Since we're trying to clean the board up, what are your favorite historical figures? For me its Andrew Jackson
>Got cut by british officer during revolutionary war because he was a messanger for US
>Won the battle of New Orleans during war of 1812
>Countless duels with people that insulted him or his wife
>As President, abolished the national bank when people said he had no choice but to renew it
>Seemed to be more of a common man (despite his plantation, being a lawyer etc)
>Beat assassin with his cane
Cleomens I is another favorite, for throwing the Persian messangers, demanding earth and water for xerxes, in a well
Favorite Historical Figures?
Liam Price
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Oliver Sullivan
Charles Joughin
>When the ship hit an iceberg on the evening of 14 April, at 23:40, Joughin was off-duty and in his bunk.
>Although he was assigned as captain of Lifeboat 10, he did not board; it was already being manned by two sailors and a steward. He went below after Lifeboat 10 had gone, and "had a drop of liqueur"
>When he arrived at the Boat Deck, all the boats had been lowered, so he went down into the B Deck promenade and threw about fifty deck chairs overboard so that they could be used as flotation devices.
>Joughin then went into the deck pantry on A Deck to get a drink of water and, whilst there, he heard a loud crash, "as if part of the ship had buckled". He left the pantry, and joined the crowd running aft toward the poop deck. As he was crossing the well deck, the ship suddenly gave a list over to port and, according to him, threw everyone in the well in a bunch except for him. Joughin climbed to the starboard side of the poop deck, getting hold of the safety rail so that he was on the outside of the ship as it went down by the head. As the ship finally sank, Joughin rode it down as if it were an elevator, not getting his head under the water (in his words, his head "may have been wetted, but no more"
>According to his own testimony, he kept paddling and treading water for about two hours. He also admitted to hardly feeling the cold, most likely thanks to the alcohol he had imbibed.
>When daylight broke, he spotted the upturned Collapsible B, with Second Officer Charles Lightoller and around twenty-five men standing on the side of the boat. Joughin slowly swam towards it, but there was no room for him. A man, however, cook Isaac Maynard, recognized him and held his hand as the Chief Baker held onto the side of the boat, with his feet and legs still in the water. Another lifeboat then appeared and Joughin swam to it and was taken in, where he stayed until he boarded the RMS Carpathia, He was rescued from the sea with only swollen feet.
Anthony Peterson
Theodore Roosevelt; best president America ever had.
Caleb Bailey
He sounds like a bad MF
>Go to get a drink while the titanic is sinking
Steve Austin could learn something from this man
Jose Thompson
Teddy is great too. Cleaned a ton of the mess with monopolies up. Created a lot of the regulation we have regarding food as well IIRC
He was alpha
Isaac White
Another favorite of mine is General Patton
>Basically invented US' tank combat system
>Strapped members of pancho villas gang he and others killed to the hood of cars and drove them back from mexico
>Pissed in the Rhine to mark his territory
>Lead US to victories on 3 continents (Europe, Africa, North America (Pancho Villa story))
Eli Hughes
Diogenes
>Diogenes was a Greek philosopher and one of the founders of Cynic philosophy. He was born in Sinope, an Ionian colony on the Black Sea, in 412 or 404 B.C. and died at Corinth in 323 B.C.
>Diogenes was a controversial figure. His father minted coins for a living, and Diogenes was banished from Sinope when he took to debasement of currency. After being exiled, he moved to Athens and criticized many cultural conventions of the city. He modelled himself on the example of Heracles, and believed that virtue was better revealed in action than in theory. He used his simple life-style and behaviour to criticize the social values and institutions of what he saw as a corrupt, confused society. He had a reputation for sleeping and eating wherever he chose in a highly non-traditional fashion, and took to toughening himself against nature. He declared himself a cosmopolitan and a citizen of the world rather than claiming allegiance to just one place. There are many tales about his dogging Antisthenes' footsteps and becoming his "faithful hound".
>Diogenes made a virtue of poverty. He begged for a living and often slept in a large ceramic jar in the marketplace. He became notorious for his philosophical stunts, such as carrying a lamp during the day, claiming to be looking for an honest man. He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting attenders by bringing food and eating during the discussions. Diogenes was also noted for having publicly mocked Alexander the Great.
He BTFO normies on a daily basis, he was our guy for sure
Aiden Ross
>He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting attenders by bringing food and eating during the discussions. Diogenes was also noted for having publicly mocked Alexander the Great.
Kek robot who was able to fuck with people
Jaxson Cruz
Reinhard Heydrich. He was a loyal, loving family man.
Christian Ortiz
Interesting choice user. There are things they did that were bad, but there were things I agreed with that they did, and had I been a German would've supported
>Hitler revives german economy by ignoring sanctions from treaty of versailles and producing stuff for military
>Fixes inflation and other economic issues so that bread no longer cost a suit case full of money
Though he did things I did not like, these were good things he did for Germany.
Joshua King
Antoine-Augustin Parmentier
>invented mashed potatoes
>is god in my eyes
I really love mashed potatoes
Anthony Baker
>>invented mashed potatoes
that cant be true
Lucas Phillips
The fact conservatives voted Trump into the same halls of history as Teddy is a shame their party will never be free of.
Robert Brooks
>invented mashed potatoes
definition of based
Cameron Diaz
Good choice. Want to become best friends?
Blake James
General Idi Amin.
The original Ugandan Kunckles.
One of this wretched earth's most gifted trolls.
I sincerely hope he's up in Heaven or Jannah or wherever right now,looking down and laughing his black ass at everything that's going on.
Asher Miller
>Went from being a cook in British African Rifles to being leader of Uganda
Serious mover
Jaxon Morris
Flavius Aetius
>was born a plebian and never held the title of patrician
>As a young boy Flavius was part of a military unit called the "Protectores Domestici", and was later promoted to "tribuni praetoriani partis militaris"
>around 405 A.D. he was captured by the visigoths of King Alaric I
>Was sent to go live among the Hunnic tribes as a "hostage" when he was a young boy for political reasons
>became acquainted with attila the hun
>became one hell of a horseman and quite warlike for a roman during those times
>was especially proficient with the lance
>when he returned to rome years later, he was known as "cura palatii" and assisted usurpers during the civil wars that were erupting at around 423 A.D.
>His commanding officer died at around 425 A.D. and was able to bring to Italy a large army of Hunnic warriors under his command
>Flavius fought against Emperor Valentinian III and was able to make a compromise with the emperor's mother (Galla Placidia)
>reluctantly sent his huns back home
>was however promoted to commander in chief in Gaul
>In 427 A.D., Flavius led eight legions to lift the siege at Arelate from the Visigoths commanded by Theodoric I
>Flavius emerged victorious
>In 428 A.D. he fought the Franks and conquered some of their territory along the Rhine
>was promoted to "magister militum" in 429 A.D.
>In 430 A.D. Flavius again defeated the Visigoths at Arelate
>Plotted and had Flavius Felix (political rival) and his wife assassinated in the May of 430 A.D.
>In 431 A.D., Flavius Aetius reestablished Roman rule along the Danube and slaughtered a lot of Germans
>In 432 A.D. defeated the Franks once more and called for a ceasefire
>got desperate against a rival general known as Bonifacius in 432 A.D.
>Lost the Battle of Rimini, but was able to have Bonifacius brutally wounded
>Bonifacius died months later
>Flavius gets help from the Huns again, and is able to return to political power
>proceeds to marry and fuck Bonifacius's widowed wife Pilagia
Easton Cook
Didnt fucking read, soyboy
>>>/reddit/
Charles Moore
>44597132
>Flavius gets help from the Huns again, and is able to return to political power
>proceeds to marry and fuck Bonifacius's widowed wife Pilagia
Kek, Bonifacius cucked in battle and in the bedroom
This guy did good for being in the Western Roman Empire that late
Lincoln Hughes
>From 433 A.D.- 450 A.D., Flavius Aetius was the most famous Roman General and was known as the dominant personality of the Western Roman Empire
>Emperor Valentinian III was used as a puppet for Flavius
>Focused his attention on Gaul a lot
>In 436 A.D., Flavius defeated the Burgundians and their King Gunther, and forced them to make peace with Rome
>Later that year, Flavius persuaded the Huns to go and utterly destroy King Gunther and his people
>20,000 Burgundians were holocosted
>That same year, Aetius had to suppress another rebellion in Armorica against the Bacaudae tribe
>Was at Emperor Valentinian III's wedding at Constantinople in the year of 437 A.D.
>In 438 A.D. Flavius won a major victory against the Visigoths
>In 439 A.D. General Litorious and Flavius's hunnic retinue were slaughtered by the Visigoths in a pitched battle
>On that same year, Flavius came back with a vengeance and whooped some visigoth ass and forced upon them a treaty
>Emperor Valentinian III decided to suck Flavius's cock (just like OP) and erected a statue in his honor
>in 443 A.D. Aetius forcibly relocated the Burgundians to the south of Lake Geneva
just like in the "trail of tears"
>Focused on Gaul and Iberia a lot
>Forcibly settled the Alans around Brittany and Orleans
>Alans started stirring up shit against Rome in the years of 447-448 A.D.
>Flavius fought a tough battle near Tours, which was followed by a Frankish attack near Arras, in Belgica Secunda
>Beat the shit out of the Franks near a river at the Battle of Vicus Helena
>During the battle, one of his commissioned officer under his command known as, Majorian, commanded Flavius's calvary during the battle
>Majorian would later become a Roman Emperor
>in 450 A.D. the king of the Franks die
>Flavius Aetius used this chance to manipulate the new frankish king and was able to make peace between roman and franks
>adopted the new frankish king as his own son and sent him to rome
>sent the franks cool roman presents
Colton Martinez
>>On that same year, Flavius came back with a vengeance and whooped some visigoth ass and forced upon them a treaty
Was this guy Caesar rencarnated? Caesar IIRC choked some gaul to death. Sounds like something Flavius would do
>Emperor Valentinian III decided to suck Flavius's cock (just like OP) and erected a statue in his honor
Kek
Isaiah Green
>in 449 A.D. Aetius allowed the powerful huns to settle in Pannonia
>Confusing shit happens where Attila gets mad over a stolen golden plate
>points his finger at the romans
>Aetius attempts to help Attila chill the fuck out by sending him an embassy to tell Attila to shut the fuck up and calm his tits
>embassy fails at his ONE JOB
>Attila decides to send Aetius a fucking dwarf as a present (his name was Zerco)
>Aetius gave Zerco back to his original owner, Aspar
wtf attila... this guy was fucking weird
>peace between romans and huns go straight to shit
>Attila wanted to make Gaul into his personal bitch
>Aetius told Attila that he wasn't invited to the orgie and that he should fuck off and wait to half past never
>Attila plots to remove the supreme chad name Flavius Aetius
>Aetius obviously knows of how this is going to go down while Gaul and the rest of the Western Roman world is sucking his alpha cock
>In 451 A.D. Attila invades Gaul with a shit ton of allies and his hunnic tribes
>Aetius looks upon the horizon of ultimate reckoning and sighs
>Proceeds to say "Goddammit Attila, you're such a fucking bitch"
>Attila proceeds to conquer several roman cities, and proceeds to Orleans
>Rape and plunder ensues everywhere Attila goes
>The Alans and Visigoths were ready to defect to the Huns, but Aeitus comes by and offers them prostitutes and a lot of gold
>Alans and Visigoths join the Romans
>Aetius gains the numbers that he needs to defeat Attila and put him in his place to remind him that there is only room for JUAN alpha
>Was able to prevent another barbarian warlord known as Sangibanus from joining Attila
>Proceeds to shine his olive greased roman ass to attila
>Aeitus and his ragtag roman-barbarian army march upon the besieged city of Orleans
Levi Gomez
This is some serious stuff. I'm guessing he wasn't there when Alaric sacked Rome? Seems like he would've handled the situation easily him
Henry Hill
>by the time Aetius and his rag-tag army arrives, half of Attila's army is already fucking shit up in Orleans
>Flavius immediately attempts to pull off heroic shit by saving of what is left of the city's population from oblivion
>Huns and their allies take heavy casulaties in the urban warfare against roman legionnaires, visigoth veterans, and heavy alan cavlary warriors
>Attila already realizes that he is at an immediate disadvantage at close quarters
>orders his barbarian army to retreat to the country side where the terrain is flat enough for his horse archers
>Attila makes an impromptu fort with his army's wagons and tents upon the Catalunian fields
>Aetius and his army give chase
>Flavius orders an impromptu siege around attila's shitty attempt at a fort
>Attila waits until nightfall
>Flavius is not yet ready to launch an offensive because even though he got his numbers up by the Alans and Visigoths, he was still outnubmered 3-1
This battle is fucking crazy from start to finish
>when nightfall finally arrives, the oil for torches on both sides start to run out
>Attila orders the counterattack
>Flavius beforehand plans a classic pincer technique created by the Carthiginian general Hannibal Barca by placing his weakest troops in the middle, and his strongest troops on both right and left wings
>roman formation was like a forward curved bow
>huns and allies smash in to the enemy with everything that they had
>everything is going well until disaster in two different situations strikes
Ryder Morales
remember that i mentioned that oil for torches was running out... ya, this battle turns into a straight up nightmare... thank god for night vision goggles in the future
>so first disaster was that the Flavius and his army had to fight in pitch black darkness
>imagine if you will that the romans and their allies were in so much chaos with no light at all
>both sides butchered whoever, and whatever was attacking them
>both sides slaughtered both friend and foe alike because they were literally shitting themselves out of fear, because nobody could see jack shit in the dark
>second disaster, the Visigoth King, Theodoric was shot by an arrow, falls off his horse, and is trampled by his fellow horsemen
>shit looked hopeless for the romans
>Miracle happened when the King Theodoric's son rallied the Visigoths and Alans and they went FUCKING BERSERK
>They must have loved their king
>They fought like absolute legends against the hunnic threat
>Visigoths give Romans breathing room and the huns a run for their money
>Legend has it that Flavius Aetius marched into Attila's camp alone and breaks peace with him
>Apparently both sides take a break from the nightmarish battlefield
>Following morning was described as "countless dead"
>the piles of the dead were stacked seven feet high and was stretched as far as the eye could see
>warriors from both sides were so dehydrated that they tried drinking from the rivers
>unfortunately the rivers were choked with blood, so they ended up hydrating themselves with human blood\
>It is still debated to this day of who really won that battlefield
>Huns lost most of their allies and were severely depleted themselves
>Flavius basically lost 75-90% of his army
>Flavius failed in manipulating the young Visigoth king to fight for Rome
Jose Kelly
>Attila invades Italy in 452 A.D.
>All Flavius can do is pull off guerrilla warfare on his ass
>Attila proceeds to plunder and utterly destroy numerous Roman cities in his wake
>Flavius must've watched in absolute horror as he himself had been turned into a cuck
>the ex-consul Gennadius Avienus, and Pope Leo I persuade Attila to get the fuck out of Attila
>Attila leaves...
Attila is fucking weird
>Eastern Romans reinforce Aetius and his battle weary troops
>Emperor Valentinian decides to stop sucking Flavius's cock as it has aged and become wrinkly
My hero Flavius Aetius was murdered in the year of 454 A.D.
The rest is history... Valentinian cut off his strong, masturbating right arm... the fool
Carter Evans
One famous austrian painter
Adam Morris
Roosevelt was among the worst presidents america ever had
Kayden Richardson
en.wikipedia.org
>His relationships with his wife, daughter, and son also suffered. This became evident when he started telling visitors that his wife had died (despite the fact that she was still alive) and that the woman who frequented the building was simply her ghost. In one notable episode, Dexter faked his own death to see how people would react. About 3,000 people attended Dexter's mock wake. Dexter did not see his wife cry, and after he revealed the hoax, he caned her for not grieving his death sufficiently.
>At age 50, Dexter authored A Pickle for the Knowing Ones or Plain Truth in a Homespun Dress, in which he complained about politicians, the clergy, and his wife. The book contained 8,847 words and 33,864 letters, but without punctuation and seemingly random capitalization. Dexter initially handed his book out for free, but it became popular and was reprinted eight times. In the second edition, Dexter added an extra page which consisted of 13 lines of punctuation marks with the instructions that readers could distribute them as they pleased.
Maybe not my favorite historical figure, but you gotta admit he's fucking ubermensch