Almost laid stories

Alright robots, give me your best stories of you almost getting laid, extra points if cucked

Attached: Screenshot_20180324-020721.png (1024x600, 366K)

almost lost my virginity when i was like 19 toa qt korean girl overseas but i got so nervous i drank more than i should have and passed out before i could do it. story kinda long not too exciting really

I was at a party and both of us were drunk and she took a liking to me and dragged me to a room and was all horny. But since I wanted to lose my virginity to a beautiful girl after a candlelight dinner I sperged out of it.

I went to one normie party got drunk and blacked out there was this gay black guy there named jackson and I was told he went into the room I blacked out in and wqs trying to take off my pants, they found him and kicked him out after beating him so I was almost raped thats close to sex right?

Nigs are nigs

>be me 21 on st patties with 3 girls
>at house after day drinking
>girl 1 and 2 leave, 3 asks me to stay
>very platonic relationship with 3
>"hay user let's cuddle"
>Okay.wut
>she's going on about the guy she just broke up with and how she thinks I should sleep with girl #1
>spooning. feels good man. slowly feeling this girl up as she talks, tracing her thong
>I'm not sure what to do because I want to fuck her suddenly but also cant tell if she would get weird
>she's talking about sex with her ex, getting eaten out come up
>I ask her "how do you like it, then"
>whatdidusayanon?
>heart racing like 100bpm
>"uh i need some water"
>literally run away to calm down

when i jumped back in bed I realized I had a chance and blew it

story #2

>be me 17 and virgin
>hanging with this cool chick for a week or 2, make out a lot
>finally one saturday I'm in bed with her and I'm ready to try fingering
>amazing. totally hot.
>start talking off her underwear and she stops me
>"are you a virgin, user?"
>"yeah"
>"oh we cant have sex you need to wait for someone you're in love with"

rip

go to party, two ex friends are there who are super popular. i ask this girl if she wants to take shots with me. we take a shot and she invites me upstairs. there's two girls in the bedroom and one of them is out the door, i tell her to stay. soon we three merry we are making out in the bed. this buttslut masculine woman opens the door and is holding a condom i go up to get it, i guess she(it) wanted in because she wouldn't give it to me. the girls get up and leave when the femascul rascal runs away
another time i'm dancing with a girl at a birthday party. she asks me if i want to be alone. i say we should go to my car. making out with her, take her tits out. she bends over but my dick is raw and ragged from jacking off in the wisconsin winter wind so i flip her over & eat her out

if i remember correctly i was going to try to assfuck #2 with my raggedy dick but she wants to go in at that point

Dated a robot for a while, he was nice and we paired up well. He had so many anxieties and insecurities over sex though it just never happened. Vicious cycle of me trying to help and him taking it badly and saying I was pressuring him. The amount of times I tried to coax him into bed would probably make you guys scream. He just couldn't get past his issues and I never really found out what the issue was because he was so cagey and kept putting off intimacy. The relationship frayed and he started ghosting me and then we finally broke up.

I don't think I'm trying a robot again.

That wasn't her being considerate, that was her vagina drying up at mach speeds.
Never, ever admit that in any circumstamce. Its something that will follow you around.

Not me and not really `almost', but here i go anyways

>me and another guy both like this girl
>all part of the same group, we all planned on renting this place for a weekend around christmas
>he lived close to her and offered to drive them, so she visitied him the day before the planned date
>guy lives with his mom, who knows what he told his mom but she bought them condoms
>they talk, he starts drinking cheap wine
>drinks more
>even more
>passes out on his chair, vomits all over himself
>girl gets mother, she cleans him up and drags him to bed
>"he does this quite regularly, dont worry he can still drive"
>dont know how but they both survive the drive
>he gets increasingly mad that girl interacts with me in any capacity
>spends the last 1 1/2 days moping in bed, sending her passive-aggressive IMs about how shes ignoring him
>makes everyone uncomfortable with his behaviour
>meanwhile we cuddle downstairs and bond
>I kissed her
>last day, everyone says their goodbyes
>he just looks at me with pure hate in his eyes and drives off with girl, he promised to take her home
>we text all day, she tells me she feels unsafe with him
>she visits me a month later, smash the first night
>we nickname him captain planet after the johnny walker meme
>he bitches for a while and cuts contact with absolutely everyone

Its actually sad, we used to be good friends before.

A lot of people really believe it though. It can affect pretty much anyone, even grills (though they can meet fetishists).

I advise everyone lie.

Damn you have nice friends. Many people would probably have tried to videotape it.

nobody is going to read that you twat

It hurts me eyes.

nobody is going to read this either, twat

you're not unique or special, greentext your bullshit story if you want others to look at it.

>go to the Washington DC for a conference
>get really nice hotel with a quaint bar (think like the shining)
>treating my damn self having a good time chatting up people at the bar
>drinking laphroaig
>qt sits next to me
>tell her she smells nice
>keeps asking me if I am gay
>keep saying no
>we bar hop together
>tell her I have bottle of wine if she wants to come back to my room
>lay in bed for over an hour before she says she is tired
>asks me why I didnt make a move
>say I didnt want to be rapey because of all of this metoo stuff
>says she thinks im gay and I could have slept with her but now she is tired
>ask for a kiss
>she lets me kiss her on the cheek
>wake up the next morning to the end of la la land during the what if scene
>cry

Attached: 0A6D7F48-42D9-4F1F-898C-78539B468329.png (1334x750, 1.28M)

>can't read a post unless it's formatted in a way you like
what kind of new autism is this?

>new
You wot m8. Have you visited this site before?

Yeah, I've been here since 2006 and somehow I still manage to be able to read posts even if they don't include le ebin meme arrows. Have you really spent so long reading nothing but greentext posts that you're incapable of comprehending normal text? Do you rage when you try to read a book and realize that there's no greentext anywhere in it?

>girl i'm orbiting irl invites me to her roommate's party
>nervous cause i don't know anyone, but decide to go
>bring her a bottle of wine, and some beer for me
>she tells me she's hammered, and i don't believe her, but i do start noticing she is being more touchy-feely than usual
>keep in mind, this girl is my friend's ex, but the supposedly hate each other (my friend know his ex and I talk, not that I wanna fuck her brains out)
>as a joke, tell her "hey let's go see what he's up to" (he's in town for the weekend at some party)
>she agrees, to my surprise, and she grabs the bottle of wine i bought her, and tells me to drive her SUV
>we're both texting my friend, we get the party's location, like 20 mins away from where we are
>get there, the fucking lights are out, some girls and a guy open the door, tells us that our friend passed out
>girl gets super pissed, starts crying and leaves him like a 15 minute voice note telling him to fuck off and never contact her again
>she drives back home, like a reckless drunken idiot, and tells me that we should go to a bar before getting back to her place
>we start doing a bunch of shots at the bar, she pays the tab despite my telling her to split it with me
>tells me, "hey user, wanna drink that wine bottle with me in my bed? we can watch netflix and you can stay over"
>oh shit nigga
>get to her apartment, we hear her roommate fucking, she yells "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE GETTING DICK TONIGHT!"
>get to her room, she opens the bottle, we drink a bit, she gets on top of me and starts kissing me
>takes off her see-through blouse and tight, tight skirt (she's a shortstack), stands in front of me in nothing but lingerie
>hardest i've ever been in my fucking life, we start making out some more
>she pushes me aside suddenly and runs to her bathroom
>starts throwing up, ask her if she wants me to hold her hair, tells me to shut up and let her throw up
>gets out, looking like shit, tells me "sorry user, you gotta go

I was actually fucking the other girl. yo girl came in and I fucked her raw in the ass & puss

Last bit of the story
>say some beta shit like, "oh well, maybe next time!" as she shuts the door on my face
>mfw that same fucking night she texted some faggot creep like 16 years older (we were 23, so the guy was 39) and they begin dating and fucking like rabbits
>she was thicc as fuck when we almost fucked, but a little pudgy around her ass and her arms specially
>this old fuck is a gym instructor, gets her in the best shape of her life, cunt looks fucking delicious right now
>had a falling out with her because I decided to stop being her beta bitch and pursued her aggressively since she broke up with her ex (the old fag)
>never have I wanted to hatefuck someone so much in my fucking life before
If I ever do get around to doing her, I'm choking the bitch.

8/8 with the b8

>at college party
>very drunk
>two sorority girls invite me over to their house to stay the night
>vaguely remember one of them pulling me along by the hand across the street
>fall asleep on couch
>sneak out after waking up in the morning

idk I can't remember if I were getting close to getting laid or if they were just being nice, probably the latter