Finally feel like you're moving forward with your life

I just... I think I'm close to being done, lads. I'm not feeling it anymore, I'm not feeling life. I was always a pretty depressed and miserable guy, then I had a gf for a year, and while she was a at times a cunt, possibly/probably a cheat and a materialistic whore, I somehow loved her, and I somehow believe she loved me too, at least at times.

Being with her at times made me miserable and caused me stress, but Jesus I was also happier than I've ever been in my life with her, when things were good. I've not been happy since we split up, and what's worse is now we're not talking at all. I'm just not feeling it, lads, don't ever fall for the woman meme, because it's not better to have loved and lost than to have loved at all, it's truly not.

The pain of losing someone, of losing that. It's an emptiness and I can't do it. I can't go back and I can't go forward.

I'm going through something similar right now. It's like I've lost my purpose in life. I feel empty, nothing feels good.
I've been having panic attacks all week and last night I experienced genuine terror at how utterly alone I am. If things don't get better I don't know how much longer I can take it.

It's good just to talk about these things, bro. People will call you a drama queen and so forth... but fucking Christ if they even knew how serious we were, how close we've came at times to doing stuff. Just talk, bro, and hopefully don't do it. I hope I don't, but then again I hope I don't spend 50 more years here fucking miserable.

I lost everything. My job, my girlfriend, it all just fell apart in a fucking flash, out of nowhere. We were planning on moving in together, we had holidays booked, I was finally turning around in my job and about to put everything I had into it.

The job went and then eventually she went, ironically just as I got a new job. And now I'm just lost.

I'm fucking sad. And I'm just out of energy, nothing I used to enjoy brings me any comfort and so many things just remind me of what I lost.

>just realized I haven't talked to a non family member female in over 4 years
>try to do some exercise to cheer myself up
>feel so horrible, sore and worn out by the end of the bike ride I'm in pain
>floods are destroying thousands of people's homes around me and cutting off roads now
>more depressed than I've been in years

I feel like trash right now desu

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Huh, my situations eerily similar to yours. I was supposed to start a new job the day after she broke up with me and just couldn't go through with it.
The worst part is, I think the relationship was going well, but I made decisions that got in the way. And I can't help but think things would be different if I had just made better decisions.
I actually have been talking to her, but it's pretty clear she won't try again, even if I reverse my choices. I don't know if that helps, but at least I'll stop trying.

if you off yourself blame the incels and mail your suicide letter to news networks

make the fire rise

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Yeah, I'll try and do something to help you lads out. You've brought me some genuine joy and comfort in these, presumably, closing stages of my life.

Did a bit of studying, nothing compared to what I'm planning to cram tommorow.

So I was wondering, what if my grandpa never went to Europe? I'd still live in some third world country, but at least I'd have someplace to belong. I don't know how that feels, I've been an outsider all my life even in my own "community". I'd be a lot less privileged, but I might have been happy instead of depressed.

I made some decisions and said some things that in large part contributed to the end to. But the relationship wasn't working, I wasn't happy with her or how she was, as much as I fucking loved her, man, and she just would not hear criticism or let me express my problems to her.

She was always so quick to threaten to break up, whenever I started questioning things or calling her out on her bullshit. She claimed to love me as much as I loved her, but she just didn't have a clue, she didn't even know how to love.

I always sit and think what I could have done to make things right, or stop things from going the way they did, but it's on them, dude. If they cared enough, they would still be with you, I would still be with her, she said some awful things to me in our time together, treated me terrible at times too, and I always forgave her.

They just don't care, and that's the saddest thing. I know she didn't deserve me and the love I had for her, and I know she just doesn't give a fuck, and that the entire year she obviously never really gave a fuck, she was just really good at pretending to.

But despite all that, I still fucking love her, and I still need her. But there's never any going back, never any having her again, even if she turned around and offered us the chance of reuniting tomorrow, I'd always be convinced she was involved with other guys during our time apart, so I could never really love her like I did.

I warned her so many times not to keep testing my love for her the way she did, it was so fucking pure and all consuming, but she just didn't listen.

That's rough man. I don't think she ever cheated on me; I even asked her during the breakup just so I would have a reason to hate her. I know how to deal with anger.

>If they cared enough, they would still be with you
I feel this part though. I told her multiple times what I needed to be happy, and she made no effort to accommodate that. She even told me, "I stopped trying" which fucking stung.

It hurts when you put in so much effort and they don't give any back. i guess that's a bad sign, and maybe I'm stupid for trying to make it work, but I can't help that I loved her.

I don't know if she cheated on me. I found absolutely no evidence, and she always strenuously denied whenever I questioned, but of course she would. Gut feeling man, if she wasn't cheating she at least probably would at some point, she was definitely whoring it up behind my back, I think. Definitely the kind of girl to flirt with guys behind your back, even though she would break up with you for doing the same.

I think. Again, never any proof, nobody ever mentioned anything about her to me. Just a gut feeling.

I don't know, she denied it so earnestly all the time, and whenever I went through her phone, even with recovery software, there was nothing, although I didn't check everything.

I'm a paranoid fucker, so I just don't know.

I know how you feel OP
I just found out im not going to be able to come back to my uni next semester.

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nah, I get that. Right down to looking through her phone; it's a shitty thing to do, but I had to curb the feelings of paranoia.
I had just started to genuinely trust her when it happened honestly.

I don't know if I'll ever find something like this again. All the faults, it was still the best thing I ever had. And circumstances are so different now, I don't know that I'll be able to do it again. I just wish I had done things differently.

I've actually been venting a lot of this to her today; I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that she's still talking to me. Even if we're not together now, she was the only person I felt really comfortable opening up to.
Thanks for letting me vent Jow Forums

same here lads, ex just moved out, I've never felt a pain this intense, and she left because I was too depressed. This is fucking shit

>she left because I was too depressed

Jesus, so common these days, just what the fuck is wrong with them. If my gf was depressed, I would have loved her even more. Not for a second would I have thought of leaving her if she was feeling down.

I honestly hate them, lads, they are creatures and they make me sick, but I want her back...

honestly i was really drepressed like a year and a half ago but i came to the concclussion that i was caring too much about thing i couldnt crontrol and was too dependant on others, do i decided to life for myself and not give a fuck about what people think
it was pretty rough to bring myself together but in the end if you dont care about yourslef what the fuck is the point of living my dude (pic related, this is me at work)

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watch annie hall for that feels

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