Mental health thread #6

I just got out of one a few weeks ago.
And I just got my Jow Forums ban lifted.
I was posting plans to kill people.

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Lots of fighting if there are blacks. Some qt girls will prolly be there. It was like a mini vacation for me with three square meals a day. I just wished they let me have my cellphone during my visit.

this is going to be a real stupid thing to say but

anybody here got forced to a special ed class as a kid because of their illness? i hated it so much but i got transferred to regular classes around either middle or high school. am i really the only one?

im thinking of going to one, will they let me keep anything? i cant function without my stuffed animal, and i need help badly

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They'll prolly let you keep a stuffed animal. Just make sure no one steals it.

My brother did but he got out the next year.

being an ass is my disability. Stop discriminating

I'm sorry that life has painted you into this corner. Rest easy brother.

I have been on generic lexapro for 5 years. Take it for my depression and anxiety. I am down to taking 5mg every other day.
I am weening off but don't know if I am doing it correctly. Been on 5mg the past 2 years. What else should I do to get off them? They never even helped me...

Has anyone here taken happy pills?
My therapist recommended I take them, what is it like?

do the exact opposite of what big pharma tells you to do
>trusting the pharma jew
not even once

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For depression?

Did fuck all for me. They usually say you have to try several before you find the ones that work for you.

>aspergers
>cant go to parties bc the loudness of the music fucking kills me
What do?

I'm 25 and have really severe asthma that I've been hospitalized with a few times in the past couple of years. One time it was so severe that I was seriously in doubt if I was going to live. Ever since that day I've had severe anxiety and stress issues. The anxiety and stress has totally warped me into a different person. I've become bitter and incapable of dealing with normal every day stresses. I've totally ruined all the relationships I've had. My late life relatinoships were all I had because my parents were basically not interested in me being their son or even being alive. I'm now stuck living alone suffering from severe asthma every day. I'm too afraid to sleep because I'm afraid to die. I have nothing and no one to comfort me. I'm so mentally broken that any attempt at forming a relationship with my past friends I totally fuck up because of weird anxiety triggers. I used to be a fairly healthy fairly strong person who had a fairly interesting independent life and I've been reduced to a lonely husk living alone in a one bedroom apartment constantly fighting my fear of death sitting in the dark not sleeping for days on end. I feel so pathetic and hopeless and I have not even a single person to talk to. I'm too afraid to even talk about my problems with anyone online because of the harsh stigma that comes with having an illness like this. I'm a mess of crippling insecurities and absolute loneliness because of this stupid fucking illness I can't control. I don't respond to any medication and my doctor is basically uninterested in finding better treatment for me because my insurance isn't the nice and fancy type.

yea for depression.
I have to meet with a doctor to get my prescription, I know fuck all about these things.
Someone told me that they didn't like them because it made them a "zombie" did you experience anything like that?

I was a zombie beforehand, so I can't say it made me feel like a zombie.

There's literally hundreds of side effects you can experience, most should go away by third week. At least with the ones I had, first Zoloft, then Elicea.

They don't make a massive difference, you won't get a high or anything. They work by slowly building up.

Interesting, so overall would you recommend them?

this liam? its max
its been a while if it is, am a /depressedfag/ now

>major depressive
>boderline
>anorexic
>autsitc
all i want is to be liked

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I wouldn't, but I do other drugs and my drugs are not working on antidepressants.

Also, I'm thinking they're mostly placebo, but that's just my opinion. We know too little about the brain, and I'm not damaging mine with long term use of something we don't have enough research for long term use effects. Well happy to take street drugs though, so feel free not to take my opinion as valid.

I'm back to drinking and burning myself with cigarettes, I've been thinking of going to a therapist but don't want my family to find out because they'll probably mock me. I'm not really sure I have depression, so I'm sorry if this is out of place and insulting to those who have actually been diagnosed, but I really think theres something wrong with me, I already tried killing myself not so long ago. What I'm trying to ask is, do any of you recommend looking for help with this matter?, I just don't know what to do at this point

>depressed
>anxious
>hpd

>I'm sorry if this is out of place and insulting to those who have actually been diagnosed
literally exactly what i told myself when i almost committed suicide myself, don't fuck around with that shit man. don't doubt yourself, you know what you're feeling. the only path to getting better will be going to therapy. plus, your family doesn't have to find out unless you get put in a facility which will probably only happen if you're stupid enough to disclose the self harm or suicidal ideation.

Yes, for burning yourself with cigarettes if nothing else. And trying to kill yourself, that can't be good.

Thanks, I tend to water down my problems most of the time, but I'm gonna try to get some help, I just find it difficult because I don't think it's really that big a deal to feel bad most of the time. Anything I should watch out for when it comes to therapists?, like red flags or something like that

Yeah, I just don't like making big deals out of my problems, but I'm gonna try to look for some help. Sorry I didn't reply to both in one post, I just forgot to do it.

>social anxiety
>depression
>autism
>dyslexia
Why cant I just die

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I do alot of street drugs, which is why im so cautious about taking antidepressants

as long as you don't give any hints that you're a harm to yourself, there shouldn't be any problems. i'm a bit of a hypocrite in advising you though, since i've never seen one, just tried jewmeds. anyways, good luck friendo.

Have you tried getting some therapy?, I'm dealing with similar issues and I think therapy might be worth a try, especially after the recommendations the other anons gave me

I'll try it out but desu it probably won't do shit

How would I know if I had a mental illness?
I have a lot of bad feels, but I'm not sure if it's due to mental illness.
Also, I don't think it's very healthy or helpful to blame all of your problems on a mental illness. If you instead blame your problems on yourself, you can see where you went wrong and have a much better chance of fixing your problems.

Thanks, good luck to you too, maybe you should consider some therapy as well. I hope you can feel better soon

Well I don't think it will do much either, but who knows, maybe something good will come out of it

Any ASPD robots here??

Not the same poster, but I did therapy for 2 years.
It didn't help me at all, my therapist just gave me the same "it gets better :-))))" advice.

It's not a lot, that's my reasoning.

Depression usually gets diagnosed when you don't enjoy anything and don't really have will or energy to do anything. There are more factors, but those are the main ones.

Maybe it was a bad therapist, I just want to find something that makes me feel better, because I'm really going to kill myself in the near future if I don't find anything.
Though I'm really sorry your therapist was such an asshole, no one like that should be allowed to work in that field

I wouldn't say he was an asshole, but it just seemed like he didn't know help me specifically.
If you're seriously thinking about suicide defiantly get a therapist, it can't hurt.

Well, the therapist is an option, but there's prozak in my house, they gave it to my mom because the medical system here is shit and they give it to anyone that has slight problems, she even mocked them for that. She keeps it hidden but I could find it, I'm home alone most of the time. You think that could help?

I don't know i havent taken anything for depression yet. My therapist recommended a doctor to me for that stuff but i havent gone yet.
I would say try a therapist first, and it'll either help or they'll recommend what pills to take.

Why haven't you gone to that doctor, maybe it could help, I really apreciate you trying to help me so why don't we both get the help we need?, maybe that'll make us feel better

I was forced into an entirely special education school where they could perform physical restraints. I've only ever been in a normal school for a single week in my entire life.

I had to move for school, my parents want me to be a normie so they sent me to college.
I probably will see that doctor soon since im failing
why couldnt they just leave me to my weed and comfy job

>vidya is the only thing i enjoy
>no interests in anything else despite what i tried
>im even starting to lose interest in vidya because im bad at them
>im also bad at everything else when it comes to life
>put plenty of hours into them
>still garbage
>hates the thought that im only average at best at multiplayer games but still plays them anyway because theyre my main form of human contact
>barely any single player games catch my interest
>basically when i play vidya now i hate myself

well this is fucking gay

I'm going through something similar, my parents want me to be a normie so they forced me to study law, but if I had a choice, I would have already dropped out and gotten a job, I really want to live on my own, but they just won't let me, and since I've always tried to make them proud I just don't see a way out, really sorry for you user, at least I can undestand more now.

Shit, user, vidya used to be my refugee, but I'm starting to lose interest in it, there's no worse feeling than that, have you tried any other hobbies?, I really got into drawing and writting as an outlet for all the feels

I tried:
Martial Arts
Programming(numerous times)
Instrument
Streaming(slightly)
Reading

Got bored quick.

>Schizoaffecrive
>Aspergers
Requesting a friend. Preferably someone who can call me and distract me by ranting to me when I'm hiding under my desk. And is a NEET in the US so available to talk at all times. Tired of getting ignored or ghosted slowly.
>What I offer
I am also available at all times and can talk for fourteen hours a day.
Plus I heard I have a qt voice. Dunno if that's true.

Do you have any interests at all?, you could try something related to it, even making your own game, as silly as it sounds, you could make something good out of it

>schizophrenia
>over a half decade of meds and therapy
>massive leaps and bounds
>almost functioning
>feel exhausted and slip up
>"you were doing so well and now you're regressing!!!"
>"you just stopped trying!!!"
>"you stopped trying on purpose because you thought you were cured!!!" (do NOT know where this one came from but it's a common accusation)

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Well, I'm in mexico, but I could talk to you most of the time, even hear your rants, don't know if you'd like to

do the rants have to be about anything in particular?
Im free most of the time, and I rant about random bs to myself alot.

They don't understand user.
Its ok to slip up, recovering is hard, you just needed a break and thats ok.
On the road to recovery its ok to stop and rest.

You gotta get better at a pace you feel good about, no need to worry so much about the pressure, as long as you see the progress I think it's alright

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>ever getting better
>anyone noticing that you get worse
I don't know those feels user, sorry about the demons

>autism
>bad anxiety
>depreshun
desu i dont want to fix my problems because all thatll be left is someone years behind socially

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>High functioning autism
>schizoid
>try to socialize
>realize I don't know how, so I end up being quiet in large places
>hate crowds, so avoid them
>socialize somewhat at work, everyone is busy with work and family life
>everyone at my parish is either old and married, young and married, or too young for me
>try to socialize with them
>can't relate
>end up going home
>been living like this for 25 years

is there a way out?

At the end of a gun, user

>often worry that my only (online) friend will get tired of me or become emotionally abusive
>want to get more friends so I won't be left alone and so I won't have to annoy them so much talking at every opportunity
>disinterested in everyone else I meet

Maybe you should try to give others a chance, even if they bore you at first, they might be interesting when you get to know them, if they don't then just ignore them, who gives a fuck

Here I am replying to myself with a way to contact me for any lonely bots.
Spergoid#7469

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My grandmother spend her whole life doing hard labour on agrarian fields and conceptualized her entire life in these terms

she was a manipulative harpy and I'm only now realizing the extent to which my whole family is being secretly controlled by her garbage

I've tried fixing my behavior for years, and it sort of worked, but it is ever as if I'm pushing the patterns into a more abstract level, I've stopped acting as if I was a tractor but I'm still planning my life as if I was a manager of tractors

I've realized that this is not an accident, human beings in general seem to have a planner of sorts in their right hemisphere which maps out their life as if it were literally a spatial object (they call us earthlings duh) and the left hemisphere seem to reason independently while being given this framework to work in, leading to all kinds of funny stuff about feeling eternal and "god" planning etc

where do I go from here?

I've already taken up heavy drinking though.

Me too, it's the only way to kepp sane in this worls, isn't it?

just ended my first lsd trip, I cried 5 hours while my room was melting. At the end I had a great introspection and i was able to let go some feelings regarding my ex.

Glad you gpt somwthing out of that expwrience user, ir couls be wosrt

well i just had another miserable social experience that reminds me why i don't do social activities and stay in my room

>be typical autist at work who just makes jokes and makes people laugh but never really any real conversation
>work with a handful of coworkers who invited me to a hike they were going on, decide to go
>hike itself was okay, i was kinda quiet but it was enjoyable
>at the end they want a photo and immediately go to me to take it, not wanting me in a photo at all, whatever okay i hate photos anyway
>we go to dinner and i basically stay quiet the whole time like i was on the car ride there
>go in car with two of them after the other few go home
>i go full autist mode, one of them starts asking me questions about my life and i don't really give answers because i'm a complete shut in autist loser so i dont want to expose that to people so i dont give straight answers about anything
>she just says how mysterious i am and how every question that i dont answer makes her more interested in finding it out
>"wow user that makes sense that explains everything now" when i say im an only child which ive been told before as well

and this is me at 26 years old. i will never be normal. i will never have sex or ever have friends. i have to have some kind of mental illness, i dont think autism counts

Maybe you should try to get a diagnose, it might help you understand yourself more

I've dabbled into that but I lost interest. I was somewhat seasoned in rpg maker until they introduced scripting.

i used to be intensely depressed, suicidal, and anxious, and i frequently had hallucinations and nightmares. most of it stemmed from the mental torment i experienced due to my crazy veteran dad and gender dysphoria (ftm). eventually, i told my mom i was depressed and i needed medicine. for months, i was on lexapro, despite me pleading to my doctor that it didnt work. during my time on lexapro, i got much worse. i gained weight, stopped showering, and got much more suicidal. one day, i overdosed, and i had a rapid shift in perspective. i was in my local hospital with my mom, my boyfriend, and my bestfriend. i was sleepy and all i felt was this numbing sort of pain. my mom didnt leave my side until i got out the next morning. after this, i made a vow to myself that no matter how much i wanted to die, i wouldnt commit because it would hurt my loved ones so much. now, im still in the process of becoming better. ive told my friends and mom im transgender, and even though my mom struggles with no longer having a perfect baby girl, ive become better having lifted that burden off of my shoulders. my boyfriend knew all along, since i told him before we started dating, and hes been supportive to me. im about to cry typing this out. im still depressed a lot, struggling with school. im an insomniac, i binge eat, but now i keep up with hygeine and socialization. i take prozac every morning for depression and anxiety, and i want to talk to my doctor about lessening my doses. i havent had a hallucination in forever. in this time of recovery, ive also taken jesus into my heart. it sounds corny, but renewing my catholic faith i rejected while i was suicidal has given me new purpose in living.

tldr: i tried to commit because of depression from gender dysphoria and abuse, then i vowed that i wouldnt commit again because it would hurt other people.

hey, do you take antidepressants? i want to know if its safe for me to trip while on prozac because serotonin syndrome and all.

maybe you could try some different genres! im apart of this animal crossing community and a lot of people are depressed. since you said youre bad at vidya, try games that you dont need much skill in.

theres a drug for everybody, whether it be a prescription, psychedelics, religion, or lifestyle.

i was on lexapro for a while. i started with low doses, and all i got was a zombie like feeling and i lost the ability to cum. as my doses got higher, i became suicidal and tried to commit. then i got on prozac, and for the first time in years i feel like a normal person.

you have to find whats right for you. if your depression doesnt change or gets worse, listen to your gut and find different pills.

you mentioned a parish and not being able to talk to the people there. find religious people outside of your church or switch! if all else fails, remember that god is always there for you.

Schizoaffective and schizotypal bot again. I really enjoy these threads.

I have given up masturbating and porn two days ago. It's hard but if I pray the urges go away.

Life is pretty good at least for today. No hallucinations today. No voices today either. This happens once in a while so it's good.

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Anybody here shit at recognizing faces? I can remember names very well but when I look at somebody I met for the second time I go "who are you again?". I also look at babies and normies go, "this is an image of user as a baby", but I can't tell cuz to me all babies look the same. I'm really face blind and it kills me so much

why did you give up masturbation and porn? i find that masturbating to pure sources like art and fic leave me feeling fulfilled.

no, opposite for me. i remember faces extremely well but names are incomprehensible to me. this might just be because im an artist, and i naturally have a very observant eye.

lsd was the best drug i've ever taken. Every trip i learn something new about myself, and feel content with my life for a week or two. Except for the few bad trips
I took a break though, i was doing to much to often

I lost my gf this week and a result had a nervous breakdown and I think I've lost all my friends in the process.
The only thing stopping me from hanging myself is that I don't want my mom to be sad.

and yeah i know im a normie, but im still a broken piece of shit

>this might just be because im an artist, and i naturally have a very observant eye.
That's strange for me cuz I do art as well and I'm still no good with faces. Not sure why that is but yeah, I can only remember a person by their name unless if I meet them enough

I'm trying to live life free of sin. Porn and masturbating are pretty sinful. I was also extremely hesitant on deleting my hentai folders. The urges are strong but they go away if I pray hard enough.

Porn addiction is real and very real.

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I used to try to live sin free as well, but then i realized that by me doing so im doubting jesus. He did for our sins, so that people who sin could nonetheless enter heaven. I know that ill never be a saint, and as long as i dont commit mortal sin and accept god, ill get to heaven.

it might be the kind of art you do as well. most of my work is human centric.

though, if you are doing it in order to break an addiction, that is very good.

He died for our sins yes, but that doesn't mean we should all sin like crazy. Do you think orgiers and pedos will enter the gates of Heaven? Or the murderers or the unbelievers? Or the greedy politicians who start wars for money?

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Yes, I am doing to break addiction but I'm also doing it to get closer to God. And thank you

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that is valid. god im tired as hell so sorry for not being articulate. what i believe is that so long as your sins can be justified by regular human behavior, youre still a good christian.