How do I stop thinking about suicide? I get the thoughts multiple times a day and want them out of my head...

How do I stop thinking about suicide? I get the thoughts multiple times a day and want them out of my head. There are ideas and plans and I don't even notice them happening until they are nearly complete. I don't really want to die, but I don't want to live either.

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Have you tried doing a cartwheel, user?

Go to a therapist and see a psychiatrist, my dude. You're most likely dealing with passive suicidal ideation, which I have a lot too. You don't want to die but you don't know to escape your suffering and feel trapped, I feel ya bro.

Not him but I have the same thing and I don't really feel like dealing with more psychiatric holds.

how bad is a mental hospital? is it hell

The trick is you don't say you have a plan, though. Say you feel suicidal all you want but once you say you have a plan they get all freaked out, ect. Have you tried looking up coping skills for when you're depressed/suicidal/ect?

Hospitalized 3 times, 2 of which was when I was a teenager. When I was a teenager, I was surrounded by edgy weird kids like me, and it was fucking great. Finally some people I can relate to. Edgy loners who feel like killing themselves. Sometimes there was a cholo or nigger in there for throwing a fit at home, but they left in 3 days. Second time I was in a ward I was there for 13 fucking days with this same group of kids in a coed ward and it was probably the best time I've ever had. Really good food (better than home since my mom can't cook shit) and it was just chilling out watching TV and talking to people about all the edgy shit we thought about. When I finally got out i was so fucking pissed I wish I could have done it forever. As an adult, completely different story. Surrounded by people far fucking older than me, with a completely different set of problems, in a much more sterilized and monitored enviroment. It wasn't coed, and the nurses were all big meathead men and really butch women. It was so depressing. All I did was jerk off in the shower and talk to my psychiatrist. I don't plan on going back.
Coping skills don't work unless you aren't suffering in the first place. What i need is someone to talk to and a fucking hug.

Meh when I went it smelled like piss and burning hash browns. The food is REALLY good though so the eating disorders will eat.

Actually no I haven't. I don't usually feel motivated to do ridiculous things
I already go to a therapist and it doesn't work. All that happens is that I get told it'll all be better if I get a job, a girlfriend, basically replace my personal identity with something people will like, etc. I haven't told them about suicidal stuff because I don't want to be put on watch or in an institution or something. This user kinda knows what's up. I went to the ER a month or so ago for mental health issues and I could either lie my way out or be institutionalized. Since then I've continued to lie about how I feel and the ideas I have so that my family will leave me alone about it.
As I said above, no one knows that I'm suicidal or have any sort of plan. I used to try to cope with it a couple years ago before it got too bad, but it never worked. I'm kinda just starting to accept that these shitty feels are a constant in my life

id you ever try to an hero? if so, how?

Been hospitalized once and also put in a residential for crazies before. Depends on the ward and the people in it. Be careful because there is always some fucking weirdo, though.
Going to talk with others is a coping skill, dude. I somewhat agree that not all of them can work for people who are severely depressed/ect but I've found that sometimes it can help depending on the circumstance.

Yes, partial suspension on my bedpost. My mom walked in and I ripped the rope off my neck and stood up and begged for her not to call the cops since that was her knee jerk reaction. I had bruises all over my neck and my face was purple. it was completely circumstantial, I might as well be dead right now, which is why I think my death is impossible.

Your therapist should be helping you try to find resources for a new job, shouldn't be forcing the idea a girlfriend is necessary, and should just be encouraging you to reach out to others, not replacing your identity. I'm also the user who said I was put in a residential and hospital b4 btw, not user who was hospitalized 3 times though. Are you on any medications?
>inb4 big pharma bullshit

howd they react? also if she didnt come do you think you wouldve died?

is it stupid to be afraid of full hanging because of how it would hurt but not be nervous about partial hanging? it seems a lot better than dangling.

I'm not on any meds because I don't trust them. I trust the pharmacist and the drug itself but I don't trust my family and the other people around me not to tamper with them. I do agree that he needs to be helping me more, but all counselors only get their patients so far and then keep them in a semi-bad spot so they return every week and they don't need to constantly bring in new patients

I chose partial hanging because of just that, if I had any last regrets all I had to do was just stand up and I would be good to go, but I didn't and I just sat there choking. I'm sort of glad my mom came - but like I said - it was just so random I'm having a hard time believing we can actually die or something. It's a strange concept. We just transport to a universe where we're alive.

ive messed with it and my eye sight went black then all of a sudden i was falling and made an elbow hole in the wall. that way seems much easier to do then kick a stool away, even if i wanted to die i think id be too nervous. personally.

Why do you think your family is going to tamper with them? And if that's the case, you definitely need a new therapist. What exactly is happening in your life right now that is making you feel so sad?

Did your mother get mad or treat you bad afterwards, did she act like it didn't happen?

She was incredibly angry with me, and hit me and yelled at me afterwards before the cops came. She brings it up all the time around family to just spite me and make fun of me since i'm an easy target.

That's extremely abusive of her. I'd get away from her if I were you.

I do agree that I need a new therapist, but I don't want one. None of them have worked up until this point so why pay another one to do the exact same thing? I dont trust my family. They purposefully send me into panic attacks and make me go out with them so they can publically shame and harass me in hopes of getting me to change and feel better. As for the things making me sad, I just don't know. I don't feel really anything anymore. I haven't felt happy in a while, and I haven't been able to feel sad. All I feel is emptiness and a little bit of regret
I'm sorry user. Mean moms are the worst. they should be helping us instead of ridiculing us in public for things we did in the past

I fucking hate my mother to the core of her existence. She is a constant reminder of my failures.

I'm really sorry to hear that's how your family is treating you. Sounds really difficult and that it must hurt a lot. I know that with therapists it's sort of a guessing game, unfortunately. You have to keep trying until one fits.