Femanons, why don't you put eggs in your pussy then squeeze them out pretending you're laying them?

>stop putting all of this on me

Put it up your fat pussy

>well why don't you stuff one up your ass and shit it out?

males cant lay eggs user

HUMANS DON'T PRODUCE EGGS, user

you can lay just as many eggs as i can

yes they do. you wouldnt know that though

Too close to reproduction or sex to be in my comfort zone

i once put an eos lip balm up there. its a similar size and shape to an egg. i bled all over the place (probably broke my hymen) it was hard getting it in and almost impossible to retrieve. i tried to push it out but eventually i had to insert a spoon to get it because it was so far in. bad idea all round desu.
if you think im lying ill show you the bloodstain on my carpet where ive tried to wash it out.

>stop putting all of this on me
Wow bro. You are VERY convincing!

What the fuck does this even mean? I haven't had the privilege of scrambling a hard boiled egg inside of my organs at the advice of a fucked up r9k user?

What the fuck, I hope it at least felt good

Purity lost to lip balm. What a waste.

was fucking awful. pic related, had to throw it out afterwards because it was quite a traumatic experience.

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Yo are you the guy that made the lay eggs thread? that was one of the best threads we need more of them

I've seen them before, I know what you meant. Terrible way to lose your hymen but at least you get an interesting story to tell people on Jow Forums lmao

id already stuck the hairbrush handle up there , and tampons, so i was surprised. its the only time ive bled though, but it was maybe more like a tear in the vagina entrance rather than the hymen.

Holy shit. This is embarrassing.
oriogigd

oh my god. eggvasion, ripanon

>ovums are not fucking eggs, we call them that because they serve a similar role but they are just a cell with fat around them
>you do not fucking lay them
>they are not externally incubated
>they do not have a shell

STOP

Wait a second, women already squeeze out eggs from themselves every time they have a period. And from the sounds of it, it seems like it sucks ass.

just put the egg up there its not a big deal

>be little
>mom says that "when you get older, you'll have periods which is when the egg leaves your body"
>thought it was literally laying eggs
Thanks a bunch, mom, I spent five years trying to avoid having my period.

Reminder that you're going to have to push a kid out of there one day.

It's okay, when I was in second grade I thought people got pregnant from kissing and sperm came from the mouth and a guy could control to shoot into a woman or not...

sit on my face bitch

do you get traumatic flashbacks when you are confronted with eos lip balm sticks?

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PUT AN EGG UP UR ASSHOLE FIRST

how did you avoid it? anorexia?

i'm infertile haha i'm gonna drink cum until i die and remain completely without any kind of human parasites, fuckers

me too, a friend of mine convinced herself she got pregnant from "colin's mouth sperm" when were like 9 and she was the first person in our class to get her period, it was a few weeks later and she bled everywhere and said she was having a miscarriage to everyone. teacher got involved.

life is awful

Why did I laugh at this? I truly cannot be saved

No I mean I was searching for ways to avoid it, it was probably from ages 5-10.
Don't have to push a kid out if you don't get bregnant

yes, hopefully 2 or 3 desu. i know it will be really painful but at least they wont cut open my vagina to get them out like they did to my mum.

cant say ive actually seen one since, unless i have and i just have selective amnesia.

>i'm infertile haha i'm gonna drink cum until i die

girl(male) detected

why not go full george bataille and crack eggs with your butt cheeks all over my face?

incorrect, girl with huge fucking fupa detected

i'm infertile and i've also come with rape defense, aka the most padded fat pussy known to mankind

I hate myself for getting that reference
Originalio of course

>aka the most padded fat pussy known to mankind

aka a fat ass(male)

pls post bloodstain pref w/ feet ty

>tfw too ugly to get raped
Feels good man

>yes, hopefully 2 or 3 desu.
That's good to hear. Too many fembots hate kids.

There are no females on this board
CEASE THE LARPING

True. Are you from the north east? Im looking for a gf

i tried really hard to scrub it, wouldnt fully come off. will move home soon i think so the new owners will probably have to replace the carpets anyway

kids are cute, but i do worry they would end up autists like me.

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omg thx ill put in a good word for u durin the beta uprising

Gotta love this website

i like you435

>ovums are not fucking eggs, we call them that because
soooo... they're eggs?

>i tried really hard to scrub it, wouldnt fully come off. will move home soon i think so the new owners will probably have to replace the carpets anyway

THE MARK OF SHAME

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this thread could have been great if it weren't for those who cannot be convinced that females wish to engage in conversation on the internet.

no. people lay eggs. duh.

ok bitch. thats totally what op opened with.

I would eat that eggriginggino

this desu > wtf

I already technically "lay an egg" once a month, user. Try to find a respectable fetish, like me. Petrification, for instance.

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What if it gets stuck up there? Going to the hospital because I have an egg stuck in my twat would be absolutely mortifying.