How did your social skills get so bad in the first place?

How did your social skills get so bad in the first place?

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Overthinking which led to constantly embarrassing myself, which led to eventually avoiding social interaction outside of necessity. And smoking weed to cope with the loneliness made it worse. I can't speak to people without a million different phrases trying to come out at once.

They didn't. I'm fine, I just come here for entertainment.

Never learned them, never used them. They atrophied like an unused muscle. And there's nothing that can be done. The window to learn has passed.

A couple days ago my best friend who is studying psychology asked me if I thought I was on the spectrum. That explains a lot.

Being bullied and having no friends throughout education really fucked me, I remember thinking it wouldn't matter at all when I was younger but its really come back to bite me.

No friends and wasn't part of any clubs or that sort of shit. My parents saw nothing wrong with this and the problem got worse.

realized everyone hates me
withdrew from social interactions out of fear of being hurt

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How can a window pass, does it have legs? You mean the window has closed.

Do not repIy to me.

Jeeeesus, you didn't lie when you said that you don't know how to talk to people :D

How was I supposed to reply to that? You knew what I meant, but you needed to take a little semantic dig at it.

Some people are born in certain ways or develop certain ways that make them bad at being social creature

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I didn't have many friends growing up and I didn't say my first word until I was 3

I like talking about language use and linguistics. That's all there is to it. It wasn't meant to be an attack.

Based

Subjective hatespeeches desu....life finds a way

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Not the guy but jeez I hate when people like you joke about useless semantics. Consider fucking off, it's annoying as all hell.

>get so bad
>implying they were decent ever

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I never had any.
Like really.

We should do what is right for the younger generations like build a future for our children and separate yourself from the same people and government people who just our children in the schools

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You have shitty social skills if you think that wasnt condescending as h*ck

I really hope you didn't just unironically use a smiley face. The absolute fucking state of this board in the current year +3

Depends on which ones
Being a manipulative talker is pretty much an inherited trait in my family, but opening up and saying what I really feel has always been hard. My problem is that I want friends who like me for me, not some fake persona I made up to appeal to people to get what I want.

SOCIAL SKILLS COME WITH PRACTICE AND EXPERIENCE

SOCIAL SKILLS COME WITH PRACTICE AND EXPERIENCE

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no but a window of opportunity can pass you by
dumb esl poster

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Based + your bias

- 1

Failure to communicate desu

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Protip:
Never really say what you really feel or think, only do half truths or lies.
And REALLY don't say what you feel or think if anyone say to you that you should be open/be yourself/express yourself/put your feet forward.
When you hear that, then you have to switch to a new persona (full lie/make up mode) to survive and just figure out what they really want from you then conform or disassociate as fast as you can with them if possible.
Such statements from thise kinds of people reveal that they can't be dealt with on along term basis.

Ask me anything specific if you want to know why I see it this way. It's all taken from 28 years of experience.

As a child. Not possible as an adult.

This is deception user....not good for real human connection which is what we all need

Gb2 military cucking

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shit teacher made me place the books of the library in order while the other kids were in recess
i still remember that bitch because her smell of shit and horse face

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>born with social anxiety (both my parents have it)
>isolated from groups at a young age
>girls shunned me as early as kindergarten
>growing up as an atheist in a Christian-heavy school which lead to kids trying to forcefully convert me
>physically bullied in primary school
>first girl I had a crush on cut off all contact when she found out
>constantly hated by anyone once they got to know me even a little bit
>fought against my social anxiety once and asked out a 5/10 nerd girl
>was thrown back when she only went on a date with me to live tweet it about how terrible it and I were then she told me to fuck off on my birthday
After that I pretty much just lost any interest in trying to make friends or girlfriends and so I usually go months without seeing someone outside of uni that is not work related.
I can keep up facades if decent social skills in short bursts but I cannot do it for long.

I was violent and big so no one ever corrected my autism

Constant fear of being rejected. Constant fear of saying something wrong so I over think what I say.

It's ironic that I found people that I could talk to like a normal human being in my life. I felt so safe around them that I was the one that wouldn't shut the fuck up. But that's only 1/100 people. The conversations actually feel organic and natural.
The rest I would always be afraid. Not knowing what to say.

Wow, you people really can't take a joke or two. I guess it's true what people are saying about you on reddit ;-)

Bullies and ostracized ever since fucking PRESCHOOL created a vicious cycle of never having anyone to socialize with and social skills getting worse.

I got bullied all the time until I finished secondary school because I was quieter and smaller than the rest of the boys. Therefore a warped upbringing and un-nurtured social skills. And the rest is history.

>Having lack of self awareness
>Being locked in a room because your mum had paranoid schizophrenia
>being told the world is out to get you and you should fear everything

You know, normal upbringing.

i spent most of my teenage years inside addicted to various retarded video games and it definitely fucked me up

Why originally kxevyextwfjikkk

I am SJW extraordinare....i will be purging your Jow Forums now

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Pretty much my situation rn

People being mean to me in primary school and middle school, hell the first day of primary school i got kicked by some kids thats my first experience there

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> be me
> raised atheist and liberal
> I had a chronic fear of social life
> decide to never do it again
Fast forward to now
> be me
> lonely little hermit. Became fascist
> friends leave
"muh 6 million"
> devoted myself to politics
> lost all friends and most family
> social skills are no better
> I did get better at speaking, though
> slowly learning how to start politics
Wish me luck, boys. I'm headed for the world stage

The human brain has been proven to be pliable pretty much all the time, all the way to old age. It's just that at the age of brain development, you absorb things much more easily. Quit making excuses and at least make ONE baby step. ONE little goal today.

They're actually pretty decent. I'm just not that fond of people in general.

No. I refuse. I can't do it and I won't do it. I refuse to humiliate myself. Some people will never be able to socialize and I'm one of them. At this point it's about making peace with it.

But windows don't have legs or tyres?

People taking advantage of me, misrepresenting everything I say once I become inconvenient to them and them convincing everyone else to hate me. I've always just been honest, while also trying to be tactful, but I guess that's not enough. People are supposed to play all these social games and deal with drama through that, not showing their true emotions, but, I don't really know. It's too exhausting, I can't do that, and now I'm paranoid and my need for comfort greatly outweighs my need for friendship, at the moment.

Going on Jow Forums does not make you a master politician; just a master idiot. Don't turn out like my brother. Jesus, all that wasted potential.

He has gone to Jow Forums every day, hours a day, for years. He's 25, has very little friends, has had no girlfriend EVER, and wastes his time away online. He's gotten better with his depression. He's a weird conspiracy theorist now, and unironically racist. The memes he has spouted have now become his ideology. He has autism, to top it all of. On the plus side, he has a decent job. But that's... pretty much it.

It breaks my heart to have seen him change so much, for the worse. Don't become him, please.

nice larping buddy, the only way you're heading for any sort of stage is if you take estradiol and become the girl you truly are

>I was a fat kid in elementary and middle school
>kids picked on me for it relentlessly, and even my parents always criticized my fatness
>Developed permanent feeling of shame and embarrassment for myself
>Go on crash diet summer before high school, lost 40 pounds by the time high school started
>Finally skinny, but now hs kids make fun of my awkwardness instead
>Hopeless with girls, and my only friends are fellow geeks, dorks, and social outcasts

Now I'm a 21 year old college dropout and still socially off. And ironically I got fat again a year ago because I'm a stress eater

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>has had no girlfriend EVER

That really does sound like Jow Forums, alright. lol

there's nothing wrong with being mildly racist. An "around blacks don't relax" attitude is just common sense to anyone who interacts with other races for long periods of time.

>born with social anxiety (both my parents have it)
Wait, social anxiety is genetical? Fuck I didn't know that.

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Of course it isn't. It's not even real.

You have no idea what you're talking about. He is racist. He used to joke around with fucking memes all the time, and now he is full-on racist. Oh yeah, and he's becoming an alcoholic, and goes on racist rants when that happens, apparently. Fuck off with your shit, user.

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Then what the fuck is wrong with me desu

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After I finished school I felt anxious being outside, I began hating being around people and forgot how to interact in public. I started looking past people when talking to them to make it hurt less.
I'm 25 now and I can't even look my parents in the eye anymore

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see that's what i thought, that a little racism never hurt anyone
then i actually interacted with the people i hated
once i actually talked to them it seemed like my hate was pretty arbitrary

How deranged does someone have to be to take anything posted on Jow Forums seriously?

Nice digits but no

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what percentage of Jow Forums users don't agree with the Jow Forums mentality?
once you're there long enough and it becomes the norm, it all gets serious

My brother died and i blamed the jews.

That would make a great opening line for a song.

It would be if it wasn't true.

some people just learn quicker than others, I guess. I attribute my own poor social development to vidya and other nerdy shit that I thought was cool as a kid. As a kid, I didnt give a single flying fuck what anyone thought of my hobbies, but by the time high school rolled around I realized perhaps the nerd route wasn't best socially. and then I was royally fucked because I missed a lot of crucial learning + development of social skills/cues that happens in elementary and middle school

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When I was told I had the face of a serial-killer in elementary school.

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I loved Gavin Free and Karl Pilkington. Tried to emulate them a lot. I also tried to be funny generally. I never tried to look good or dress right because that would give up the dream of being this goof who everyone loves to have around. I spent more time having imaginary conversations with people I knew then actually talking to them.

They were complementing you, dummy

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How do you get a job when you can't talk to or look at people in the eye for more than a second?

Autism and overthinking

Childhood emotional abuse, my ma was an alcoholic + generally a messed up person and since my dad was traveling for work a shifload when I was young, she'd be the one at home with us. Which would be fine but there was no consistency to her reactions when you talk to her.

Like I would ask for homework help one day and she'd be cool to give it to me and help me out, but the next day if I'd ask she'd flip shits and start screaming and crying like i was asking her to kill her dog.

Multiply this inconsistency and wildly inappropriate reactions to small requests by EVERY INTERACTION WITH HER TO THIS VERY DAY and it made me afraid to talk to other people.because I assume everyone acts that way, and one small fuckup or request or faux pas and they're.going to start yelling and screaming.

Fucked up but I'm sort of ok now.

I'm really sorry to hear about your brother, user.
Post-irony can be a dangerous thing.
It is important not to use too much time on these websites, even ironically, because if you stare into the abyss for long enough, the abyss stares into you.
I guess what i am trying to say is that if you spend too much time ironically shitposting on Jow Forums you might slowly become an un-ironic nazi given enough time

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They were pretty normal- that is to say just as bad as any other kid's until high school. Maybe I was a bit in the shy side. I didn't start noticing how shit I was until the end of middle school. I had an unhealthy overreaction with limited perspective, and started focusing on how shit I was. After that, my social skills began to degrade with non use and isolation. I made no new friends in high school, rapidly lost touch with them in college. Now I'm 25 and have been friendless for a long time.

I was relatively normal until part way through middle school. Was kind of a nerd but I still had friends and shit. Then my parents divorced, and I just started playing vidya all the time to cope. Then I found Jow Forums and gradually lived more and more online and less irl until I couldn't relate to people normally.

Always left out lead to me giving up on interacting with people.

>never having any opportunity to develop them
>doesn't matter if boy or girl
>can't do that if nobody wants to talk to you

>mother was a helicopter parent and emotionally unstable/narcissistic
>extremely critical, never really knew how she would react to anything, guilt and shame was her main MO
>add in a heavy dose of christianity on top of it, so constant threats of going to hell, ect. which kids believe.
>would'nt let me hang out with my friends in middle school or highschool because they were "bad influences" (actually just normal kids), so friends all drifted away
>forced me into hobbies I hated like piano, would not let me play sports I actually was decent at (hockey) because "they couldn't afford it"
>the "couldn't afford it" lie was bullshit, dad made ~150k/year, mom just didn't want to put in the effort of driving me to practice or games

>dad pretty much openly resented me and resented having a family
>basically Frank off "F is for Family," only with a successful career
>was never really around to teach me shit or do anything, learned how to shave, change a tire, ect off youtube

also
>bullied at school
>made to feel worthless at home
>parents berate me even today for having no confidence/gf/career
>they wonder why I rarely call them or visit now

My social skills are fucked because I never really learned healthy social skills from family or my peers. Video games was the only real escapism I had. My social skills got a lot better after I lived with roomates for a couple years, forced "normal" interaction helped but I'm still kinda fucked up. People talk about privilege - family privilege is probably the most important in life. Grow up with shitty parents and you are pretty much fucked from the beginning.

>was 23
>thought I was fulfilling my dreams
>endured 6 months of torture before realizing I was duped
>now I can't trust anyone, and it shows

I got bullied a lot and had very little friends in real life so when I was about 12 I pretty much retreated into my computer and MMOs for about a decade. My best connections and friends and shit have been online. Oddly enough when I'm on discord or Skype or whatever I'm charismatic, funny, charming and I sound cool as far as I know. But irl I'm a stuttering anxious mess with an IQ that's lowered but like 30 points during irl interactions.

They were never not-bad to begin with

>shyness
>overthinking
>isolation

>I spent more time having imaginary conversations with people I knew then actually talking to them.
This.
I continue doing to this day.
Have anyone managed to stop that shit.

>went to a private elementary school with super-competitive parents
>no one ever went to other people's houses to play, including me, thus stunting social development
>switch schools, almost everyone there is of a particular demographic so I don't fit in except with other outcasts
>lash out because I don't fit in, get ostracised further
>start to mellow out and get somewhat accepted
>switch schools again, everyone there is kind and welcoming even to a bitter asshole like me
>finish mellowing out, but never really lose that edge and stiffness

I could have turned out a hell of a lot worse. I'm not normal, but I haven't exactly failed.

unironically Jow Forums and vidya
If I could go back to when I was 10, I would slap myself until I agreed never to go to michaels house and play gta vice city for the first time

No, I now just whisper to myself in public
fuck it desu

>I spent more time having imaginary conversations with people I knew then actually talking to them.
are you me user ?

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So what would you call these kinds of people? I'm curious.

Was always an introvert. Even though I had friends I always felt distant to most of them. Then during puberty I became more and more withdrawn. Around 16 I changed school and basically lost all contact with former friends. Although the people there were pretty great actually I was never able to make any real friends. After that to uni, again, had some people I hang out with but that was when I fell into some real deep depression. I'm talking ~2 years of literally not leaving my apartment for weeks, only for groceries. ignoring the phone and door. needless to say, I failed my classes. After that I got better a little, went back to uni, finished different degree and now doing my master. While I get along with the people I work with I am unable to make smalltalk 99% of the time outside of stuff that is directly related to uni or work. Ok rambling over.

>be depressed in teen age
>can't properly communicate with anyone
>not like anyone wants to communicate with a depressed faggot anyway
>got used to it
>22yo khhv no friends

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This is the way it is. I accept it, and almost masochistically like it. I sometimes wish to have friends and socialize, but whenever I'm in a situation like that I only want to get out and go home, just to think about being there again. Like wanting a girlfriend. It's probably from wanting to be normal, and being normal and successful is having a good job and friends etc. But we're simply different, us robots. We don't belong.
Everybody is out for themselves, no matter how they treat others. It's to make themselves happy, or advance themselves socially or further their career/goals. Fuck them, you're on your own. Treat others the way they treat you.

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I was an advanced kid and always enjoyed impressing adults which led to me relating to adults better and always trying to ger attention from teachers and my Mom's friends which led to me being somewhat of an outcast amongst my peers.
Now after years of drug use and internet use I'm just very abnormal and can't seem to connect with people very well
I'm also severely paranoid with a dash of constant shittalk hearing (real or imagined) and it makes it difficult to form relationships because I always think people are being nice to my face and mean behind my back. Can't stand fakeness.

>be me
>be extremely autistic kid who does/says embarrassing things really often
>grow up and start to get strong cringe feelings remembering past shit and overthinking stuff
>start avoiding social interaction at all costs so that i won't ever embarrass myself again
God i miss the times where i was a kid. How i want to just not give a shit again.

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