and the depressive feelings hit hard. Everyone is so happy and having kids, etc. Felt like the elephant in the room.

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its always a bad feel to realize to world is moving without you

This is probably the lowest point of my now 9 year old depression, feel like I'm a walking corpse, barely eat and find no joy in things I used to, things that kept me going. My stomach hurts, are this fucking ssris even working?

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This year I seem to have depression really, really bad. Yesterday I did not take my meds (Remeron, Abilify, and Adderall) and I felt like complete shit the whole day. Spent most of the day in bed. This is strange because last year I remember that I could go on for days, weeks, or even months without taking my meds and I would feel just fine. This year, however, I cannot go even one day without taking my meds. Man, this is really gonna suck if I ever end up homeless, huh? I can just imagine. Now I understand how people end up that way.

>can you think of anything that would make you happy?

show me your asshole.