>be me
>a friendless NEET, living in isolation for the past few years
>realise that you actually long for affection and human company despite all these attempts to prove myself otherwise
>since can't make any friends IRL, decide to join a discord server
>feel like an alien on Earth, barely say anything, mostly observe
>notice that one person who you can relate to a lot and share similar interests
>PM them, have somewhat a decent conversation
>immediately like them (which is something that happens rarely with me), want to talk more
>after a few conversations start feeling like I annoy them with my presence
>decide to message them less so that I don't come off as clingy
>since they're invisible all the time not sure when you can message them and when not, unless they message me first
>the fact that they only get on Discord somewhere around 11pm-12am contributes to that as well
>wait for them to get online whole day, but when they do feel hesitant about messaging them
>feel lonelier than before, feel real fucking pain when you see them saying something on a server and not to me
This is my first and only online friend in 2 years... why am I like this, lads? What should I do to get over this unhealthy attachment but still manage to be friends? What would you do in my place?
Attachment to people online thread
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
mega.nz
twitter.com
You could tell them you like talking to them and want to talk more but don't want to annoy them. Also if your presence is annoying, learn how not to be annoying.
Well where do I learn that, user? I have no social skills and I can't really tell what most people find annoying. This annoyance is a thing I feel, but I feel many things and don't know if that's true, you know.
An attempt to not let this thread die so fast.
>meet girl off of r9k
>shes busy all day and messages me at specific points in the day
>she claims to be too nervous to message me sometimes
>I take this as a sign that shes upset at me
>act extra clingy
Its a match made in heaven, a perfect relationship.
This is why you never worry about what youre saying to someone because likely they wont care if its weird as long as they like you.
When I get back from shopping with family at Christmas, or when I get back from some other sort of family outing, I always have a massive wave of despair when I get home to my miserable little room after seeing all the people and all the lovers out there in the world. Isolation helps because you start to become detached and even forget about the world. But when you have a brief taste and return to your pit, you are reminded of how pointless and hollow your "life" is.
Aren't you afraid that she might abandon you?
This. How do you deal with it?
Im horrified of it yes. Absolutely.
There's this Finnish girl I've been speaking to online since 2013 that I became obsessively attached to for a few months, all in secret. I even made JOIs about her that I masturbated to and had a photo of her on my phone. I'm still disgusted with myself for that period, and while we still talk she doesn't know. She's one of the only people I talk to, pretty much every other online person I've met has abandoned me. I wish her the best.
The person that I got attached to is also Finnish. What a coincidence, eh?
If you mind, what do you talk with her about? You've known her for quite a while, and sometimes when I meet people online I run out of things to say in a matter of weeks.
Mostly ramble about games, anime, life, and the occasional controversial thought. She's quite an odd girl but I find her very comforting to speak to, probably because of how open she is. When we started talking I found it sort of awkward but I'm used to it now. I feel like I can let my guard down and say what I'm thinking to her, you know?
>you know?
Sadly, no. It's cool that you have someone like her, user. Appreciate that.
Went through this extensively in the past. I can no longer pm people just for the sake of talking now though. It was just too stressful to mantain relationships with the constant feeling that my presence irritated other people. Sometimes talk to old friends in a groupchat we made several years ago, it's alot less stressful than pms.
Messaging randoms would just make me panic its not really worth it
I personally find group chats more stressful than anything though.
Dude, I feel terrible for one reason:
I ALWAYS have to be the one to kick a conversation off.
Yeah, I'm very talkative, I'm not shy or quiet, but that doesn't mean I have to run after others.
I've gained a whole dozen of new contacts in just a week and feel unsatisfied. Because it's all just banter , jokes chitchat, there's no connection at all. And it's not that I don't like chitchat and banter, I love it. But it's just... shallow, you know?
I crave to give someone the feeling I care about him/her, as a buddy, and get this feeling back.
I don't wanna feel like a pushover every fucking time I message someone because I'd like to talk.
I don't wanna feel like some "placeholder" anymore, like a random dude among thousands.
I want someone to open up to me, listen to someone's personal thoughts.
That's why I don't judge or lesson people, and support them instead.
And I wanna give back the same trust.
I'm looking for platonic intimacy. Because it's been 5 years since I've last had someone I really call a "friend", because I want to know that we share knowledge nobody else will.
Because I don't wanna just "exist" together, I want someone to express what's on his resting on his soul and do the same. And not in the millenial "self-focussed" way, I'm talking about compassion and brotherhood.
It does sort of make me panic too. But I do it nevertheless because this isolation of mine is killing me.
i always worry that i might say something stupid then they screenshot it and laugh at me with other people, even worse if it was a girl i was interested in.
its not a good feel.
I hate this. I've gotten extremely attached to people I've met online several times. They never seem to seriously care about you like you do them, sometimes it feels like they don't even recognize me as human for how easily they dismiss my feelings. I spent six months talking to a guy 14 hours a day and when I asked to visit him in his home country he ghosted me. Just like that he could vanish without any regard to me.
I'll be your friend.
vitnick#1560
>femanon claims they want someone to talk to
>proceed contactfaggin
>talk to femanom for a while
>try to make an online friend
>as soon as I make it obvious I'm not interested in stuff like erp or trading pictures they ghost me
Happened four times now. I never learn.
I really want this user. I'm shy and real autistic but eventually I promise I'll open up and rant your ear off. Are you more likely to add me if I admit I'm a XX chromosome?
>I'm looking for platonic intimacy.
I know how you feel. It's not hard to find people to talk to, but it's hard to find someone you can really connect with. I feel like I can never find people I "click" with, people who really get me and that I can relate to. But I also wonder if I don't take the chance to show people who I am enough, to express a bit of that genuine self and see if they respond in kind. That's kind of a chicken-or-the-egg problem, actually: it's hard to be open with others before you have some degree of trust and mutual understanding.
>tell the only person who I want to talk with that actually I need him and I want to talk with him
>he doesn't care
Hehe...
>>You could tell them you like talking to them and want to talk more but don't want to annoy them.
Yeah "I AM A GIANT OMEGA PLZ PITY ME" usually works really well for people.
>meet someone in an online game
>really like their personality, turns out she's a girl
>she starts playing other games and plays "our" game less and less
>no realistic way to connect outside of the game we both play since she never talks about anything
>don't want to pathetically follow her to other games since she probably already has orbiters there
I wish she cared about me half as much as I care about her. Typical isn't it.
>get sort of what you are looking for
>we talk a bit
>few days later """ERP""
>say we love each other a few days later
>proceeds to ghost me for entire weeks and just has time to textfuck
I want love, I wish I could actually have a girl I could listen to and hear me out. I'm too fucking clingy when I really like someone can't complain about the textfuckery and pics I guess
People are usually too busy with their own problems, user. We can't expect people to take care of ours when they already have a heavy burden themselves.
>I'm looking for platonic intimacy
Dyde I feel the same. I just want to conect with someone. Not romantically but in some kind of trascended friendship. Anyway English is not my language but I could try. Do you want to be my friend?
Dude* sorry for my mistake.
No one wants a third world faggot sorry .
inb4 300 gorillion replies. you should drop that bomb after you already know someone, that's what makes it work out better
Clinginess is the surest way to make a girl hate you. Literally 100% of women are naturally disgusted by it, either rid yourself of that weakness or stay a cuckold forever.
Oh, but do guys even bother to add other guys onto discord in r9k? Genuinely asking because I figure they wouldn't and I really need a friend.
Is it really too clingy to want to speak with someone more than once a week and not just about lewd shit?
I've made plenty of friends on Discord. There also used to be steam threads on /v/ where people would make friends for vidya, but that got ruined by gay ERP NEETs.
ERP really is the new bane.
It's okay, you don't have to be so rude, you know?
This girl Im talking to called my clinginess cute. Am I getting fucked with?
Cute isn't exactly the descriptor you want, as a man.
That is true, but Im not too worried about that. I think theres more bigger problems to worry about
"Cute" doesn't really mean you're in, my friend. Do you honestly think she's going to pick that over a masculine chad she runs into and has a shot with? Women want to fawn over a man above them, not be fawned over by a beta.
there's no such thing as friendship, you should just think of interactions with people as mutually beneficial exchanges and if you feel they're not mutually beneficial then you cut them off
h-he's a big guy...
FOR UWU
God I wish I could slap you so hard right now.
Tfw fucked up with a grill I loved talking to on discord but depression kicked it and I didn't have shit to talk aboot anymore because im a boring cunt
Man no matter how much time passes, you can never truly shut yourself off from others
Its the worst.
Just find more friends. You already took the first step.
I'm the one who posted this, I didn't expect it to be so well-received
Do you guys want a discord or steam? I'm in Europe, by the way
McSaf#6296
>FOR UWU
This made me laugh more than it should take your fucking (you)
Every single friendship I've had on discord, it's always been me making the first attempt to start a conversation.
If I don't do this, it seems like the other person will ALWAYS find someone else or something else to occupy their time, which is completely reasonable.
I've come to the conclusion that it's equally difficult for them to be aware that I want them to talk to me unless I make it clear, but making it clear will make me appear clingy and needy which is a negative.
Not to mention I get jealous and insecure and paranoid, especially when it comes to more intimate friendships. I fear that the other person is always talking to someone else more, enjoying their company more. I feel like I'm never enough.
doesn't matter to me desu
not that much into the whole roastie witchhunt.
... you won't get any special status, if that's what you mean. I just posted my contact in a self-reply.
I mean I'm a dude but you could have me listen to you.
it's k my dude, see
Gunjyguy#4537
OP add me, I am robot as well and im ALWAYS online, NEET HIKKI here.
YOu better add me naon.
i know i would get this way if i ever tried to talk to anyone again, but it has almost become a game for me to see how long i can avoid meaningful social contact. it helps to never have really experienced much or any of it in the first place. it also helps to hate yourself to the point that you dont let yourself have anything good like that even if you did want it.
that is literally me too but loneliness has started encroaching and it makes feel awful
>
join discord servers and post frequently people will like you for being a familiar face
Yeah man I know them feels, I used to be able to ignore my depression by playing games or writing poetry.
but been so badly depressed lately I just sleep as much as I can and think about killing myself while im awake.
last time I felt happy was when I woke up from a dream and for about 10 seconds I thought I was still in the dream where I wasnt a fuck up
>lain
>repeating the same shit multiple times on different lines
>tfw you think you know the OP
>tfw you want to continue being friends with them forever and continue talking
>tfw they stop talking to you because they think you're just talking to them out of pity.
>tfw you didn't pay enough attention to them because you thought they were busy because of the yellow idle sign.
>tfw you don't mind clinginess, and actually enjoy it. Clinginess shows that someone cares.
>tfw you genuinely care about them.
>tfw you may have just lost a friend...
>tfw people form a strong attachment to you online (some irl)
>dont care at all if I dont reply sometimes and outright stop talking to them because I expect them to do the grunt work otherwise Im too clingy because I need social interaction
>meet someone similar to me
>ghosts me twice, both instances my fault because she was falling in love
>get super mad at the ghosting and taint the relationship
>realize this is how probably others feel about me when I dont pay attention to them but Im such a crowdpleaser I dont try to abandon them at all
im actually watching a program of codependency right now, oh the irony lel.
You should only be called cute when youre manipulating her. it makes them think theyre getting validated when the only thing you want to do is bury your cock in that clingy pussy
If they get validated in a proper way, they will become addicted to it. Just dont make it too obvious and say youre such a cool girl! At all times
Not op but whats your Tag?
What does your name mean?
I think it is rather impossible that you know me, though
Hnnngh.
Not original lmfao
Oh crap, if you don't know who I am, then I almost certainly don't know you. It's crazy how a lot of the situation seems to be about the same though.
gammaflux#3682 was my discord name. Now I feel like an idiot though...
>wanted to be alone and relax with my own stuff, to avoid the pain of betrayal and dependency
>make the best friend I could have ever imagined, and start talking to them a lot
>they fall in love with me, and are very attached and jealous and want to talk all the time
>I eventually decide that it's okay for me to want it, too, and try to talk as much as we can
>they eventually get tired of me and ghost me for months because they need time alone
>my mix of avoidance and the dependency that I had to try hard to let myself accept with this person results in great stress and paranoia that lasts to this day
Ah you're right. For a moment I thought you were another person, too.
Welp, I'm an idiot. Sorry for wasting your time OP.
Nah you're cool, bud. Don't be too hard on yourself.
OP I couldnt add you it said It was wrong :(
Thanks. I hope things work out for you. Good luck user!
Wait, how much of my post applied to you?
>everyone uses discord
>now impossible to make friends on steam unless you want friend collectors/trannies
if you use discord you don't understand what its like to be truly lonely
I guess this is the thread to write this in. Letter thread was deleted
This is for blue, I saw that you came back just to delete me and Im just curious now as to why. I thought that after we had cleared that little misunderstanding I had that it would go better, but I guess that's not the case. Im just wondering if it's something I said or if you just got tired of me.
I'd like an answer to be honest, I dont really care if its harsh or something I just dislike being left wondering why. You're probably still away but we all know Jow Forums is hard to escape from. I have a new job (no Luigi costume this time, just a hat) and its taking a lot of my time so I dont even know if you'll reply, just add me back if you want to talk. If not then fine, I'm barely 20. Like you said before, I'm still a baby and I hope you find what you're looking for
slim
Oh my bad, I wrote it down wrong. gammaflux#3862
Pretty much everything except the yellow idle sign. I never really used it. :D
Well again, I wish you the best of luck with your friend. Stay strong user!
>everyone seems to be better friends with someone other than you
I'm tired of being the third wheel.
Be honest with me here, OP, is it a girl?
Thank you. You seem like a genuinely caring person so I wish you all the best.
>think someone is your best friend
>they casually mention their best friend (some other guy) in chat
o-ok..
Why are you asking? Do you think I get romantic feelings for her?
>no Luigi costume
Top kek. Might as well post mine now that this is a letter thread
This is for Emma. Ya i dont think youre interested anymore. You wont see this since your haughty self will prevent you from visiting this place. But uh well im glad we had something at the beginning of this year but like the last time we talked i wanted you to shut the fuck up because i was masturbating. I dont care neither you do so i wish you good luck in the future but I am betting that you will go back to your usual habits of being a druggie, leeching to your best friend, her dad and their business and you will never be able to meet a guy whos compatible with you because youre too sheltered to get into a relationship. Seriously theres a lot wrong with you but even with that you can have one, you just make excuses for yourself. Oh yeah, stop ghosting people. Its not hurtful, just shows how immature you are. And you will never have a family if youre keen on being immature. Youre not 14 anymore although that goes for almost everyone who has le BPD meme
My best friend is someone I met online in an irc 5ish years ago.
We're business partners now
Other people I meet online who I connect with I usually end up only talking to for like a month or two though.
whats your business
originally
why are you so mean user?
im not whoevery our responding to but why so mean?
I know you do because I've been in the exact same position, cut it off now if you don't stand a chance, you'll only hurt yourself more if this goes on.
p-please stop posting her I'm supposed not to jack off
Cause idk. I try my best really but she is just a stick in the mud. See
If you guys are in need of somebody to talk to, feel free to join. Small server, no frills, focus on self improvement, active listening, filled with anons from many boards and walks of life. We're here for you.
S7tvWU
Sells soaps. Like tyler durden
Bro do you want like 500 megumin pics?
a ton are NSFW I made a file share for some anons.
Jerk to megumin :) mega.nz
I guess you know your situation better than anyone
why do you this to me user
t-thanks
Yeah but I usually change it. I dont even know why i came here. I was shitposting on fit at the moment. I guess I just wanted to be able to relate to poor anons for something that happened to me over my need for escapism.
I have to otherwise you Pajeets will never learn.
>i know i would get this way if i ever tried to talk to anyone again, but it has almost become a game for me to see how long i can avoid meaningful social contact. it helps to never have really experienced much or any of it in the first place. it also helps to hate yourself to the point that you dont let yourself have anything good like that even if you did want it.
a/s/l/khv status qt
Yeah the manager approached me and said I was gonna wear a Luigi costume the next day so I quit. Obviously I didnt tell him it was because of that lol
We're developing a porn game.
yeah, nice try buddy. not gonna fall for it. sounds like youre just trying to pull something on me anyway.
What kind of job was it? Hope i never have to dress up like fucking luigi lol
if your not a robot fuck off.
im not a incel i been with girls but have insane depression and im hikki NEET, I like the robots here.
jerking to 2Di s fine user.
And megumin needs us to sacrafice our goop to her
just a retail job for event/holiday decorations and items. It was alright, what a shame. My new job is a bit better but so tiring. Got a day off today