Any femanons willing to share some spaghetti stories?

Any femanons willing to share some spaghetti stories?
I don't believe sperging out it just for guys.

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>be femanon, am completely socially retarded
>remember that in order to get a guy I only need to sit somewhere alone for 5 minutes
>do so
>flocks of men buy me drinks and want to have sex with me, all using their honed skills to woe me
>have no skills or personality myself, choose the best man
>have my fifth sex this morning

Femoids can't have spaghetti stories. Any spergy behaviour will be dismissed as "quirkyness".

>be me, in maths class
>just cant work out a vector problem
>ask boy next to me for help
>he tries to explain his method but his handwriting is messy and im just confused
>get so frustrated because it only works with one method
>"i dont WANT to do it that way!" basically bang fists on table having a little tantrum
>he mutters "jesus christ" and i almost start crying

what a slutty whore

>>ask boy next to me for help

he thinks "OMG I'll marry her ASAP"

he told me the other day that he just doesnt like not talking, silence bothers him, so its not a rare occurrence for us to talk, but im definitely not special

>D&D
>around some other girl
>she's kinda cute and I wouldn't say "no" but I also wouldn't say I'm especially attracted to her
>she's drinking
>I'm not because previously I was the only one drinking
>she's taking very strong drinks
>I handle my alcohol well and am usually the one having to help my friends get home
>excited to know a girl who might be able to keep up with me
>autistically say "we should drink some time!"
>don't even hear her response

>end of the session
>everyone's hanging around chatting but it's getting late
>it's more like polite conversation than actual interest in staying
>decide to take the lead
>know she walks home in generally the same direction as me
>say "lets go out"
>as in like, let's leave, lets go
Why the fuck did I say "lets go out"? I just don't know. She didn't seem to notice but I need to stop doing this shit. I'm not even that interested in her

>have my fifth sex this morning
>have my fifth sex
Kek you're barely even LARPing as human, let alone female

Instead of crying, you should have smiled and said: "OMG, are you Roman Catholic as well?!"

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God women just have it so good dont they? This is why I hate your gender

You're aware that's a LARP right? It's a guy mocking women

i deliberately wrote it over the top so people would recognize irony

You can't expect autists to notice sarcasm in even spoken speech let alone written

>Kek you're barely even LARPing as human, let alone female
Are you retarded mate?

I will slap your shit m8

LMAO this is one of those Reddit guys

I was working at a bottleshop and this 10/10 guy who looked legit like tom hardy came out of nowhere and asked for wine suggestions - i literally replied in tongues, laughed hysterically and ran away to the backroom. My boss saw the whole thing... Actually still keeps me awake some nights I cant believe how socially retarded I am

This is a gross one.
>Deside to walk to the grocery store to surprise my bf with dinner
>It very hot so I decided to wear booty shorts
>bring grocery bags and start my trek
>shorts start riding up my ass and I have to keep pulling them down
> can feel sweat running down my leg. "Some work out"
>Get to store
>Wipe sweat off my legs, Oh shit that's not sweat it's blood.
>I have lines of blood coming down my legs!!!! I Forgot to put in a tampon.
>I don't know where the toliet is
>Fuck!!!
>right next to organic tea display
>drop a red one right in front of me
>it doesn't break
>Someone comes down the isle
> I turn the other way to the produce
>try to walk towards the salsa with my thighs close together
>pick up salsa and proceed to fall forward
>I fall harder then expected and my noise start to bleed
>butt cheeks are fully exposed when I'm on the ground.
>salsa container didn't break
>man comes up to me
>"Are you okay mam?"
>tears start to wheil up, "where is the bath room?"
>"right over there under that sign."
>

>be me
>friendly, but standoffish femanon
>cute male coworker always say hi when he sees me
>say hi back
>usually the highlight of my day
>coworker takes loa
>month later he returns
>see him unexpectingly
>says hi beautiful, long time no see
>drop everything I'm holding because surprised
>mutter hi and quickly pick up stuff
>leave as soon as I'm done

Not super spaghetti, but it just happened yesterday, so it's still fresh in my mind.

cute

oreganopaprika

You are a dude. No female would write like this

Not being able to hold things in your hands is pretty retarded but that story was pretty sweet and not really that awkward.

YES THATS THE POINT, HE EVEN FUCKING ADMITS HE WAS EXAGGERATING FOR COMEDIC EFFECT

>writing poetry in the middle of class
>some guys steal it and start reading it out loud
>everybody laughs at me

>trying to do homework in homeroom
>chadlets are laughing in corner, start pointing at me
>one runs up behind me and snaps my bra strap, runs back
>they all laugh and make puking noises

>one time sang "Don't Worry Be Happy" in a Jamaican accent at karaoke in an attempt to impress a group of older girls

>Get my first bf in high school
>It's just a nice relationship where we hold hands and maybe have a kiss
>We get to go to each other's house sometimes
>I should have noticed but mom takes a strong liking to him and is even flirty
>The second time he comes over we watch movies in my room together snuggling
>I fell asleep and wake up alone sometime later
>Confused, get up and wander around to look for bf
>Hear noises from mom's room and think it's just her
>Walk in expecting to ask her where bf is but find the two of them having sex in her bed
>Shocked and in disbelief, I kind of just freeze there for a short time just staring as my heart breaks
Still can't believe I wasn't noticed for as long as I was there but they were into it and the position made it that way.
>When they start talking dirty that's too much and I back out quietly
>Kind of just collapse outside in anguish and start crying as quiet as I can, stuck listening to the sex the rest of the time

It felt awkward to me and left me pretty embarrassed. I have a couple days off so, I'm just going to stop thinking about it and pretend it never happened when I go back.

>be 22
>at work
>boss flirts with me and asks me what im planning for the weekend
>he starts talking about how the company is renting a cabin for some party the week after
>says hes the only with keys this weekend
>boss is kind of a qt3.14
>say yes
>we go to the cabin and he blocks the door on the way in and says
>kill every normie you see because the news lately have been very entertaining for my pathetic sex filled life
>proceed to fuck for 2 days straight

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>Jamaican accent
>karaoke

I can't stop laughing

Maybe you shouldn't have been such a prude and put out, user.
It's your fault, entirely.

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