here is a story about me an robot that ended up as a cop
>Be me 17 (2007) have odd ticks of flailing my hand and jumping up and down listening to music on my ipod and saying stupid shit at random times
>enlist in US Coast guard as Maritime specialist which is fancy talk for Coast guard cop
>go to basic and A-school and somehow dont spill my autism everywhere
>get based in Port city in the Carolinas
>go through a month at best of field training and then given a beat up crown Victoria to patrol the base and surronding areas which is mostly ghetto.
>my autism starts to slowly bubble up when I am sitting in my car for 12 hours a day in between calls supporting the local police at domestics or stupid shit
>sitting in a empty parking lot off base and I start listening to my ipod
>start autistically dancing in my seat and screaming random nonsense
>doing this for a few minutes and listening for radio checks or my call number
>hear knock on my window
>its my senior enlisted aka chief of my station
>he has a confused look
>"what in the fuck are you doing Petty officer user?"
>"uhhhh sorry sir, I was getting bored and let myself go."
>"Report to my office tommorrow
>finish shift, go home and sleep, report to office
>have to take psych test
>fuck.jpg
cont.
Here is a story about me an robot that ended up as a cop
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go on op
also why did you want to join the US coast guard?
pt2.
>take test under supervision of resident psychiatrist
>get asked questions, like do I want to kill people or hurt myself, voices etc
>keep telling them, I was bored
>take written test... pass
>verbal test...pass
>my chief looks at me and seems happy
>"well Petty officer user, I was worried you were a nutcase but I guess you were just actually bored."
>get put back on duty
>do my job for 3 1/2 more years
>get out of USCG
>get job in large college town in Georgia but move in with my grandparents that live there
>finish academy there
>do my FTO training which is more of a formality since I am trained on a federal level
>get my own car, a brand new Impala
>work downtown and mostly work the foot patrol but still have a car
>autism is controlled and limited to my room at my grandparents.
>all I do is drink and shitpost when I get home, my grandparents are treating me like a child and I throw an autistic fit and smash a chair
>they look at me in horror
>I say sorry and go to bed
>finally move out to apartment near downtown near famous tree and can see downtown and below me on the bottom of the hill is the public housing
>get bright Idea, buy airsoft rifle from academy
>begin to watch the denizens of the public housing
>know their patterns
cont.
I wanted the federal policing experience and it offered alot of opportunities.
>start to watch and see patterns established by the people in public housing
>put rifle away and just watch from my porch on the third story with my binoculars while drinking PBR or some shitty beer
>see drugs traded, illegal weapons traded
>start remembering their faces and see them downtown asking for change
>I would say subtle stuff like "well I bet you have weed in your left pocket and you spent your last 10 on rotgut liquor from the korean package store on xyz street"
>I would always scare them and say "just joking"
>literally begin to autistically get to know what they do from 6pm-12 am while I watched them
>learn where the dealers live and end up connecting the dots to where the weapons are stolen from
>become weaponized autism
cont.
Op would you reccomend being a gop? Like yeah you're still a robot but has it helped you be more decisive or deal with people better, or gain any other skills like that? I'm thinking of applying
interesting story, not fake or gay so far
cont u cunt
This is the best thread in days/weeks. More plz.
Moremoremore
And this better not end with dinosaurs, loch Ness monsters, or monster mashes
This is why I come to robot
>tell my detective friend that I saw X and Y talking at certain point and tip them off
>detectives are raking in stolen weapons and pounds of crack and meth off the street
>everytime I hear about an arrest at home, I start violently flailing my hands and arms and scream in happiness
>my neighbor in my apartments calls the cops
>I open the door and its people I know and tell them "sorry, was the TV loud?"
>"Oh sorry user, just turn it down and see you tommorrow"
>continue my job, finallyget off my 1 year job probation and become a swat officeer
>start hitting the dive bars and networking
>OH SHIT my AUTISM DAYS ARE BEHIND ME!!
>meet a beautiful librarian that is artistic and has a rocking body
>approach her and we talk, get to know her and she give me her number
>I start volunteering for library security details after work to talk to her
>finally end my dry spell of 2 years without sex
>she leaves i nthe morning but we plan to hit the bar after my shift
>flail around like a retard after she leaves and dance around my apartment while I put on my uniform (march 2011)
>go to work
>normal day so far
>get a officer down call while at work
>"ALL UNITS RESPOND!!!!!!!!"
>get to scene first and see my old FTO had gotten shot in the face and a SGT has been shot
>render first aid to down SGT because my old FTO is dead
>Start screaming into the apartment complex I am in
>"IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!"
>"FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!"
>"YOUR GONNNA FUCKING DIE!!!"
AUTISM OVERLOAD
>other units get here and have to pull me off the SGT while they try to talk me down
>literally all I see is red
>flailing about like a dumbass through the scene but the chiefs and higher brass let me because they think I am grieving
>told I should go home and change my uniforms and get a monster and start with the manhunt
>I am seething and riving my car 100+ with lights back to my apartment
>I curb it and park it at my apartment complex
cont
yeah, you have to act super normal in all the interviews, I would recommend going armed forces for an easy way in
can I become a detective if I have an offence of smonking the weed? never been convicted or criminally charged or anything, I had to attend "counseling"
>wash up and call my GF and autistically ramble while I go into my gun closet and take out my pride and joy a M14 and start loading the magazines while screaming
>I hear a knock at my door
>its my neighbor
>"wil lyou shut up?" she says
>
open the door in full police gear with a loaded m14"FUCK YOU BITCH!!!! MY FRIEND JUST DIED!!"
>slam the door in her face and load up my vest with a full combat load
>walk to my car thats still running and curbed
>literally feeling autistic rage boiling in my body
>back up the car and the curb takes the bumper off and drive off
>cops are pouring in from all over the southeast, there are abour 6 choppers in the air at any time
>I have my rifle loaded and I am starting to flail my arms
>everyone is in some state of panic
>literally no one cares that I am in an autistic rage
>finally get dispatched to public housing on east side
>we are literally walking through the complex with AR's and in full combat gear like Iraq and yelling "IF you know anything about the police shooting there is a 10k award"
>Women and men are flipping us birds and we flip them back
>my spaghetti is going all out.
moar famalama cubana
Fuck you and your friend porky
Shut up nigger, OP is producing some nice OC.
Nig nog detected originally
Suck my shit covered dick faggot
I know your dick looks like a piece of shit user, but that doesn't mean it's shit-covered, you're just a nigger.
>our boys in blue make him this mad
>autistic
>two year dry spell
Moar Moar Moar plz thx op
Not a very original comment, deadbeat.
>being this mad about someone calling out a normalfaggot on Jow Forums
You have to go back.
Ah this is what I needed an excellent greentext. Please go on OP.
>we spend the next three days looking for this guy
>I am told to go home and rest
>sleep
>wakee up, do it all over again
>work all day
>get a call that night they have the suspect surronded
>FBI,SWAT and everyone is there
>suspect will not come out of the house unless he is on live TV
>I show up and I am sitting on my car with my scope o nthe door
>press crews are filming the stand off
>we all want to kill this dude
>finally he surrenders
>its peaceful but we know he is gonna get his ass beat in jail
>people are talking about how he didnt surrender because some guy was screaming "IM gonna fucking kill you" i nthe apartment complex the crime happened in
>go home and rest my spaghetti
>go to work the next day and get called into the Chiefs office
>get told I am getting put on admin duty for causing damage to the car and for yelling at a citizen and will require a psych eval
>get eval and pass, get to keep my badge
>literally spend the next 6 months downtown behind the bulletproof glass hearing about parking tickets and coffee being stolen
>librarian girl dumps me because "you have PTSD"
>end up going to work in ill fitting uniforms and 5 o clock shadow
>get put back on footpatrol after 7 months on the desk
>I deal with the homeless often and drink my self after my 6am to 3 pm watch.
>go to dive bar and become friends with odd guy that has OCD touretts
>become good friends
>he literally snorts his adderall at the table but its a legit RX
> become friends with all the people at the bars
>finally feeling like I am human again
>start to dress nicely in uniform again
>start to know all the homeless, the locals and others
>become a well loved dude even by the liberals and anarchists
>I start to spend 400 in beer a month
>meet girl, she is a punk type girl and I am "the man"
>we move intogether
>after a few months my autism arises
cont.
M O A R
this better not be some loch ness monster bait
Go back to fucking Reddit for fucks sake
More unarmed whites are killed than blacks but ok poltard.
I'm reading OP go on
Youre an inspiration Opie. Pls cont
>my GF loves my ticks and knows I keep it at home and not at work
>I finally get to corporal
>finally get on SWAT raids
>raid dealers houses and talk shit while we do
>rumors flying around in public housing about some smart ass SWAT guy
>develop a SWAT alter ego called "Swift response Autists"
>literally raid hosues with my team on full autism mode on
>the LT lets me because it psychologically scares the suspects
>one raid I even took down a metal door with a crowbar without any help
>only do SWAT when needed and stay a nice little community policing cop on days I am not needed
>Swat in this city is elite and alot of cops dont know that X cop is a SWAT cop and neither do the citizens
>my drinking problem remains steady and my friends and GF stay beside me and dont care about my little autistic ticks
fastforward to 2016
cont
do your dooty
thank yoiu my son ;__;7
yes yes go on
origigigigig
bump, please post more robocop
>be 2016
>married to punk girl, own my grandparents house
>RIP grandma and grandpa
>promoted to SGT of the community policing unit
>still autistic SWAT guy on the days I am told to be
>been fighting severe depression and alcoholism
> always at the dive bar in downtown and my command knows it
>one night, I get super drunk and cant drive home and decide hey im gonna walk home which is 3-5 miles way
>get stopped by my coworkers and they drive me home
>get my ass chewed out by my wife
>the next day my LT chews me
>get busted to CPL
>leave SWAT team and other billets
>now I am relegated to patrol
>new guys from Atlanta always fill the SGT billets and command always has "paperwork" issues with my packets
>plan to ride it out until retirment
Good for you user Im legit proud of you
thanks for listening robots, keep your dreams alive and always strive for greatness even if you think your not good enough!
I have lurked her for years and don't plan to post OP threads anymore but I will definitely be lurking and commenting on your as "user"
have a good day and drink a cold tall boy of PBR or NEwcastle for me.
Good job user :) may you live a long and happy life
You really did it OP
fake and gay Gj3z1
Thank you for sharing your story user. Don't feel down for your slips, life isn't about reaching the toppest rank
Godspeed autistic weapons and tactics user
I hope someone screencapped this.
Now when I visit a college town in Georgia, I am going to scream REEE around every department and wonder if that officer in the car is a weaponized autism.
Thread theme
Thanks Anons, God speed! Don't drink and drive.
Man I wanted to be a cop when I was younger and reading this just fulfill my wishes.
Well, there is an officer shortage all over the nation.
>tfw alcoholic
>tfw literally shaking when behind the wheel if i dont drink
>tfw have a bac>.1 at all times when driving
>tfw drive fine
>tfw sober me would have a tougher time driving/more likely to wreck
>tfw if there's ever a DUI checkpoint im fucked
feelsfuckingbadman
Some highlights of my playlist on my ipod was
Elements of life by Tiesto
The Halo 1/2 OST
AIR
Pail Oakenfold
>The Halo 1/2 OST
based
I love you OP
At least you got to sperg responsibly
>The Halo 1/2 OST
I fucking love you
he said Atlanta stupid
the first time i ever assembled posts in paint I hope it's not bad quality
not him, isn't that in georgia
Yep, they were wonderful soundtracks
I guess it was responsible lol
Atlanta sucks, its a shithole
I am i Georgia, grew up here and work here.
I was based in Carolina my time in the USCG
This was me a couple of years ago. Please listen to me man. I know you've heard it before, but do anything you can to avoid the inevitable dui. I mean like even find an alternative to driving if you have to. (bus, uber, etc.) It is so much worse than you think it will be. I got in a not at fault accident and I have had to pay over 10k in money I do not have along with a laundry list of other things that impede my life. I have to get rid of my car now because I can't afford the doubled insurance and breathalyzer fees.
It doesn't matter how well you can drive, it only matters that they can pin you with a charge that will allow the state to fuck you out of thousands of dollars.
It doesn't matter how well you can drive, it only matters that they can pin you with a charge that will allow the state to fuck you out of thousands of dollars.
Cool story Chad now gtfo
>thinking I am chad.... Lol
>have multiple gfs
>beloved by town
>interesting intense life full of action and adventure and gunplay
>power over others
>probably 6ft +, 165 lbs. +
B-but muh spaghetti.
You are the defintino of Chad.
>>>/reddit/
>the virgin autist vs the chad autist
I don't think you have autism if that story is true, probably something like adhd or tourette's instead
Naw, I was tested for tourett and its a no go, your probably right about the adhd thing.... Unsure
Or maybe I just tried instead of bitching about it.
Bump for the glory of robocop
It's been real guys, time for a beer!
Listen up OP. You're an autistic faggot. Stop trying to force spread this meme.
Stop posting it on this board.
Everyone, sage and move on.
You are literally OP, stop same fagging trying to make this popular, you're a loser faggot, and a liar.
sage'd
>OP is a cop
I constantly check Officer Down Memorial Page, I'll be smiling the day you die if and when you die someday
I probably won't even know it was you
You'll just be a dead cop
Schizos and nignogs go away
Force spread what meme ?
kys, auti downie. I think since you're so proud of sharing this, I'm sending this whole story to your boss, I'm sure detectives will know how to find out who you are based on these stories alone.
stop making new threads with your gay ass shit
You tards literally waitndays for something like this and now your going apeshit.... Lol
nobody is going apeshit, except for your samefagging retarded ass.
Crazy how nature does this.
I hope you get a dui you son of a bitch
Seriously though, fuck cops. Only people who like them are authoritarian bootlickers who get off to black people getting shot. Only people who become cops are insecure losers who got bullied in school and want to feel like they actually matter.
Acab
I got quints, so therefor I am automatically correct.
Where did the bad man touch you son?
Crazy how nature make dat
Bottom text
oh that a hilarious read, made my day OP