Paranoia

Gang stalking. I just scream inside my head until I'm alone so I can calm down. I go about my daily life without issues because I know how irrational and self centered the fear is when I remove myself from the situation and reflect.

I am constantly coming up with new suspicions about my few friends, like that they're sociopaths and are trying to hurt me, or they've fallen in love with me and want to fuck me, or they somehow know all my internet history and are leading me on. I also have on two occasions gotten the intense suspicion that my own mother was trying to poison and kill the whole family because of a weird thing she said before serving a meal, but only once did I act and not eat it. I've isolated myself now because of my constant delusions about my friends and my growing feeling of apathy and lack of desire for human contact, and I'm trying to be on the lookout to see if I'm falling into schizophrenia.

Teach me almighty secured senpai!!!

Men in ballcaps and/or parkas, SUVs, people walking dogs, answering cellphones when I approach or when they are in my periphery, cars slowing down or stopping on the road next to me, police, repetitive helicopters, people who happen to be going the same direction I'm going and maintain the same pace, ect.

In high school I had a lot of paranoid thoughts about what other people thought of me, but instead of worrying, I figured out that I should just develop a personality so I could know for sure what people thought of me
I can confidently say that everyone I knew saw me as a math nerd who acted confidently, said did something funny every now and then, and had a tendency to cause mischief and break things, but I never went too far. I know that people liked me because I'm the type of guy who you tell stories about, the memorable prankster who got along with everybody

They may, but I still feel like they don't like me/ don't care about me

thank god, I thought I was the only one on the planet, literally.

>How do you cope?
I won't reveal my secrets, officer

I've got a constant fear that my friend put a key logger or something on my computer when he built it for me

I always fear that people talk about me behind my back. Especially my crush

So I logged into her Facebook and Whaddya know, all my paranoid thoughts turned out to be absolutely true. I do not think I have ever hated myself so much for being right

yeah it's like I said earlier my biggest fear is finding out that people actually are spying, or thinking about me negatively, or getting in my business

The usual just wondering when the next time the cops are going to set me up is?

I did....now pay up bitch or I send your searches to the cops.

I hope it never happens to you, user. I was shaking for a solid hour after finding out, whether it was out of anger or sadness, I am not sure.

>All of my "friends" are trying to steal my pure christian gf that i waited so long for
It doesn't help that 2 of them have said directly to me that they wish I never met her so they could take her

this is going to sound turbo gay but i'm legitimately afraid of the idea of serving jury duty for felony cases
people involved in those are emotionally unstable and/or already shown they're willing to take violent measures
i feel like i would determine guilt entirely based off of which party's cohorts are less likely to murder me if i side against them

I'm pretty paranoid about being watched as well, though admittedly not paranoid enough to use Tor full-time.
I mean, I don't know if you can call it paranoia. My country's security service has definitely monitored me IRL. Unfortunately, nobody I've talked to has been able to tell me whether they do online tracking for all targets or just actual criminals.