Tell me about the darkest thoughts you've had recently

The weakness your talking about isn't real, real strength is focusing on bettering yourself and becoming a good person. You're just another weak piece of shit if you wan't to hurt others. I believe in you, better yourself user.

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The world is far from empty. You only feign emptiness because it's a necessary simplification your ego desires so that you have an explanation for something. In reality the world is a wonderful, chaotic mess full of potential, but it's a humbling process to admit that it is beyond complete human understanding and that you really are just a fool, but your ego won't allow this release. People who conclude a general "everything is nothing" are intellectually lazy but are too narcissistic to admit it.

Still, I also realize you may be communicating poorly and keep focusing on negative thoughts which , instead of focusing on positive thoughts, you just find security in assuming nothingness. Again, it's laziness. Being positive and happy is now the "punk rock" of human perspective. Depression and mentally ilness is getting too mainstream. It's almost rebellious to just be happy.

Read my post If you think I am afraid of you then you are truly lost in social interaction.

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honeypot thread also w

I was in the grocery store a couple of hours ago, saw a blonde girl with really bright blue eyes. For some reason I stopped what I was doing and just imagined holding her down and picking away at her face with a screwdriver, scooping out her eye. I really wanted to put them in a collection or something.

Never had these kind of thoughts before in my life. Dunno why I thought this now.

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though i think you're more or less right, you also lack sympathy

I love you please be my friend best post I have read in a long while, user

>mfw my dark thoughts are so contradicting I would have to spend a lot of time trying to explain my viewpoint

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>want to join the army so i can die and my family will get money to pay my student loans with

I recently drew up some ideas for an animation I want to make about a schizoid/disassociative individual. Exploring the stuff I experience made me really uncomfortable and always makes me realize the people who tell me I'm worrying about nothing or making shit up are horribly, and unfortunately, wrong.

I often think about how odd it is that the reality we experience exists. There is no reason for it to exist, and yet here it is right before my eyes, which of course also have no reason to exist. The feeling of consciousness is also very strange in how it feels like you exist seperately from the world, but it would only make sense for death to be like it was before you were born. Unfathomabley deep nothing.
These are thoughts I generally repress because of the feels they give me. It may be existential crisis level 1, but I still have a hard time with it.

Fool, You cannot fix yourself straight away. To have these thoughts fucking hurt I know I've been there but trust me. If you work at it little by little you can figure your shit out, even if its just going for a 10 minute run every other night. As long as your mindset is fuck everyone else I'm just gonna focus on me you'll be alright my man.

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Honestly not sure what to think of you lol.
>Call us pussies and egg us on
>Come back around and tell us to be strong and better ourselves

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You're probably right. I could have worded that to be less accusatory and insulting, but I admit my own personal emotional frustration regarding the matter and how easy that shit slips in.

nb senpai desu baka

I wasn't egging you on, I just knew you'd never do any of the shit you say.

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>be me, 17
>never lock doors
>break-in during the night
>instinctively grab dads gun (irresponsible owner, just kept it in a hallway dresser)
>only burglar i see i fucking murder
>call police as family wakes up
>sitting in living room looking at burglar's blank expression while my mother is crying in the kitchen
>knew the burglar from school (not black so dont ask)
recently ive been seeing his face everywhere. whenever i close my eyes i fucking see his crooked mouth and beady eyes. i dont know if this counts as a thought

Joseph Seed

everyone has a price

notorigigianal

Lmao so is that a challenge?

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You think that's odd?

I'm some ape x miles away talking (typing, writing, whatever) in an arbitrary string of words which come from some more or less nonsensical language that is basically the bastard child of vulgar latin, drunken germanics, dumb rural french people, and crazy ass vikings. Oh and some Celtics too. Fucking universe.

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Maybe you're right.

But maybe that also means I'm in more pain than I thought.

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>knew the burglar from school (not black so dont ask)

I'm sorry for your PTSD and all, but this cracked me up.

>Killing the rest of humanity and replacing them with clones of me.
>Raping shemales and traps.
>Having a daughter then having sex with her.

Oh also I'm about to expel liquid waste into some oddly shaped ceramic structure that isn't even the least bit ergonomic.

why even feel bad, that nigger wanted to steal your shit and possibly hurt people inside the house
im glad you shot him, one less worthless fucktard in this world

kissu kissu be my bfu

>fantasized about kidnapping every women who has rejected me and keeping locked up as my sex slaves
>thought that maybe the world is so irredeemably awful and full of suffering that it's not worth living at all. that I should give up my hopes of starting a family and bringing more people into this awful world and just end my life

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If you think it's a challenge then you're wrong, The only challenge I'm setting you is to better yourself.
I agree with this user I think you're in pain, well guess what everyone's in pain everyone fucking hurts, do you just wanna be another cunt that ends their life because everything sucks. Or do you wanna be someone who overcomes the hard times and is strong enough to lead other people out of it. Thats not something you're born with it's something you have to decide for yourself, trust me.

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i think everybody wants to be good and is frustrated by things that get in the way. the thing that i would most like to do is to help others who were like myself, in that they were stifled. i get it, i remember what it was like and how i was held back. we're in the material world but that consciousness is spirit; it's hard to know the latter, that's called being asleep. waking up is a lengthy process which is conducted through out doings or interactions with the material world. when you think the world is empty and there's nothing here for you, nothing anyone can say can get you out of it or get you to realize there's more, unless you get an instance where something higher talks to you, but that's out of our direct control. there is no use in berating anybody for something like that, because you can't do anything about it. people need to try to understand things for themselves, and when they try then they can see more, but you telling someone like that is actually you trying to control them in a way. we're spirit recognizing itself as spirit but we're still in the material world so we will never forsake all sorts of material form, we just pick better ones. we will always attract and stick with whatever ones resonate. so if youre an awkward teenager and youve got this programming that youre an awkward piece of shit then it's true that that's your ego, but you can't just say "get rid of your ego dumbass" because the spirit that they are isn't ready.

everything spiritual is intentionally vague because the person is supposed to make the connection with themselves and their individual life experience. theyll recognize that higher thing or prompting, or a peculiar happening or whatever. you can't tell someone to find God. God finds you.

>see pretty girl my age
>start to panick in my mind and realize I've wasted years alone and don't know how to get back into the social scene

Unironically considering becoming a serial killer.

>realizing how retarded i am

I agree, user. There were times in my past where my stubbornness kept me from doing what was necessarily to have a healthy lifestyle, but for whatever reason it took me so long to realize that a large number of medical professionals advocate certain things for a reason. It's ridiculous how much bullshit people are encouraged into when such magic is ready to be accessed.

Where do I find the people who will lead me out of it then?

>gathering all edgy fags ITT into an arena and watch them teleporting behind each other's backs

isnt really recent but
>horrified of reality and permanency
>the thought of only being alive once for the smallest amount of time makes me physically sick
>tfw im going to die and never come back
>tfw still feel suicidal because i wont be alive for long anyways, might as well cut the misery short

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>be me
>Fuck a super drunk girl at a party
>relise how easy it is to fuck super drunk girls
>step it up tp coke and E
>I know now why the BF in emergence did it
It feels great but its fucked up knowing I ruin girls lives with drugs and alcohol
Stupid bitches should have known better

>Contemplating on the shallowness of a largely genetically deterministic world
>Seeing people in the world as units and members of a society/tribe/greater unit
>Thinking about whether or not Dr. Calhoun's mice Utopia experiment is applicable to human populations in the modern day (he himself certainly thought so)

He feel for the
>real strength comes from bettering yourself
meme. Lol real strength is breaking another humans face open or taking what you want from a weaker specimen (ie. RAPE). I am weak and cant do these things myself but I have the upmost respect for anons who break the chains of society and live the selfish lives nature intended for our cucked race.

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>Wishing for the power to teleport 1/2 of the human population to some distant planet Neptune
>Imagining the billions of people being suffocated while being hurled in the freezing darkness by 1000mph winds
>It's finally quieter, simpler to live, and more peaceful on Earth with all those people gone forever

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I just want to shut out everyone, cut contact and stay home and play vidya.

>>Thinking about whether or not Dr. Calhoun's mice Utopia experiment is applicable to human populations in the modern day (he himself certainly thought so)
It 100% is.
However the mouse extinction isn't caused by overcrowding but by a lack of struggle.

>killed a dog
>attempted burglary (friend got inside the building but pussied out)
>attempted rape when I was 5
>vandalised
>petty theft
>voyeurism
>zoophillia

I am one deranged individual and quite capable of my murderous fantasies especially when a sexual element is involved. But you, you troll others and then say we should better ourselves without being in any position.

Still, live to love and you'll love to live

I'm a pretty normal loser who doesn't like to hurt real people or animals but.
>Setting a box of kittens on fire after thinking they might want to be spared a shit life
>Threatening my father with a machete for his shotgun to blow my brains out with
>Wanting to go postal to maybe stop some breeders
>Wanting to nuke africa and Israeli homelands (because I hate how violent they are but am jealous of their loli waifus)
>wanting to tell my parents I'm gay so they give up on me like I have with 3dpd

I am the most edgy and sad person ever debate me.

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>Very paranoid about gangstalking
>My head's been fucked by medicine and violence. I feel like I think differently than a few years before.
>Constantly get violent bursts of anger
>Hate and fear peoole. Want beat them up.
>Terrified of institutional and governmental authorities, and the fact that people can be stripped of their freedom or property.
>Am europoor so can't even get a gun as easily
>Somen americans want to repeal even their right to own firearms.
>there are so many stupid people everywhere, it makes me cry.
>I don't want to share this existance with them.
>Political correctness insanity. Truth doesn't matter. Groupthink.
>There's a genocide happening in south-Africa and no one cares.
>The future looks grim.
>Think there are people out to get me. I've made enemies unintentionally
>Animals are being slaugthered in a terrible manner every day by the millions.
>Fear I'll be reincarnated as a pig heading for slaughter
>I was ruined at a young age.
>Never met love. Always been lonely.
>Am a neet living alone in the woods.
>No real future prospects
>Nothing seems interesting.

>I've started unironically listening to Viper the rapper

This was all yesterday evening, but these thoughts are also constant. I sometimes feel like crying and just ending it all.

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Sometimes I imagine waking up my parents in their beds and explaining to them how much the failed me and my sister. I say all the shit I hold back constantly and then shoot my mother and then myself while my dad tries to stop me.

I have dreams where I snap and just start attacking people like my family or strangers. I just blank out filled with nothing but anger and revenge while I clench my teeth and hurt everyone I can sometimes while crying

I sometimes fantasize about calmly writing a suicide note, walking upstairs to the attic where the guns are kept, getting the key and opening the cabinet, taking the shotgun out and sitting on the stool in front of the desk, and then shooting myself straight through my face.

I have a fear of snapping ever since I had a breakdown on a bunch of drugs when I was 18. I had no idea what was real or fake and I just followed my thoughts as they came. Its a long story but what is most scary is that you still have control when you are insane. It is still you, but your mind has shifted so much that it seems perfectly reasonable to do awful things. Im terrified of things like religion now that are based on faith. If your ideas are that unstable you could slip and do anything.

Sometimes I think about getting old. Will I have a wife? Kids? Will I be content with my life? What if the world I live in then is different for the worst and not the better? Would it be better to die young?

>spend most of my time thinking about stalking some nigger gangbanger, following him home and violently killing everybody in the house
I mean shit like a hammer claw in the eye, grabbing a pot of boiling water off the stove, throwing it on them and then beating themwith it until theyre dead or the handle breaks, other edgy shit

I think i would have done it by now if i lived in a city.

I stabbed someone

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>i genuinely wish Putin would vaporize D.C.

''darkest thoughts'' lol.. the edgy phase is long over for me.

>He doesn't have his darkest thoughts