Be me

>be me
>go to the shop to get a drink
>waiting outside leaning up against the wall just looking around since it's such a beautiful day
>I have this sort of tic where I pretend to smoke with a toothpick
>hear a voice to the side of me
>''trying to quit huh?''
>pretty cute slim petite girl who's like 20
>''uh what?''
>''smoking? that's why you're doing that right? craving a cigarette?''
>''o-oh yeah h-haha''
>''I've been trying to quit too, how long have you been doing it?''
>''uhh you know...when haven't I been doing it?''
>I start panicking
>literally never smoked a cigarette in my life
>''exactly the same as me, how many do you smoke a day? I smoke like 20''
>''h-haha I'm about the same as that too''
>''I'm sorry if this is awkward, you look kind of uncomfortable, but you really seemed like an approachable guy''
>''oh no...that's just the addiction talking, I get nervous and sweat a lot when I'm uhh craving a cigarette''
>''Oh I get it, I know this seems kind of forward but do you want to come to my smoke group tomorrow? my friend got me in it, it's like alcoholics anonymous but for smoking, we talk about how smoking has effected our lives and how to beat it. We can get some food afterwards if you want.''
>''I certainly could use help beating this darn addiction, I'd love to come''
>''great, here's my number. We can go get food afterwards and then we can watch a movie? I don't know, it's up to you''
>''Yeah that sounds great, we can definitely do that, I'm user by the way''
>''that's a nice name, alright then. I'll see you tomorrow then user?''
>''For sure''
>we hug and go our separate ways

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO, I DON'T EVEN SMOKE. I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER SMOKED IN MY LIFE. DO I JUST START SMOKING NOW SO I CAN RELATE TO HER?

Attached: 1473339665090.jpg (600x418, 27K)

smoke a cigarette or two for a reference point

No, don't smoke. Just admit to her that you were a little scared at first and lied because you didn't know what to say.

That's the most made up thing I've ever read

maybe u dont smoke but she be smokin yo sausage my pal

hip hip

You could just text her and explain yourself. That or say you areny comfortable talking to groups like that

Attached: 1523976067848.jpg (565x463, 28K)

I don't know, I just don't want to be lying all the time. I don't want the constant anxiety

but then she'll think I'm weird for lying

u r gonna have constant anxiety whether or not u lie u dingo

If this isn't fiction, just look up some relatable shit for smokers so you can hold a conversation about it without seeming too weird. If you're in, after a month or something, you can tell her oyu were bullshitting and she probably won't mind, don't throw it out there so early though.

Attached: huge.jpg (500x666, 53K)

Substitute cigarette with R9K (But don't say it out loud)
For example say "Whenever I would smoke people would slowly start to leave me" or "Whenever I would smoke I'd get irritable when someone would interrupt my smoke breaks, and that's why I want to quit"

Just don't fuck up and say R9K out loud cause that'll cause some questions