To anyone who's still struggling with getting over your oneitis or exgf

To anyone who's still struggling with getting over your oneitis or exgf.

Go ahead. Meet her. You'll realize she's not as great as she became in your dreams. It's a good way of getting over her.

I still love her though. Differently but still

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Bullshit! Sara was epic!!! IMO 11/10 was her fuck budddy for a minute.

>IMO 11/10 was her fuck budddy for a minute.
user, what?

It only works if enough time has passed. If you do it fresh, then you're still riding the love drug and she'll still be the most attractive person on earth to you.

tfw tried this
>Known her for 7 years
>Fade away and reconnect every so often
>Every time we're apart, I convince myself there was no way she was that great
>Tell myself it's just nostalgia talking
>Every time we reconnect, I discover she was exactly as perfect as I remember
>Exactly
>We still talk on the phone sometimes
>Talk upwards of 6 hours
Still hurts.
>she's married
> I'm married
>she has a son
>his middle name is my first name.

Shit, man. That's sad. Do you think she gave her son your name on purpose?

when will I stop comparing everyone else to them op

I don't think you ever will. I can't stop doing it.

On the other hand, when you see her and you see her as a little less than you expected her to be, then you're giving other girls a shot in comparison to her.

I mean, she's still superior to other girls, but it's not as terrible as I thought even just a few days ago. I literally met another girl a few days ago and was severely disappointed how pale she is in comparison to my oneitis. She still is, but at least now I know that my oneitis isn't as perfect.

my ex was a horribly manipulative person and would make me worry about his well being constantly. It was really hard to leave him and I fear I will always worry if hes okay.

When did things end?

my life started to revolve around him, but he was still paranoid and insecure about our relationship. Arguments frequently turned physical so I felt scared and had to leave

I mean, how long ago have things ended between you two.

not very long ago, a few months

I had this too for the initial few months. I was genuinely worried about her and I still care, though not as much. If she asked me for help, I'd run to aid, but it's not like I'm going to ask about it myself at this point. And it used to be like that.

Wow thats actually pretty uncanny.
You should consider offing yourself

It's not uncanny. Sometimes you just hold out the candle for someone for so long.

It kinda makes me sad to know that it's actually not that uncommon to meet the one for you, but for some reasons things just don't work out. So that person is still in your life but you just get on with it, marry someone else (settle for that person really) and have a family.

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It worked OP, but it hurt. We have just become too different from who we used to be, she will never be the girl I loved and I will never be the man she wants. I missed the boat and I know she has changed far too much for me to ever think about her in the same way but fuck me it was and still is a painful realisation.

I know this feel actually. She has changed considerably, though I could adapt. I'm not sure if we still have this connection we used to but I think if it was ever there, we could restore it.

I changed too. It could give us a fresh start. I'd love to try things again. I doubt she would though.

I know what kind of man she wants and I will never be that sort of person. Honestly I have met one of her prospective boyfriends and he just pissed me off, everything about him was annoying and felt cheap or fake. If that is what she likes then I dont want to be hers.
We went out for dinner on New Years, essentially it was a little get together of our group from high school, we had dinner in a nice restaurant and then went to a quiet pub to watch the countdown. Out of our group he was rather underdressed and had a bit of a disheveled appearance, I was over dressed but I have a lot of fancy clothes I dont wear enough so I thought why not, and from the girls at our reunion I got various compliments on my style so I guess it was good enough. The whole time he was there I felt that despite the fact he was maybe 2 or so years older than her and I, he was far less emotionally mature or simply a mature person. He kept lowering the tone of conversation and in some cases he wasnt even able to follow some of the topics and honestly it wasnt high brow table talk between us. I really dont know what she sees in him, but it certainly isnt me.

>I know what kind of man she wants and I will never be that sort of person. Honestly I have met one of her prospective boyfriends and he just pissed me off, everything about him was annoying and felt cheap or fake. If that is what she likes then I dont want to be hers.
Shit I kinda have the same feeling although I just don't really know who she wants. I tried being the man she wants according to what she would say she wants but she'd go for guys that are the opposite. She fell in love with a fucking 40 year old guy. She's 24. And she'd keep giving me retarded reasons as to why we couldn't be together. Either things that are easy to be ironed out or things that are just not true.

>The whole time he was there I felt that despite the fact he was maybe 2 or so years older than her and I, he was far less emotionally mature or simply a mature person. He kept lowering the tone of conversation and in some cases he wasnt even able to follow some of the topics and honestly it wasnt high brow table talk between us. I really dont know what she sees in him, but it certainly isnt me.
Shit, I know this feel too well. She also goes for guys that are just either morons or boring. We can talk together so goddamn easily and she always laughs at my jokes and considers me very intelligent and crafty. Even compliments my looks. But still, she prefers to go for other guys that are complete fucking morons or just not that smart. And guys that are immature emotionally. Why? God knows. I just can't figure her out. Could be that she wants someone dumber than her so that she doesn't feel like the dumb one? I never tried to make her feel that way anyway.

Obviously that 40 year old guy dumped her. Because she was so dumb to fall in love with someone who has nobody at 40. Who could've guessed. Instead of being with me, a responsible mature guy, she preferred him. Or another guy she wanted was a fucking divorcee electrician.

You know what the answer is lad? It hurts but you have to accept it. We are out of their league. They look at us and they think they are too dumb for us or that we want someone better than them, some way or another they just want someone in the same bracket they think they are in. I have met a lot of smart girls who think they are dumb and go for dumb guys. Honestly lad whatever we have they think it is above them or they dont think they can keep up. I mean looking back she wasnt the hottest or the brightest girl I knew and I probably would have had better chance going after those sorts of girls rather than her, but of course hindsight is 20/20. I realised back then after I was talking to some mates about how I used to like her, that she actually wasnt as attractive as I used to think she was, and my crush on her held me back from seeing other girls with similar or better qualities.

>They look at us and they think they are too dumb for us or that we want someone better than them, some way or another they just want someone in the same bracket they think they are in.
I don't believe that. I know this girl and she thinks she's smart and attractive and all. Her ego is out of the roof because she has lots of male attention, even if she doesn't realize those guys only want to fuck her and dump her.

>she actually wasnt as attractive as I used to think she was, and my crush on her held me back from seeing other girls with similar or better qualities.
Honestly, much as I see how she isn't that attractive anymore and she's not all that smart, I still find her better than other girls. Other girls are just straiht up fucking dumb and boring. She was above that. Not as great as I thought, but still better.