Pooping

>pooping
>splash
>butt is wet

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i actually kinda like that feeling
its like a nice wet cleansing surprise

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>take a shit
>takes 30 minutes to fully clean my ass

i really wish this fucking country used bidets

i'm going to get a bidet i can install in my toilet fuck this.

>Americans
Did you realize that everyone else in the world gets their butt wet after taking a shit? It's called using a bidet, you shitty booty. Your asshole isn't clean. You use dry toilet paper and smear shit all over your ass. Do you clean shit off of your shoe with a dry paper towel? No, so why wouldn't you give your body the same respect?

how is that a bad thing it feels like a pleasant tickle

I just bought one. It's cold and when it hits my butt hole my sphincter opens and closes and isn't sure what to make of it yet but I'm not using as much toilet paper now

the only countries that actually use bidets are France, Italy, and Switzerland

>pooping
>really dry poop takes forever to come out
>feels like sandpaper against my asshole when wiping

>listening to a nice album
>first 15 minutes is beautiful calm sounds
>suddenly musician starts sampling the sound of poop falling into a toilet

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>not timing a flush with your loaf drop

pleb

it's called poseiden's kiss

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I use wet wipes personally. Never liked the feeling of try toilet paper.

Just get a jug, fill it up with water, and pour it down your anus whilst using your fingers to clean it.

What? No are you retarded or something?

Untrue, shitty booty. Pic related is a Brazilian porno. They use bidets in Europe, Asia, and Latin America and Africa (in the places where they have clean running water and a bit of money)

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>there are people that don't get completely naked while taking a poop

just wash your ass in the tub after you shit.
Everytime after I shit after I wipe my asshole, I lie on my back in the tub and clean my asshole under the bathtub faucet with soap and water and a washcloth. Creating a piece of furniture specifically for washing your ass is a waste, just use the tub.

>just get completely naked, lie on your back in the tub, run your asshole under the faucet and wash with soap and water
>having a piece of furniture that fucking does that for you without making you look and behave like a complete retard is a waste

not a bad idea, senpai

>2018
>there are STILL people who don't use wet wipes

Use shower, brainlet.

>using a porn screenshot to prove a point
You have ascended to new levels of argumentative prowess.

If you don't get completely naked every time you shit there's something seriously wrong with you

I mean if you ask a normie plumber to install a bidet he'll have idea what your talking about

Lilypad.

come on kid.
you got to chuck some poo tickets in first or the toilet witch will spit at your bumhole.