Fucking hell. I have no one to talk to about this and it's alot, please someone respond. So when I was about 6 and my brother was 12 we still shared a room together and we would play games and stuff. So we played truth or dare one night and he dared me to suck his dick, I had no clue as to what I was doing at the time or why he wanted me to do this. He would make me do this often and touch my vagina and stuff but when we separated rooms it stopped. Years later I understood what he did to me but never said anything about it, idk why. I've been extremely sexually fucked up and extreme self image issues despite doctors advising me to gain weight. Well 2 days ago he killed himself out of nowhere after finding out he was going to have to stay at college another year for classes. I don't feel bad that he's dead; he was overall a bad person and we never had much connection but for some reason suicide has seemed more appealing than ever before. Cancer got my dad a year ago or so and it really fucked up my mom, she's even worse after this. I want with all my being to die but I need to be there for my mom and idk how my death would affect her. I've never had close friends or a boyfriend and I don't know who to talk to. Someone please modify my death
Kill me
Sorry about the numorous errors, can't think. Also meant justify at the end
If you're having second thoughts then that means you shouldn't do it. Be there for your mom because if you're gone she won't be able to live with it. Don't add to the suffering
Do it roastie
Gtfo my board
I'll give you a dollar if you DONT kill yourself
>I don't know who to talk to
Probably a therapist!
>If you're having second thoughts then that means you shouldn't do it.
You'll never get anywhere in life with that attitude, champ.
>Someone please modify my death
no
serious question, why do you go on r9k OP?
Only people with same life outlook and experience with loneliness as me
A therapist would legit help you. I strongly recommend you see one. It will help you overcome the trauma. Your mother could probably benefit from one too.
I'm poor and uninsured
Life and death is far different from normal life risks you absolute aspie
Most states have free/sliding scale therapists.
therapists are a meme, you have 2 options
live it for the rest of your life
or
kill yourself
I don't really relate to you on getting molested or anything but I also have no one to talk to since most of my online friends overdosed or committed suicide.
Life is a series of high points and low points. You're at a low point, but if you talk through your feelings, you can start putting it beside you and get to another good place.
the biggest positive impact that you can try to make on your life is to find real irl friends. its something that you will have to be both brave and patient about. if its not something that you can do considering the current circumstances of your life, you will have to wait and work to change your circumstances.
>idk how my death would affect her
Devastatingly, one can only imagine. It sounds like your mom is the only person you can rely on at this point. Talk to her. It will be hard, on both of you, but not nearly as hard as another suicide. As others have said, if you can find any kind of accessible therapy or counseling, by all means pursue it. You're in a mental health crisis and you desperately need the help.
>I don't feel bad that he's dead;
why do women always make it about themselves? he was a kid too! at 12 he didn't know shit and clearly it wasn't anything problematic on his part since he didn't continue to "assault" you after rooms were separated. The fact that you hold it against him is very disturbing and you should talk about it with doctors. Also suicide is contagious because once you see someone do it with ease you realize that you too can do it with ease
>and touch my vagina
stopped reading there
You could post your discord on here and a number of people would be more than glad to talk to a girl
You could also talk to a suicide hotline as well
If you keep waiting the suicide tendencies do eventually fade out at least for me it did
before we continue, lets see your benis and some proof you're fembot
>I don't feel bad that he's dead; he was overall a bad person
He did literally nothing wrong
Not op but I'm presuming he did bad stuff
Got a boner from your story. Please post nudes (with timestamp obviously) before you off yourself. At least you will be making one person on this earth happy, and that will give your life the meaning you need to carry on another day. Sharpie in the pooper would be nice
if you dont have any kids go ahead and kill yourself, it's your right if you feel so inclined
Please go see a therapist or find somebody to talk to, op. Church groups often offer free counseling if you can't pay. I'm not even Christian and I saw a counselor for a few months through a church.